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 m kaemicha
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 238
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!Page 7 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I love the title of this thread. So 19oo's. I go most everywhere alone but I do have a hard time going to a bar alone. Restaurants are fine but a bar, now that I don't drink, is just uncomfortable for me. I've gone to watch sporting events - I'm a big sports fan but other than that, I do need a friend to accompany me to a bar...but I'm working on the courage to go alone.
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 241
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:22:55 AM
Well I live in the country and there is a lakeside bar not far from me so once in a while I will go for a bite to eat or if the tiki bar outside is open .
I am really not into warming a bar seat and I don't drink much at all so if I don't see anyone I know I usually leave in an hour.
As far as people being territorial I figure I pay lots of property taxes its my territory.
If someone is bugging me I try to disinterest them by moving if that doesn't work I just flat out tell them I am not interested. Usually people are pretty cool but yes occasionaly someone will be obnoxious early in the night .
My trick is I don't stay till people get hammered because I find it kind of annoying to have someone blubbering in my ear spitting on me and trying to put their hands on me so I just leave before any of that starts.
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 242
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:14:44 PM
I am very reluctant to go out in the evening alone unless I have to attend a board meeting. Even then a neighbor will usually accompany me to it.

I would never ever go into any bar alone no matter what time it was.. I will not even eat lunch there if that restaurant has a bar.

But then again I do not like to be around people who drink.

Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 243
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 8/11/2009 3:59:04 PM
I have gone out alone and with friends. I do notice a certain standoffishness of those in a bar when I show up alone. Almost as if they are saying, "doesn't she have any friends?" It is nice when the bar staff is friendly and takes you into the fold, as it were. I have friends to go out with, but have hooked them up with someone and now they are busy with their significant others. So, stay home? Nah, I just grin and bear it and if not fun, I go somewhere else. Now this doesn't mean I don't get discouraged sometimes. As far as safety, follow your guts, don't let someone talk you out of a bad feeling, even if it seems unwarranted. Since the age of 15 or so I have maybe gotten myself into three messes and got myself out of everyone of them. I have traveled, lived, camped and gone out alone for many years. If you go out and want to be left alone, don't sit at the bar, get a table.
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 244
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:48:33 PM
I go to bars for karaoke and still go alone sometimes, but not often anymore. Doesn't bother me. I go alone when traveling. If I think being alone might be an issue, I can bring papers with me and put a ring on my left hand and just thank anyone for the complement but I am not available.

The reason I don't go alone anymore is because I have karaoke friends at all the places I go karaoke except when travelling. If you make friends with the bartender and other females or non-agreesive people than you can go to a lot of places and never really be alone.
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 245
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:24:54 AM

put a ring on my left hand and just thank anyone for the complement but I am not available.

Boy that is an idea I never thought about. Will have to dig out my engagement ring and marriage band from being eaten alive in my dresser drawer. I really was thinking of remodeling the ring that was made for me.. I wanted my engagement ring to be one large diamond flanked by two nice dark Citrines pn either side. My wedding band alternates the Citrines with the diamonds.. However now am having second thoughts about it I might just wear it on special occasions!!!

Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 248
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 8/14/2009 10:26:55 AM
Read my profile - pass it on.
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 251
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/12/2011 8:56:35 PM

I propose all women go to bars, lounges, and restaurants and flood the places with women until you no longer feel intimidated.
Its high time you women turned the tables on us men. It should be us who walk into a bar full of women and feel intimidated by all the femininity.

Perhaps this should be my next adventure in life...a bar geared for women and the men brave enough to enter. It could be sultry shades of on the tables...giant nature prints on the wall...NO decapitated dead animals hanging around...pool tables with pastel colored balls...and the eight ball would be purple instead of black...and a dart board surrounded by feathers. The bar would be glass all the way through and when you looked down inside...FISH!
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 252
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/12/2011 9:47:30 PM
The only place I go alone is to the cinema or shopping. Bars and clubs, forget it!! I would be way too uncomfortable... If you meet up with friends there, that is different.
The only women I see alone at these venues are addicts of one kind or another.
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 253
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/13/2011 6:37:58 AM
interesting question here. i do think there is a perception about a woman eating out alone. many men think the woman is looking to get laid, which is really really annoying because i see men out alone all the time. i too like to go out to eat or just have a drink alone. i have run into the same experiences that you have had.
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 254
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:06:32 AM
Oh, good lordy! I'm not a "real lady?" Ha, like I care what anyone else thinks. And it never occurred to me to be intimidated by a "bar full of men." If someone is too persistent (and not *everyone* hits on me if I go someplace alone), they are probably too drunk to pick up on a nice rejection, so I do what needs to be done, whether that is being blunt or telling their friends to rein 'em in. No big deal, and yes, you do make friends. Be yourself, be consistent, and others get the message. Having people you know in a place is nice but not essential. Sometimes I'll go to a new place just so I can enjoy the music (or whatever) alone. So, do what you enjoy and do not let others dictate what you can/cannot do. It might be a bit of work up front (if you are more sensitive to these things than I am), but it will be worth it to enjoy the sense of freedom that comes from having the confidence and skills to do what you like, when you like, where you like.
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 255
view profile
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/13/2011 10:31:24 AM

I pretty much go where I want and am not driven by other peoples perceptions of whatever...if complete strangers who don't know my character, heart and mind, spend much time thinking about me at all & need to think deprecating thoughts- I don't worry about that. I'm not the thought police......'course, it's almost always more fun to go with someone

I've never let what other people might think bother me. If it looked interesting or I wanted to do it, I did. So much more fun than having a long list of "should have done it when I had the chance" instead of a lot of interesting memories, once I reach the point where I can't do much other than remember things.

Gotta say, some of my family were rather outraged at times - there were such long lists of what "proper ladies" didn't do. All that vanished once I was on my own, though.
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 256
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/13/2011 12:35:43 PM
Hey guys and gals,

I'm 62 and if I hadn't been willing to go out alone, I would have spent one lot of time home alone. For me, if I'm happy in my own skin, I don't allow myself to be overly concerned of others and their opinions about my actions or decisions. Whether it be going out alone or anything else.

It's fun to go out with the girls. It's fun to go out with a nice fella. For me, sometimes, it's fun to go out alone.

I find that eye contact says a whole lot. If someone is giving me the eye and I'm not interested, I quickly give a "no" message. Body language and eye contact can say more than words.

I have gone into bars alone and come out alone. Same for many restaurants, cruises, etc. I find sometimes going alone can give one more freedom.

I don't allow any man, or woman for that matter, to invade my boundaries. If I feel they are, I quickly let them know and that generally takes care of it. I have never needed the assistance of a bouncer yet. I think a woman that gives a powerful, independent message from the get go has the cards in her hand right off the bat. There are certainly those out there that would call that a turn off. So that's fine with me, let them be turned off. Like I said, being comfortable in your own skin, and giving a strong message of independence and self power can go a long way.

Hope this helps some of you. It took me a while to get to this point. Like I said, I'm 62. It used to be totally unacceptable for a woman to go out alone. That's old school. WE HAVE OVERCOME!!
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 257
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/13/2011 1:17:56 PM
I hope the subject line was meant as a joke.

I read the original post and skimmed through a few pages, making my way to the last page and Mountain Grammy's post. Right on to everything she wrote.

It's entirely possible, likely even, that I'm not a proper lady.

I've been doing most things alone for 20 years (yes, more so when I was married). If I want to do something, I do it. I can't think of a place I wouldn't go solo that I would go with someone else. If I'm not good company for myself, I'm surely not going to be good company for anyone else.
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 258
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/13/2011 2:32:21 PM
i will treat myself to dinner...and i did last night... i was supposed to go out but my date never called i had fun... we need to take care of ourselves and do not worry about other people and their views
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 259
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/14/2011 10:08:50 PM
Mountain-Grammy is my new hero.

(bows to M-G)

Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 260
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/15/2011 11:26:28 AM
Msg 353

The only women I see alone at these venues are addicts of one kind or another.

That's a totally UNFAIR generalization!

I stop at a bar sometimes on my way home from work waiting for the traffic to die down. I see nothing wrong with drinking a drink, playing trivia & chatting.
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 261
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Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/21/2011 2:51:41 PM
I never go out by myself, when i was younger age, i used to go out by myself alot, to bars, but when i became a first time mother, id be packing around my baby in town, id feel weird and outa place cos i was used to been alone, than after years of being with my kids, i got used to having them with me all the time, felt funny if i was without them in town, so now i always have to have sumbody with me, i rarely go anywheres alone, i hardly go to bars, id rather stay at home where im more comfortable
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 262
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/21/2011 10:03:37 PM
You have to watch-out for Proper Ladies...alone at a bar....
Many of them study Martial Arts..!!
Another good reason to be Respectful to them..!!
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 263
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:10:28 PM
Women do not have a monopoly on unwanted advances in bars. At my local dance venue a gentleman friend of mine was being pestered by a woman under the influence. He got up to go to the men's room and on his way back sat somewhere else. the bartender moved his drink for him.

I am short. Sitting at a bar to eat is uncomfortable. I like to sit at a table. The view is better. can see the door who is coming in. In a new place I am thinking of making a regular I can get a lay of the land better from a table. See who the regulars are. who is drinking a lot, who is social.
In new bar- dance venue I do not drink anything but soda til I am really sure of the terrain. Truly it has been rare for a regular to come on to a newbie who is not drinking. And a newbie (male) who does not know me.. Never gets far. I get up and don't come back. Ther are other places to sit. And other people to talk to.
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 264
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:44:17 PM

I go out to eat by myself occasionally - mainly lunch or early dinner - and it's like every "regular" there - -who has been there for the previous 2 hours, drinking - - - - tries to get in your business or try to pick you up.!

I do still go eat alone and bluntly say, I'm sorry. I just came here to eat. And smile. AND - I also find it VERY helpful to get to know, at least by name, someone who works there, knows you're alone and may not want to be bothered, so they can keep an eye on the "regulars"

And! A BIG CHEER to all of us women, whether we have a man or not, have the confidence enough to go out and eat alone, go to a movie alone - anything! We have the right to"our" time, and if we don;t want to be bothered, and sometimes we like the attention!!

Whatever the case - -keep up the self-confidence!
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 265
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/23/2011 1:03:11 PM
An old thread but a good one.. Ill bite.

Two quick scenarios.
One, went to the local Sports Bar because a friend said she and her husband got a great burger there. I was shopping, it was around noon so I stopped in to try it. Dressed casually, jeans and shirt, I sat at the first open booth by the door. The waiter took my order and few minutes later a man walked up to me.
"HI, welcome to ----------- Im the new owner here. Is this youre first time? I dont remember seeing you. "
I said yes it was. His immediate reply to me was this is a family style sports BAR (yea I know) and we are not wanting women looking for dates.
LOL.. I swear he actually said it. Now, here I am, noontime, in my runabout jeans and shirt just looking for a hamburger..!!
I left after explaining myself to him. He asked me not to leave and wanted to let the house pay for my meal but I refused and told everyone I knew what happened.

Two, it was summertime and I was wearing my new maxi dress looking cute I thought. Went to the local Italian restaurant (which makes an awesome sausage lasagna) and ordered. The waitress came back a few minutes later telling me how pretty I am. I thanked her because Im getting older and you appreciate every compliment you get. She smiled and left. Then a few minutes later she asked if I was married. I said no. I didnt think much about it...until she came back again and asked if I would date a doctor. I said what?? Well, no. I dont think I would because Ive worked with them and for the most part they make horrible decisions and work long hours and for some reason most feel like they "own" you because they have lots of money.
She returned a few minutes later and asked me again if I would be willing to change my mind. WTF?? She kept telling me how pretty I am. Made feel soo uncomfortable with it I asked for a doggie bag when my food arrived. (I might be uncomfortable but that lasagna makes everything better I swear) I had to leave. As Im leaving a man stops me at the door. Smiles and says hello.. apparently he was the one asking (paying) her to ask me questions for HIM... ugh....

Now. Im a cute girl.. but Im old.. lets face it. Flattered maybe..but it was uncomfortable in both scenarios..
BUT I do go out even tho I am alone. If I had to wait for someone to go with me I would never go anywhere at all... and I like going places and doing things. I went to Silver Springs by myself. I go shopping alone, I eat alone... that's only two incidents and it doesnt happen alot.. but you shouldnt stop life because of others.
Go out. Have fun! Life is worth it.

Joined: 3/30/2011
Msg: 266
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/23/2011 2:13:33 PM
Since I'm male I don't have that issue, but I do have a suggestion.

I regularly dine out alone. If you are eating at a bar that happens to serve food I can see that problem even if you sit at a table or high-top.

Have you tried a restaurant that happens to have a bar?
I don't like to sit at the bar because it is too noisy. I just get a booth in the dining room. Most chain restaurants have the booth for two and if they don't, take one for four.

I think if you are in the dining room at a booth that guys will be less likely to come over if they do at all. A table is probably more approachable, but I really can't imagine someone approaching you in the dining room.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 267
view profile
Proper ladies don`t go out alone!
Posted: 11/24/2011 1:14:11 AM
You have to watch-out for Proper Ladies...alone at a bar...
Many of them study Martial Art..!!
Another good reason to be Respectful to them..!!

I have heard these Proper Ladies who studied Martial Art at a bar downing their sorrow on a dozen mugs of budwieser for being desperadas really don't practice their martial arts on flying kick a guy because they are wearing micro mini skirt with just teeny wenie piece of thong or sometimes nothing, Proper Ladies are very discreet about it ,they don't show it in public...
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