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 anastasia78
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 86
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I'll choose someone that has a bit of both. I agree with your ideas.

It is important to be simple for certain things.. agree that you cannot change some things.. but know that you have the ability to think deeply into an idea, activity, action and break it apart and find out what it is made up of, what you can do to make it better, the ability to change things.. I am technically minded... so complicated things make me revved up and I appreciate people who can do just that... try to understand life.

People who are simple infuriates me.. They accept life for what it is and does nothing to make it better.. Although I am a bit simple.. You can be simple for some things that are just that simple and cannot be broken apart.. or cannot be altered.. or changed..

Complex people are great because they tend to bring all the complicated things and make it work. The air of sophistication and know it all tend to make them a tad bit snobbish.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 89
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 6:54:49 AM
This is kind of a "complex" question

Someone complex but uncommunicative is just complex, whereas someone complex but very open and communicative will be "simple" and the same applies to less complex people, where even a quite uncomplicated person who isnt open and communicative will be "complex" to understand as its going to be mainly guesswork with them

But I would have to sit on the fence and say something between the two extremes as you can (IMO) have too simplistic and too complex (often just a sign of instability and a lack of any real core behind their personality) so I would prefer someone who is capable of "rational" complexity where needed, but who is honest and open about their views so that theres no actual complexity there because you'd "know" rather than having to guess or intuit their outlook on things
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 90
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 7:09:12 AM

I prefer the word "complex" to "complicated".


Same here.

I am a complex person but I lead a simple life. I prefer to be around other complex people. I find that "simple" people tend to view the world very much in black and white when there are not only many gradations of gray, but lots of color.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 101
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 10:55:30 AM
The greatest minds are able to express complex ideas in simplistic terms... we call this genius....

So complexity of thought and simplicity of expression is what I seek
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 102
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 11:16:48 AM

depends on the size of her boobs

does not matter what is her personality,

simple or complicated who cares of these things...

if she is sexy enough,

any man is hitting on her!


The biggest breasts I have seen on any woman have been on extremely obese women--and no one was hitting on them. If you find 300 pound women sexy because of their large mammary glands, have at it.


"My life is complicated", is a phrase that one might hear from a complicated person. "My life is simple", is a phrase that one might hear from a not-so-complicated person.


Like Naturemaid, I disagree with this conjecture. I know "simple" people whose lives are very complicated with what is popularly called "drama." I am a complex person with convoluted thought processes, yet my life is quite simple--boring by the standards of most, yet no one has ever accused me of being boring.


The greatest minds are able to express complex ideas in simplistic terms... we call this genius....

So complexity of thought and simplicity of expression is what I seek


I had a professor who said that when we write, we need to make simple things seem complex and complex issues seem simple.

I do not think that simple people can make themselves seem complex, though I have seen them try. I have, though, seen complex people have that "simplicity of expression" very often.


simplicity is genius. An over complicated person is often a sign of someone who cannot make up their mind or changes their mind constantly. Not a good thing in my book.


Not being able to make up one's mind has nothing to do with a "complicated" mind! However, I find that complex people often have varying views on a subject, it is not the inability to make up his/her mind, but being able to understand or consider an issue from various angles.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 106
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 1:58:39 PM

Just a thought on something another poster said about "being able to understand or consider an issue from various angles."

Now is it a complicated or simple mind, that is open or closed? My question is when you are able to see both sides of an issue or "various angles", don't most believe better decisions come with an open mind, than someone who lacks the ability to see the others viewpoint?

I mean we see dozens of threads where someone's hang ups, beliefs or rules, disallows the viewpoint or beliefs, of the very person they are trying to date or have a relationship with. Seems strange to me, when you say "I want to date you, but your beliefs and thoughts are totally wrong, so you should forget them and embrace mine"

Hahahaha!! That isn't complicated versus simple, that's my way or the highway!


Ah, but you are referring to examples which are very often colored by emotion, and when we depend mostly on emotion in decision making, we run the risk of not being logical.

For example, I would not date--even less partner with--someone who is a Christian fundamentalist, and that is not having a closed mind or emotionalism but making a decision based on experience. In my experience with fundies, we are incompatible because they think that I am a Satan worshiping idolator, and they consistently want to convert me and tell me that I am going to hell. Of course, the question is open as to whether a true fundie would want to date me!

In a closer examination of this specific example, I was in the Christian church for a very long time; I know the belief system and the history of that belief system. A fundamentalist Christian knows little about anything beyond their beliefs--again, I say this based on experience.

It occurs to me, though, that no one has defined a "simple" mind--what criteria establishes a person as "simple." My criteria could be different from that of other people.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 109
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 2:28:05 PM

My answer?
I'm not into complicated .. appreciate simple.

To answer the "why?"... Because I'm retired, living simply-peacefully, and I love it!


Again, no one has defined a "simple" person. For a very long time, "simple" meant a person who was below average intelligence. To me, it can be someone of average intelligence but one who accepts the status quo without questioning it. They buy into what cultural institutions tell them--i.e. religion or the government. They do not even stop to consider that MAYBE the cultural mores and beliefs of other people and cultures are not as valid as their own.

I cannot remember all the times that simple people told me that I "think too much." Thinking too much entails questioning issues or "things" that many people don't question. It is also seeing connections that other people can't see.

On the other hand, "simple" is also being so gullible that one buys into every conspiracy theory or other outlandish proposal that comes along.

So, I apparently think too much, but my life is simple--I own a modest house, I teach, I don't go to bars or clubs, and I don't socialize a lot. Many people would say that is boring, but I find what THEY do boring! Sitting before a TV, conversations consisting of he did that and she did this, talking about sports, recounting the plots of movies . . . I would rather contemplate on more esoteric things.



Anyone willing to accept a "man in the sky" belief, to the exception of anything else is simple! They can ignore facts the size of elaphants, and go right on down the road.


I agree with that, but I will take it one step further: fundies won't even consider ideas because they fear that the opposition might make sense! And I am talking about fundies in any situation, not just religion.

When I was in the Christian church, the pastor told the congregation that we shouldn't read ANYTHING that challenged the Bible or established beliefs because it could weaken our faith. He was right: education is a dangerous tool.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 113
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 3:29:13 PM

A very wise person can also be quite simple, Gwen.
They have no need for "thinking too much" or endless discussions.
They are content in their wisdom and live in peace with their knowledge.
It takes seeking to get there.. (can even take many dips in the complicated pool)..
but once there, they can dwell in simplicity and 'complicated' is seen as not needed to dip into again.


When we say "complex" vs. "simple," are we speaking of wisdom or knowledge? I have heard people with low IQs speak wisely and I have heard PhDs spout nonsense.

It is not a matter of a "need" to think "too much" and it is not a matter of endless discussion. There is a time to speak and there is a time to be silent. When people have told me that I think "too much," they never gave me a manual on how to think less.

If I do not ask questions, I won't find answers. The "wise" person who does not ask "why" is stagnant and content with what little knowledge that he/she has--and all of us have but little knoweldge. One question leads to another. I never want to reach a point where I do not feel the need or desire to refrain from dipping into the pool. In my opinion, if a person reaches a state where he/she ceases to seek answers and no longer asks questions, that is the height of hubris and/or laziness.

NO one has THE answers, not the quiet sage nor the person with the highest IQ or the most education. It is all subjective.

The "wise" person who is "content" in his/her knowledge is not wise.


If you speak slowly in a sonorous voice you can sound wise while reading the back of a cereal box.


If you can't convince 'em with the facts, dazzle them with the BS--or speak in an authoritative, sonorous, voice!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 116
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 4:20:56 PM

If it's wisdom you want just hang out on face book. You can get one pithy platitude and aphorism after another.


I have unsubscribed to some of my friends' status reports because that's all they do; I swear, some of them seem incapable of an original thought.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 118
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 5:19:10 PM
blueeyedbaldman- I just turned 43 myself. It's really just bs to say you have a "simple" life.
There's work, bills, children (in my case)and all of the things people deal with in everyday life.
I don't know anyone that doesn't have some type of "complication" going on.
How can anyone claim their life is "simple"?
What are you jobless, no bills, no stress, no worries?!!
Puh-lease.
I find threads like this tedious.
Things are never so black or white.
I love my life stress and all.
I'll save "simple" for fantasy land, lol.
uh oh, I just made myself sound complicated, OH NO!
 kanlai
Joined: 5/13/2009
Msg: 120
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/30/2011 9:10:14 PM
what exactly is a complicated/non-so-complicated person...defined by?
All I know is, I don't like simple minded average guys who thinks like the next guy...
the world tells him to sleep around, he'll sleep around...
the world tells him life is all about having fun, cheating on your man is ok , then he cheats..
the world tells him that your partner needs to call every 3 minutes, then I'll have to call every 3 minutes, simple people with no mind of their own is scary...

All I can say is I don't care if he's complicated, not-so-complicated, not complicated at all in terms of personality, but he better be smart enough to make good judgement, can be reasoned with and not let the world drag him by the nose.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 125
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/31/2011 4:41:20 AM

If your complicated it just means you have a whole set of problems to bring to the relationship.


why do they have to be problems?

two people in their 20s to 50s dating after a marriage breakup could find themselves juggling the schedules of their jobs, their kids and their aging parents.

those aren't problems - that's just life.
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 126
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/31/2011 4:59:51 AM
I'm a pretty complex guy, so I don't think I'd really get along with someone simple. However, if they're simple in that their basic needs are few and beyond that they're happy with whatever they have, and are easy-going and stuff, I suppose it could work. It might actually be better than trying to find someone who has a bunch of the same interests as me. That said, when I see a person on a dating site describe themselves as "simple", about 90% of the time that person tends to live in the Philippines. Which doesn't help me a whole lot. (Note: I'm sure it's not exclusive to the Philippines, it's just that on the site where I tend to see that, 74% of the female members are Pinay.)
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 127
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/31/2011 6:53:47 AM
Complex is a subjective term

An example that sprung to mind is this

I had a friend who in my teenage years had a habit of fancying almost every woman/girl I dated

So when I was getting close to wanting a change I started to oversell him to the ones that seemed to get on with him or engineered more times they would spend time with us then after we split up he ended up dating quite a few of them

My view was simply that "I" didnt want to be with them anymore, so if the two of them got on I was happy for them, as "simple" as that

Other friends though said I "overcomplicated" or "overthought" things by thinking that, and that the "simple" way to look at it was "a friend shouldnt ever date another friends ex"

I would pretty much guarantee that my "train of thought" on the topic took no more, and probably far less time to arrive at than they took to arrive at theirs, but because they couldnt get their head around the concept that once I wasnt dating someone I didnt feel I had any reason nor right to "dictate" who they should or shouldnt date it was MY thinking that was "complex"

So in some instances I think the term "complex" is just used by somene when they cant understand someone elses perspective

Also, it crops up when someone deliberately avoids taking into account key details too

An example there would be along the lines of this

A friend had started seeing a woman, and had been seeing her for a couple of weeks but hadnt introduced her to the rest of us

One night she had gone out with friends and another one of the group (without ever having met her before) copped off with her

When he did eventually bring her out with the rest of us this obviously came out

Not only did the guy dump the girl, but he also fell out with the mate, but when I pointed out that she had just been "A.N. Other as far as he was concerned, and that he hadnt known who she was I got told I was overanalysing, complicating the issue etc etc and that the "simple" facts of the matter were that he HAD slept with his girlfriend

So in instances like that "simplistic" is just avoiding very relevant and pertinent facts because they get in the way of what you want to do if any level of mature logic and common sense is allowed to "cloud" the decision making process

So niether word is in personal useage quite as clear cut as some might like to claim they are
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 129
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/31/2011 7:20:40 AM

Well, I'm a math major...so in my case, I deal with complicated things all the time...so I think I prefer someone simple lmao. I need a break from those equations; I don't need to add a frustrating one with no solution.


I teach writing and mythology, and I never want to take a break from those subjects because I am passionate about them. However, I want someone who already has knowledge of both because I do not want to be a teacher in my personal life.

Someone who knows nothing about what is important to me is . . . boring. But then, math is boring so I can understand why you would want a break. (Grin.)

So, what do you want to discuss with your girlfriends and why? I can't imagine not wanting to discuss those things that are important to me.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 131
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/31/2011 9:03:17 AM
I would tend to agree with Shakti on that really to some extent

I have enjoyed immensely learning about someone elses passion where I previously had no interest or knowledge or hadnt even considered the topic

A few years ago I was dating a feminist law professor whos specialisation was gender bias within the law which at face value seemed almost contradictive to be honest. But turned out to be an ubelievably interesting topic and endlessly surprising

So I dont think its as important for someone to already share an interest or fascination for something as it would be for someone to find something interesting or fascinating when they are exposed to it

Infact if you look in practically any type of science you tend to find almost dogma based disputes where niether side "knows" something, but where 2 or more sides "believe" they do, and each claims their conclusions prove their stance when in true scientific discovery such a disparity used to be cause to look for a 3rd option

So going back to the "shared" interest and knowledge thing it would not only need to be shared love of the topic, but also a cloned copy of the stance and belief systems associated with that topic too in a similar fashion to "an interest in religion" being an incompatibility if one person is a muslim and the other is a catholic as an example

Both share the "interest" maybe even with equal passion, both also might share the depth of knowledge and understanding. But they dont share the specific belief system within that topic
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 136
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 10/31/2011 3:20:04 PM

To Shak (and Gwen):

I think it might be okay for someone not to be terribly knowledgeable *at the outset* about one's interests, but I think as your relationship becomes serious that what is important to your partner becomes worthy of some interest from you. Ultimately, however, you shouldn't require your partner's interests to precisely match your own (it no doubt goes without saying). For example, I'm more interested in ancient Greek history than in Elizabethan history, but if my lady were a nut about that period I very likely would crack open a book or two about it.


Spot on! I have had an off/on relationship with a man for five years, and one of the reasons that he keeps my interest is that he takes the time to find out about my interests. He also sends books to me (he is not in the same state) about the things he enjoys.

When I say that I do not want to "educate" a man, I mean just that! He needs to research and then, we can discuss. At that stage, my "instruction" flows from the conversation--this goes both ways, of course.

Men have contacted me on dating sites and said that they knew nothing about my passions but that I could "teach" them. My reply is always, "Well, I get paid to teach."
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 139
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/1/2011 8:38:49 AM

Well, maybe you could branch out into a new occupation. ;)


Do you mean a class on POF about mythology or writing?


I have to say, I'm not sure how I'd respond to someone saying I could "teach them." I think I'd be inclined to suspect they weren't serious (and probably just trying to say something that would get them in my pants; not that I could blame them, of course ;-). Seriously, my first feeling is one of being turned off.


I'll tell you what they meant: "I am not interested in your interests but I'll pretend to be because I want to meet you and perhaps have a "relationship" that will develop into more than listening to you drone on about this and that. It might be worth it if I can get into your pants."

Of course, the joke is on them because I wear dresses MUCH MORE OFTEN than I wear pants.
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 146
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/2/2011 4:43:17 AM

Well one thing is true... balding men who wear blond, feminine wigs are too complicated for me...


Really? Oh well, back to the drawing board I guess...


Personally, I think of it more relating to lifestyle than mental capacity--at least one someone calls themselves simple. (When someone calls someone else simple, that's another matter entirely.) Simple to me means being content with the basics, the simple things in life--a roof over your head, a loving family, clean water and enough to eat. All that is fine, but I'm a person with lots of interests and hobbies, and I want someone who also has a lot of interests--preferably a lot of the same ones as me--and a good career they enjoy.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 150
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/2/2011 3:40:15 PM

Its so refreshing to see men admit to prefering complicated women. My experience as a woman who is straight forward, honest and has no time for games is men get bored easy. Whereas my friends who play needy, elusive ect have men who chase them down. But most men dont admit to it.


Now here is a distinction between "complicated" and "complex." I am complex, yet I am very straightforward and honest. "Complicate," as this poster would define it, is being elusive, needy, etc.

However, I have never felt "abandoned" by men who chase elusive and/or needy women. Of course, I wouldn't be interested in a man who prefers fluff over substance.


Well, Gwen, that's pretty much what I had in mind.


VL, you mean you wanted to get into one of my dresses?

 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 152
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/2/2011 10:44:03 PM
Life is basically simple, people make it complex. We try to get what we want out of life and so we forget to just follow simple rules.

If it isn't yours ..don't take it
If you aren't happy in a relationship, it's your problem stop trying to change the other person
Someone can love you but their love isn't what will make you happy.
blah blah blah

So see simple can really be complex.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 154
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/3/2011 6:32:15 AM

Life is basically simple, people make it complex. We try to get what we want out of life and so we forget to just follow simple rules.


Ah, but Giggles, LIFE can be very simple, but "life" and "people" are not synonymous. As I, and others, have pointed out, we lead simple lives but are complex people.

I see many "simple" people lead convoluted and stressful lives that they would most likely term as "complicated." If Bill or Mary have kids with several different women or men and are also seeing others on the sly, their lives are complicated even though they might be simple (minded) people. If Mary is an emotional drama queen, she could be simple but complicated; if Bill is a womanizer, he doesn't need to be complex to spread around his seed, but his actions might produce some complicated results.

VL, you could easily wear the green dress that I am wearing in a profile picture.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 157
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:37:34 AM
But Gwen,

I was saying a very complex person might have a simple life, they realize that life is simple and so they do the work to keep their life simple but it uses a very complex life skills to do that; the hardest being acceptance of who they are and what makes them happy and then living accordingly. A simple person would try to make someone fit into their life that doesn't really fit and make their life complicated.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 164
Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/3/2011 8:12:22 PM

But Gwen,

I was saying a very complex person might have a simple life, they realize that life is simple and so they do the work to keep their life simple but it uses a very complex life skills to do that; the hardest being acceptance of who they are and what makes them happy and then living accordingly. A simple person would try to make someone fit into their life that doesn't really fit and make their life complicated.


Giggles, gotcha!


Just tugging on a wig pretty much takes everything out of me.


Imagine doing it while wearing the green dress, pantyhose, and three inch spiked heels--I think that the four inchers would be TOO much for you.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 172
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Do you prefer someone complicated, or someone simple?
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:03:03 PM
This is a silly question, how can a person prefer a complicated person to get connected with, doesn't life is full of drama already and s/he wants some one to be his/her pain in the side?
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