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 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 257
after 40 it is really hard to find a datePage 16 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I tried older and younger in my 20's and found out then that I wanted someone around my age and with a similar body type. That hasn't changed since then.

I figured I could expect what I could offer.
 Steve2600
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 258
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 1/13/2010 6:38:29 PM
Regarding fluffybrain's posts, I have not observed what she has said as true except when it comes to online dating. On the internet, woman will indeed max out on the age thing at 4 yrs older, while in real life, I have observed that woman really dont care at all and will easily flex 10-12 years older in a man. Its common to see a 28-34 yr old woman date men in their upper 30's to mid 40's. Just my observation. And jeez, I dont know who fluffy has been talking to(yikes!), I havent heard of woman 10 yrs younger leaving their husbands for age reasons such as for younger men. Thats just plain nonsense. Sound slike wishful thinking on her part. LOL. Though I do believe "American " people in general tend to divorce quite easily like its nothing.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 259
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 1/13/2010 6:43:37 PM
^^^A few of us point out this truth - that online dating expectations and practices are very different than the real world.

It's why I still prefer to meet someone in the real world. It's why I tried going to the POF events. It's why I joined another online group to expand my social circle.

As much as most of us prefer having the photos, in some way it works against us! The phone line dating was kinda cool. You heard someone's voice as they described themselves. Of course, there were time wasters on there as well LOL.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 260
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 1/13/2010 10:32:45 PM
this isn't rocket science. let's make it really simple. if you're way older, you're just not going to look good to someone younger. you can slice it, dice it, and rationalize it any way you want, but the truth is the truth. i'd prefer not to be quite so blatant, but let's face it, the thought of kissing, etc someone way older repulses most of us. lala land is not to change that. sorry if you're not happy with it. i didn't make it that way...it's basic biology.

bottom line: just because someone looks good to you does not mean you look good to them. some of you need to quit deluding yourselves. take a long, hard look in the mirror, then take a long hard look at the rest of what you have to offer.

everything else aside: this subject has been studied over and over again in psychology. people attract about their own level. if, for example, you're fat, old, bald, poor, uneducated you can't expect to attract that sleek, young, hot, female ceo.

it seems some don't want to face reality. there's no point arguing further.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 261
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 1/14/2010 5:29:35 AM

everything else aside: this subject has been studied over and over again in psychology. people attract about their own level. if, for example, you're fat, old, bald, poor, uneducated you can't expect to attract that sleek, young, hot, female ceo.


Well apparently alot of people do. There is another thread about "leagues" and I think your comment speaks to that. There are some hot young female ceo's who would be interested in a man that most wouldn't think they would be. However, if someone does not indicate that in their profile?

I seek a man who has a similar physical body type, but I rarely get that on here. Most are overweight. In person however I do attract what I seek. I think I'm pretty clear on what I am attracted to on my profile, yet it seems nobody really reads it......wow, what a newsflash! When that happens, I get miffed because I myself follow that rule. If a man stated on his profile that he doesn't like thin women? I don't contact him. What would be THE point?
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 262
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 1/14/2010 8:35:56 AM

owns a gorgeous house in an upscale neighborhood,


has a great career


why do is suspect if those ^^^^^
ingredients were missing from

just met a guy here on POF who is 49. He's got all his teeth, owns a gorgeous house in an upscale neighborhood, housebroke, fun to be out with, and very active!! Decrepit? I hardly think so! He's also quite intelligent, in great health, and has a great career, a wonderful attitude, and WOW! Looks like I've got a rare one -


^^^^this list, the picture might change?

and why do i think

The "40" year olds are most like 10 years older lying through their false teeth as usual.

this^^^^
is so funny??!!!!!
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 263
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 1/14/2010 8:50:27 AM

fluffy: So what I get from your post (misguided and confusing as it is) is that you're 41 and it repulses you when you think of having to kiss someone 45-50 years old.


cw, i don't really care who dates whom. i mostly see a lot of irony in these discussions and i like to stir it up.

having said that, i'm not all that attracted to people much older. people younger...well, that seems like yesterday, so they don't seem as young. and i'm not talking about being attracted to the unattractive younger ones. people older...well, i'm not there yet, so it always seems further removed. i just don't like the way it looks. as i get there, however, it seems more normal.

i doubt i'm misguided. i tend to see things all too clearly. most people live their lives enamored with yet envious of the joneses (generically, the joneses are anything these people find exciting whether money, looks, position, or anything else). they have all sorts of artificial interests, values are lacking,...and blah, blah, blah. i don't particularly gravitate toward that. i've seen too much and experienced things most people never experience...so i tend to see though it. it all seems so mickey mousey after a while.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 264
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 9/24/2010 8:13:20 PM
get a convertible, get over it all. Seems to be working for me.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 265
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 9/24/2010 9:16:57 PM
I have to agree with gideonjoe
Improve yourself on making A BETTER PERSON, you can do so much in this world today with or without a partner in life.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 266
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 9/25/2010 11:44:51 AM

1. Maintain a Strong Social Network. Get out, join clubs, be a volunteer, get involved in different organizations. The more people who "know your name" the better.

2. Maintain your physical condition. Women arent shallow, but they all appreciate at least someone who is attempting to take care of their body. I find it highly amusing when a man 1/2 my age is asking me for advice on getting "bigger" or getting in better shape.

3. Take up new hobbies and activities, and try and pick those where you may actually meet someone interesting.

4. Improve yourself. Take a class, or two or however many your current job will allow. I am going to take 2 classes next year at a local Community College.

5. Dont center your life around dating. Center your life around getting better and having some fun!

Wow! Sound advice in forums? Who would've thought??? (Couldn't agree more, especially with #5.)
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 267
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 10/7/2010 6:25:25 AM
Agreed. ^^^^^Don't center your life around dating. No, it isn't hard to date in your 40's. Simply meet people and date. Enlarge your social network; get involved in volunteer/ community activities; get involved in church, etc. I meet people every day and find people to hang out with as friends, etc. I keep a very positive attitude about life in general.
 Zeppolino
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 268
after 40 it is really hard to find a date
Posted: 12/14/2010 3:32:50 PM
This just isn't always true. I'm an older gentleman in his fifties who has reached out to a good number of women in their forties and fifties, and only recieve sporadic response. I am intelligent, successful, honest, respectiful, fun loving, in good physical shape, and not at all bad looking. I'm just looking for a woman who can truthfully say the same things about herself. And THEY are hard to find.
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