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 spixel
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 21
cell phone/guest etiquettePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
That's not old fashioned at all, it is common courtesy. What is really strange is that the people who do this see absolutely nothing wrong with it, the total ignorance of it goes right over their head.
 WesternRose
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 22
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:38:35 AM
outofthedesert and sherilyn, so sorry about the illness in your family.... I just was trying to give examples... I mean... Someone dying...yeah... I meant an emergency call that there was an accident etc.
As for putting your life on hold because of a prolonged illness in the family, of course not!

I was referring to those Drama Kings and Queens who have so much make believe crisis in their lives on a daily basis that they can not put it away long enough to go on a date without the phone attached to their ear.
 imalitltpot
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 23
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 3/31/2008 12:26:41 PM
OP Situation #1: Not a true friend. If you do decide to hang out with her again, you might lightheartedly ask if she's leaving the phone at home.

OP Situation #2: Why in the world did you not get up and leave when she took the second call? I would have!!


I cannot stand call-waiting. If I'm talking to someone and they take another call, I hang up. If someone calls me and I'm expecting a call, I'm sure to tell them that I may have to interrupt our conversation. Otherwise, I let the calls go to voicemail. The beeping of the call-waiting and the voicemail are sooooo annoying!!
 kalamazooger
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 24
view profile
History
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:36:23 AM

Well, the first example I can understand. She had not been out for a while, and was just checking in on her " babies", if I was you I would have forgiven that.


That was the thing. This is someone who is out ALL the time, with business and associations. It's not like she was unused to being away from her kids. AND she had JUST left them to go out. This was common behavior for the woman, whom I had known for five years. That's why I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was the one being unreasonable.

By the way, there was a third instance. I was meeting a Fish person and we met at a mall, since we live far apart. She was talking on the phone as she drove in. I thought I recognized her from her picture. I wanted to say how happy I was to meet her, but when I got to her SUV she was still on the phone, and I had to stand there, staring at my shoes as she talked on for several minutes. For a first meeting, I thought that sort of set the tone.

It seems that some people are now unable to be disconnected for more than a minute. Is independent thought and quiet meditation totally obsolete?
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 25
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:42:01 AM
By the way, there was a third instance. I was meeting a Fish person and we met at a mall, since we live far apart. She was talking on the phone as she drove in. I thought I recognized her from her picture. I wanted to say how happy I was to meet her, but when I got to her SUV she was still on the phone, and I had to stand there, staring at my shoes as she talked on for several minutes. For a first meeting, I thought that sort of set the tone.

You're making an assumption there and could be totally off base. Many many times I have actually talked on the phone on the way to a meet. There are several very logical reasons for this. The first is that someone knows where I am going and that I did in fact arrive there. The second is that it helps take the edge off of the nerves of meeting a new person by talking to someone I'm comfortable with on the way to there, it gives me less time to think "do I look okay? did I wear the right outfit? what if I'm too early?".

If you were meeting her at the mall you should have waited for her in the mall, not greeted her at her car. I'd probably freak out a little bit if the guy approached my car before I was out of it... often I want to do a last minute touch up before I get out of the car, take a deep breath, and then put on my smile.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 26
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:40:43 PM
Msg: 1

I have STRONG feelings about THIS!!!! When I'm out on a date, my cell is not OFF, but it IS on SILENT!! It logs any missed calls so I can call back later if I choose. In short, I NEVER answer my cell on a date.

Flipside? If SHE talks on HER cell EVEN ONCE, she will NOT be with me AGAIN!!! I think cell usage during what I consider to be an intimate period is EXTREMELY RUDE!!!!

BTW, I have been on a number of dates with women who have had cell phones. I have never YET had the displeasure of her answering a call, whoever she may have been. Apparently, there ARE SOME women who have the same disdain for cell usage as I do during what SHOULD be private and intimate moments.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 27
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:50:12 PM


Msg: 4 -- When I am on a date, I tell the gentleman that my phone is on vibrate and that the only call I will take is from my 77 year old father who has cancer.


Your situation has a radically different situation than any I could conceive. To your credit, I would excuse a call to YOUR cell, because you would have been courteous enough to have informed me beforehand of your dilemma. My complaint in my previous post was directed toward those whose cell usage would have been abusive rather than needful.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 28
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 2:58:40 PM


Msg: 10 -- I maintain a pretty clear protocol on cell phones and dates....unless she is expecting an urgent call....and she has advised me of such........no calls will be tolerated.
I consider it to be very disrespectful.......if she picks up the phone to chat with a friend on a date........the date is over and so is she.
Clarity.....it's the only way to fly.


I could not have said this more CLEARLY and ELOQUENTLY myself.

Wonderful dissertation on cellphone etiquette!
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 29
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:07:51 PM


Msg: 14 -- "We just beat this topic to a pulp a month or so ago."
Some of us are new here and missed it.


For the record, I DO recall that previous post, and I commented on it. I don't remember the "Subject Title", but I remember the thread.

BUT, there were points on THIS thread that I felt compelled to comment on. Personally, I think this idea of "NO DUPLICATE THREADS" is pointless to enforce.

There are SOME things that are TOO important, and as such, their importance supercedes any legalistic technicalities.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 30
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:21:30 PM


Msg: 18 -- Do you find this Cellphone Interruptus Behaviour to be more prevalent in Males or Females?


I have noticed it to be more prevalent in the YOUTH, younger than 30.

This hasn't happened on a date, at least not yet. But in the grocery stores, I notice it frequently among the younger folk. Someone is next up to pay for their purchases, the cell rings, they answer, they are TOTALLY distracted by the call, take forever to get off the phone, and disrespectfully delay EVERYONE else in line who also would like to make purchases of their own.

Regarding disrespectful cell use; has anyone noticed that in MANY business establishments they FORBID cell usage? The reason they do this is simply BECAUSE of the RAMPANT LACK of COURTESY regarding such usage.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 31
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/2/2008 3:38:59 PM


Msg: 28 -- My suggestion? As soon as the other party's off the phone, haul out your own phone (or BlackBerry) and start talking or texting.


Sorry, I don't do "tit for tat". If she chooses to be rude in the midst of a date, I will end it right there. If it is NOT an emergency, whether I'm finished eating or not, whether she is finished eating or not, I pull the plug. We DEPART NOW. "Get up, woman, our date is ENDED!!!! I am taking you HOME!!!!" I pay the bill, leave the tip, and go. If she chooses to accompany me at that point, I will take her home. If not, I will simply leave.
 kalamazooger
Joined: 7/1/2007
Msg: 32
view profile
History
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/11/2008 5:03:02 PM

If you were meeting her at the mall you should have waited for her in the mall, not greeted her at her car. I'd probably freak out a little bit if the guy approached my car before I was out of it... often I want to do a last minute touch up before I get out of the car, take a deep breath, and then put on my smile.


I guess I wasn't clear about that. We were meeting AT the mall parking lot in order to decide where to go. We had run through various options, but decided to see what the weather was like. So in this case, we were intending to "find" each other. I was working to find her, and she just didn't seem interested. That led to mutual disinterest, I guess.

I guess we've beat this to death. It sounds like there ARE reasons it's ok to be seen talking on a cell, but it is reasonable to expect do the call end when we meet in someone in person. Thanks to all.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 33
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:35:06 AM

I guess I wasn't clear about that. We were meeting AT the mall parking lot in order to decide where to go. We had run through various options, but decided to see what the weather was like. So in this case, we were intending to "find" each other. I was working to find her, and she just didn't seem interested. That led to mutual disinterest, I guess.

In this particular case I really am not sure if you were right to feel it was improper or not. You met her at her car before she was ready to meet up with you. She may have thought that you were the rude or impolite one for approaching her before she was ready. Unless she was running late then I don't think she did anything wrong, she wasn't even out of her car yet. I personally resent people that push me to do things before I'm prepared.
 imalitltpot
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 34
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:34:33 PM
As to the meet in the parking lot, she was wrong. This was HIS time; time they arranged to be together. When she saw him approach the car she should have hung up -- or at least waited to confirm it was him, and THEN hung up immediately.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 35
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:43:06 PM

This was HIS time; time they arranged to be together. When she saw him approach the car she should have hung up -- or at least waited to confirm it was him, and THEN hung up immediately.

Wow, that's a pretty selfish attitude to take. His time did not start the second he saw her, she is not something he owns and on top of that she hasn't even ever met him before. The person on the phone with her wasn't entitled to their time with her either? I seriously doubt she described her car to him and told him to look for her in it. That would be a pretty unsafe thing to do. It was not HIS time until the date began, which is pretty safe to assume starts AFTER she gets out of the car to look for him, the date did not begin the second he spotted her pull into the parking lot. He intruded on her time and her personal space. How she manages her time before the date begins is her business and not his and he has no right to make demands or be upset. From the sounds of it he started the date before she was ready. I would have made him wait too, I do the same thing to people that start stalking my parking space before I have even got completely into my car. I pick up the phone and make a call just because they did in fact try to control me and make me do things faster than I liked.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:22:29 PM
It seems as though the cell phone has become a necessary evil in today's society. Seems as though everyone has one stuck to their ear. I'm not so sure that they aren't addicted to cell phone usage. I work with people like this. They walk around with them strapped to their belts like a needed firearm on an law enforcement official and are the quickest "draws" in the "west" when it rings. Or lying on a table at meal time. and they "pounce" on it like a cat on a mouse. And it irritates me to no end. But that's just my opinion.

If on a date, he would talk on a cell phone it would be over at that precise moment. There's only one exception........if it was an emergency and his house was on fire or children hurt. There are usually caller ID's involved with ownership of a cell phone and voicemail. What in the world did we all do before society became dependant on cell phones. I find it as rude as call waiting.
 pandapuppy
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 37
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:27:21 AM
I have a couple of rules myself about the good old cell phone. I still like to think that going on a date is between 2 people...not your whole contact list. I turn my phone off, and enjoy my time. It's amazing, but one of the features is call answer....use it! If you must see who called you, excuse yourself and go to the washroom. There is nothing on this earth that shattering that can't wait. Granted, I don't have kids....but if they are that young...you should have someone experienced enough looking after them. Elderly parents, you can get back to them, they'll understand. The date only usually lasts a couple of hours....if you're lucky!! Mine wouldn't last that long if he kept answering his phone....I can do that at home myself!
 JohnnyDeppsTwin
Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 38
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:02:25 PM
I hate that, too. It's not always that they aren't interested in you - usually it's because the person doesn't have good manners.

When I'm on a date, I turn my ringer off and only check voicemails when I'm free. It's just common courtesy.
 Sacred_Cows
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 39
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:48:14 AM
There is a forum" red flags" or something similar, and there are a couple of women on there that feel if you shut off your phone, leave it in the car, or silence it you are hiding something.
I find that attitude troubling. I would no more talk to someone else on the phone while on a date than I would check out the waitresses body.
I often leave my phone in the car or turned off.
I have a cell for my convenience not anyone else's.
I have no desire to be tethered to a wireless leash.
There are times when it is inconvenient to, or I would rather not talk.
I guess I am old fashioned but I got along without a cell phone for most of my life. My guess is I can get along with out one for a few hours on a date. If my date can't well there won't be a second date.
 Sacred_Cows
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 40
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:51:54 AM
Classact
I read your comments. All that I can say is an appropriate name.
 jj6364
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 41
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 11/11/2008 10:18:06 AM
I usually make a point to turn mine on vibrate in front of my date and explain that I only have it in case the kids burn the house down, and any other call can wait till later. I expect the same curiosity from my date unless they are on call from work. Anything else, I would consider rude on there part!
 Romany.
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 42
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 11/11/2008 12:15:46 PM
That's really rude! If it was an important call, sure, answer it. But just to chat? No! She was on a date!
 Notgivingup2011
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 43
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:30:05 PM
I thread searched and this one is old, however, here it is.. I hate cell phones, I hate texting and even more, I hate to hear it ringing while I am out for dinner. I even broke off a friendship bcuz when I would visit or her and I would do lunch, the entire time she would be texting, answering it or reading something. So ****ing rude. My cell is used for emergencies and when I am out, it is OFF. I understand people with kids and have sitters etc, there are always exceptions.

You are not being old fashioned kalamazooger...and I know this post was 4 yrs ago!! HAHA
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 44
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:40:33 PM
The last 2 times I saw a friend who I hardly see anymore, she did this. In fact, she did this everytime I saw her in the last few years. Went around w/ a bluetooth on her ear, in case a guy from a dating site might be calling her. It did not bother me when she took a qwik call from one of her kids, but constant strangers calling & she seemed to drop whatever she was doing...

We had dinner a few weeks ago, she kept looking @ her texts & checking them. If u r dating someone, they r not gonna dump u if u r out w/ a friend & u don't text them back the very 2nd they text u.

When I am seeing someone IF I am not busy when they call, I take the call. But if i am BUSY, unless it is an emergency, I do NOT interupt what I am doing to take a call.

I think there is a cell phone addiction & it is just plain rude & tacky. I do not bother w/ people like that.
 Notgivingup2011
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 45
cell phone/guest etiquette
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:30:35 PM
I can't believe people don't see it as rude. The entire time this ex friend and I were eating lunch, she made eye contact with me all of 5 minutes during that hour. She worked as an editor for a online website. I think it was volunteer, however, this was her excuse, it's work, can't miss anything. Ok I get that BUT take a break, have a meal and chat with the person you are sitting across from. Wow, was pissed off.
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