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 AUTHOR
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 60
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?

A personal Choice, nothing more, nothing less ...
 Mr O
Joined: 3/26/2005
Msg: 62
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2005 6:58:00 AM
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?

After going through many forums and reading how some people think,

DEFINITELY!!!
 BuzWeaver
Joined: 6/25/2005
Msg: 65
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2005 8:31:17 PM

Besides nuns and priest do you think some people are never meant to find someone?


Not even Nuns or Priest are meant to be alone, human beings are social beings.
 always_striving
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 67
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2005 4:23:13 AM
It's mainly their own problem, I had a former girlfriend that said she was single for years and that was o.k. with that.

My thoughts are: You have some kinda lunacy issues chick. I am sure she is once again enjoying her singularity ........odd one out to be forgotton. There are plenty-O-fish out there that want the company of another, me being one of course.
 vastly amused
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 70
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2005 4:35:27 AM
I think "Do you think some people are meant to be LEFT alone?" would be more to the point!
 Wise_Monk
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 71
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Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2005 11:54:21 AM
The idea that there is "someone for everyone" is something we tell people to make them feel better, but when we dissect that thought, it becomes clear that it simply can't be true.

For starters, its mathematically impossible. There are more Women than Men. And in places where the numbers are different, there is never an equal number. I'm not taking into account same sex relations, but I'm straight so its not my concern or intent to concern you with it.

Do you know what we are really meant to do? We're meant to live; there are no guarantees on how that life will shape up, and its foolish for us to think that we are somehow entitled to any.

There have been countless people over Human history who never found a mate, and there will always be others, and even more as the population continues to grow. In actuality our problems are mostly made by people who have no business being together, having children, raising them wrong and creating another generation of fools just like them. The least of our problems are people who keep to themselves.
 viceguy2
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 74
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:19:22 PM
Yes...some are called to the religous life as the author stated, others are called to marriage, and still some are called to single life...I think a subtext of this thread could be the issue of being lonely rather than alone...there is a difference...

Furthermore, a relationship requires effort, selflessness, and sacrifice to which some have no intentions of ever offerring to another person
 smudboy
Joined: 2/10/2005
Msg: 75
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 1:28:35 PM
Nuns and priests are some sexy ****es.

I mean, they get to wear all the cool clothes, devote themselves to helping people, and chant Saint's names for whatever reason.

I want me one, just to have around the house. You know, bless dinner and poop.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 79
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History
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/7/2005 7:29:27 PM
I don't think anyone is predestined to do anything. We all make our own choices in life and react to adversities in our own ways. I will be alone by choice. If I didn't want to be alone, I could change that rather easily. We are all what we make of ourselves.
 always_striving
Joined: 7/18/2005
Msg: 85
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/28/2005 7:57:19 PM
This is purely a matter of choice. No one will know you exist unless you let it be known. Not inacting or making some attempt to get noticed is not going to have someone knocking on your door saying: "Where have you been all my life". You are making personal choices that you will live with forever. I don't feel that there is any reason to feel sorry for one who does not strive for the things which can better thier life. They either don't care or have some kind of mental disorder. Live and let live.

BTW I do care about my choices.
 bennie7
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 86
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 9/5/2005 5:30:00 AM
I don't agree with this theory that we (in all cases) choose, or bring things on, ourselves.

I think it's a popular pop-psych theory that allows us to blame the victim. That way, we can (a) not waste sympathy on them; (b) not help them (and not feel guilty about it); and (c) keep denying what we don't want to believe: that bad things just do happen to good people.

I am a woman who's been able to reach every goal I ever set for myself -- professionally, because you can influence that. But personally, all I've done is exhausted myself trying.

I was married at 23, and separated at 35, and have two children. The breakup counsellor said, "you'll do fine...you've got everything going for you. This is just the beginning.'

Well, it was the beginning......of the end. I'm now 45. I have worked, done volunteer work, been involved in politics and my children's school and extracurricular activities, tried Internet dating and singles events, dated existing friends.....and through it all, the best I've done was a nine-month relationship with a man (I think he was a commitmentphobe) who dumped me cruelly earlier this year...vanished without a trace, just weeks after saying he wanted a future with me.

I've had a few short relationships, always with men who suddenly ran when the going was good and took me, oblivious and happy as a clam, by surprise. And there have been a few men who wanted to date me though I wasn't interested in them.

I don't buy the "subconscious choice" theory, either -- I don't think I subconsciously choose commitmentphobes. When you're 45 and a man comes along about as often as a comet or a meteor, you don't "choose." You cross your fingers and take a chance.

It bothers me to hear people say, "why is X still single? What's wrong with him/her?" There's nothing wrong with me -- I'm attractive, smart, funny, fun to be with...vivacious, even... loving, kind, etc. I want more than anything to find a loving partner and have a meaningful relationship before I die. And I have tried everything.

And still I am alone.

Maybe I'm doing something terribly wrong, or the desperation is written all over my face. But there's one thing I know for sure: I did not choose this for myself.
 delite99
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 88
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/2/2008 4:24:55 AM
I have hoped so long to meet someone. I am just loosing hope now...
 JohnsAtaraxy
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 91
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/2/2008 2:09:21 PM
I like being alone. I stay home every weekend and occupuy myself with movies, video games, and my streetbike...No bs in my life.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 95
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History
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:09:47 PM
You know, at first I would have disagreed, but as I get older and sometimes wiser, I've started to realize, that some people truly ARE better off alone...

There are times when I wish for companionship, but then there are times when being alone has been proven to be more rewarding.

I have learned the value of setting a goal, or even expectations, and not faltering from the plans that are made. An example of this would be settling for someone who is not Exactly what you are wanting, just for the fact that it would end the being alone part.

Me, on the other hand... I don't feel that there is anything wrong with being alone, and sometimes I have found that I can laugh with myself and have been a better friend to myself, than some of my best friends are.

I can't say that I'm being "too picky" in my search, just that I refuse to settle, and until I meet the right person, I've got NO problems being alone, and that I figured I'd use this 'quiet' time, to achieve a few more of my goals, until the right mate does happen to come along...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 kanyonatic
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 107
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History
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/3/2008 9:52:08 AM
yes i do i believed for years that i was meant to be alone as anyone who wants to be with me has to be patient as i have been alone for a long time. i also feel confident in relationships and tend to end up with people who are not confident and that causes problems most relationships dont get off the ground. when i realise i know i'm comfortable the other person has doubts which causes me to have doubts a little. but yes i do believe some people are meant to be alone.
 pwny
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 122
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:52:45 AM
Yeah some people are meant to be alone. Thats why they fight over in iraq, best place for singles.
 Raymond2009
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 125
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:43:28 AM
I am starting to think i am better off alone to be honest. Not having much luck. Sometimes makes me wonder whats wrong with me ya know.
 Commonsens
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 127
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:53:53 AM
There is "alone" and "alone".

Aside of all that have been already mentioned here; there is another type: the narcissistic extroverted ones (inside of the behavioral/personality disorder scheme)

Those are people who cannot live without others but are incapable to have a close and unique relationship with one person (partner). As their own universe is only centered on themselves, they see any concessions or even the smallest boundaries as an attack to their "freedom" and see everything as a form of control. The partner become an enemy, a "road block", an imaginary restrain; that kind of person are incapable to see that they have a problem and see any partners as the focus of all of their problems.

They will crave friendship and be extra social as they will obtain temporarily all that they want, be able to "throw" away any one that do not 'fit" their criteria or do need too much of their "attentions" or real work and will simply "switch" friendship" depending of their current needs or "wants".
This way they think that they do not have to do any "work", get the instant gratifications they need, have their ego flattered as "friends" generally do not tell it 'as is" but will "side with" them without questioning (patronize/condenscending) ...plus all the material bonuses in some case (party hang out); never seeing that it is only a "dodge".

This extra socialization is only a placebo to palliate to a complete lack of empathy of a close party and an inability to make changes or concessions; a fear to "see" whom they really are and face the problem as a partner will reveal whom they really are to them as the partner can see behind the "public" image...and see the "private" and real image. Also that a partner expect equality and reciprocity....which N.E people are never willing to accept or give, fully or partially.

Some of them will even be able to be in a relationship for a couple of year, but only if they control everything and even then, most of those years will be "roller coasters" with always a dramatic ending; but they will always blame the partner to be the cause and never admit or see that they are the primarily reason of the problem as their own actions created a reaction only (their cannot be a reaction without an initial action!!! this they do not understand)

Will that kind of person ever change? Yes only if they can be showed their ways, get out of their "bubble" and start to take responsibilities for their actions; and when they see that their admittance have no bad side effects on them but in fact have positive effect on all, a chain reaction of opening, acceptance, tolerance and empathy is then created.

Clarity and happiness is then truly enjoyed.
 Murf167
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 129
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/5/2008 1:58:05 PM
While I don't believe in the concept of 'meant to be' as though it were fated, I do think some people are just going to end up alone. Whether they're happier this way or not doesn't really enter into the equation.
 BobJ1960
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 133
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History
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:06:23 PM
Judging by the lack of success I've had on POF I'd say yes. I guess women just don't take to me.Not just here but in life. I didn't get married until age 35,been divorced 5 years and had nobody since.
 *Eiledon*
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 134
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 3/17/2008 3:01:15 AM
Yes, I certainly do!

Anyone who habitually lies, even (and especially) to themselves, can never truly be happy with themselves, so how can they be happy with anyone else?

Any relationship such a person enters is doomed unless they address their own underlying problems.
 BobJ1960
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 135
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History
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 5/6/2008 12:47:09 PM
I must add too that I am trying. As well as going out, trying singles groups and opening up more.Obviously they don't come to you(at least to me they don't.)

But as far as dating websites, sending messages and getting no responses is what's happening with me. Not receiving messages as well. I really don't know what it is that women are looking for.
But getting back to the Format,I on second thought don't think man is meant to be alone. Nor is it good. Even the in the Bible it says that.(Genesis 2:18)
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 136
Do you think some people are meant to be alone?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:18:58 AM

Do you think some people are meant to be alone?

Apparently so, I know more people out of relationships than in. That must mean something.
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