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 AUTHOR
Are men really this simple?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I think the formula might even be reduced to one word, respect, because if there is respect the other things will follow.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 6
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:34:25 PM
people are this simple. Our core human need is for acceptance and understanding.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 7
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:42:52 PM
OP, while I do agree with the author that we have basic needs (and women as well...imagine that), I do not agree that these are "The Three". They may be for some. Might not be for others....might be a combination of these and others for yet someone else.

The part of your premise I take exception to is, "then men will pretty much give you anything you want, and do it gladly." It may just be the wording, but what I take from this statement, is the old 'give to get' / 'tit for tat' philosophy. IOW, if your partner isn't particularly attentive in the admiration aspect for a while, you will consequently withhold giving in return. This becomes a dangerous cycle which, if not broken, will more than likely lead to the demise of the relationship.

As I said, I believe it is crucial to the relationship to fulfill each other's needs. But to suggest doing so in order to receive....getting your needs met....can be a slippery slope to navigate. Certain periods of the relationship will be give-give, give-take or take-give....that is expected. But overall, a healthy balance is required for both to feel (at any particular moment) loved and respected.

When you reach the point where you give because you love your SO and not as a result or expectation of receiving something in return, you will be amazed what comes back to you.


~ds~
 martymar0000
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 8
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:44:28 PM
Well there's also conversation, mental stimulation, ability to entertain us, make us laugh, among other things.

I think that's overly simplistic in the sense that it's saying we'd be content with a Stepford wife. A woman can give me those three things listed, but if she can't give me pleasant conversation or lacks a sense of humor, she won't keep me very long.

I think those things could form a basis for a successful relationship but it's not the only three things we need from women.

From what I get from this, you're (or the author is...) saying the woman is the one who decides whether or not the relationship will work. It's implying that she holds the key to it's success by providing those 3 basic things for men.

That is inherently wrong because it implies that men are the takers and women will be giving (affection, appreciation, admiration) because they want something back in return (us to give them pretty much anything they want). Some of us need other things to complete a relationship. A woman can show affection to a man, appreciate him providing for her, admire his past accomplishments, yet still have no respect for him because he cheated on her. Without that respect the relationship will fail.

Your post has SOME truth, but it's not the WHOLE truth. We need those things, but we also need others as well. We are not so simple to just do anything for a woman because of those things.

As I think about it, they can also be expressed in friendship. A warm hug (affection), A card to say thank-you (appreciation), praise for getting a promotion (admiration). In a relationship, we want those things and more and women aren't the only ones to hold the keys to a successful relationship. We are not that simple and we're just as responsible for the success of a relationship just as much as they are.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 12
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:19:42 PM
Oh, I really do hope that some guys answer this one! Would love to know how the male mind works!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those three things, and everything else, are very important.
 Obsidius
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 14
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:21:15 PM
I believe men are very complex to women and vice versa. That's why there's the whole theme to the term "Social Dynamics" between men and women. Speaking of which
guys and gals should listen to this sometime:
www.pickuppodcast.com
there's a ton of answers there
this isn't spam either, just dropping the science on the matter
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 27
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:06:10 AM
No, men are even simpler.
Like stray dogs, you feed us and pet us and we'll hang around.
Stop feeding us and petting us and we go away.
Women still can't figure that out.
 iamdjnme
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 29
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:07:51 AM
I really think everyone is different, so are these simple things the precursor to what would make someone happy.I would say sure, but to say that this is all one person needs I don't think so.

Humans are just so different on a person to person basis.Lets say that these things are all one needs.Then I would have to question at what levels of these things does each person need?Some might be more needy in certain area's than another. my 2 cents
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 30
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:18:27 AM
I thought you just had to turn up naked and bring beer..........

???
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 42
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:58:00 AM
^^ LMAO... perhaps that's why the core human needs are Acceptance and Understanding
...more letters of the alphabet between them, and very few outside of them.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 45
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:34:29 AM
^^^ "Men think women are soooo hard to understand that there’s no point in even trying to understand them. Women tend to assume that men are so easy to understand that there is no need to even try to understand them."

I wouldn't concern myself with the entire opposite gender....only one person of that gender....my SO. What makes her tick, what gets her juices going, what irritates her, what makes her laugh, what makes her giggle (there IS a difference), her views, her interests....only way to accomplish that is through an open & honest relationship with a lot of 'active' communication (listening as well as speaking). These things will be different for her vs. the next lady....so there's no need to try to understand the next lady in this depth and breadth.

If anyone believes there is a blanket explanation or definition or adjective to what matters most to each of us as individuals, regardless the gender, they are in for an awakening.

But, that's JMO.


~ds~
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 46
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:34:34 AM
You think?????.......

Maybe that is why we have so many problems out there in the dating world, and with relationships.........to many generalize to often about to many things........

OT......Men are neither simple nor easy, just as women are neither ****es nor fickle............

If there is one generalization that could be made about the genders, it would be that men like to solve problems, and women like to cause them...........

I think that we tend to simplify each other way to much instead of looking at the other as just the same as you are, just with a different background, life style, and attitude about how we get from point A to B. Never underestimate either gender and their abilities, and you will be in a much better position to be successful......

Just my opinion.......
 ShadowLands
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 52
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:51:25 AM
Some men are simple. Some are complicated. Certain authors play on social stereotypes to sell their books. They realize there is an entire caucus of females out there who are so simple-minded they will buy these books and claim them as gospel. Then.....they tell the friends in the "women's-help group" about this book. Guess who buys the book next?

Fortunately, there are women who have functional intelligence and do not subscribe to such stereotypes.

I come complete with a full list of complications.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 53
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:00:10 AM
I wouldn't concern myself with the entire opposite gender....only one person of that gender....my SO. What makes her tick, what gets her juices going, what irritates her, what makes her laugh, what makes her giggle (there IS a difference), her views, her interests....only way to accomplish that is through an open & honest relationship with a lot of 'active' communication (listening as well as speaking)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think this guy hit the nail (er - fenale) on the head. Are all you single guys with the
smartass answers paying attention? -----------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------
it's the lack of recognition...it's the lack of *validation*... it's that feeling that no matter what you do or say, it's never enough.
It would be a LOT easier to believe that if they didn't ask for more money each time they go on strike.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that guy makes a good point....but it won't help him get laid (or a date, if he's different than all the rest.....).
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 56
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:16:03 AM
Ah! I wish. Think of all the times you did that (women). And all the times it didn't work (for the men). What I will agree to is that if the relationship is *otherwise* working, failure of any of the three will jinx it.

I was in a *thing* last summer, and all three were going both ways, plus a lot more. It simply wasn't enough to bulldoze the rest out of the way. We are now, and prolly always will be, very good friends. And oh alas and too bad -- that's life.


 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 57
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 10:24:26 AM



Like lion taming, you reinforce the good behavior, and ignore the bad behavior.



I’ll be sure to remember this the next time I’m out on a date with Clyde Beatty.

Or a lion...
Cindy O
 TheRealBigschmo
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 59
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:52:12 AM

Posted By: ambitious_slacker on 3/31/2008 914 PM
Subject: Are men really this simple?
Message: Msg 1,

Men want to be mothered? .. I'd buy that ..

Would it be the same for women? .. do women want to be fathered? ..


I've had a few call me 'daddy'
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 60
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 11:56:48 AM
You forgot one more thing.

Room.


Men also need room for their "guy time" or go to the gym time, or play in the mud time. It doesn't matter. When a woman understands that, then the together time becomes quality time.
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 63
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 12:07:48 PM
sex and food..i have to agree
 Lucky_Vet
Joined: 3/27/2005
Msg: 67
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:09:07 PM
Absolutely YES to both in 90% of the cases.

9/10 women marry up, and 9/10 men marry down for these exact reasons.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 68
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:48:35 PM
Although I've overused it this week, my credo is:
Life is simple, it's people who make it complicated.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 77
Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:19:36 AM
Both men and women will sabotage everything they have to achieve one objective. And that is reproductive success. We may not know it consciously, but we do at a subconscious level. Now, even though we both seek the same thing, we go about it differently because of the vested interest we have to protect that reproductive seed. Men, have a ton of seed, so we want to spread it around as fast as possible. That is why men seek younger women, tend to be players and don't want to settle down. Women have One seed at the time. So she wants to find the best genes and someone who will stay next to her while that seed becomes their reproductive success. That is why women seek partners, want to settle down, yet still fall for players.

Men and women will sabotage logic for the above mention instincts. Now, don't get me wrong. Not everybody is like that, but look at why you fell in love with someone, or stayed in a relationship for so long and at the root these instincts were at play.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 81
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/7/2008 8:28:13 PM
Okay, I learned something here tonite....I knew about the Affection and Appreciation, but must admit I forgot about Admiration...I would not have guess that as one of the 3 needed things..Gee guess that where I have been missing the boat...

I suppose I've known some men I have admire, but I must admit it is rare when I run across one that I truly truly admire...I can think of one fellow that I had big crush on and I did truly admire him alot...it was his work ethics and determination and dedication I admired..and his self discipline...I suppose those may be odd things to admire by some, but for some reason I loved those personality traits in him...
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 83
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Are men really this simple?
Posted: 4/20/2008 12:35:16 AM
Men are not simple. That's feminist garbage in yet another attempt to dominate and humiliate men. If it's something Dr Laura has said then it pretty much puts the stamp of idiocy on it instantly so men should just ignore it.
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