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 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 112
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stablePage 3 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
It's not a whole lot of fun living in the poor house when there's just not enough $$ to pay all the bills. I've never been in that position, but I do know some folks who live beyond their means. The interest they pay alone on their over-extended credit cards boggle my mind, but they simply pretend it's a fact of life, so long as they can buy whatever they want. Smart? Not to my way of thinking, so no thanks. I'm better off being on my own, but then the economy in Canada is booming.

Pink
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 115
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/12/2008 10:28:53 AM
firebird....

My last boyfriend didn't have anything.... he was BROKE! But I loved him.... enough that we struck up a bargain.... he would work on my house and I would help him financially.

I don't have a problem with a guy who, for whatever reason, fell on hard times. What I have a problem with is a guy who takes advantage of my giving nature. I think once someone does that, it makes you not necessarily trust anyone who really in a bind, so you shy away from that.

Sharzi
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 118
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:47:32 AM
^^^^^ Yes, and he also conveniently overlooked
1 Timothy 5:8: But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is WORSE than an infidel.
AND,
2 Thessalonians 3:10 ....that if any would not work, NEITHER should he eat.


There are literally dozens of references to good "stewardship".....which refers specifically to financial responsibility. The OPs rant sounds strangely reminicient of the serpent's speech...."hath God REALLY said ( that you will die)???"

It's just truly bizzare that anyone would advocate financial instability as a lofty goal...and then try to pass it off as a Christian ideal? Sound more to me like his goal is to attempt to discredit Christianity...not to promote any portion of it. I see his next rant being something along the lines of...."If God loved you, then why are you poor?" Please also note that "stability" does NOT mean "wealth"...it simply means that you live within your means. I know of many "poor" people who are FAR more financially stable than a lot of millionaires.

No, very clearly this is just a pity thread looking for reinforcement for being lazy and irresponsible.
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 121
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/12/2008 12:52:07 PM
Maybe be best to leave organized religion out of the topic at hand because it can be a bit touchy subject for many. Not to mention that half the stuff in the Bible so revered by western religion is based on lies. They don't even acknowledge all the gospels written by some of the other disciples who are just as credible as the others because they tend to contradict what the main focus would be. Every religion trying to claim they are the "only way" to God and that all others, no matter how well intentioned, are going to fall short. And the religions have to insist by any means necessary that they are the "right" and "only" way or else they would not be able to justify their existance as an organization, even going to extreme lengths such as murder to justify their "rightness" which most all of them do...

Doesn't help that the US is about in another depression pretending to fight a war by joining in a civil war that has been going on over 700 years in the middle east. Most of that money the government claims that is being sent to fund the war never even made it to us troops out there. It ended up going to private companies so they can make their war profits. The average couple has to both work just to make enough money to be broke by the end of the week. And society wants to encourage everyone to believe that if you do not officially work earning an income, that somehow you are less of a person. What about the stay at home parents that take care of the kids? Why should they be viewed as less of a person? Just saying it would be wiser if people didn't begin their relationships basing them on the financial worth of the other person.... which usually seems to be right at the top of the list of values people look at to evaluate a relationship. After all, such beliefs in the US alone have led to a 50% divorce rate with 49% of the time at least one of them has cheated at least once on the other. So if the current beliefs have lead to such, they don't seem to be helping out much and actually doing just the opposite, then maybe it's time to change them...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 122
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/12/2008 1:28:21 PM
There is no such thing as a "soulmate." People have things in common.

It is just as easy to have things in common with a financially stable person as it is with a non-financially stable person.

It is absolutely untrue that two can live as cheaply as one (do people say that anymore?), and love will NOT pay the rent.

But for young people (and I am not young), I would suggest that one consider the possibility of financial security in the future. College students are usually not monetarily stable, but there is the expectation that someday, they will no longer be students and will have jobs.
 feedem
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 124
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:09:41 AM
Re: It is absolutely untrue that two can live as cheaply as one (do people say that anymore?), and love will NOT pay the rent.

No......but they say "it takes two incomes"

Love might help keep the two incomes together.....thus contributing to paying the rent.

Maybe stepping back to one income and a more home centered lifestyle would be more civilized than the current hectic pace........home cooked meals, games around the card table, table tennis, bingo, Yatzee......etc.......

But then we are all to materialistic.....the need to keep up with the neighbors....a new wide screen TV, Two SUV's, Boat, Motor home, New leather jacket, Guess jeans, tickets to the concert, Golf club membership, Pedicure, Starbucks.....the list is endless.....
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 125
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:21:02 AM
Grandma BB you rock and I might add, made similar arguments much better than I. Some people are introduced to information and start spouting it when they do not have any real understanding of the concepts or the arguments to back it up.

In reading many of the reposts I suspect that the OP's problem is less his financial situation keeping him from finding a soulmate, it is that women do not want to be with a man who has a horribly negative and hateful attitude toward anyone that disagrees with his opinion. Intellectual development requires an open mind sorely lacking in the OP, who by the way wouldn't understand the concept of a soulmate if it bit him on the butt.

Additionally, every word he has spoken is indicative of an individual who is not responsible or accountable and wants to blame his circumstances on everyone but himself and also assumes that anyone who does not swoon at his feet, suitably impressed by his intellect and deep emotional well, is a slut and/or a fuking biatch.

Where do I sign up, um no.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 127
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 6:39:19 PM
My daughter and her S/O have been together for nearly 8 years, they have a three year old child. My daughter won't marry him because she says he has a bad credit rating and he hasn't taken care of his past student loans. ~me scratching my head~ And I gave birth to this girl, it must be in the genes, because until recently, as her mother I was thinking along these lines too........Hell, now that I think deeper on the subject, I'd just be glad if, when, I locate my special someone that it would be nice if he just HAD a job this day and time from the looks of it........~tilts head~
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 128
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 7:36:39 PM

spending time looking down on them because they won't spend their time constantly dishing out money to you to buy stuff you really don't need


Again, not the point. It's not that people are saying they require extravagant lifestyles. What we are saying is that if a person is broke because he is unwilling or unable to be responsible with his cash then he's not a good bet for a mate. The soul lives in a body that still needs to eat and have shelter and if a man (or woman) squanders money on frivolities instead of stepping up to the plate, that's not a person who's going to be a mate to anybody's soul.
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 129
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 9:40:14 PM




spending time looking down on them because they won't spend their time constantly dishing out money to you to buy stuff you really don't need


Again, not the point. It's not that people are saying they require extravagant lifestyles. What we are saying is that if a person is broke because he is unwilling or unable to be responsible with his cash then he's not a good bet for a mate. The soul lives in a body that still needs to eat and have shelter and if a man (or woman) squanders money on frivolities instead of stepping up to the plate, that's not a person who's going to be a mate to anybody's soul


I was refering to how they place too much value in financial. I don't know about you but around the places I've been in my life, most the woman seem to put financial right at the top when they determine your compatability. There's plenty of women I know who has used guys to acquire some financial too, pretending to care for the guy, until the guy either leaves or starts saying no with the money handouts. But spending time making judgements about someone else, trying to find any and ever means possible to justify that they should be this or that is only a projection on them of your own "faults". Trying to get them to manipulate/control them to be someone else just to suit personal needs. Spending so much time trying to see what they can get out of a relationship instead of what can be put into it like it was meant to be. Going into a relationship needing anything like that is going to cause trouble and guaranteed to end the relationship. But since focusing on such things is what has lead many people to sights like these, just thought maybe something different would work since the current mainstream beliefs seem not to be helping much...
 faithnoman
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 130
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:12:53 PM
This is easy - for some people, "soulmate" means a lot of money and very good looks.(shallow people)

For others, it means a little less money(but responsible with it), attraction of some sort, a "connection", and love.("real" people)

Still, for others it means "enough to get by", attraction of some sort, a definite "connection" to each other, and love.(these people also exist in real life)


Even though the last group of people I mentioned make way less than the first, they have a lot more going for them. The middle group probably represents what most of the people here are really looking for...so nobodies really wrong here.

If I see a girl who is looking for someone who is already "financially stable", I usually don't bother trying to talk to them - their mind is already made up.
I think they are missing a great catch in the long run in some instances, but I understand why they say it.


- Chris
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 131
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/13/2008 10:44:04 PM
I do believe a soulmate is quite a bit different which has been thrown around more as a term of a person found to be able to have a serious relationship with. I believe I have found mine and we have been really close friends over the years. When you meet your soulmate for the first time there is suppose to be an overwhelming feeling of joy and a feeling of really knowing them like seeing someone you really care about after a long time apart even though you never met each other before. Then there is both of you being able to feel exactly what the other is feeling all the time, finding yourself finishing each other's sentences, etc. Only problem is her fear of loss has been keeping her from wanting to take a chance and go furthur than best friends with the relationship. It's like with many people, as soon as they can acquire something they really really want, fear of losing it often sets in. The same fear ends up making you say and do things out of character in an attempt to keep from losing it and the same fear makes you lose that very someone/something you treasure. So I personally don't believe it's a good idea to spend any time on all those what if's... So she's truly afraid of losing the relationship if she goes furthur.... Even tried to point out that the most successful serious relationships stem from good friendship....
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 132
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:34:47 AM

If I see a girl who is looking for someone who is already "financially stable", I usually don't bother trying to talk to them - their mind is already made up.
I think they are missing a great catch in the long run in some instances, but I understand why they say it.
At age 31, this comment makes perfect sense....you're still in "party til you puke" mode. Keep in mind however that you're looking for women who are in the "childbearing years", and are much more likely to see "stability" with a particular number attached to it.

The question however was NOT....how MUCH.....the question was about "STABILITY". A person can be in Intensive Care...about to die at any moment....and still be listed as "STABLE". It simply means...that there are no wild fluctuations of change. Economic stability means exactly the same thing. It's NOT how much...but rather the consistency. Financial stability means....do you work regularly.....NOT...do you work until your income tax refund comes in...then quit your job and have a good time until thats gone...then try to find another job.

Now, one more time for those of you who STILL do not get it! Stability is NOT wealth.
I have the theory that neither the extremely poor, NOR the extremely wealthy can exihibit true stability.....or the ability to budget their finances. When you have too little, it's already spent before you get it. When you have too much....you tend to be frivilous, don't consider the "what ifs", and give very little thought to your finances...thinking that it's a neverending supply that will never run dry. Financial stability occurs when you live within your means.....you pay your bills and have a little left over...but NOT enough to do EVERYTHING you think of.....just some of the things. Having to choose between...putting a new roof on the house...or buying a boat....these are the character building things that only those who have a sound sense of financial responsibility will understand. If you can afford neither...then there's no choice....if you can afford both.....then, there's no choice.
Rejecting a partner because they see being financial stability as a positive trait seems to me to be one of the most ridiculous things I've seen on this site!!!
 faithnoman
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 133
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:46:38 AM
grandmabooboo wrote:

At age 31, this comment makes perfect sense....you're still in "party til you puke" mode. Keep in mind however that you're looking for women who are in the "childbearing years", and are much more likely to see "stability" with a particular number attached to it.



Wow, try again.

I hardly ever drink - that pic was a rare occurrence of me at my 31st birthday(the one with them holding me up), and I've never really been into the whole partying thing.
 Musical Touch
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 135
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/14/2008 4:27:15 PM
WOW! Over a 170 responses to this question in 8 days!
Obviously this is a very HOT TOPIC that pushes all kinds of HOT BUTTONS for males and females alike!

OT: I've met two women in my 20 years of soul mate searching (my age is 57) who met "MY DEFINITION" of a SOUL MATE. Therefore in my eyes a soul mate is EXTREMELY RARE.

Of the two soul mates I dated "the one" who was NOT financially stable "in my eyes" presented and perceived herself as being my "financial superior". The huge irony here is that she saw me as being financially inferior yet BETWEEN THE TWO OF US SHE HAD:

*the greatest debt (NO house debt involved)...
*the poorer fico scores by more than 100 points...
*no credit cards (FYI: credit cards are one area that is "used to assess the credit worthiness of a person" hence no credit cards equates to a lower FICO score)...
*an upside down car loan...(upside down car loan means: the car blue book value is less than the debt owed to the lender)

Although I was willing to accept my soul mate and her financial status (apparently love can be BLIND) she had issues with her soul mate and his financial status...or more specifically that his job of 20 plus years "with the same employer" was part-time. Although I adore my job I needed to leave my secure job of 20 plus years and find a new "full-time" job to make more money if she was going to feel financially secure in our relationship.

Does job switching make sense in this job market? After 20 plus years at my part-time job I am the one who is better off financially than she is after 3 years at her current full-time job...making 3 times my income. YET I needed to get a better job!

In the end money WAS a major reason two soul mates parted...but it was
"the one with the greatest debt" who could not find financial comfort in a relationship with "the one that had the least debt".

Guys: her profile is on POF so apparently she is available for a financially secure man.

Ahh the never ending cycle of "love being exchanged for money"....some things will never change.
 dreamboat333
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 136
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:52:47 PM
Not that anyone will care, but a soul mate is a very specific definition with narrow parameters.

The author of the term soul-mate defined it as singular and we don't find them until we become spiritually activated... then we attract them to us as though magnitized.

Soul mates are over-rated, they will will back their karma over your dogma and hang their dharma over the shower rail.

If they don't have a FICO score over 760 then you must pray to the shrine of Prenuptia.
 Tigress
Joined: 4/11/2004
Msg: 139
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:32:16 PM
I think that when most people put in their profiles that they are looking for someone financially stable, they mostly just mean somebody with a steady income, with their own transportation, and somebody that was already taking care of themselves and being a big boy!

Nobody wants to go into a relationship where they would be adopting a whole set of problems worse than the ones they already have. Everyone wants to get with someone who will improve their life and make it better... not worse!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 144
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/15/2008 8:42:23 AM

Oh and the Bible also states "before you were born, I knew you" In Jeremiah I believe.
Correct, Jeremiah 1:5 to be exact.
OP, this is the problem with just picking out the parts that you like and ignoring the rest. The Bible ALSO says....
But seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and ALL these things shall be added unto you.
(Matthew 6:33) I see you keep changing your formula here. First, it's Abraham Maslow, then Nietzche, the Buddah....come one dude. It's simple Algebra here. You can't keep changing the value of "N" in the middle of your formula...and just remember...what every you do to ONE side of the equation, you must also do to the other!

You began the thread not fully understanding the definition of "soul mate" as defined by Webster, then frustrated by those who gave you the definition, you began calling us all a bunch of filthy names, now you're back quoting the Bible at us, and it just becomes painfully obvious that you're not nearly as well read as you pretend to be. You overlook things like....Matthew 7:9....what father gives his son a stone when the son asked for bread? or...2 Corinthians 6:14...be not UNEQUALLY yoked.

I strongly recommend that you pick a SOURCE as you see being a "authority" and understand it as thoroughly as possible before jumping into another. There's nothing wrong in being well versed and comprehending multiple doctrines, but you seem totally confused by the process.

Now, back to the TOPIC.....if your "soul mate" is not financially stable? IF financial "stability" is an issue.....a huge, insurmountable issue...one in which you and your "mate" totally disagree, and it causes problems that never seem to be resolved...then you are NOT "soul mates". The "problem" in most liklihood is NOT even financial. The problem is that there are many other areas in life that you're at odds about , but ones that people tend to ignore or severely minimize when there are enough toys (material considerations) to be distracted by. Either way, you're still looking at "money".... and ignoring the fact that it's all about ATTITUDE.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 150
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/15/2008 5:07:16 PM
I'm sick of this soul mate stuff; money and cheating are the reasons most relationships end.

You are really lost.

TITANIC WAS NOT A TRUE STORY; the love affair did NOT happen. In fact there was a Jack Dawson who was one of the workers that died in the sinking of Titanic and he had kids and a wife. Young teenage girls drop off flowers there. too funny; the family now has it privately cordoned off.

Jack Dawson, a fictional character in the 1997 film Titanic; from IMDB and Wikipedia

Wyatt Earp was married and cheated on his wife to be with Josephine. In his autobiography, Josephine was seen at times to be a prostitute, and even then she ended up selling all of her valuable jewelry because she was addicted to gambling. In the end they fought often and she tried to stop books showing what a bad relationship they had.

You need to get your head out of the clouds, start reading up on the truth and stop acting like real life is just like the movies. Look up what I've said and find out for yourself. If someone is totally messed up financially, it can destroy even the best of relationships. Its not about greed but reality. If someone wants a rich guy, yes its wrong. If someone wants a guy without a lot of financial baggage, its totally acceptable. Reality is not seen in the movies. good luck.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 151
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/15/2008 5:56:04 PM
I don't think I believe in soul mates. I do believe we are all connected, so in that regard all of humanity would be soulmates, albeit at some distance. But I find I am not inteested in devoting more than the odd :30 seconds to ponder it; truth is I won't know which is what until the day they throw dirt on my face.

Grandma Boo-Boo, although your point about the OP misusing some stuff (like Maslow) is well taken, I think he is fine to take a smorgasbord approach to this. Virtually all religion points to very similar concepts in love and soul. I agree that, if there is such a thing as a soulmate, that financial stuff isn't part of that connection. What makes a good partner, however, does rely on compatibility in a broad range of areas... including financial.

I've said in another thread that if my soulmate works at Starbucks (Second Cup for the Canadian content, Alex) I will be missing them in this lifetime. I've had a relationship with extremely unequal finances/assets and, based on that experience and others less extreme, have concluded love is not enough to sustain a great relationship over time. I was quite happy to sell my house and go live at his financial level. Although money wasn't the reason we split up, it was the source or excuse for all manner of stresses in our relationship... which did, with astonishing quickness, lead to the end.

Our worldly concerns and ego interfere with spirit. Until and unless one has grown in spiritual areas, the worldly areas will forever take you out at the knees.

I don't believe I am at all delusional when I say I seek balance.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 155
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/16/2008 7:38:32 AM

I was refering to how they place too much value in financial.


But that's not the discussion. This is not about 'rich man, poor man'. It's about 'can you get and hold a job and do you save money or blow it all on 'fun''.

It doesn't matter how much you make or what kind of job you have but how you manage the cash. I have saved money in every job I've had, no matter how humble, and I've been able to travel and do things I enjoy because of it. That's because I don't buy every new gadget that comes out, fancy cars, every piece of clothing I see, etc.

The last guy I was with made more than me but couldn't resist the urge to buy gadgets and goodies even when he had debt. I supported us for a year but he's still broke as far as I know. So it's not about the size of the salary, people. It's about being wise with whatever money you earn. The OP seems to think that he can act like an irresponsible kid and still deserve love from a 'soul mate'. That's just bogus. People who ask for 'unconditional love' are really saying 'I'm too lazy and irresponsible and selfish to learn to act like an adult so you will need to love me the way a parent loves a kid - no matter what kind of stupid thing I do and whether I ever try to improve or not'. No thanks. All this blather about 'soul mates' is a load of hooey geared to try to guilt people and we're not buying it because it's hogwash.

If you're a true 'soul mate' to someone, that means that person makes you want to be the best person you can possibly be for them, meaning being financially responsible, ethical, fair, etc.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 165
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:19:00 AM
Some of you have been watching too many movies; this "I'm blind to all the faults I see" bullcrap because you think they're your soul mate is childish.

What if they have gambling problems, or can't keep a job, or an addiction, or they are very irresponsible. What if money burns a hole in their wallet and they dont care what it costs to have the latest and greatest.

So you are saying all of the people with addictions and problems have no one to love them? I thought love conquers all?

Soul mate is another catch phrase that woman (and some men) love to use when they are with a bad person and they want to justify being with them. Men do it too but not as often. You can't save someone which so many women think they can do. They are with bad man and then think they get a pass because they are "soul mates" and they try to change them which doesn't work. After the train wreck they then say men are dogs, what a jerk he was, poor me, when they chose a terrible person because they have butterflies in their stomach. lol

We have the worst divorce rate in the HISTORY of any country (51%), and the rate of break up for people that live together is much higher. That means most Americans are making terrible decisions in their relationships. There are a lot of people that picked the wrong "soul mate" obviously.

Someone has to be whole to be in a relationship; if they aren't, they will eventually have problems or possibly break up. Whole means, mentally, emotionally and financially stable. Money and cheating are the reasons most people break up.

Do you have to be rich? no; do you have to have a lot of property or money? no; you do have to be responsible. I see many with 15-20K of debt just in credit cards and crap and they see no problem with that while they're buying the latest IPHONE and Coach bag.

Two whole and responsible people, make a whole relationship.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 167
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:57:29 PM
mthomjmark wrote:


*****Soul mate is another catch phrase that woman (and some men) love to use when they are with a bad person and they want to justify being with them. Men do it too but not as often. *****

You know, I've never once used that word, but you would not believe the countless men who have not only used it, but they have it right in their profiles. In fact, come to think of it, none of my friends use that word either.

Do a search for women, then for men and take a look at how many men you'll find using "soulmate." Might surprise you.

I don't think it's a "woman thing" at all.

Sharzi
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 170
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what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/23/2008 3:46:01 AM
Best to find out if youre a soulmate or infactuated if youre a SOULMATE I would definately find the Good stability that makes her have the qualities you want not be concerned with MONEY if you can get by. Will she lose her finances because of you or can you manage as a couple on your income.?
 nycdoctor
Joined: 8/2/2005
Msg: 171
what if your soul mate is NOT financial stable
Posted: 4/23/2008 6:18:35 AM
Love is never enough....is your soulmate is not financial stable...my advice is to RUN.
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