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 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 137
35, No Kids, Never MarriedPage 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

1.is he gay?
2.is he a pedophile?
3.what is he running from?
Rather stupid, and completely unfounded, assumptions to make of a person who you know nothing about.
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 139
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:26:14 PM
excuse me how would you know if MY assumptions were unfounded.
excuse me
Did you actually have any evidence that a person, who you may have been refering to, was gay, or a pedophile, or was running from something?

If you didn't have any evidence, your assumptions are unfounded.

"Pedophile" is a pretty serious accusation to claim of anyone if you have no basis for the accusation.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 141
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35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:08:48 AM
It's because we've looked forever but can't find a woman that's willing to commit or be faithful. Typical of women to flip it around to mean there's something wrong with the man though.
 OHBBWn2OTK
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 145
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History
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:12:48 PM
This forum has opened my eyes. I am wary of dating a man who is 40 something, never married and never had kids. Sometimes they want to start a family, when I am done having kids.

If a man is single, due to taking care of his parents, or was divorced after marriage, that tells me that he knows that any relationship is give and take. That is is okay to argue and still like someone. I think that is admirable.

However, I have met men who are single, never married and their longest relationship was nine months, a decade ago. That speaks of not understanding commitment, or not sticking around if things get a little messy. Messy happens.

A man who has never had kids doesn't usually understand the babysitter issue, is more free to be spontaneous, they don't understand the worries and the joys that come from being a parent. They don't understand the schedule conflicts involved, that kids might get sick while on a date, or that the kids' play is more important than a date. They don't have to set an example for impressoinable children.

I have been single a while, and I know that I am more set in my ways than I used to be. Single, unmarried, non parents tend to be selfcentered. And rightly so, they don't have others depending on them.
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 153
46, never married, no kids...
Posted: 7/6/2008 12:17:33 AM
46, never married, no kids, not broken, loving life, time flies, shit happens, no regrets.
 medic32506
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 155
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History
46, never married, no kids...
Posted: 7/6/2008 1:10:34 PM
wel I am with most of the guys... I am 35, never been married, and no children.. I am one that wants to start a family. Usually the women I have found cheat, or do not want to commit, cannot handle the schedule I work, or I am not the perfect man for them or so they think.... 1 date is enough to know if that person is perfect for them? that is interesting if it is.. I know it takes me a few dates to know if we are compatible...

medic
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 164
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:13:56 AM
I work in a retail store . I see moms leave the kids in the toy asle and go shopping else ware . sounds like a book " 35 no kids and never been married . "
 Dmana3172
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 166
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/4/2008 2:16:24 PM
I'm 35, never married, never met a girlfriend even when I was a teenager. Until I find that special someone who will come to me and pick me as the right person, I will never be married. I'm saddened and I just don't know what to do if there was someone at a eat out restaraunt or in shopping mall. I'm disabled since I have profound hearing loss, and I'm not sociable enough to communicate with other people. But yes, I do talk, and just to say hi and hi all the time.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 169
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35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:34:07 PM
I've been told by some (mostly single moms) that men who reach their mid thirties and and don't have kids and/or have never been married are by definition, commitment-phobes. Since I'm in my mid thirties, don't have kids, and haven't been married, I've been told that I have what constitutes a dating handicap

I'm 47 and have no kids and never married. Perhaps it's not commitment-phobia (per se) but rather a level-headed decision not to marry just anyone that comes along simply to comform to a societal "norm". Think divorce statistics.

Some men believe single moms are damaged goods as they aren't the godsend (to relationships) they want to think they are. What man in their right mind would raise another man's kid??

If we're a "dating handicap", then single moms are financial handicaps.
 vdubdavo
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 171
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:43:41 PM
Personally I think people rush into things way too quick.
I know people who have been married multiple times, it seems like they never learn or want the easy out when things get tough.

I cant speak for anyone else but I was taught that marriage was a union before God and is to be taken as the ultimate commitment.
I am 41 and have never been married nor do I have children. However its not for fear of commitment or kids. It is the respect that I have for that commitment that tells me to keep searching until both my heart and my head tell me I have found the "one".
 Kat0219
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 172
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35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/4/2008 7:37:19 PM
It has been proven more & more that people just don't have any time.

Everyone is waiting longer to get married and/or have families. They are either focusing on their career or education.

Many years ago you would have 3 kids by now. But now, maybe one.

You’re doing ok.

Besides, it's not an age thing, it's a comfort thing. If you’re not ready, don't rush. It only causes problems.


 ChicagoStyle
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 173
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History
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:25:18 AM
So, what if you simply don't want to get married and simply don't want any kids of your own but have no problem dating someone that already has kids and/or that has been married before?
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 174
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:52:31 AM

I have often thought of opening a pagan nunnery. Since there are none, the tenets of the order would be entirely up to me--with input from the first acolytes.

Or, maybe a tribe of new Amazons!


This is a fabulous idea.

The only way to improve on it would be if the men who are 35 (and over) and have not married or spawned yet created their own tribe. Then the New Amazons could mingle with the New (whatever the men's tribe name themselves) and there would be bliss all over.


Has anyone even thought that maybe the ones making these assumptions have something wrong with them?


Oh I know for a fact that this is the case.


If I saw a profile of a 35 yrs person with no kids and never been married I would wonder why....most people think that there must be reason.


This is part of the problem. There IS a reason... there always is. For everything. The problem is that people ALWAYS assume it's a fault of some kind. They could not find someone to marry them, they couldn't find someone to spawn with, they're hard to deal with, they fear commitment, etc.

More often than not, the reason is nothing more than an unwillingness to screw up such a major important choice.

You think people feel bad over not doing something just because it's expected? No. They feel 1000 times worse when they make a bad choice out of some sort of obligation... or on someone else's timetable.


However bad this is for men I can virtually guarantee that its worse for women.


You're right, however, men are getting the same attitude these days, too. Well.. we wanted equality, right? Heh.

I love to mess with these people who say things like this to us un-spawned, un-married folks. Because every time I've been accused of being phobic, it's been by people who are miserable in their married and parenting choices. Without fail.

My blissfully married and spawning pals could really give a $hit why I'm not hitched and knocked up. In fact, unless they wanna visit or it's my birthday.. I'd wager that they barely give me and my status any thought at all.

Those of us not married and making babies aren't scared to do so, we just want to be as certain as possible that we're doing it with the right person and for the best possible reasons. If we fear anything.. it's what we witness... becoming miserable people who should've made better choices.
 be thankful
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 175
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History
35, No Kids, Never Married
Posted: 8/10/2008 10:05:01 AM
i never been married,and have one child...funny how you are "congradulated" on getting married..but no one cares if you stay out of a bad marriage..you should get presents for that too..
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