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 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 467
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?Page 15 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

"Oh, scrap that -- they're immature, because I'm now 35." ;) It's just a Taste issue, not actually based on true maturity once one's at or near 40.


NG - it's much, much simpler than that. "Immature" is coded talk, or a dog-whistle, for "I don't like him". Doesn't matter how he acts, what he does, what his job status is, or when/if he was married or had kids. All that matters is "I don't like him", therefore he is "immature". It could literally mean anything - it's not restricted to age discussions.

- An older man who works 60 hours a week is immature for not paying more attention to his girlfriend on weekends
- A younger man who likes to tinker with engines is immature for not taking his woman to dinner on Friday, despite the fact that he is a mechanic
- A guy with 4 kids is immature because he spends all his free time with his kids - it's assumed he can't handle a woman
- A guy who takes women on trips every month of the year is immature because he is a playboy, even if he pays 100% child support and visits his kids regularly.

Just one of those terms that has taken on it's own life. When you see it in a story - time to stop because there's no discussion to be had.
 lynyrd8
Joined: 9/26/2013
Msg: 468
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 12/23/2017 7:07:23 AM
Speaking for myself, and not others. While sex is an important factor, it is NOT the most important. I would like to be intimate in some way, which there are many. So, if a woman is looking for friends only, or to just hang out, I am not interested. I like to cuddle up, go to a movie, and any other activity that can be an intimate activity.
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 469
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 1/27/2018 1:59:05 AM
Why do women in the late 60's constantly talk about "chemistry" in their profiles which is just sexual attraction?
Do you really expect some guy who is balding, has a gut and probably jowls as well to make your toes tingle?
Maybe you should be looking for the guy who will make you chicken soup when you get sick or will be with you when you have to get that
hip replacement, or God forbid, will stay by your bed when it's your turn, or vice versa.
I read profile after profile where women say they just want an honest guy who doesn't play games, then they add but the chemistry has to be there. I.E. good looking, sexy, oh and also all his hair and teeth and financially secure.
And they don't exactly look like Ann Margaret or Sophia Loren in their old age.
I saw these 10 years ago when I started dating after my wife died..and some of them are still here with the same laundry list of
wants.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 470
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 1/27/2018 5:52:42 AM

Do you really expect some guy who is balding, has a gut and probably jowls as well to make your toes tingle?


Yes, Branes, I do.

I have never used the word, "chemistry", to define the sensation I felt when I first laid eyes on my BF, but whatever it is, whatever you call it, had nothing to do with "sexual attraction." He is balding and has a gut..............and his laugh is contagious, his blue eyes sparkle, he is witty AND he laughs at my sense of humor. And last, but not least, my toes do tingle...............from my position on the back of his Harley. LOL, I can hardly wait for spring. New bike, 2018 Street Glide, in Wicked red. (red of course!)

From the flip side of this, many older men complain bitterly about, "Menopausal women", "dried up ol' hags". From my experience, I have met, was formerly married to, ................ men who had little to no desire for sex.

So a woman will use the word "chemistry", in her profile, for lack of any other appropriate word, to define a desire for a man in her life, who can "make her toes tingle". Perhaps in the bedroom, OR...........Make her laugh, allow her to be who she is, offer a sense of security,................... and yes, occasionally a bowl of hot chicken soup.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 471
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 1/27/2018 8:39:46 AM
^^"Make her laugh, allow her to be who she is, offer a sense of security"

That's what I'm missing. I better go to the book store and pick up a copy of "Jokes That Will Make Women Laugh". Then I will be all set for dating.
 Yegor_fun
Joined: 2/7/2018
Msg: 472
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/13/2018 4:53:07 PM
sex is important to many people

imo - if you don't have a healthy sex life the relationship is doomed
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 473
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/13/2018 11:21:45 PM


I've dated a little younger, but it's not my preference.
I don't mind going down a little in age.

Well, NY, which is it? It's not your preference as you done it before, or you don't mind it? :)

NG, someone who is my age at whatever age I'm at should be smarter than they were when they were younger.

No, not necessarily. I always argue against this, even from folks in my age group. It's a bias we all have. They're not going to be dumber. And once in late 20s, there's not a shortage of those not being naive about life-in-general. They do exist, not a rarity at all. Nor are airheads @55. Point being -- it's not super difficult to find someone @30 who's smarter than one @60, while not lacking in basic maturity.

If we aged 10x slower after turning 25 -- this concept would fizzle when it comes to a 55 year old gal referring to dating 30 year old guys. She'd be "28" with her whole life ahead of her, and he'd be "25 1/2".

The other thing is having more to relate to by being closer in age.

This is it, in a nutshell. Since we don't age 10x slower than we do, too many years can mean different times-in-life. It's more open for casual relationships for those who don't mind those things -- but for settling down, it's "risky" for some if there's too big an age gap. Even that has it's negative bias when things Are lined up fine, but there's a more legit concern.

"Immature" is coded talk, or a dog-whistle, for "I don't like him". Doesn't matter how he acts, what he does, what his job status is, or when/if he was married or had kids. All that matters is "I don't like him", therefore he is "immature".

True. I think a bias by many is that if he's younger, he'll be more-like that -- more "immature". A false sense of security.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 474
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 1:17:38 AM

Men are so jacked out of shape at my age, some women too.


Interesting how you placed "some" in front of "women", but not "men".

I rest my case, folks.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 475
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 12:29:52 PM

NewYorker58
NG, someone who is my age at whatever age I'm at should be smarter than they were when they were younger.

We’re going to have to talk about this word, “smarter”. I think with age we accumulate knowledge, and just maybe that knowledge will translate into wisdom. Although obviously that is not always the case.

There is a widely held belief that mathematicians and physicists reach their peak before the age of 35. And there is a lot of evidence to support that, although some will argue against it.

But if you think of “smarter” as possessing a greater ability to solve problems, to logically analyze and reason your way through a problem and arrive at the best possible solution, I do believe that peaks well before your age or mine.

I am not happy about that, but … it is what it is.


Branes
Why do women in the late 60's constantly talk about "chemistry" in their profiles which is just sexual attraction?
Do you really expect some guy who is balding, has a gut and probably jowls as well to make your toes tingle?

I do believe you are oversimplifying this. I think all women, when they first meet a man for possible dating or romance, make an immediate decision on whether they would ever want to be physical with him. But it doesn’t seem to be entirely dependent on him looking like a male model. If it did, very few of us men would ever get a date. I’m not a woman, I don’t claim to understand how it works for a woman, but I am very happy that it does sometime work out in my favor. Very happy indeed.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 476
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 12:37:08 PM
NG, It's both, but my preference is to date someone my age, but I'll date younger. If I would be contacting men on pof, I would stick to 3 years younger or older than myself as a range for picking. The youngest I've gone IRL has been about 7 years younger.

Pig, because it's not some men, it's most men my age. It doesn't help that old geezers list themselves as younger, so then they really look bad for their stated age. So many of these guys are alcoholics, and they're a mess. Try looking at some profiles of 59+ men.

Henry, I mean smarter by way of gaining knowledge.

A woman may envision the guy as someone they'd have sex with, but the words and actions from the guy upon meeting him can certainly kill that.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 477
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 12:53:34 PM

Pig, because it's not some men, it's most men my age. It doesn't help that old geezers list themselves as younger, so then they really look bad for their stated age.


So, it's *most* men, but only *some* women. That's how it always is with you and anything negative. It's always the men who are more guilty.


So many of these guys are alcoholics, and they're a mess. Try looking at some profiles of 59+ men


What the f*ck did this have to do with anything???? See?? You just can't help yourself. You just keep spewing.

You had better hope you wake up gay one morning. It's really your only hope for companionship/romance at this point, and I'm not even 100% sure about that.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 478
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 1:17:45 PM
There are a higher number of people in the 59+ age bracket who are out-of-shape---however, this applies to both men and women. If anything, there are more women than men who fit this description. Why? Because women tend to outlive men, so there are more of them available in the 59 and up age bracket.
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 479
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 1:33:45 PM

Why do women in the late 60's constantly talk about "chemistry" in their profiles which is just sexual attraction?
Do you really expect some guy who is balding, has a gut and probably jowls as well to make your toes tingle?

Who are you to decide what these women find attractive or who they can have chemistry with. Attractiveness is subjective. Ask 10 women who they think is attractive and you will probably get 10 different answers. All that matters is he is attractive to HER. Doesn't matter how many bowl of soup he brings her if she isnt attracted to him. You wouldn't sleep with a woman you werent attracted to, so why would you expect a woman to sleep with a man she isn't attracted to.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 480
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/14/2018 1:34:58 PM
What's to not understand? Alcoholism kills a person's looks most times.

When I'm out and about, I see both older men and women looking like they can barely walk. I feel for them, but not about their looks, but about their poor health. I wish for people that they go into old age in good shape. It's no fun depending on others to help you.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 481
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 11:42:58 AM

Attractiveness is subjective.


I guess it was just a coincidence that Errol Flynn got all those romantic swashbuckling leading man roles instead of Harpo Marx.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 482
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 11:49:57 AM
^^^^true that.
But what about Humphrey Bogart?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 483
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 12:18:56 PM

If anything, there are more women than men who fit this description. Why? Because women tend to outlive men, so there are more of them available in the 59 and up age bracket.

Hmmm, I can see getting that impression because there's more women popping up 59+, thus, you see more out-of-shape people, and oh, more women. But it doesn't mean Of the 59+ people, more women are more out of shape than men. There's just more women in general.

Who are you to decide what these women find attractive or who they can have chemistry with.

Well, first, he was saying "chemistry" is (most of the time) just a kind/PC word for "sexual attraction", whether said person truly realizes it or not.

Attractiveness is subjective. Ask 10 women who they think is attractive and you will probably get 10 different answers.

Yeah, so "chemistry" is about who they find attractive, really (barring deal-breakers that pop-up). But no, attractiveness IS NOT (purely) SUBJECTIVE. :) It has a subjective element to it. We'd LIKE to think it's purely subjective to protect our egos. But it's easy as heck to see it's not close to purely subjective. Subjectivity is just an element in it.

If you took 10 randomly picked men in a crowd (by a computer), and if you took 10 women -- and asked them who they thought was attractive or not... No, you would not get random answers. Otherwise, you'd see Random variants on looks in everything from Sears catalogs to bikini calendars. The core has a strong universal element to it, which can vary some from there.

Alcoholism kills a person's looks most times.

Depends on how you define alcoholic. The AA people think anyone who Likes to have a drink, and will (to any frequency). A less crazy definition, where you're a "weekend alcoholic" -- meaning you tie one on every Fri & Sat night, not Just a few (but not necessarily Wasted; but that'll happen)... I wouldn't say it kills looks. Stress kills looks over time, so I guess if they do that because they are stressed out, to unwind, one could say it's the lesser of two evils if they don't get truly Wasted every Fri & Sat (then it'd just be an even trade).
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 484
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 1:48:13 PM
Chemistry to me is about how a person expresses himself IRL. How he laughs and smiles and puts words together, how he treats me, facial features when talking.

Alcohol can create those swollen looking, big pored, filled with broken capillary, noses, and a puffy face. I've known weekend warriors for drinking and drugs, but also high functioning ones that can drink 2 6 pks a night or a large bottle of wine and still go to work. They look like hell though.
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 485
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 2:09:12 PM

Well, first, he was saying "chemistry" is (most of the time) just a kind/PC word for "sexual attraction", whether said person truly realizes it or not.

He was saying a woman should go for the guy who is nice and brings soup. Soup is not chemistry or attraction. Doesn't matter how much soup someone brings you if you don't find them attractive, You still aren't going to want to sleep with them. Chemistry and attraction are two different things. I could be attracted to someones looks but if they open their mouth and sound like Gomer Pyle there will be no chemisty. I dont like stupid men.


If you took 10 randomly picked men in a crowd (by a computer), and if you took 10 women -- and asked them who they thought was attractive or not... No, you would not get random answers. Otherwise, you'd see Random variants on looks in everything from Sears catalogs to bikini calendars. The core has a strong universal element to it, which can vary some from there.

People are attracted to different things in others. Some men like large women. Some women like small men. Some men like brunettes, some women like blonds. The list goes on. Everyone has their own preferences. I still say different people will find different people attractive.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 486
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 4:32:01 PM
https://youtu.be/OTjd0qHuZ1A

Those thick swollen noses are "rhinophyma" Dr. Sandra Lee shows a few patients in her You Tube channel.

A.A.'s definition of alcoholic

https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf

Only You Can Decide
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 487
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 4:55:44 PM
That was one of the most disgusting videos I've ever seen. I don't think that man's blackhead issue was caused by alcoholism. I didn't see broken capillaries.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 488
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 5:49:29 PM
" I don't think that man's blackhead issue was caused by alcoholism. "

It's not, IMO another poster in here inferred all people w/ thick noses (like those who have rhinophyma) are alcoholics.

They're not.

https://www.google.com/search?q=rhinophyma&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS780US781&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjy1dCI66vZAhUEzIMKHczwDsAQ_AUICigB&biw=1242&bih=602

Does Alcoholism Cause Rhinophyma?
For many years, heavy alcohol consumption was blamed as the cause of rhinophyma. This conclusion was not a far stretch as alcohol can have a devastating effect on your vascular system. The consumption of alcohol tends to cause the brain’s regulation of vascular function to fail on some level, which often leads to enlarged vessels in the face and neck. These enlarged vessels will cause the face to flush, or redden.

Recent studies have debunked this assumption after many patients who did not suffer from alcoholism or consume alcohol on a regular basis have been clinically diagnosed with rhinophyma. While the exact cause of rhinophyma is unknown, it is suspected that circulatory issues and vascular irregularities can help to aggravate the condition.

http://www.rehabcenter.net/alcoholic-nose-rhinophyma-rosacea/
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 489
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 7:40:48 PM
Are you referring to me, because I said nothing like that. I said, "Alcohol can create those swollen looking, big pored, filled with broken capillary, noses, and a puffy face."

I'll see you a link and raise you a quote☺:

Swelling
Some forms of rosacea are so severe that the patient develops rhinoplyma, or a bulbous nose. In other cases, the bulbous look is caused by expanded sweat glands in the nose. So why does an alcoholic’s nose become bulbous? Drinking long enough and often enough and the swelling can become permanent.

That’s not the only area of the body affected by alcohol. You may wonder why an alcoholic’s face swells. One reason is the expansion of blood vessels in their face. Another has to do with your salivary glands. As you drink, your saliva gets stickier, which blocks salivary ducts and causes the parotid glands in your face to swell and make your face look puffy.

Taken from: https://www.12keysrehab.com/blog/the-physical-effects-of-alcoholism/
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 490
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/16/2018 9:17:58 PM

After all what is there left when were to old and the sex is gone.


We can talk about sex and watch old beta videos we recorded in the 80s.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 491
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 2/17/2018 11:38:09 AM



After all what is there left when were to old and the sex is gone.

dragonbytes
We can talk about sex and watch old beta videos we recorded in the 80s.

Old videos you recorded of the two of you having sex? (smile)

The sex doesn’t have to be gone, just because you got older. You might not be capable of swinging from the chandeliers, but there are ways and means …
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