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 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 55
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?Page 2 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
What does age have to do with it? It's usually the women that bring it up first, not saying there is anything wrong with that. There are other things to talk about on a first meeting, hopefully. There are times that I feel like a teenager, so what's wrong with feeling and thinking young?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 56
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 4/12/2008 7:28:56 AM

What does age have to do with it?


Like it or not, the impact of age on women is somewhat more stark, on average, than the impact of age on men. We are a lot less "beautiful" in our youth, being of a more utilitarian design, than women, and consequently, as we age the contrast between our youthful appearance and our mature appearance tends to be less (at least socially) marked. The oft heard lament that "Women get old, where as men get distinguished" is a reflection of this in our social context.

Of course, the other side of the coin is that men fall apart physically and die sooner than do women, so that is an age related issue that also has an impact on the issue. Senior's homes are filled with widows.

I too notice that many women put all kinds of age constraints in their profiles, and appear to be particularly leery of guys older than they are, even although there are lots of sixty, seventy and even eighty year old guys out there that make a lot of the 40 year olds I know look like physical disasters. I think that people in general would be better advised to consider each potential partner in terms of their actual condition, lifestyle, and interests rather than on the basis of their chronological age. Otherwise, you probably miss out on being with some perfect matches, even if it turns out to not be forever.

Let's face it, nothing is really forever, and even a year of spectacular emotional and physical bonding is better than a decade of empty companionship with someone who is close in age.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 58
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 4/12/2008 11:25:17 AM
No doubt about it Merry, its really easy to find men who are physical wrecks, yet still think of themselves as God's gift to the fairer sex. I myself am grossed out by the bad condition of many males my own age. I live in fear of declining into such a state. I really would not want to expose by bed partner to such a thing. On the other hand, there are lots of women who don't appear to recognize that they are in poor physical shape, either.

The odd thing about life is that, broadly speaking, it does not appear to matter much. There is someone for everyone.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 63
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 4/14/2008 2:32:14 AM
I might have to grow old, but I don't have to grow up.
 MikkiG
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 66
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 4/14/2008 5:18:13 PM
A lot of men may think like teenages, but do all older men, act like teenages? Are they trying to impress you? Lets face it, , men are made different than women,. You have the choice right from the beginning, to decide, how, you want to be treated, what you will or will not accept, on a date, in a relationship. Not all older men, think like teenagers.
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 70
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:36:40 PM
Older men think that ALL women are only looking for sex, or money, due to their lifes experience.

They thought that their young girlfriends were looking for marriage and committment. After they married them it was the young wives that insigated the divorces 80% of them and more.
They thought that mid aged, divorced, and apparently, abused ex wives, were seeking companionship and sympathy. These ex wives went back to their abusive husbands repeatedly.

Older men no longer have money. Divorce has left them skint. therefore older women are only after them for sex. Totally logical.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 74
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:22:49 AM
And just why does it have to be gone??????

I guess I must be living in a different world than the OP........

Most the women I know and date are much more open and honest about their sexuality and sensual side. They are maturing and in their prime that keeps them searching for more and more, not to have it gone at all.

I know the difference between thinking like a teen, and thinking like a mature adult, and sex is not one of those issues that needs to be compared at all. Being sexual is just another part of dating and relationships, just like walking hand in hand, cuddling, or laying together enjoying a movie at home.

Most the women I know want to have all of that put together, and seem just as interested in sex as I am, and may even initiate it before I even thought about heading down that road. The only time it is gone, is when you are gone as well, and most that lose it, never had it much to start with.

Just my opinion.......
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 75
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:41:16 AM
^^^^Right on! That was very well written and expressed!
You are correct in that it ALL goes hand in hand with a good relationship! I only wish ladies could in fact be a bit more expressive without being labelled. After all, we are human too!
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 76
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:42:30 PM
Why do people generalize when their range of experience only includes a handful of people? I have never brought up the subject of sex with any woman I've dated since my wife died. If it happened, it happened because we both wanted it to happen.
Why bring up something that's going to happen naturally in time, anyway?
Usually, they are the first ones to broach the subject.

This whole issue of sex in middle age is so bizarre at times. As a man, I don't know how to act anymore. Some women get offended if you try to kiss them goodnight on the first date, and others get offended if you don't. I had a date with a woman yesterday at her home which she shares with her 81 year old mother. We had been talking by email and phone for a couple of weeks, and had met last week at a dog park (We both have 2 standard poodles, which is why I messaged her in the first place.)
We discovered over that time that we had a lot in common, felt the same about a lot of things and were both pretty good people at heart.
I drove an hour to her house. We went to a movie yesterday, went back to her home, she cooked dinner for the THREE of us. Afterwards, we had a swim and sat by the pool chatting and drinking wine. Her mother sat in the screened porch in full view the whole time. I was a perfect gentleman, acted with complete propriety as befitting the situation. We had arranged a date at my house for a Memorial Day picnic. Today, I get an email saying she's not coming because she didn't feel we had any chemistry...there were no "sparks."
We hadn't even held hands or kissed yet!! And she felt no sparks! So, what am I supposed to think about this situation? I respect a woman's boundaries, act like a gentleman and I'm basically accused of being dull and unsexy. What did she expect me to do with her mother watching the whole time??? When I left, I gave her a hug and a quick peck on the lips as befitting a first date kiss. Maybe I should have put a lip lock on her to take her breath away and make her knees weak and say "preview of coming attractions." I don't know anymore. Ironically, most of the women I've dated in the last two years either through pof or one of the other online sites, have jumped into bed either on the first or second date. And none under the age of 50. But those relationships haven't lasted long.
Frankly, I think that if a woman is expecting sparks at our age then she's been reading too many romance novels. Love in middle age(50 +) should be about companionship and friendship, and some romance, but face it..with receeding hairlines, spare tires, droopy breasts and butts, we're not exactly romance novel material anymore and most of us aren't going to take anyone's breath away at first sight. At this age we should be concerned with inner qualities. Is he/she a loving, caring person? Do we have enough in common to build a relationship? Can I trust him/her? What is he/she going to do if I get sick or she does? Will they stay or leave? We're all experienced enough to know that as a relationship progresses, sex becomes less and less a factor in it's success, so why do we put so much emphasis on it at the beginning?

I read posts here from people who say they're waiting for Mr. Right or Ms. Right. There ain't no sech thing. There's only human beings, male and female, with faults, flaws, bad habits, we belch, we fart, we snore (male and female), we leave toilet seats up and socks on the floor, sometimes forget to change the tp on the roll, leave our (not mine) pantyhose hanging over the shower, leave the cap off the toothpaste or squeeze it in the wrong place. Most of us don't truly know how to love someone, because that involves usually putting them before ourselves sometimes, something most of us aren't taught or aren't willing to do. So we create this fantasy person with no faults, always considerate, always loving, never gets angry, never says a hurtful thing, communicates like crazy, doesn't veg out in front of the TV or have any of the impefections or faults our ex had and we call him/her Mr. Right or Ms. Right. And while we're waiting for this perfect fantasy person to suddenly materialize, our body is deteriorating and one day we're going to be saying "I've fallen and I can't get up" but there won't be anyone to help us. Who's going to be there for you when you're 70 or 75 in a wheelchair...your kids??? Very likely not. Rest homes in the future are going to be overcrowded with baby boomers who wouldn't "settle."

After two years without my wife and best friend, I, for one, am tired of sleeping with a pillow, watching TV alone, eating alone, going to the store alone. I WANT someone to share this life with and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I don't want to die alone from a heart attack some night because nobody was there to call 911. I want someone to call honey, or sweetheart or baby, and to say I love you to every night before we go to sleep. i want someone to kid me about my receeding hairline or expanding waist. I want someone to share the fun of riding The Hulk at Universal or Tower of Terror at Disney. They're just not much fun alone. I want someone to cook a special meal for, or mix a drink for. I want someone to take a cruise with, or go to Vegas with or just go camping, if she likes that. My late wife didn't. Does that make me needy? If so, so be it. I'm needy, I need to love someone and be loved. Frankly, I think it just makes me human. Isn't that why most of us are here? Because we want pretty much the same things.
She doesn't have to be a beauty queen, or have the body of Venus. But she does have to be attractive to me and have pride in her appearance. She has to have a loving heart, caring soul, a desire to be with someone, courage to work thru the difficult times, and the need, yes need, to be someone's friend, lover, confidante, and playmate.
I've got plenty of toys. All the toys any man could want. But having none of it can compare to the joy of seeing my late wife's face when I brought her home flowers for no reason, or tried to bake a cake for her birthday...poor pathetic looking thing..leaning with big holes from where I tried to frost it. I didn't know you had to slop on frosting..I thought you put it on like paint..a little at a time. It looked like it had been frosted with a chainsaw. LOL But she loved it anyway. She called it the "Leaning Tower of Duncan Hines." LOL . We both laughed until we cried. She taught me the right way and now I bake a pretty decent cake. :) Nothing can take the place of moments like that. They are what love is all about.
I don't care what anyone says about the "joys" of singles life. Life was not meant to be lived alone. We're designed to love and be loved. That's why most of us are here. We need both.
 Springfield9
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 77
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:01:51 PM
Well, let's get past the "starved rat" and "pervert" labels. One might realize that men (in general) stay sexually active through age 70. It is not uncommon for women to completely remove themselves from intimacy shortly after menopause. Trying to make a sensitive inquiry about the topic is difficult for many men. Moreover, if the woman has lost her libido she may very well be hypersensitive to any questions about it and retaliate with mindless name calling.
 richikes14
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 79
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:13:19 AM
i don't, the older you get the more substance and patience
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 81
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:23:42 PM
Good Idea Winer..

I think that for some reason they didn't get any in their failed marriage. (course there are two sides to the story) and they want to make sure they will get theres again.
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 82
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:17:11 AM
Ok, I may never get another date from POF, not like any of them have been successful, but I've been thinking long and hard over the last year about why dating in middle age is so hard. Consider this scenario.

Middle aged man and woman talking after a few dates:
This is obviously from a man's perspective.

Man: What do you want?
Woman: I want to be respected
Man: I do respect you.
Woman: I want to be loved.
Man: How can I love you if you don't trust me?
Woman: How can I trust you? I hardly know you.
Man: You won't let me get close enough to know you.
Woman: I'm scared. I've been hurt before.
Man: So have I, many times. But we're both still out here looking. Ok. lets put this another way. Do you like me?
Woman: Yes. I enjoy being with you, talking with you on the phone, doing things with you.
Man: Fine, you do the same things with your girlfriends, what's the difference?
Woman: Well, you're a man.
Man: Right, and what can a man do for you that your friends can't.
Woman: Oh, I get it, you're talking about sex...figures. That's all you men want.
Man: Don't flatter yourself, lady. If sex was all I wanted, it wouldn't be with a woman who's body is falling apart, with droopy breasts, a double chin and a saggy bottom. I'd just go to a bar, flash some cash and I'd have a young filly on me faster than you can say golddigger.
Woman: That's a really cruel thing to say.
Man: No, it's not. It's reality. Look at me, my hair is disappearing, I've got bags under my eyes so big they'd charge me extra at an airline and a belly that's never going away. The fact that I am here with you should tell you what's important to me.
I'm here because you said you wanted a good, honest, kind, loving, caring man in your life. We'll he's here and all you've done is act like a scared rabbit, terrified of any
commitment, even to something as simple as coming to my house for dinner. You haven't even given me a good kiss. We hold hands like teenagers, you give me a hug and a peck on the lips and I'm supposed to think you have any feelings for me?
Woman: I do, but....
Man: But what?
Woman: I''m just not sure there's any real chemistry there.
Man: Oh, I see. You don't feel like jumping into the sack with me like you did as soon as you went out with your two previous husbands. The biker, who slept with your best friend a week after the wedding and the ex-football player who smacked you around like a speed bag. Great choices.
Lady, chemistry is what got you where you are now! You say men think with the wrong head...you're just as bad. You're still waiting around for someone jerk to sweep you off your feet....again. I spent my whole high school and college years watching girls like you get used, abused, cheated on, and talked about behind your back, while you wouldn't give nerdy, normal, decent guys like a me a second look. But you think there's this guy out there with the sex appeal of a bad boy, a heart of gold, and a perfect personality who's going to treat you like the queen you think you are. And basically, you've got nothing to offer him. Your body is gone. Your attitude sucks. You're afraid of love, if you even have a clue what it is. And you withhold sex until you get the emotional fulfillment you think you want. Your idea of a long term relationship is seeing each other every 2 weeks because you're too busy to fit me into your schedule, what with grandkids, job and friends.
But you still let men take you out on dates thinking they might have a chance for a relationship with a mature woman. There's a name for that....player.

You know what, forget it. I'm too old to deal with these kind of childish games. When you decide to put on your big girl panties, grow up and get rid of these romantic novel notions you have about relationships, you call me.. In fact, don't bother because by then I'll either have found a woman who's living in the real world. Or I'll just go play with younger women who aren't complete emotional cripples... bye.

This is an extreme example of some of what middle aged men deal with. It's no wonder some of them cut right to the chase and want to find out if a woman actually enjoys sex before they go thru all these changes. I'm not justifying it, as I'd never do that. But I'm not going to judge them for it. But I'm getting d*mn sick and tired of paying for the sins of other men and having all men blamed because some women aren't mature enough to realize that it was their bad taste in men that made them make the wrong choices. I've yet to read a post in the forum that said " I married a nice guy nerd who cheated on me, beat me up or took off when I got pregnant."

I had two dates with a woman recently. The first was great..we went to a VFW, saw a good band, danced, had a few drinks, had great chemistry, not sex, but kissing.
A week later, we went to a movie and I spent a few hours with her helping her to shop for a new computer. We planned for me to be there today to set it up for her.
Two days ago I got an email saying, she really enjoyed my company, I was a nice guy (kiss of death) but she didn't feel the same chemistry the second time so we could be friends, but no romance. She didn't even have the decency to call me, just send an email.

Today I get an email from her asking if I'd come over this week to set up her computer..she'll buy me dinner at a local hangout called the Ale House. Probably cost about $40. What nerve!!! I get $50 an hour with a minimum of 2 hours for a home computer consultation. And she knows that. She sends me a "Dear John" letter then two days later asks me to basically give her a business freebee. Is it any wonder we don't want to play any more games?? But "nice guy" that I am, chump actually, I'll probably go help her out because she's clueless about computers and it will cost her to get it set up.

Or maybe I should just tell her to call the "geek squad" at Best Buy where she bought it.
I don't want to seem like a jerk, but I feel like she's playing me here.

Oh, and by the way..she lied about her age on her profile. She was 5 years older. And older than me, actually. I could care less about that, but the lying part bothers me.
 Elena1962
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 83
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:03:06 PM
April you raised a great question, and the other area I don't like about men 30s, 40s, 50s, and even 60s is that they judge women based on their appearance. They are looking for women who look like teenagers or in their 20s, and they don't look so hot themselves. And they need to flash their material possessions at you. I have only been on this site one week, and I am truly disappointed by the men on here. I am 45, been through 3 births, raised all 3 on my own, working on my educational goals, work hard in my profession, but see people as humans first, gender later. And by the way sex is not gone, just slows down or requires more imagination, which could be fun. I think you are a terrific person April, and don't let the mid-life crisi males disturb you, there has to be some realistic ones out there for us. Great posting.
 Elena1962
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 84
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:11:05 PM
Brane it is the same for both sexes and not just middle-aged men. And yes our bodies change, but if we are good people to begin with, appearance should not be the no. 1 priority, but just reading some of the male posts, I don't read the female posts, the men here are looking for perfect women. I say if we are so perfect we would not have to be on websites like these. Sorry that you had a bad experience with that date, it's women like that that give good women a bad rap, same with the jerks with the good men. I wish you better luck in the future.
 Elena1962
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 85
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:18:31 PM
Bella that makes a lot of sense. I was in a marriage were I had to put weekly reminders for sex to my ex. But I think sex can be fantastic for both men and women for years, if they can find what arouses each other, and to take their time. I like the games and foreplay before the actual sex, foreplay can be anything you make it.
 Elena1962
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 86
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:23:43 PM
Mack,
Nice high kick in the pic, anyway if a woman tells you upfront they want a long-term relationship, would you still expect sex right away? Because that seems to be the common thread on date sites. Now if the woman just simply wants sex or other relationships, then I can see what you say labels them as players and it's up to the man or men to give her the boot. I really don't know why the question about liking sex is hard to answer, it's either yes or no, the question is when does each party want it to start in a relationship????
 PurpleCrayon~
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 87
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 12:50:49 PM
They just do. It's unreal how many approach the subject right after emailing a couple of times. Oh well,... such is life. Let them be and they will end up lonely old men.

I may end up alone... but, at least, not lonely and grasping at straws to try to get one out of 100 to pay attention to me...which is what it seems these type of men are doing. Playing the odds.

Note: I did not put all men into the category. Just the ones the thread is about.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 88
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Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:14:49 PM
I think most people on here ARE looking for sex, men and women; just a matter of how they approach it and the boundaries set..........

OT......I must be living in a different world than most around, me thinks.....because I do not know about you all, but in my world, most women are in their prime and can give me the ride of my life, wear my ass down, and want to come back for more.......

If the attraction and chemistry is there, sex will follow, just a matter of how you develop it and let it happen. There is no need to know about "sex first", but much more about compatibility, chemistry, health and desire. All these things can happen quickly, or take time, depending on the TWO involved and how they communicate their wants, needs, and desires....

Since I know that most women want the same thing I do.....letting them set that pace is fine with me..........just as long as that pace is not even faster than mine....hehehe.....

Just my opinion........
 Elena1962
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 89
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:24:04 PM
Deacon I like your honesty
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 90
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:52:11 PM
If you take out the word "older" it doesn't sounds so bad. Men are men. I suspect that it's a function of the fact that we are all getting older. If they are on this website and "starting over" with a woman, perhaps they are just hoping that there will be some "last hoopla" in their future.

Sex isn't the main topic, but at 50+ you can bet that it's becoming a concern as part of a relationship. And it's not unusual for women (and sometimes men) to have such bad feelings about sexual intimacy that many of us are just worried that we might get someone "like that". Perhaps it's important to get some of the deal breakers out of the way quickly. Fact is there are a million reasons why people do what they do. And if someone does not want a sexual relationship with a new significant other they ought to just say so in their profile. Sadly, it's a pretty common thing... So maybe "men" just ask because they don't want to waste a lot of time and effort on someone that already has problems with sex.

Well, that's what I think anyway...
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 92
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:49:05 AM
If older men are acting like teens then older women are acting like a bunch of damn nuns. Prudish, stuck up, but with minds so overdue for a bath that they see phalic symbols in everything from bananas to motorcycles.
 jameshillman63
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 93
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:17:11 AM

Well, first off, it` not all older men, but its the jerky older men.
I have a theory about this. I think alot of them have just started on ED meds and they have not been able to perform for a long time. Now they have their pills and they are like a kid with a new pony to ride. I`m not being snotty. I`m being serious. I do think that this is what is happening. They are only thinking with one head. As long as they are getting their famished appetite fed, what do they care about who it is. They`re getting it------FINALLY!!!!!!. Like a starved rat.

omg thanks that is funny
 amo-vida
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 95
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:08:52 PM
HaHaHa ... great one wooby!

edit: BTW guys, you prolly don't have to ask: according to another site, if the ring finger of the left hand is longer than the forefinger, she does.

So ... if I ever get around to posting pics on my profile, I should put up a photo of my hand and bing bang boom, question answered

These over-generalized threads (all men are pigs, all women are gold diggers) are so done to death. They also make me wonder why the proponents of these theories even bother to date. If certain topics do come up (and I have heard from men that certain pof female dates were much too eager and forward on first dates) you have a choice to say, "Thanks for meeting me. I wish you well."
 clambroth
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 96
Why do older Men think like they are teenagers. Wanting to know about Sex first?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:01:54 PM
Here we go. More gender bashing
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