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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the run      Home login  
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 Dr. Me
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 51
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
This is a common misconseption . I'm actually more interested in a person who is comfortable with me quickly . That could be sexually ,emotionally , or in a relationship. I've had the best relationships with women that i slept with quickly . And these were actual relationships ...for weeks to months, months to years . The bottom line is maybe it isn't necessary to enforce the double standards anymore . Honestly speaking , the more you make a man work for you and you aren't working as hard for him ,He'll lose interest . Or at least i will ...
 angloo
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 52
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/15/2006 11:18:11 PM
Just the opposite. Unless the GIRL changes her mind afterwards (which has happened), it makes me MORE interested, not less. Both fiancees and both women I lived with slept ith me on the first date, as well as about half of my love relationships. I think it's fantastic when a woman recognizes the chemistry we have, and (maybe unlike most guys?) I want her MORE afterwards, not less.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 53
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:50:45 AM

If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Geez ... I hope not! If the chemistry is right, should we be penalized for that?
 BIG-TARGET
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 54
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 6:22:31 AM
It also depends on the person/persons(either gender) involved. FYI, I'm 42, And I am a little too old and tired of the courting "games". And one gets older one does develope(sadly) a "let's cut to the chase" mentality. It doesn't make the peron(s) evil or imoral, it just IS.
 adragonjeffy
Joined: 2/18/2005
Msg: 55
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:01:12 AM
    ...No WAY! That's silly thinking... I feel the same as you when it comes to that... So I say a BIG "NO" to that question...


If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?

 SavageBeauty
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 56
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 10:07:08 AM

but i also tend to think, if she slept with me on the first night who else has she.
I have problems with this line of thinking. If it's not "okay" for a woman to have sex on the first date, then why is it okay for a man to do so? Gotta love those double standards.

As trite as it sounds, it does take two to tango.
 ShadowKnight59
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 57
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 10:14:10 AM
well it doesn't exclude you for me. You just have to realize that not everyone looks at it the same way. Some are still lookig for that virginal girl to marry and take home to mom I guess. Although I am not so sure where they are going to find that.

Kevin
 getinmyarms
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 58
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 12:40:53 PM
Megwriter, I agree with you, but first the disclaimer....In online dating, there is initial attraction, then email, which builds the attraction, then phone conversations which build the attraction further. If at any point the attraction fades, then there is no tomorrow, no more communication.
I think that having sex right away is vital, if all the other elements are honestly there. Who among us hasn't got to the relationship stage where sex is appropriate (we can debate the "when" part later) and find your partner cannot and never has ever had a climax or cant have multiple multiple orgasims? Or some other compatibility killer, she doesnt like getting oral sex, or loves sex once a month but no more...... whatever. Ive never had a f---buddy, but there are women that I would marry, or refrain from marrying if we just couldnt hit it off in bed. Or in the kitchen or in our plans or likes and dislikes in other areas, its not just bad sex that kills a future. All that matters is your heart (plus the really great sex) so, you get no criticism from me for your views Megwriter. Its a total package.
 sassyvgirl
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 59
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:13:28 PM
Although out of character for me...I slept with my ex husband the 1st night...we were together for 13 yrs....
 maryellen47
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 60
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:39:13 PM
Well lets say this I met my boyfriend 15 years ago and took him to bed 2 hours after I met him and he never left. I think it is all about who the other person is and how he sees you. If he rejects you because you had sex right away well I think he is not for you. I have a lot of friends (mostly women IM BI SEXUAL) and they all say if you wait to have sex then he might find another woman Im not sure if i agree with that but it is my rule If I want that person Im going after that person if they dont want me then they had the best now they can have the rest
Kisses

Maryellen
 thawootah
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 61
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 1:46:39 PM
No this just moves your application to the top of the pile. Seriously waiting is like not showing the first day it really hurts your chances of becoming successful in our business.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 62
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 9:45:37 PM

frankly how any guy could settle with a women before sleeping with her baffles me.


Wow, poor you!!!!! There are all kinds of ways to learn about someone physically (since that seems to be a concern of yours.) Sex is the easy route. I was in a long-term relationship and actual sex didn't happen for almost 6 months. I promise, neither of us had many questions about the others likes/dislikes/turn ons/turn offs/etc. by that time. And, when it finally did happen ~ it was not only amazing, but very binding. I think you're missing the big picture. Sex for the sake of sex is, as Glimmy says "highly over-rated." But, add sex to an already intimate (no, sex isn't the only intimacy there is!) relationship....you get the real deal.
 celticelle
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 63
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/16/2006 10:45:30 PM
I think the concern maybe shouldn't be are you out of the running for a relationship, but how will YOU as a woman feel if a man dumps you suddenly afterwards or, even worse, drops you a couple of months later when you've started to develop some feelings? It hurts a lot worse when you've become sexually intimate. Maybe you'll become infatuated with someone who isn't even worthy of it because of the sexual situation. It depends on how sensitive a person you are, I guess, and what risks you want to take with your feelings. Everyone's different. I think your main concern should be protecting your own feelings and happiness.
 Cynful_38
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 64
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:23:08 PM
Yep !!!!!
It doesn't matter how old or young you are.
Goes both ways too.
If I meet someone and sleep with them on the first date, he's thinking, I bet she does this will all men, even if it's not true, which it's not. AND I'm thinking the same thing. He's easy. Do I really want a relationship with him ?
 Seeing_Stars
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 65
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:29:05 PM
If you sleep with a guy right away, that's unfortunate but yes, that means you are not girlfriend material. You may be f*ckfriends, but that's all. Most guys will not consider settling down with a woman who puts out on the first date (or the day you meet). I guess it says something about the woman. If she's gonna sleep with a guy on the first date, she may have done the same with other guys. The third date rule is usually safe if you want to pursue a relationship. Just my 2 cents.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 66
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 4/19/2006 10:07:22 AM
I assume you're talking about actually having sex right away. Seems kind of "personal" to be exchanging body fluids so quickly ...

What if you just get naked and get really close right away? Does that take you out of the running for a relationship?

Honestly ... I think it's whatever works for the two people who are participating.

If you are a lady and you're thinking this guy is "relationship material" and you're afraid you'll blow it by sleeping with him right away ... hold off.

If you're a guy and you think the lady is "relationship material" and you don't want to give her the impression you just want to get your rocks off ... hold off.

We all just have to do what's comfortable for us ... I don't think there are any rules ..."3rd date or whatever" ... I think we all pretty much know right away if a person is going to be "relationship material".

Just what kind of "relationship" ... that gets determined as the days and weeks go by ... right?

 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 67
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2006 7:57:04 PM
*sigh* I am truly tired of people that use people for sex and people justifying that behaviour. Sex is great, sex is fun, sex feels good but does it mean anything to anyone anymore? *Heavy sigh*

If someone judges another for having sex too early, do they also judge themselves...TAKES TWO! I mean if they are initiating the sex, what does that say about them? Do they enjoy making someone feel like they just got used and tossed aside? Do they need to do that to make themselves superior or something?

I've been caught in this situation and have had many female friends get caught in it too. In 99.99% of the cases, the men initiated the sex. Can these same men resist the temptation of being with someone they are physically attracted to? If not, then do they realize by their own standards, they are unworthy of a second thought?

Oh never mind....they will never get it anyway!
 dknickerbocker
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 68
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:11:37 PM
No... sleeping with someone early on is not the issue... The real issue is that it takes a bit of time to see if someone has relationship potential...

So...If you get physical early then after 3-4 dates find out you aren't a good match... well...



I've been in a serious relationship for about 9 months now... but prior to that I'd say the norm was sleeping with someone on the 2nd or 3rd date... do that 20 or 30 times and you start to feel a bit sleezy... but for me anyway... someone who will get physical early on is not a problem... good chemistry, similar values and interests are the real issue

DK
 torentrap
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 69
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:26:25 PM
Not something i'd do , when I 'sleep' with someone it's not before there's mutual love & respect
 chickey-poo
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 70
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2006 11:11:15 PM

but i also tend to think, if she slept with me on the first night who else has she


I find it funny, man man wants a woman that is the "girl next door" to everyone else but and animal behind closed doors, but they don't what you to come to them like that. They expect that they should be the man that is going to make that magically happen.


i think if u have sex with a guy right away based on being attracted then if u were in a relationship the guy might think u would sleep with other guys u were attracted to, what im trying to say is although its alright to go with what u feel a guy wants to know u have self control and wont go sleeping with every sexy milkman when u are married


Having sex on the first date only proves 3 things 1. that she is usually pretty horny so sex would happen offten 2. that you have the ability to turn her on fast because she is attracted to you 3. that there will be few if any sexual "hang up" issues to deal with. No where does that prove that she is someone not to be trusted.
 Male_26*
Joined: 10/20/2006
Msg: 71
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:00:30 AM
No not in every case depends who you are depends who he is, i know for me i tend to think in the sence of ''easy come easy go'' i think that is reasonable thinking, if he thinks like that even tho he will gladly sleep with you, he will have in the back of his mind, she was easy it could be just as easy for her to be taken away, some guys dont worry about it.

but i have to say in most cases it cant improve your chances.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 72
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:32:58 PM
I am with you - however, I believe we might be exceptions.

I think - if you were to find someone 'honest and caring' - it would be all good.

However....
 Bryantinfl
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 73
 LondonAussie
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 74
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:54:33 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

good point!!!

i know that semen has to leave my body on the first date, so if its a case of ****ing her up an alley or having a wank when i get home thinking about it, semen has to leave the body!!
 catrinaone
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 75
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 11:28:57 AM
I had the way to much to drink last night and let a guy go too far, He just sort of fooled around, but now I am mad he told me to lay on the bed and rest. It was my fault things just got way out of hand.
I am 66 only my second date with him. Now I feel awful.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?