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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the run      Home login  
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 dknickerbocker
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 69
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
No... sleeping with someone early on is not the issue... The real issue is that it takes a bit of time to see if someone has relationship potential...

So...If you get physical early then after 3-4 dates find out you aren't a good match... well...



I've been in a serious relationship for about 9 months now... but prior to that I'd say the norm was sleeping with someone on the 2nd or 3rd date... do that 20 or 30 times and you start to feel a bit sleezy... but for me anyway... someone who will get physical early on is not a problem... good chemistry, similar values and interests are the real issue

DK
 torentrap
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 70
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2006 8:26:25 PM
Not something i'd do , when I 'sleep' with someone it's not before there's mutual love & respect
 chickey-poo
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 71
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2006 11:11:15 PM

but i also tend to think, if she slept with me on the first night who else has she


I find it funny, man man wants a woman that is the "girl next door" to everyone else but and animal behind closed doors, but they don't what you to come to them like that. They expect that they should be the man that is going to make that magically happen.


i think if u have sex with a guy right away based on being attracted then if u were in a relationship the guy might think u would sleep with other guys u were attracted to, what im trying to say is although its alright to go with what u feel a guy wants to know u have self control and wont go sleeping with every sexy milkman when u are married


Having sex on the first date only proves 3 things 1. that she is usually pretty horny so sex would happen offten 2. that you have the ability to turn her on fast because she is attracted to you 3. that there will be few if any sexual "hang up" issues to deal with. No where does that prove that she is someone not to be trusted.
 Male_26*
Joined: 10/20/2006
Msg: 72
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 11/30/2006 1:00:30 AM
No not in every case depends who you are depends who he is, i know for me i tend to think in the sence of ''easy come easy go'' i think that is reasonable thinking, if he thinks like that even tho he will gladly sleep with you, he will have in the back of his mind, she was easy it could be just as easy for her to be taken away, some guys dont worry about it.

but i have to say in most cases it cant improve your chances.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 73
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:32:58 PM
I am with you - however, I believe we might be exceptions.

I think - if you were to find someone 'honest and caring' - it would be all good.

However....
 Bryantinfl
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 74
 LondonAussie
Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 75
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 12/1/2006 1:54:33 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

good point!!!

i know that semen has to leave my body on the first date, so if its a case of ****ing her up an alley or having a wank when i get home thinking about it, semen has to leave the body!!
 catrinaone
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 76
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 11:28:57 AM
I had the way to much to drink last night and let a guy go too far, He just sort of fooled around, but now I am mad he told me to lay on the bed and rest. It was my fault things just got way out of hand.
I am 66 only my second date with him. Now I feel awful.
 Kiwiee
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 77
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 1:20:15 PM
What a choice to make...on the first date or-------- meeting, shall we call it?
I think you should just be homest with yourself at that point and decide what is best for you...and the future.
 1smartfox
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 78
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 1:26:34 PM
Yes. It's not a good idea. Some self control is a good thing to have. It happens but I think most guys would prefer you to resist if they actually like you.
 myrenovating
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 79
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 2:26:33 PM
no it does not ..i have slept with almost every girl i have gone long turm with the first day
 Amami13
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 80
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:35:40 PM
Well my opinion on this topic definately has to be said!Im kindqa old fashioned for my age.
I really think if you sleep with someone the first date/or time together you are sending off the wrong impression. Only because then you may not be taken seriously. Honestly I really couldnt imagine sleeping with someone right away and it lasting too long. Only because if the sex is goos it would cloud your judgement on everything; you would love the sex rather then then the person. So hey if you are just lookin for booty maybe...but if you are looking for seriousness then wait till the second date!LOL...so jokin!,,,,well not really...*wink * wink*
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 81
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:39:45 PM
I think it depends on the guy.

I don't have sex lightly... so if I slept with someone right away it'd be because I thought they were something special.
 Armola
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 82
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 7:09:12 PM
I know one happy couple who had sex on the first date. it depends, if the guy is clastrophobic and thinks the girl by doing it puts herself down, then yes it will affect. one think how people act before a relationship which takes time to develop, another thing is how they act after. one thing is being sexually open or overly open, another thing is being unstable, unfaithful, unreliable etc, are they connected? NOT AT ALL!
 DustyRose65
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 83
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:31:23 PM
I think it does for a lot of men without them really realizing it.
 happyboi
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 84
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/1/2007 8:55:11 PM
My soon to be ex, and I did it on the first date. We were together for 13 years, after that. So, I would say you can have sex on the first date, and still have a good relationship. I honestly don't think the sex had anything to do with our relationship. It was just a lot more fun, from the get-go. :-)
 jg65
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 85
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 8/29/2007 2:54:37 PM
Oh bollocks, here we go again
waiting is good for nothing
if you are meant to be (couple) then it will be
have always and will forever respect a woman, or would not sleep with her in the first place
all my l/t/r (7 year long and the other 8 yrs long) both started with 1st nite loving, yet 1 girl went out with 6 months without a cuddle
why wait?
other than superstitous nonsense (religion) or what cosmo or other idiots say
love is something shared, how do you look down on someone for sharing themselves????
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 86
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:20:41 PM
Ok. I know a lot of women who I've slept with either the first or one of the first dates. Only one of them has been considered as long term potential.

I look at it this way, if you sleep with a guy on the first date, you're setting yourself up to get used and dumped. Guys have no problem having sex on the first date, especially if they have no long term plans in mind. Then it's a simple case of get it while it's available. They don't want to wait, simply because there's not likely to be too many more dates before they move on.

The guys that say it's cool to hve sex on the first date, are secretly hoping that either you, or someone who read their post and believed it, will have a 'first' date with them and put out on that date.

From my own point of view.
Sex on the first date implies the girl is not bright enough to think through the possible consequences. ie, STD's, physical assault etc... Good plan, take all your clothes off in the company of a person you don't know, nor even if what they've told you is real, then afterwards say "He's a player, he used me!" Yep.
I'm smart enough to know that condoms are not enough protection these days, and that waiting a few days or weeks to get both of you a reasonably clean bill of health via testing is as sensible as not drinking and driving.

I understand that women have needs too. Gee, who knew. By the same token, not giving in to those needs at the drop of a hat, (or a zipper) says a lot about character.
We all want to feel good, but we don't all run out and do heroin just to feel good either...

So, a lot of women wonder why the guy moves on eventually? Well, it's because they decided early on, that you're not long-term relationship material. But they're never goimg to say the real reasons why....
 Fleurdelis
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 87
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:39:37 PM
I really think that it depends on the people involved.

Over the years, I've mostly dated guys that I knew thru work. We knew each other and they knew that I wasn't passin' it out like it was candy on Halloween. That said ~ I've had sex on the first date and the relationships that followed lasted for years. My girlfriends and I joke that I have to be VERY careful who I sleep w/ b/c I can never seem to get rid of them after I do! LOL!
 TRUTH_AND_HONESTY
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 88
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:24:29 PM
Meg, I have slept with many many women on the first date and will tell you this. I was satisfied with almost all of them right up until weeks or months or years later when they started trying to change who I am. I try to make changes for the good but some changes are just not for me. So, all I can say is be yourself, which there is a good clue in your words that you are, (I like your spunk) and do what you makes you happy. Might as well find out if you match up right off the bat. (You know what I am talking about)
 custis
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 89
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/24/2008 10:41:26 PM
It should not matter unless the guy is one of those rednecks with double standards about women.
 pre-datingCoordinator
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 90
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/25/2008 12:06:24 AM
The longer you wait, the harder they fall...
It works everytime, sometimes too much and I end up with a total loser pathetically in love with me... or I try and un commit and keep sex and they are too serious to be FWB. That is just guys, I don't know why...

But that is a better position to be in then used....I would rather have a guy too into me than the other way around. ICK...
 Justn_Otherguy
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 91
If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/25/2008 3:53:29 AM
This is another question that there's no right answer for. What works for one person will most likely not work for another.

For me, it's not a deal breaker. Every significant relationship I've been in began with sex either on the first or second date. I think it's good to know if you're sexually compatible because for a lot of people sex is an important part of the relationship. But there has to be a connection between us to make me want to pursue an intimate encounter. I'm not a one-night-stand kinda guy.

That being said, if I'm into a person, I don't require her to put out during the "getting to know you" phase if she's not comfortable with it. But I would like to know her likes/dislikes up front and generally hands-on experience provides a more complete picture than a discussion. A woman with hangups about sex (either discussing or participating) is probably not someone I want to be involved with anyway.
 SexiSingleMom24
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 92
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If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?
Posted: 3/25/2008 4:57:07 AM
im so in agreement girl, i am a very sexual being yet i am looking for a relationship to go along with it and run into the same damn problem..guys will hiton u to get laid an never contact u again ..unless they get h orny again then all of a suddent hey mite show their faces again an i dont think its fair at all. I love sex and if im attracted 2 sumone why hold back when ur body is saying go forward? seriously u only live once sex is a physical expression of ur atttraction 2 sumone an u can be attracted without a relationship.. a relationship is built on getting to know the person an why wouldnt they want to get to know u ? obliviously they were attracted so stick around guys like come on sex is meant to be enjoyed an personally i want to know i if im compatible in bed first since sex is important but that doesnt make me a slut..i prefer to be **** bcum friends an then build a relationship lol in that order:) an i was a ministers daughter growing up so im a great person to take home to mom guys like seriously cuz i like sex doesnt mean im not good relationship material!
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If you sleep with a guy right away, does that take you out of the running for a relationship?