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 lisa94585
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 401
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Talking about sex before even meetingPage 17 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Same thing happened to me. First phone call and within first 5 minutes. He was supposed to be looking for LTR and a complete perv.
 dogboy1969
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 402
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:54:42 PM
If a man talks about sex without meeting you, he isn't serious about a future. Men who are seriously interested in a woman are on their best behavior unless they lack social skills or common sense.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 403
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:02:40 PM

...an experience I had just last week. I was getting to know what I thought was a really terrific guy, only to find out he was very creepy once we spoke on the phone. He kept bringing up sex and even started breathing into the phone so heavily that I stopped talking for a moment to wonder if was okay. He then admitted to printing my photos and masturbating to them.

How much more into you do you want a guy to be?!


with 2 of the 3 girls i've met on here, it was discussed either prior to meeting or shortly thereafter...and i don't think i brought it up

Yea, I don't think the women posting here in this thread are necessarily very representative of the larger population.
 FourUms
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 404
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:10:58 PM
I've already said it, but it bears repeating... I won't initiate the conversation. If it does turn to sex, however, I welcome the frank and open discussion of it.

A definite turn off to me, as it shows me that he is probably seeking casual sex [...]


If a man talks about sex without meeting you, he isn't serious about a future.

I'm sorry to say it, but unless we're talking about rude or insulting early emails, I think you both may have it wrong.

The reason I think a discussion about sex is good, is precisely because I'm concerned about future compatibility. If all I wanted was casual sex, I'd just do it and find out for myself - I'd be moving on anyway, right?

Now if you're not a sexual person, or are never comfortable talking about it, that's fine. You're just not a good match for me, so that's good to know upfront too. I'm starting to think that I should start initiating some of these conversations - to weed out women who will never be compatible with me.

On EDIT:

Yea, I don't think the women posting here in this thread are necessarily very representative of the larger population.

This may be very true!
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 405
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:42:54 PM
I get the same thing. A guy will talk on the phone and go right to cup size, clothes size, my overall size. No dates with these idiots.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 406
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 11:22:52 PM
Why discuss sex before meeting, as it makes him look dumb to me (and probably others) if there is no interest on his or my part in taking the relationship further upon meeting. To me, sex will be discussed if we are attracted to each other in more ways than sexually and are persuing a relationship with each other that is NOT totally based on sex. I daresay that the women who feel the same as I do are possibly not the exceptions to the rule, which does not mean that we are prudes, not interested in sex, or looking for Mr. perfect.
 Krystal413
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 407
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:33:51 PM
"If you meet someone at a gathering, the coversation doesn't go like this :

Hi I'm Joe Blow, how are you, oh btw what's your favorite position? Seriously, Joe knows he's going to get smacked!!

Online Joe is braver...if the conversation goes from chit chat and getting to know you to sex, that's usually it for me! Good-Bye Joe!!

I already am aware of the fact that sex is the first and most important thing on a mans mind. If he can't be bothered to care about or want to talk about what is on my mind then he's really not worth eventually messin up my hair for! "

Amen, sister!!!! Went through this exact situation tonight with someone......his loss!
 Chastitine
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 408
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/7/2009 9:02:07 PM
Yes, it does feel really inappropriate. Just do what you feel is right. Dont answer them if that is making you feel uncomfortable. I have had the same questions asked to me... along with "What is your bra size," "What kinds of things do you like for foreplay". If you dont want that kind of relationship, then, don't feel bad for not replying. Sex is a super big deal, obviously, to a lot of men out there and some women too. I have discussed sex before meeting with some one. It, a lot of times, can be kind of a turn on, but, other times, depending on the person, can be a turn off completely. Do what you want and what feels comfortable to you.
 Mc.Angel
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 409
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 10:34:44 AM
I agree with you ... there are many times I speak to men where their first approach is talking about sex ... and I HATE that with a passion because they are not interested in getting to know me, who I am, what I do, where I come from, who does my family consists of, what do I like, what do I not like ... just general conversation about every day life and building a foundation for friendship first. Depending how many conversations we are having a day and how much information we learn from each other, it may be possible to have a general conversation about sex before meeting if you did not meet soon after the first several conversations. However, I prefer for that conversation to wait because there is time for that later on or at least after the first or second date ... but today many men online (not all but many, lol) just want sex or want someone who is physically attractive to them and can satisfy them in that area ... anything else they don't care about!!!
 ron62449
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 410
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 11:08:37 AM
I as a man am looking for a relationship, not sex. I don't think talking about it before meeting is good policy. Unless both are looking for an intimate encounter. When you start dating and finding about each other though, it's part of knowing them. See if you have the same sexual drive and if you are sexually compatable. Sexually compatale means one would like a threesome, and audience, bondage, and the other just one one one and no kinky stuff. If there's a problem like the thread where she is conviced she sucks in bed, if you are willing to work and support her on this issue.

Ron
 Mikey7619
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 411
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 1:09:51 PM
Plain and simple... on the net its considered creepy but if its done in real life like when you just meet someone if the woman thinks the guy is cute she'd be totally fine with it
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 412
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/8/2009 2:50:11 PM
I have never initiated a conversation about sex before meeting up with a woman. But some women that I met from dating sites did. I think there is a difference between having a honest discussion about sex and making crude statements on one of the first few emails such as "Hey baby, do you want to f-ck?"
 babyboomerbaby
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 413
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/9/2009 4:44:02 PM
I agree what is up with that I enjoy sex like every one else but please what happen on getting to know one another first.. I have had similar experiences and it just is a turn off. I like to know more about a person before sharing myself...fustrated:
 Husbandman
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 414
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/9/2009 5:24:05 PM

Just wanted to hear others opinion regarding this topic.
I have seen an over abundance of people who want to tell me all about their sexual likes and dislikes and what they want to do to do me even before meeting me. Am I being a prude by thinking that this is disprespectful???
This behavior tells me that the person who is doing that isnt someone who isnt really interested in me as a person but what is between my legs and how that can help them.
Please discuss!


You really don't know what it means! But if they can't seem to get passed the sex thing and talk about something else other than sex then that might be a little more telling of their personality and overall interest.
 katchoowitty
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 415
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/10/2009 7:37:08 AM
A conversation is a conversation - it ebbs and flows in a variety of different directions...

I struggle to see how that might come up in an email (unless it in response to information about someone gleaned from their profile or a forum post), but in a "chat", its easier to get there.

Language is vague and flirting often relies on intentionally vague language that allows the other person to take it where they are comfortable.

I answer any direct questions recieved with a direct answer. If it's a vague allusion to something, I have a choice! I can deflect the conversation or..if I"m offended respond with a very polite "why do you ask?"

"Why do you ask?" is a fabulous tool for putting the query back to the person doing the asking. They then have to tell you their INTENTIONS and clarify what they are asking. This can do several things, 1. provide information regarding how they think, 2. provide information as to what they want with you! It also allows you establish boundaries about what kinds of questions you are comfortable with answering in the venue chosen.

This works well on meets, first dates and at church!!
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 416
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/10/2009 12:45:17 PM
Gypsy,

You are talking to them too long before meeting them.

Most of these guys will not turn out to be someone you will ever be intimate with, so talking to them about it while they pull their own ponytail, is just helping them get off.

Most wouldn't dare be so rude in person. Don't accept it online either.
 ChefAmber
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 417
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/1/2009 11:40:30 AM
I don't think its prudish at all. Had that exact thing happen to me. Just barely exchanged three messages with a guy and he decides to tell me that sex is his favorite hobby. Turned me right off. That irritates the hell out of me and he will never hear from me again.
 Twooit
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 418
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:23:39 AM
I don't care when sex comes up in casual discussion- but when it becomes the topic of the conversation(s) it starts to annoy me. I'd rather be with someone who surprises me after a few dates then someone who has told me everything she likes in bed before I even meet her.
 clito
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 419
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:34:40 PM
as to gypsycookie's concern, a woman who is uncomfortable with talking matter-of-factly about sex, is going to be uncomfortable-whether it is talk or the real thing.Sex is one aspect of a relationship-albeit an important one!,-however if it is an "ordeal" then best seeking someone with an indifferent attitude!
 MissaInVA
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 420
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:00:26 PM
I find it extremely disrespectful. I had a guy send me a message saying, "What some company?" I thought he wanted to chat, so I told him my Yahoo messenger name. He wanted to know where I lived. I told him I wasn't about to tell a stranger that information. He said he was horney. I blocked him from messaging me anymore.

My profile clearly says two things, "Devout Christian," and "Don't message me looking for sex." So, right off the bat I know people who message me looking for sex can't read.
 beth03054
Joined: 1/5/2009
Msg: 421
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:56:56 PM
It happens to me more often than not, it makes you feel like they don't really want to get to know you at all just get in your pants. I am a very sexual person and I still think it is very rude and makes you feel like a piece of meat. I don't understand why guys have to find out if you are going to be good in bed before they even meet you. Is it such a waste of time to get to know someone and then find out the sex is not good and break it off. Why the hurry..
 ShortBlonde1985
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 422
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:26:23 AM
To me, talking about sex before even meeting someone is rude. Especially if they are doing it in a way that they assume that you are going to have sex with them. They are too confident to think that before they have met you and have no right at all.

Ive talked to quite a few men who talk about sex all the time. Sometimes I say "You really need a hobby" and their response is "I have one...sex".
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 423
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:09:02 AM

To me, talking about sex before even meeting someone is rude.

In that case, every woman I've met with has been rude. Methinks the women here are posting for show, since I haven't found any women in the dating pool to be all that bashful.
 ShortBlonde1985
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 424
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:15:34 AM
I would talk about sex to someone im dating, but not on first contact
 bobisthe14u
Joined: 4/30/2009
Msg: 425
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:20:16 AM
Interesting topic.. umm but I thought the whole point of meeting and dating her was to have said subject.. But of course no one has said subject in the real world, that only happens on TV...at least from what I read in these forums everyone is chaste and innocent, but of course I have been wrong before... So what if the subject comes up?... Just because some one brings up the subject of intimate relations that does not mean they expect all of that...just maybe they are only having a conversation with you.
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