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 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 26
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Talking about sex before even meetingPage 2 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Look out! Sex is what they are after.
 fafi83
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 27
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/16/2008 8:12:10 PM
Couldnt agree more. Its just annoying.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 28
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/17/2008 6:53:10 AM

I have seen an over abundance of people who want to tell me all about their sexual likes and dislikes and what they want to do to do me even before meeting me. Am I being a prude by thinking that this is disprespectful???

Yes it does mean you are a bit of a prude (see the "bit" part since I don't know you or how comfortable you get discussing these issues with someone you know better).
So find a guy that is a bit of a prude himself, hope that down the road there isn't frustration due to incompatibility between the sheets.


This behavior tells me that the person who is doing that isnt someone who isnt really interested in me as a person but what is between my legs and how that can help them.

This could very well be the case. Or he could be feeling out compatibility with a near stranger to see if something might be worth persuing. Sex may not be everything but it is very important in a relationship, so finding you that you do or don't enjoy enough of the same things saves him from wasting his time and yours down the road.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 29
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:05:57 PM
Women jump the gun them damn selves sometimes when sex is mentioned some immediately think it's the only thing on men's minds. I'm willing to wait but sometimes I want to know if I'm wasting my time waiting for something that will never cum. I will ask point blank. "Do you like sex?" , " Well, do ya punk!?" I sometimes save the second question for special occasions.
 Masked_Hero
Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 30
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/21/2008 9:51:49 PM
When women start talk'n about sex early before we really get to know each other, to me is a huge turn off.. At the same time its defenatly a topic that has should be disscused eventually.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 31
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:32:01 AM

I don't think you need to go into specific details.... but I do think at the proper time, the only thing that should come up is as to whether or not you have compatabile sex drives.

I don't necessarily look for equal sex drives as I believe most men have women beat in that area. Although in my old age I have run into a few 40'ish sexual peak raring to go girls that normally, like most men, wish they had that to deal with but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I just look for women that don't hate sex. Those that freak when you ask or talk about it give me pause.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 32
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:49:09 PM
I think it is a good idea to talk about sexual perferences. That way I can weed out the guys that would not be suitable for me. For example I do not engage in so call oral sex. I weed out men who must engage on oral. I want a man who will learn where and how to touch me with his hands also not jerk off on the day, and a day before we decide to have sex so he can maintain an erection. Getting sex issues out in the open is good because it helps avoid a dissapointment.
Talking about sex perferences, what I like and don't like, does not mean I am going to do it with the person I am sharing this with, but it can avoid dissappointments if and when it happens.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 33
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/23/2008 1:01:20 AM

Tonight I have come to realize that I do talk about sex in a way before meeting men. I realized it because I talk about some of the funny things I have read on the forums. Some of the funniest sexual threads are deleted. I wish some of the comments could be kept and put in the comment hall of fame.
Do you often tease and not deliver?
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 34
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/23/2008 2:39:45 AM

it's not a " one size fits all " type of deal.
I've been told many times my size fits all, in fact, perfectly!
 Doxiegirl
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 35
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:48:49 PM
No you are not a prude....they lack class imo. I believe any profile that indicates what they like sexually is a bad way to intro themselves. After all would they do that in a bar...."Hi my name is so and so and I have a high sexual energy," as so candidly written in some of these profiles. Now if they try to discuss this on dates I would politely tell them it is presumptuous and inappropriate to talk about such things, and if they get defensive about it I would shorten the date and block their profile/s. I mean c'mon what happened to being gentlemen?
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 36
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 7:31:09 PM
Everyone ahs differnt opinions on sex and the act of sex. Some people may have fetishes or amy be a little on the kinky side. Some people don;t like sex or hav e anegative opinion about it or think that people jsut want to use them for sex. Others wantt o wait for marriage. And talking about sex is good so that people kjow what they like and know what to expect. And to know where each party stands. Iw ould never get inviolved with someone waiting for marriage. As I eniyo sex. i also might be hesitant to be witha girl who thinks sex is morally wrong. some people are jsut into things that are too kinky. its all about comfort levels.

So you have to ask yourself are you comfortable with yourself sexually and out tlaking about sex and about having sex? Are you ok with being in a relationship that involves sex? Are you comfortable being with someone period? Are you comfortable being kissed by someone next to you who may not be wewaring any pants? There are people out there who will use you for sex as there are people who just want you to enioy being with them. its always ok to talk about a subject but you should tlet the person know whether or not you feel comfortable tlaking about the subbject whether is sex, abortion, or politics.
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 37
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/25/2008 9:42:40 PM
Like I said in a different forum ... I unerstand both sides of the sex and dating thing , but do guys have to be so grose and say things like Im horny ? ... Its like I cant get passed the frist three emails without getting sone lame words on sex ... Why cant men be a little more tackful and show a little class about it ...
 Treasuresaplenty
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 38
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:20:50 PM
I get the same almost with every guy & I have asked them in my profile & in messages, & on the phone & in person not to do this....obviously they don't get good women. I feel it is ultimately showing disrespect in a very pertinent area that we as ladies would appreciate & we would most likely be more inclined to date them again if they did "HEAR" us truly. If this is disrespected. Such an important area to both sexes obviously, in just different ways, one meaningful & heart-felt, the other much less to do with heart or spirit, what else will be disrespected down the road? Self-mastery is an acquired quality, that disqualifies these guys with ONE thing on their mind from my event calendar. Thanks for being open about this...
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 39
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 1:53:38 PM

Oh man! Could I tell you a earfull!
This woman has sheep on her profile, Honey where are you? I'm over here, baaaaaaaaa. Nuff said bout dat!


..Ever hear that saying..If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say nothing at all..
Yes I have but many females on here must not have. Woman do more bashing but because they feel justified anything they say becomes okay in their mind.


..Or gee he seemed nice until he opend his mouth.
She seemed very nice until she started talking and she couldn't keep her mouth shut. The shoe on the other foot, didn't you know they come in pairs?


..Most of the ladies on this site are looking for love. Not just sex.
Why do mostly women assume they are mutually exclusive?


Hell we can get that anytime, and we don't need a man.
Thats what were afraid of so we explore with questions.


Totally creeps me out.
A popular opinion among women here. How's that for maturity?


but do guys have to be so grose and say things like Im horny ?
Females have always been telling guys they want to know what were feeling. Only answer that question when you tell them what they want to hear or talk about feelings they consider valid. If we feel it whats wrong with saying it and discussing it like a mature adult? I may be hot, cold, lonely, hungry or sad but those are okay? We still live in the dark ages where some topics are taboo? Talking about sex doesn't mean wanting to do it then and there or ASAP or 24 hours a day but how about exploring another aspect of compatibility in a healthy relationship. I forgot, eeww that's like so gross, like totally, fer sure.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 40
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:55:31 PM

but could simply be considered[sp] in poor taste before you meet someone one in person


So if I listen to [insert poor taste] music that might be a deal breaker. Clothes out of style or in poor taste should be avoided. How about my poor taste in furnishing my sparsly decorated, messy apartment?

What do you do for a living? (hint, hint, how much do you make?) What's your blood type? Do you have HIV or other diseases. Do you require dialysis? Lighten up and relax. We live in an information age. Life is complicated enough don't make it harder than it is relax. I sometimes test women too and if they can't handle simple questions without going off the deep end, I see it as saving myself a lot of time and energy down the road and pain, lots of it.
 dreamweaver2
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 41
out of the desert
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:44:46 PM
How was your pizza?
She was great !!!!!!!
 Shaun2112
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 42
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:36:30 AM
The thing is... most guys will start wondering what it's like to have sex with you the second they lay eyes on you. They don't even have to talk to you... they could just see you walking down the street and they'll already be picturing you naked. The difference with the internet is people feel like they can leave their inhibitions at the door and say anything that pops into their head. They would never say those things to you in real life right off the bat... unless they were drunk or stupid.
I think the internet has really socially handicapped a lot of people.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 43
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:42:04 PM
I wasn't clear on this. Is this what men should expect when they get together with you? Or is this how you imagine a man's life is without a woman.

Well its like this, on a normal day men don't do sex, they get up go to work, come home eat their tea, fall asleep in front of the tv and then get up go to bed.
I think you forgot to mention them drinking their crumpet's.
 vaxplant
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 44
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:42:41 PM
I think a little harmless flirting before we meet to me is a good thing. I like to know there's the potential for interest and chemistry in that department. Call me wierd, but I like to know we can communicate at that level.

I've also gotten to the point where I pretty much refuse to "hot chat" with someone before I meet them. It just adds a whole different level of awkward, especially when you do meet them and either of you decide "friend" or "no".
 dalek1967
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 45
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:53:10 PM
I think it depends on the people talking. If it makes you uncomfortable then say you would rather not talk about it this soon. I don't bring it up but I do have ladies ask me things. I figure if they ask, they must want a answer. Since I am disabled it usually starts out along the lines of 'does my disability affect my sex life'. It doesn't but then they ask more after that. If they ask, I answer. After a little while I may ask a question or two myself.

I did read one other post that mentioned it can be better than finding out later that one has a high sex drive and the other has a low sex drive. If watching similar shows on TV, liking similar foods and having compatible money views and other things can be talked about, then why not at least a little info on the romance? It just comes down to whether both people are somewhat comfy talking about it or not. If one is not, then one should say so.

My $0.02 worth for today.

 Shaun2112
Joined: 7/23/2005
Msg: 46
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:32:01 AM
haha... I never understand why some women think because a guy looks at porn that's a deal breaker. If that's the case, I'm afraid you're going to have to go lesbian... because just about every guy on the face of the earth looks at porn. Guys masturbate... especially when they are single... and guess what they look at when they do it?
Now if a guy is in a satisfying relationship and he's STILL looking at porn, then you might have a problem. Everyone is different, but for me if I'm in a relationship I'd much rather indulge in my significant other than in porn.

But anyway, back to the original topic...

I think it is pretty stupid to start having graphic sexual conversations on the internet with someone you've never met. A little flirting is normal... but you need to remember it's a real person you're talking to, someone you might want to meet in real life, and saying inappropriate things isn't going to bode well for any future meetings.
I know there are a LOT of guys who treat this and other dating sites as though they are "hook-up" sites. If that's all a person is looking for, then more power to them... but do it in the right place. You should NOT be contacting the "normal" people who are not looking for "intimate encounters".
Just my 2 cents...
 SimplyMeeee
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 47
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:11:56 AM
Conversations have an ebb & flow. The sex subject can come up, but for me, that is something that can very well wait. Learn about the person. I'm not interested in sex for sex sake. In truth that is cheap & too easy to find. To have the toes curl requires communication, words, actions, being around them. Knowing that you actually like them.
There are so many other things to talk about in emails and phone conversations before meeting. If those subjects are right, they will lead you to where the sex conversation is a natural occurance.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 48
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:26:57 AM
First of all class is rarely seen anymore, especially for the under 30 crowd. I've talked to younger girls and they are so sexually aggressive that you know its not their first rodeo and its pretty disrespectful.

Most guys are horn dogs; they are like dogs in heat and their goal in life is to have sex. It's what they see in women, and they will say and do anything to get it. Things have changed so dont' be surprised.
 fixitfred
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 49
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/4/2008 5:34:15 PM

Here's my reason to wait until you are face to face. If he is unable or finds it uncomfortable to talk about sex in person I am not interested. The amount of men who CAN blather on and on about sex online is numerous. The amount of men who are comfortable talking about sex face to face is not so numerous.

I don't wait an eternity before meeting someone.

It's like so many things on here - one can talk the talk, but not all can walk the walk.

This is what reminded me of a girl I was seeing that scared me. Comming from a pretty girl, yea us guys like to talk but when push comes to shove, all bets are off.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 50
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/7/2008 2:37:08 PM
I agree, Annette. I have talked to men on the phone and they acted like I was the sexiest woman alive, then when we met they didn't like me and /or my appearance(many seem to think that the photo that was sent was someone else when I did not look like a model, and was playing a joke on them....me thinks that I am not the one with the problem when this has happened to me)...yeppers, a stranger has no reason to know about my sexuality, etc., and if he is basing compatibility on that, he needs to grow up and get with reality.
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