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 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 152
Talking about sex before even meetingPage 21 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)

Plain and simple... on the net its considered creepy but if its done in real life like when you just meet someone if the woman thinks the guy is cute she'd be totally fine with it


My ass.

Spoken like the truly unenlightened.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 153
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:45:52 PM
I have been in a couple relationships where we waited quite a while before we had sex only to find out she had "issues" with sex or a body image problem and will never do that again. I want preferences out and open very early so I don't waste another year with someone that does not like sex.
 merelymortal
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 154
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 11/27/2009 3:05:38 AM
Well, I'm no veteran of internet dating, as I have only met one nice young lady online, but I know that before I ever go to meet someone in person to be sure they are on a similar sexual wavelength as I am. That is, I will ask probative questions...

so, how long have you been single... that one can raise a big red flag or waive a big green one depending on the answer

so, how many men have you been with... albeit, never asked that one verbatim, but there are subtle ways of asking this one, like their job, where are they from, what's their faith, the kind of music/culture they associate with and how much they care about music (the more they care about music the more they care about sex is a pretty fair generalization), how old they are, and another variety of complex things that basically gives you only an abstract number that you have to associate with the personality type outgoting(more men) vs shy (less men), these are all obvious, but very clear indicators that get more accurate the older she is

this doesn't take a genuis to figure out, and I don't mean for it to be judgmental to anyone, but I'd say thats a fair way to look at things according to conventional wisdom

there is a balance to it though, some people have a self image that is completely contrary to their actuality, so those are people that will screw up this type of questioning because the lie... not really on purpose, but because the actually are sexually active in their mind constantly and just aren't in reality... but its still pretty much lying
 merelymortal
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 158
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/4/2009 1:34:15 AM
you have to admit though, talking about sex will reveal allot about a potential mate... whether you are a prude, or are loose, or are somewhere in between, it reveals character. Character is important to everyone whether they are just looking for a regular sex partner, a husband/wife, or sex with a shoulder to lead on...

talking about sex, with tact, is always smart... tact is the key... or not, if you want to be completely open and honest with no form of deception... but everyone has their mask
 jadajones6
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 159
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/4/2009 3:48:24 AM
There is a timing to everything. I guess we have forgotten that sex is best when it is an expression of our feelings for the other person. In that context, talking about sex before the two people have even figured out whether there is other much more enduring compatibilites, is completely out of line. I know in today's world, people pop in and out of bed as if it really doesn't matter much. It is a lie and look around and look at the consequences.
 jadajones6
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 160
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/4/2009 3:51:16 AM
It is deeper than that. What you are looking for and what he is looking for is world's apart. Sure, there has to be some sexual compatibility, but truthfully, a relationship is not based on that, period. Show me one relationship worth having, where that is what kept a couple together and happy. Good sex comes from the relationship, not the other way around.
 Sayers987
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 161
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/4/2009 1:03:15 PM
Change of Topic.

I skimmed most of the pages because the basic points were exhaustively discussed. The major point I got out of this thread is why there appears to be a large imbalance of men to women. I asked a woman from match why she thought that there were more men registered than women on sites like pof and match. This was not intuitive because there are more women than men in most age groups in the general population. So what happened to the women? It turns out that she and many of her friends simply got off the sites because they didn't like the constant sexual harassment.
 misszmsz
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 162
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/4/2009 2:25:51 PM
I like sex and more sex, but only with the right guy.

Tell him if he ever gets the pleasure after you meet to see if you are remotely interested and compatible.

Then you decide if you want to be the phone sex operator for free or to charge him $4.99 a minute.

[I am watching some guy getting his chest hair removed on tv . He is screaming in a foreign language yet I understand him.] This is truly funny.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 163
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/4/2009 3:16:24 PM
I am going to chime into this topic again.

I think that the less vanilla someone is, the more important it is to discuss sexual compatibility before dating.

For instance, a woman with a high sex drive who likes to be tied up and whipped is going to be much less likely to just "let things happen" and find out a man's like and dislikes later.

A man with a lower libido and who is only comfortable with missionary style jackhammer or super gentle sex will NOT do it for her.

So I would argue that people on here who don't feel this is a necessary topic to discuss either A. don't take dating all that seriously and don't mind serial dating or B. are either vanilla or have a low sex drive.

I would predict that not a single person who has any sort of kinky likes or dislikes, or has a high libido would be ok with not asking -any- sexual questions before dating.

-8sf8
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 164
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 12/15/2009 7:08:10 PM
"A lot of men see women as nothing more than a vagina sent here to be a sperm receptical. You will have to search harder to find the men who see women as an actual human worthy of respect."
------------
Don't fool yourself. The exact same thing can be said about women. Don't believe even for a second that women are any better.
 js38seaj
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 165
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/17/2011 3:22:06 PM
I've been talking to a woman on here, on her profile it says that she is not on here for sex, yet that is mostly what we have talked about. Seems ironic to me, but women are a little confusing to me, lol
 BlueEyedGirl05
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 166
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/19/2011 2:15:51 PM
I'm going to attempt to put my two cents in to this topic without being attacked.

I think that it is absurd to say that people who are willing to talk about sex before meeting should move over to the sexual encounters part of this site. Sex is an important part of a relationship for most people, so why wouldnt people looking for a relationship want to inquire about it with someone they are interested in dating? Just because someone asks you a few sexual questions does not mean that is all they care about. As long as the conversation is well balanced with other important topics and not all about sex I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

When I say talk about it I mean questions like on a scale of 1-10 how kinky do you consider yourself not what do you want to do to me? I am looking for a relationship and when this topic is introduced I do not squirm as long as it is done tactfully and not all that a guy talks about.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 167
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/19/2011 2:52:16 PM

I think that it is absurd to say that people who are willing to talk about sex before meeting should move over to the sexual encounters part of this site. Sex is an important part of a relationship for most people, so why wouldnt people looking for a relationship want to inquire about it with someone they are interested in dating? Just because someone asks you a few sexual questions does not mean that is all they care about. As long as the conversation is well balanced with other important topics and not all about sex I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

When I say talk about it I mean questions like on a scale of 1-10 how kinky do you consider yourself not what do you want to do to me? I am looking for a relationship and when this topic is introduced I do not squirm as long as it is done tactfully and not all that a guy talks about.


Refreshing attitude, thank you.

If adults, getting to know one another, can't talk about things like this..then there is no sense in dating each other. You can tactfully inquire, and engage in conversation, about aspects like this, without setting the stage for anything else.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 168
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/19/2011 2:59:57 PM
I find it easy to distinguish between intelligent and open conversation, (which can include sex), and sleazy attempts at dirty talk ....either way, I don`t end up being offended.
 BlueEyedGirl05
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 169
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/19/2011 3:28:03 PM
I agree it is something mature adults should be able to discuss and yes it is easy to distinguish the difference.
 BlueEyedGirl05
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 170
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/19/2011 3:36:50 PM
I also think it is very closed minded and an antiquated mindset to say that women who answer those types of questions have no self-respect! I do not see how simply discussing sexual topics with someone makes you not have self-respect. I have tons, thank you!
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 171
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/19/2011 11:46:42 PM
msg.#1:

If a man talk about sex before meeting me, about his dislikes and likes when he doesn't even know yet my middle name. I'll tell him upfront That I charge for sex $2000.00 cold cash money down for 10 minutes whether he cum or not. End of discussion!!!
 ClaireChristine
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 172
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/20/2011 4:44:21 AM
I think talking about sex before meeting is all they do, just talk.
It is disrespectful and really it is all projection and fantasy in their minds and they are just playing games with you.....
 ClaireChristine
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 173
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/20/2011 4:45:14 AM
Yeah. Who wants to be some guys unpaid prostitute??
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 174
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/20/2011 7:47:37 AM
I find it odd since you have not met in person yet. Both of you could have no interest in each other at all upon meeting. Why do I want someone who will spend maybe 30 minutes with me drinking coffee and never seeing me again knowing about my sexuality? One of the problems I see regarding meeting someone online, and how the "weeding out" process is perceived is definitely not the same for everyone.
 bunnyBiotch
Joined: 6/7/2011
Msg: 175
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/20/2011 12:21:02 PM
No you are not being a prude, but there is a difference between objective questions about sexually preferences and sleazy sex talk, as this poster said -

I find it easy to distinguish between intelligent and open conversation, (which can include sex), and sleazy attempts at dirty talk ....either way, I don`t end up being offended


I had a guy there other day not talking about sex specifically but continually complaining about his exes shaving habits or lack there of. After a few comments as to what he should've/could've done and trying to steer the convo elsewhere, he went back to biotching about this. It was off putting, and I get that he was letting me know one of his dislikes, but it was exsessive... And I am definately not a prude...

There is a fine line between informational sexual conversations and uncomfortable sexual conversations. But it is easy to distinguish between the two, one being fine and the other being offensive....There absolutely is a time and place for everything!

If you feel uncomfortable, that's valid and the way you feel, don't worry about it. Leave that person alone and find someone else you are more compatible with...
 cookies1972
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 176
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 8/20/2011 7:50:52 PM
pretty much right. if all a guy is talking about is sex that is all he is interested in. if he is interested in you he should want to know everything about you and if he isn't doing this run for the hills because there are some real jerks on this website!
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