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 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 101
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Talking about sex before even meetingPage 5 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I think you're right, gypsy. Not only disrespectful, it kinda kills the mood. Sex ain't gonna happen until you meet, look at each other's bodies and into each other's eyes anyway. Maybe some guys are so horny they don't even care about the "whos", "whys" or "wherefores". They should just masturbate.
 beerbag
Joined: 9/14/2007
Msg: 102
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/14/2009 12:20:39 AM
If we aren't sexually compatible why should I even care to go on a date?
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 103
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:29:31 AM
Talking about your sex likes and dislikes should not be a taboo subject.....but seriously have a little respect and wait until you atleast meet.......hell the person you are talkin to might not even be the one you see in the pic you are lusting over......
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 104
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:43:20 AM

Talking about your sex likes and dislikes should not be a taboo subject.....but seriously have a little respect and wait until you atleast meet.......hell the person you are talkin to might not even be the one you see in the pic you are lusting over......


I think if one is polite, then the most honest thing to do is be up front about what you want in terms of a relationship and sexual preferences. You can always agree to meet under conditions such that no one is put on the spot. For example, you can agree before meeting that you part company without indicating that you'd like to meet again, so that you have to leave without indicating interest either way. Also, rejection is a fact of life. If you meet and there's no zing, what's the big deal? Move on and find someone with zing. It won't kill anybody to have lunch or dinner with someone he/she isn't going to fvck for aesthetic reasons.

Given that the internet could be used efficiently to at least find a pool of partners with similar enough interests to make it worthwhile to meet, what's the point in playing games that only add people you aren't compatible with to your pool? Unless someone is desparate, I would think it better to try to exclude people whom you could know from the start, would be incompatible. I guess I'm not really interested in meeting someone unless we're both able to be straight up with each other and be on the same page, so sex is going to be a subject that I always say something about before meeting anyone.
 hunting4funinmn
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 105
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:29:31 PM
I would be curious to know what percentage of guys would eliminate someone as a potential partner if your first message included a note that sex really isn't your game.

Why do I talk about sex before I meet someone:
#1) If I didn't care enough about and admire someone enough to consider boinking them, I can't see how I could ever consider them for a potential relationship.
#2) I am kind of a perv...
#3) If I'm going to scare them away, I'd much rather do it before we meet.
#4) Flirting is fun.
#5) It's a turn on.
#6) It gets your mind off other things and helps each other relax.
#7) If you can talk about sex, you can talk about anything.
#8) Likewise, if you know someone intimately, chances are you also know how many times they've been in jail and what for.
#9) After you've been with someone who can take it or leave it, you realize how important sexual "ambition" is, especially if you're sexually ambitious.
#10) Starting off a relationship by cutting off the communication and saying "I don't want to hear what's important to you", is saying "Tell me what I want to hear, I'll tell you what you want to hear. Please feed me full of bullshit 'cuz the illusion matters more than the respect."
 wildflwr5
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 106
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:06:24 PM
OMG! I agree! I've had emails from guys telling me they wish they were my toilet seat. Ewww. Just doesn't do it for me. Sorry.
 Gingergirl912
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 107
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 1/27/2009 1:23:56 PM
Of course sex is fine and dandy, but it seems to me if they have to mention it on the first email, there's not much else to the person. I've even been approached by guys that their profile was pretty much solely about what they liked during sex. I've also been approached by guys that all they have on their profile was a pic of their "package" hanging out for the world to see.

These type of things tell me that that's mainly what they feel they have to offer, just sex, and not in their minds or anything else. Sorry, but you can find just sex anywhere. JMHO, Adrianne
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 108
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 2/1/2009 4:25:30 PM
Talking about sex before even meeting suggests they cannot think with their big head (on top their shoulders). That's all they probably want.

That's a definite red flag. I sometimes get the same thing. How do these idiots know they are not talking to Lorena Bobbitt?
 cyberian_huskey
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 109
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 2/1/2009 6:46:30 PM
My opinion is this:

I think if you don't want to have hot chatting sessions, or to feel obligated to have sex upon meeting the person, or if you just simply want to be mysterious and just lead them through knowing your first before sex (the right order of things if you want a relationship to mean more than wham bam thank you ma'am), then don't talk about sex. If all they want is sex and you try to talk about other things, and you end up saying you don't want to have sex until marriage, they leave. the saying goes "resist temptation and the devil will flee from you" and you save yourself lots of agony this way. Really what they are saying is: "I am on here to only get laid and I don't really care who you are, I am a desperate loser looking for some action, ONLY. And if you don't give it to me, I'll get it elsewhere"

However if you DO want to have hot chatting sessions, and you want to have sex urgently, and you want to sort out these details now because it's really important to get the sex, and then if there's anything left over after that, fine or who really cares??? then talk about sex right from the start. Because that's all you'll get. But don't expect that anything else.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 110
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 3/29/2009 8:21:46 AM
Why talk about sex when you might meet and find each other totally unattractive? Then one or both people look silly and possibly embarrassed, as they were all into this fantasy that the other person was hot and totally sexual, then they meet and cannot wait to get away from the person, muchless have sex with him/her.
 ron62449
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 111
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:22:44 AM
I used to think'no way, not until the relationship gets heavy'. Lately though I think you should discuss it early in dating. I would want to know if we are on the same track on sex. Just lately I met one woman on POF, and after several e-mail found out she wants sex right off the bat. Do you agree with the same thing on sex, is one of you into kinky sex, more people than just the two of you. I'm no prude, waiting until marriage, but I at least want to have a committed, exclusive, and loving relationship. Not casual. I like to cuddle and make out, even sleep together, but sex is something I'll wait on. Even skinny dipping or full body massages do not have to be sexual.

Ron
 Liven4TheMoment
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 113
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:11:11 PM
OP I completely agree with you. That should come much later in conversations after you have gotten to know each other.
 clearbluecolors
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 114
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/12/2009 5:24:32 PM
I don't have any answers to this question, but I have some observations. Occasionally, I will connect with a guy who sounds like my man. But with the first communication, it goes downhill. He gets to a place in the conversation where it's trash talk.
Over the top, explicit, crap, and it's pretty obvious he's been third party way too much. Don't these men understand that there is a lot more to good sex than geometry and anatomy? I suspect that the more the men need to talk about it- the less interesting they are in the first person.
Anyone else want to weigh in on this?
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 115
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/12/2009 6:20:18 PM
OK

I wasn't going to chime in on this thread (considering how long it is!) until I JUST had some nimrod from here messaging me...asking me if I shave. And NOT my head.

Seriously...how do you go from hi how are you to "do you shave down there" and expect that the woman in question will actually take you seriously and NOT block you? (which btw, he is--blocked that is). When I said to him that I didn't understand why he couldn't ask me what did I want to do on a date, he said that he didn't want to date...he wanted a "friend and a companion"...an FWB. So I suggested that he change his profile to state that but I guess he realizes that his chances would be zero.


Good grief...some flirting is ok but damn...seriously???? I don't believe that the men here are just looking for sex--but it's the aholes like him that give those who aren't a harder time than they should get.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 116
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:59:35 AM
You're not being prude and disrespectful, they are. I am surprised at some of these men who think that will win them a date NOT!

Think with your big head(the one on your shoulders) guys. Some men have their mind in between their legs.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 117
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:01:08 AM
I never initiate conversations about sex during the first few contacts unless the woman raises the topic. There is so much else I want to know about them to help decide if I even want to meet them.

Of course, it depends on the site and circumstances of meeting, etc. Some sites are about dating, and some are more about sex - if you're on one of the latter, it would be appropriate, because you're probably not interested in a long-term relationship anyway!
 URLOVEY
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 118
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:00:00 PM
I know this is an old thread, but my 2 cents... I would end communication right away. I am a human female...not just an animal...sex is cheap and I can get that anywhere...let me get to know you and you me before we even CONSIDER sex conversations.
There is nothing left to the imagination anymore is there?
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 119
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 12:38:46 AM
with 2 of the 3 girls i've met on here, it was discussed either prior to meeting or shortly thereafter...and i don't think i brought it up, as that's not really like me. seems like people are just pretty open and free when it comes to discussing sexual issues and likes/dislikes these days.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 120
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 5:05:18 AM
A definite turn off to me, as it shows me that he is probably seeking casual sex, seems to assume that I am a woman not a lady, and is used to talking about it to strangers online, which makes him a man to me, not a gentleman.
 MsYesterday
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 121
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 8:16:15 PM
A lot of guys here are looking for sex only.You can tell within the first conversation you are having with them....they always need to throw in few sexual things.
Before your initial meeting they will say things like.
Are you going to be in high heels and mini skirt? You sound very sexy....a true gentleman will not ask you questions like that.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 122
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:02:40 PM

...an experience I had just last week. I was getting to know what I thought was a really terrific guy, only to find out he was very creepy once we spoke on the phone. He kept bringing up sex and even started breathing into the phone so heavily that I stopped talking for a moment to wonder if was okay. He then admitted to printing my photos and masturbating to them.

How much more into you do you want a guy to be?!


with 2 of the 3 girls i've met on here, it was discussed either prior to meeting or shortly thereafter...and i don't think i brought it up

Yea, I don't think the women posting here in this thread are necessarily very representative of the larger population.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 123
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 10:42:54 PM
I get the same thing. A guy will talk on the phone and go right to cup size, clothes size, my overall size. No dates with these idiots.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 124
Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/3/2009 11:22:52 PM
Why discuss sex before meeting, as it makes him look dumb to me (and probably others) if there is no interest on his or my part in taking the relationship further upon meeting. To me, sex will be discussed if we are attracted to each other in more ways than sexually and are persuing a relationship with each other that is NOT totally based on sex. I daresay that the women who feel the same as I do are possibly not the exceptions to the rule, which does not mean that we are prudes, not interested in sex, or looking for Mr. perfect.
 Krystal413
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 125
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Talking about sex before even meeting
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:33:51 PM
"If you meet someone at a gathering, the coversation doesn't go like this :

Hi I'm Joe Blow, how are you, oh btw what's your favorite position? Seriously, Joe knows he's going to get smacked!!

Online Joe is braver...if the conversation goes from chit chat and getting to know you to sex, that's usually it for me! Good-Bye Joe!!

I already am aware of the fact that sex is the first and most important thing on a mans mind. If he can't be bothered to care about or want to talk about what is on my mind then he's really not worth eventually messin up my hair for! "

Amen, sister!!!! Went through this exact situation tonight with someone......his loss!
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