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 todreamandbelieve
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 70
Dating Musicians??????Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
You are very right Eddie!
I had this conversation yesterday with my friend Ralph who worked in the music industry for quite some time. He is always adamanant that I should not date a musician. So we started arguing about it a bit. I do know some musicians who seem to be very upstanding people. Ralph then explained the difference in his eyes.
Would the guy sell his soul for a recording contract? Does he have trouble holding a day job? Does he lack basic responsibility in his life? Does he live, sleep and breathe music?

If the above things apply then I need to be wary of him. If he has some common sense, a huge amount of responsibility and can find other aspects of life exciting ..then he's not nearly as bad..and I'm allowed to consider dating him. LOL
 pbjazzee
Joined: 8/9/2006
Msg: 77
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 8/30/2006 8:26:32 AM
East Side Eddie:

You are one of the lucky ones to still be a full time musician.....I had to go back and take business courses in the 80's because my husband at the time and I could not find enough work as musicians full time. It became a sideline for me after that, but I am fortunate that my "real job" also involves music since it is a speaker company. In Southern California, which should be a hotbed for entertainers, the disc jockeys, sequencers and Karoake took over most of the night club acts and events. I also totally agree about the compromising music scene nowdays. No one cares about harmony, arrangements, etc. Might as well have a disc jockey spinning the CDs. I play keyboards too and of course being "older" I lost the "cutesy in the mini skirt" front stage status, even though I am still petite and can dance up a storm and am a trained musician and excellent vocalist. People always tell me "think Tina Turner".

I guess I am fortunate, though, because most of the men I date look more at me as a person than a musician, where probably a lot of women are more fascinated with the man being a performer on a stage. It's a sexist business in both directions, not to either sexes' advantage. I also think a lot of people want to get into the music business for attention, not to express their talent and might hook up with another musician for that reason. My ex boyfriend did that.... ha! ha!...and I mentored him. He was one "groupie" with a goal!
 spurdrummer
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 80
God I hope not
Posted: 8/30/2006 5:43:56 PM
Hey I am a drummer as well and I to find it hard to find a good woman to date. Man I hope it has nothing to do with my music cause I live for it. Rock on Man!
 SWSpice
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 85
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:48:20 PM
Blech. I think the only musician I'd date is Bono and he's been married to the same woman forever. That's why I'd date him.

I read where Bono's wife would make him stay in a hotel for 2 weeks when he came back from tour, just so he would adjust to being normal again. Most get their egos so high they forget they are just people who live & die like everyone else. I love music, used to play the sax, would love to get back into the culture again. But date one, I doubt it.
 Dreamerxoxoxo
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 86
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:44:04 PM
You would think being talented at something would be a turn on... Any thoughts? Is dating a musician a turn off?


Musicians rock! (Pun intended).. I have a passion for live rock music - my late husband was a very talented musician.. we had a story book love affair. My last LTR is a musician.. we just grew in different directions but parted friends and are still friends to this day. Guys who happen to be musicians are no different than guys in any other profession.

Good looking guys in any profession get hit on.. It's just that it's more obvious and out in the open for gigging musicians The woman who wants a musician in her life must have confidence in herself and her relationship. The girl's preference of not wanting to have to "deal with it" is just that - her preference. You don't know the reason she has that mindset. Don't let it shake your confidence. Just take it her comment with a grain of salt and move on. She most probably did you a favor.. Different strokes for different folks.

There are plenty of females who find musicians fascinating - the evidence is in the posts to this thread.

Talented musicians are definitely a turn-on.. Trust me...
 YearoftheCat
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 88
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:01:35 PM
It's the lifestyle part that she's talking about. It's not for everyone so you should try to go for those who are ok with the late nights and groupie girls, etc.
 prettite
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 90
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:34:19 PM
My last bf was a musician, and I swear I'll never date one again. He wooed me with his talents, and dazzled me with all the people he knew and the nights out at the clubs in Las Vegas. He was very passionate and charming as hell. He swore he was in love with me and that I was the only one. So I wasn't worried that he was out at the clubs every night of the week (practically) "hanging with friends." To make a long story short, I found out that he was playing the field and cheating with several of the women whom he had caught the attention of while being in an exclusive relationship with me. He had been lying to me all along about this, and when I caught him in all of his lies, he lashed out at me really bad.

They don't call'em "Playas" for nothing....granted, you may be one of the few who is able to resist the temptations that other musicians are faced with, but as for myself, it's gonna be a lonnnnnggg time before I date another one.
 NorseViking869
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 95
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:43:59 AM
As a musician it is hard to find a woman that thinks I wont cheat on her or that I will ignore her. Music for me is like a hobby, like anythingelse. So yes I am hard to date because of it. I do not date alot of the girls that come to the shows. Just something about kissing someone who was with other band memebers of other bands and wanting something more meaningful than one night.
 halfangelhalfdevil32
Joined: 1/22/2016
Msg: 99
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History
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 12/6/2016 4:25:04 PM
Dating a nusican is bot avout being with them for the money its beibg wuth then for love
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 100
they know how to string along
Posted: 12/7/2016 9:13:15 AM
There's a lady here who likes musicians, she'll be along soon. But I suspect women love musicians who sing about feelings and emotions and longing. Death metal may not have the same effect, maybe those groupies just want to be with the guy on the stage, the alpha male leading the room. We used to have a female DJ here, she talked about how much she got hit on by guys. Likely for the same reason--the DJ is setting the pace, everyone gets to see the person on the stage, they become a target of interest since they can see everyone in the crowd everynight, and OMG, they choose meeeeeeee!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 101
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they know how to string along
Posted: 12/7/2016 6:27:32 PM


We used to have a female DJ here, she talked about how much she got hit on by guys. Likely for the same reason--the DJ is setting the pace, everyone gets to see the person on the stage, they become a target of interest since they can see everyone in the crowd everynight, and OMG, they choose meeeeeeee!


I have been DJ'ing in an amateur way for about 2 years now, have probably done about 20 events. I bought a pair of big PA speakers (15 inch woofers, 150 watt amp), stands, a good microphone. I have about 35,000 mp3 files on my computer, I take requests, play whatever the people want to hear.

And I have (so far) seen absolutely no benefit to my love life / sex life. I mean, yeah, I keep hoping, but in reality, no.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 102
they know how to string along
Posted: 12/8/2016 5:12:16 PM
well, gosh, Henry, y'gotta shake your ass when you're up there. Standing still while playing Pat Boone doesn't help much.

:)

no, i'm kidding, I can believe that looks help. Otherwise every nerdy College Radio DJ would be getting laid after his shift was done. I think Gilbert Godfried once dismissed the logic of making women laugh to get a date, that comedy never got him laid. Maybe the annoying voice didn't help.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 103
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they know how to string along
Posted: 12/8/2016 5:23:25 PM
Henry- just play some dubstep at 90 db, most of the males in your crowd will have a cardiac arrest, the women will hand you their panties, guaranteed!
 Fabreezey
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 104
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/9/2018 3:17:38 PM

Dating a nusican is bot avout being with them for the money its beibg wuth then for lov



So true. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder and gives you cirrhosis of the liver.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 105
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/10/2018 10:49:14 PM

We used to have a female DJ here, she talked about how much she got hit on by guys.


I know who you're talking about. She's on my Facebook, and yesterday was her birthday...haha.


Death metal may not have the same effect, maybe those groupies just want to be with the guy on the stage, the alpha male leading the room.


Death metal girls are whole lot of fun.

So I've heard.
 Akitahun
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 106
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/11/2018 1:33:12 AM
Dated one. Highly narciccistic. Spelled it wrong, I know. Everything had to be HIS way! PASS!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 107
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/13/2018 8:33:40 AM

Dating Musicians??????


If she can play my skin flute and hum a few bars...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 108
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/18/2018 9:58:50 AM
I'm a professional musician and I prefer playing weddings and festivals if I play live at all. Sometimes I do restaurant gigs with acoustic song/writers performers. My least favourite place to play is a bar. I know a lot of guys that earn their living just playing weddings. The pay you get at bars is chump change. I prefer doing studio work - recording songs my music students write, recording beats for church bands, recording original music, doing session work for other artists, producing songs for other artists, etc. Not every musician wants to be at the bar every weekend.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 109
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/18/2018 10:48:04 AM
Yeah musicians and artists. People i'd never date.
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 110
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/18/2018 11:06:54 AM
^^^^^^

You'll miss out on the some of the best.
:-)
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 111
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/18/2018 11:22:48 AM

The pay you get at bars is chump change.


Yep, the only thing you'll be feeding is your ego.


You'll miss out on the some of the best.
:-)


If you were near me, I would make it a point *not* to miss out.
 BombayBeach
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 112
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/20/2018 5:40:32 PM
Been there done that regarding musicians....never ever again. Unfaithful, narcissistic, self absorbed alley cats. Ugh.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 113
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Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/20/2018 6:47:05 PM

Been there done that regarding musicians....never ever again. Unfaithful, narcissistic, self absorbed alley cats. Ugh.


Your personal experience must mean every musician is exactly the same. Thank you for your insightful post.


Yep, the only thing you'll be feeding is your ego.


I've played in many cover bands and in general, I found that the audience hardly gives a crap about who's in the band. Doing original music seemed to pay off a lot more.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 114
Dating Musicians??????
Posted: 6/21/2018 6:37:39 AM

I've played in many cover bands and in general, I found that the audience hardly gives a crap about who's in the band. Doing original music seemed to pay off a lot more.


It's very different here. The only reason any of the men bother with the cover band bar gigs is because they can count on the "rockstar treatment'' from women. It's the only incentive. It has to be 70s-90s rock, though. Most won't book anything current. I and many others I know grew out of it long ago to move on to greener pastures.

We do have one venue that books mostly original prog-metal and djent style bands most of the others won't touch, though.
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