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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?      Home login  
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 NJ Denise
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 26
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?Page 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I agree with message # 3...that's just plain silly..let it be.
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 27
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:11:33 PM

I'm thinking that if she wanted to end our relationship the symbol that I gave her as my commitment to her and our relationship should be returned. What do you think?

I'm thinking why stop there? Get back all the time you spent together and the emotions you
shared and the love you showered her with as well!!

And while you're at it, try getting your memories back too.... hell, those might be worth something to ya someday.....

sheesh......
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 28
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:16:45 PM
I think that was a great ideal........ To bad I dont have a daughter or I would do that..... Maybe my sons wife to be wuold like that........
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 29
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:17:38 PM
Making a belly button ring for your Daughter was a great ideal
 Celtic_Angel
Joined: 9/2/2005
Msg: 30
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:33:28 PM
I gave my engagement and wedding ring set to my son when he wanted to get engaged while still in college and couldn't really afford to put out the money on a diamond.

I never would have worn it again but I am glad to see it is being enjoyed by my beautiful and charming daughter-in-law.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 31
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:05:22 PM
I understand your angry and lets be honest; your mad and you emotionally think she has a momento of you while being with someone else. Its a done deal and you'll never see it so dont' stress. Maybe in a way she also wants to keep it as a momento even though you guys might hate eachother.
 Steve0429
Joined: 1/8/2006
Msg: 32
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 1:08:16 PM
My ex-wife gave me back her ring before the divorce was final. I didn't ask for it, but I took it back. My intentions are to take her ring and mine remove the diamonds from each and have them put ino earrings, ring, or whatever our girls would like done with their share of diamonds. It will be part of each girl's graduation present from me.

I would not have ever asked for it back though. No need to rehash or live in the past.
 TheReason_
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 33
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:02:39 PM
I asked for the ring back when we originally split, I was hurt and confused, and didn't feel like she should have it. I put hers and mine together and stuck them somewhere. Then later on when we were "working on things" I gave it back. When the marriage ended for good I didn't bother asking for it back, seemed pointless.

I stuck mine up on a shelf at my parents place. About a year later I noticed my sister wearing it on her thumb (she wears a few rings) I laughed and said "hey I bet you found that on a shelf at mom and dad's right" She said that she did. I told her that I thought it was funny because it was my wedding ring. She asked if I wanted it back and I said "nah it looks good on you, keep it."

If I had of given my ex say my mom's wedding ring (an heirloom, she's still around) I would have asked for it back.
 ciaobaby71
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 34
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 4:59:56 PM
lol@post 23..."he's a good man and if he hadn't gone to prison".....Kinda seems like those two words don't belong in the same sentence...

And to the OP: Dude, let it go...why would you want it back seriously?
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 35
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:07:41 PM
Of course it's ok to ask.
Doubt you'd ever get it tho, but no harm in asking I suppose.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 36
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History
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:19:21 PM
My ex asked during our hearing. I wish I had a pic of the look on the judge's face! My lawyer had the "deer in the headlights" going on bigtime. I just shrugged, a little surprised as he'd never asked or mentioned it before.
The rings are considered a "gift" under Fla law, the judge very firmly apprised him of that.
To the OP, you can ask. If you had a legal right or claim, it would have been part of the settlement.
I think what's more important is why you'd want to ask or have them back.
I don't honestly think he wanted the rings, or anything else he asked for, it was just the fact that he didn't want me to have them.
It seems to be a power/control thing, I doubt the "rings" have any meaning to her, but they appear to mean something to you. That's what you need to think about.
 mogrl42
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 37
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History
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:21:01 PM
throw it over a bridge.....when its over its over.
 Leagueofextraordinarymen
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 38
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:30:39 PM
I don't think its right to ask, I can't think why either person would want to keep their rings.
Now just think to make things final you both walk down to the ocean (I said ocean, just because it's a little more like a romance novel, it could also be a cliff, the end to a good horror story, lol) now as you are holding hands you both take each others ring and toss them away, I wonder what thoughts would be swirling around in each others minds at that moment.
And if both of you could actually throw them away. I imagine most thoughts would be more in line with these; should I drown him /her while I have the chance or push him /her off the cliff:
 .Selena.
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 39
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:44:30 PM

However, it has been over a year since the divorce and she is seriously dating someone else and I'm thinking that if she wanted to end our relationship the symbol that I gave her as my commitment to her and our relationship should be returned. What do you think?


It took you a year to come to the conclusion that she should return the ring? What in heavens name have you been doing with your life?! If you waste a year pining after someone, after a DIVORCE no less, and then want to play silly games like "Give me back my stuff!" then I see why she divorced you. What would you do with the ring? Give it to another woman? Melt it and wear it? Give it to your kid (if you have any)? I'm sure there's no one that wants a bad luck ring anyway, so leave it be and move on. By the way, if you DO ask for the ring back, a year later, you'll be the butt of all jokes amongst your ex, her new man, and all their friends.


lol@post 23..."he's a good man and if he hadn't gone to prison".....Kinda seems like those two words don't belong in the same sentence..

Same reaction I had!!!
 Kingdongilingus
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 40
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:45:21 PM
That would be up to her Lawyer and the Judge, not you.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 41
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 5:50:41 PM
i gave him back the engagement ring - that represented a promise made that just involved the two of us

i kept the wedding ring - to pass on to my daughter/sons if they'd like it sometime, it's just a simple thin gold band, but it symbolizes a marriage they were part of... if they don't want it, then i'll probably offer it back to him or give it to salvation army or something
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 42
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:06:05 PM

What do you think?


op, it never passed my mind as too return rings as it was a gift of ones love and commitment.

I find that very swallow to ask for anything in return from anyone I have given to them!

Life goes and I hope you do too and if you can't hack it you might want to get a pet instead as you alwasys feed them they won't bit you in the yazoo! imo
 lilbee_71
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 43
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:21:01 PM
Just because your ex "surprised" you by asking for a divorce doesn't entitle you to have the rings back. You gave them to her, you were married and they were part of the marriage between the two of you. Whatever a woman does with a wedding set, ring or jewelry after a divorce has taken place is NONE of the man's business, unless like prior posters have mentioned........they are a family heirloom or you were awarded them in the split.

I think it would be in poor taste and entirely tacky on your part to even insinuate that she give the rings back...get over it, move on and live & learn.

When I divorced my ex, I had the diamond chips put in earrings for our daughter and am going to give them to her when she is older. The bigger stone I've had set into a necklace, which will again pass to our daughter when the time is appropriate. The smaller jewelry I hocked and threw myself a whopping divorced party!!!
 DocTheopolis
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 44
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:50:10 PM
Men's rings are cheap. I tossed mine in the pond where we had our wedding ceremony shortly after the divorce. This was when the pain was fresh and I was still bitter.

Women's rings, on the other hand, can be horribly expensive. I can understand feeling like you got "ripped off" to some extent, but it's best to just let it go. I think my ex plans to keep hers for our daughter, but whatever. Wouldn't bother me if she chose to just hock it or something.
 o0ochristinao0o
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 45
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 6:57:46 PM
Negative
Once something is given it's no longer yours no matter what it is. What about those who wait to have sex till there married, U think you can wave a wond and get that back now the marriage and love is over.. NEGATIVE... dimonds are forever hers and his to do what they like with.
 tinydancer123
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 46
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 7:16:11 PM
I think you have a point. I guess someone could argue reasons but the way you state it - it seems right to me.
 In2UnMe
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 47
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History
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:08:47 PM
Wow, thanks for all the feedback and great advice.

I was not asking for it back due to bitterness or in an attempt to hurt her...I've accepted the divorce and moved on. However, I recently lost my job and I'm strapped for cash and was wondering if the ring would be considered a gift to her, or was it more of a symbol of our love and of the commitment we made to each other to forever be in a elationship...therefore if she chose to no longer be in that relationship then should that "symbol" be returned?

I guess I'll ask her what her plans are for it. I liked the ideas about having the gold and stones made into jewelry for our children...what a neat idea!
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 48
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:16:34 PM
It almost sounds as though you are using wanting the ring back as lashing out at her. :-S To someone - on the outside looking in - seems rather petty whether it is or not.

Spending time even thinking about such things is negative. Call it energy, vibes, karma, thought, feelings, emotions - whatever. Bottom line - negative energy is not good for you. It will only bring on more.

Let it go and with it - her.
 BelieveTheHype
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 49
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:26:28 PM
When I decided that I'd had enough abuse in my marriage, I walked under the thought that I'd given more than enough financially, emotionally, and in tears. The engagement ring was very important symbolically, and as such I didn't think that she deserved to retain that symbol as what it represented was no more. The fact that it could be sold at a good five figures didn't hurt in the thought that I wanted it back as well -- to recoup the financial stress from the divorce and supporting a destitute woman for as long as I did. At the end, she saw the writing on the wall, hid the ring, which I'm sure she either has or sold. That's her business -- in the end, she is out of my life which is a gift. No cost, no amount of money, no symbolic reference was too expensive a price for me to have paid to be through with her. Let her go, and let her have the ring.
 DDVELVETGIRL
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 50
Is it ok to ask for your wedding ring back after divorce?
Posted: 4/18/2008 8:36:31 PM
No you cannot ask for the ring back. Give me a break. You bought it for her so it is hers to keep and do with as she pleases. If that means selling, taking apart and making something new. Time to get on with your life and forget about the ring. That would be being a Indian Giver. What would you do with it? wear it yourself? Sounds like you are spending too much time thinking about 'YOUR EX!"
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