Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  >      Home login  
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 26
Mentally retarded story??? opinions?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Well, some people aren't meant to have handicapped kids. I would be one of those, not that it's ever come up. But I bet if you ask the parents, they know they have a hard life, but love their son, anyway. In the olden days, the docs would quietly allow the babies to die if they were somehow "defective" (conjoined, Down's, whatever) and would just tell the family that the baby died. Now the docs don't have that option, and I agree with OP, it sucks for the rents.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 28
Mentally retarded story??? opinions?
Posted: 4/20/2008 8:06:40 PM

Wooby: Just to clarify "mental retardation" and "learning disabilities" are not the same thing. Learning disabilities can be something that just affects a person's ability to read something the way others do, such as dyslexia. Many people with learning disabilities live perfectly normal lives.

Technically, you're absolutely right. I was more going by my daughter-in-law's mother's version. My DIL has an IQ of 79. According to her mother, she has "learning disabilities."

This is what the Wikipedia has to say on the sujbect:

The term "retardation" was originally a euphemism to replace previous designations such as "idiot", imbecile," and "moron", which were originally scientific terms that acquired pejorative connotations in popular discourse over time. The term "mental retardation" has itself now acquired pejorative and shameful connotations over the last few decades due to the euphemism treadmill, leading to still further euphemisms such as "mentally handicapped" or "special".

* In North America the broad term developmental delay has become an increasingly preferred synonym by many parents and direct support professionals. Elsewhere, however, developmental delay is generally used to imply that appropriate intervention will improve or completely eliminate the condition, allowing for "catching up." Importantly, this term carries the emotionally powerful idea that the individual's current difficulties are likely to be temporary.
* Developmental disability is preferred by most physicians, but can also refer to any other physical or psychiatric delay, such as delayed puberty.
* The phrase intellectual disability is increasingly being used as a synonym for people with significantly below-average IQ.[1] These terms are sometimes used as a means of separating general intellectual limitations from specific, limited deficits as well as indicating that it is not an emotional or psychological disability. Intellectual disability is also used to describe the outcome of traumatic brain injury or lead poisoning or dementing conditions such as Alzheimer's disease. It is not specific to congenital conditions like Down syndrome.

The American Association on Mental Retardation continued to use the term mental retardation until 2006.[2] In June 2006 its members voted to change the name of the organisation to the "American Association on Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities," rejecting the options to become the AAID or AADD. Part of the rationale for the double name was that many members worked with people with pervasive developmental disorders, most of whom are not mentally retarded.[3]

Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 31
view profile
Mentally retarded story??? opinions?
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:46:33 AM

My main issue is.... if we can (and as some here have pointed out, you can never be 100% sure) tell before birth that a child is going to be born with a disability that will result in them needing 24 hour care for the rest of their life.... would you choose to abort if abortion was still an option at that stage of the pregnancy? I personally would.


Technically speaking, choosing to abort would never be YOUR option. It would be the option of the woman carrying your child. If the doctor came to you both with this news, and she said she wanted to keep the child, what would you do then? Would you provide for the child financially, but turn your back emotionally?

Truth is, you can't see into the future and say for sure that you would handle a situation in exactly that way. Sometimes you don't know 100% what you will do until it's actually presented to you. One thing I've learned along the bumpy road that is life is to never say never.
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 60
view profile
Mentally retarded story??? opinions?
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:06:34 PM

in circumstances such as the one mentioned above, (if possible) i would opt for an abortion.. and think it's the only decent thing to do in such a circumstance. I don't think it would be morally wrong. (I'm an atheist anyway and actually I only believe in the sanctity of life if there is some kind, even small a measure of quality) I think that an abortion in those cases, it would spare other people's lives. (the parents)

That sentiment fits well with the Nazi agenda: do away with all "defectives."

Famous people with autism:

* Jane Austen, 1775-1817, English novelist, author of Pride and Prejudice (see above)
* Béla Bartók, 1881-1945, Hungarian composer
* Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827, German/Viennese composer
* AMENDED Alexander Graham Bell, 1847-1922, Scottish/Canadian/American inventor of the telephone
* Anton Bruckner, 1824-1896, Austrian composer
* Henry Cavendish, 1731-1810, English/French scientist, discovered the composition of air and water
* Emily****nson, 1830-1886, US poet
* Thomas Edison, 1847-1931, US inventor
* Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, German/American theoretical physicist
* Henry Ford, 1863-1947, US industrialist
* Kaspar Hauser, c1812-1833, German foundling, portrayed in a film by Werner Herzog
* Oliver Heaviside, 1850-1925, English physicist
* Thomas Jefferson, 1743-1826, US politician
* NEW Carl Jung, 1875-1961, Swiss psychoanalyst
* Franz Kafka, 1883-1924, Czech writer
* Wasily Kandinsky, 1866-1944, Russian/French painter
* H P Lovecraft, 1890-1937, US writer
* Ludwig II, 1845-1886, King of Bavaria
* Charles Rennie Mackintosh, 1868-1928, Scottish architect and designer
* NEW Gustav Mahler, 1860-1911, Czech/Austrian composer
* Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, 1756-1791, Austrian composer
* Isaac Newton, 1642-1727, English mathematician and physicist
* Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900, German philosopher
* Bertrand Russell, 1872-1970, British logician
* George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish playwright, writer of Pygmalion (see above), critic and Socialist
* Richard Strauss, 1864-1949, German composer
* Nikola Tesla, 1856-1943, Serbian/American scientist, engineer, inventor of electric motors
* Henry Thoreau, 1817-1862, US writer
* Alan Turing, 1912-1954, English mathematician, computer scientist and cryptographer
* Mark Twain, 1835-1910, US humorist
* Vincent Van Gogh, 1853-1890, Dutch painter
* Ludwig Wittgenstein, 1889-1951, Viennese/English logician and philosopher

Historical people prominent in the late twentieth century (died after 1975)

* Isaac Asimov, 1920-1992, Russian/US writer on science and of science fiction, author of Bicentennial Man (see above)
* Hans Asperger, 1906-1980, Austrian paediatric doctor after whom Asperger's Syndrom is named
* John Denver, 1943-1997, US musician
* Glenn Gould, 1932-1982, Canadian pianist
* Jim Henson, 1936-1990, creator of the Muppets, US puppeteer, writer, producer, director, composer
* Alfred Hitchcock, 1899-1980, English/American film director
* NEARLY NEW Howard Hughes, 1905-1976, US billionaire
* Andy Kaufman, 1949-1984, US comedian, subject of the film Man on the Moon
* L S Lowry, 1887-1976, English painter of "matchstick men"
* Charles Schulz, 1922-2000, US cartoonist and creator of Peanuts and Charlie Brown
* Andy Warhol, 1928-1987, US artist

Contemporary famous people

* Woody Allen, 1935-, US comedian, actor, writer, director, producer, jazz clarinettist
* Tony Benn, 1925-, English Labour politician
* Bob Dylan, 1941-, US singer-songwriter
* Joseph Erber, 1985-, young English composer/musician who has Asperger's Syndrome, subject of a BBC TV documentary
* Bobby Fischer, 1943-, US chess champion
* Bill Gates, 1955-, US global monopolist
* Genie, 1957-?, US "wild child" (see also L'Enfant Sauvage, Victor, above)
* Crispin Glover, 1964-, US actor
* Al Gore, 1948-, former US Vice President and presidential candidate
* Jeff Greenfield, 1943-, US political analyst/speechwriter, a political wonk
* David Helfgott, 1947-, Australian pianist, subject of the film Shine
* Michael Jackson, 1958-, US singer
* Garrison Keillor, 1942-, US writer, humorist and host of Prairie Home Companion
* Kevin Mitnick, 1963-, US "hacker"
* John Motson, 1945-, English sports commentator
* NEW John Nash, 1928-, US mathematician (portrayed by Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, USA 2001)
* Keith Olbermann, 1959-, US sportscaster
* Michael Palin, 1943-, English comedian and presenter
* Keanu Reeves, 1964-, Lebanese/Canadian/US actor
* Oliver Sacks, 1933-, UK/US neurologist, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Awakenings
* James Taylor, 1948-, US singer/songwriter

My, wouldn't the world have been a better place without all these "defective" people?

OP does have a point. Some people shouldn't be parents. Ever.
Joined: 7/26/2004
Msg: 66
Mentally retarded story??? opinions?
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:43:58 AM
OP ... Amniocentesis as well as ultrasound can be used to detect genetic and congenital abnormalities of fetuses.

While these tests can be used to detect abnormalities, they are not 100% positive. More often than not, they return with percentages, none of which are all that accurate. If you want percentages on whether or not your child is going to be disabled, then I can give you those, and I'm not even a doctor.

When a woman is pregnant and knows the child will be born with a handicap, this is a decision that is a very personal one for the parents.

However, the woman can never know 100% if the child is going to be born witha disability. Besides, according to most research, 75% - 100% of all people will experience a disability in their lifetime.

So for anyone who thinks that we should abort anyone who has the possibility of having a disability, I think I just justified genocide of the entire human race for you.
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 74
Mentally retarded story??? opinions?
Posted: 5/25/2009 11:15:08 PM
op, if you dont have kids, you can have no way of knowing yet, just how incredibly strong , the bond with a child doesnt matter what the problems are, they are still your kids!

parents had to take him to the toilet... pretty much walk him everywhere.. (He was not in a wheelchair), they had to feed him etc etc etc

as for the above, yes, i would go with him to the toilet too, kids like this are very vulnerable, he may be able to toilet himself, but not deal with the people he may meet in there, as far as feeding him, sometimes people with disabilities are not very tidy eaters, and parents often find it draws less attention if they help.

don't know how early in a pregnancy it is possible to tell whether a new baby will be born mentally retarded. There must be tests that are done that can tell...

there are many, many things that cant be detected before birth, regardless of ethics/personal feelings etc, and of course the many things that can happen after, caused by illness, accident and so on.
even small a measure of quality) I think that an abortion in those cases, it would spare other people's lives. (the parents)
quality of life is definitely in the eye of the beholder....what you or i might consider quality is in no way the definitive measure.......and so many parents i talk to , who have profoundly disabled kids, wouldnt change them for the world
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  >