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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Date women with or without kids      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kusho50
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 16
Date women with or without kidsPage 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

(aka sexually irresponsible parasite looking to bleed dry and mock some poor unsuspecting mug who wanted no more than to love and support her and her litter of ungrateful **stards)


ROFLMAO. Wow a girl with a sence of humor.

Thanks to both last two posts. Both very good. Tamer-proof eh? Curious if you saying this as a myth... but you know. ;)

Oh and on the how many Japanese women are out there? Not enough in St. Louis. That for certian. I'm come to see that St. Louis people mostly just suck. Not just the women. Or any such stereotype.

Maybe long term answer is to fully get fluent and move back to Japan. But that a hard nut to crack also.

Need a job for a visa. Need a visa for a job... Loop to infinenty and square and you can see the delema.

I honestly think mostly I wanted to vent about crappy women I had met and the stereotypes I have been seeing that are seeming to hold true. Also think more of the girls on dating sites like this have kids... as easier way to meet people when you don't have as much free time.

But then meet people in a bar... and stateside bars it assumed right from the start that if you going to talk that right from the start you just trying to hook up.

Anyway. I just love to point out the dilemas.
 kusho50
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 17
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:06:31 PM

I've found single moms to be much more forgiving of my faults than the "upwardly mobile, goal-oriented" childless women my age, but I'm not wanting to stereotype at all. It's just my experience so far.


I could see that. Haven't run into that type... but probally still off their radar. :) (Not rich by any shape or means)
 WhistlePiggy
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 6/19/2008 6:36:47 AM
I think the strangest ones are the ones who are dating and have a kid less than 1 year old, or even a toddler. Very odd, I can't help but think that they are some kind of "breeder" for a cult or something.
 grkboy
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 19
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 7/18/2008 4:28:18 PM

Why can't you blame them??? Nobody forced these women to have sex out of wedlock. Nobody forced them not to give the child up for adoption. Nobody forced them to pick a bad man to conceive with. These were ALL CHOICES. LOTS of BAD choices. There's NOTHING wrong with calling someone on making stupid mistakes.
Sure, we all make mistakes, but STUPID mistakes are not worthy of pity and only worthy of disdain.


Again, you believe ALL single moms are burned out party girls who picked bad boys and got knocked up. I can totally see it when you meet the woman who actually was the irresponsible one in her past and willingly made bad decisions. I've respectfully called women out like this when they rejected me in the past to chase bad boys, then came back years later with a child, telling me how they always loved me. I knew it was a crock and these particular women wanted me as a last resort.

HOWEVER, can you suddenly decide to condemn the woman who married what seemed to be a decent man, had children, did everything the "right way", but then found him in bed one night with his secretary? We condemn her? What about the wives and mothers whose husbands were killed in Iraq? We condemn them?

Adoption? Abortion? Easy things for you to say because they're not your children. Sounds more like you're complaining that you want the world to change just for you so there will be a plethora of childless women out there, even if the children are "cast away" to nothingness.

You don't like single moms, then don't date them, but don't complain when that's your only options. Makes me more think you just aren't good enough to attract a childless woman.


Really?? I remember being very upfront with this and two things happened!
a) I was called shallow, or
b) They refused to listen thinking I would change my mind!

So homeboy, the problem is that they can't handle it! Some are not even up front about it and will let you know a "secret" a few dates down the road at which point the male


Did you actually date her? Or met her somewhere and simply told her the truth?

If you dated her (and knew she had kids) then you dug your own hole. If she didn't tell you til the date, or you met her somewhere and told her upfront, then she's in the wrong. It's like when I've met very obese women who came on to me, I politely declined, and they chose to hate me publicly as opposed to showing me respect and politeness in return to mine.

People will be childish...it unfortunately happens. It's like when an immature male calls a woman a "cunt" or "****" because she gave him an honest and polite rejection.


My question on all of this is why is it soo many women don't know what birth control is or don't stay together. This an attack on American morals, not on single moms. I can't tell you how many Japanese women I met that were 30+ and didn't have any kids. And awesome chicks. It is rare, and I mean rare to find an American woman 30+ without kids.


Kusho, the problem is simply that at our ages (I'm 34), women are getting married and having kids, like what our parents did. Some are just having kids with their boyfriends. The ones who don't believe in marriage, but more in cohabitation.

Relationships fall apart, it happens...people break up, but it's not like a kid is something you can pack away in the closet and move on. Things change and they have to adjust, but it doesn't mean they want to give up on love.

PLUS...you and I are MEN. We don't worry about children the way women do. I tell you, it's amazing how many women around my age are absolutely paranoid about the idea that they might miss out on their chance to be mothers because they can't seem to find a decent guy who wants to commit. We can go on about if they're still setting their standards too high, but this is a real concern with many women out there. They get the maternal instinct way harder than us men. You can't blame them for deciding to procreate unless they're doing it with no means to care for the children.

Only women I've seen who don't want kids are either party girls who want to stay "pretty" and party forever...or career-minded women who see children as "not for them".

ALSO...for the attack on American morals. I'm a male, but even I've seen way too many times our gender fail miserably when they were supposed to own up and be men. You put your penis into the vagina, you take the risks of having children. From there you need to own up and be a man...not run like so many guys do. Not cheat because you feel bored with monogamy.

We men need to teach morals to our own gender first. Build a new image of masculinity, responsibility, and morality. Not the current image of childish and horny.
 crazyone77
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 20
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 7/18/2008 7:44:43 PM
I have found dating a woman with one kid is great. i love kids and want some one day myself. usually i find a woman with 2 or more kids. i just don't think i could take that on myself. i have had a few younger women flirt with me. i am the same way i guess age really don't matter but i just feel guilty about talking to them. guess i have been burnt to many time by younger woman that love the clubs. what i don't guess they know is i have been in the clubs to many times i know what goes on in them. i am not saying every woman that goes in a club is bad. i just tend to stay away from them. well just wanted to let you know i have some of the same problems you do. it always makes me feel a little better if someone is haveing the same problems as i am.
 esteban91075
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 21
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 7/29/2008 3:54:38 PM
I married a single mother of a beautiful 3yr old little girl and although it ulitmately did not work out; I learned a lot from the experience.

Proposing to this woman was one of the toughest decisions I've made. I never really liked kids and the thought of taking on the package deal at 28 while I was still a swinging unattached bachelor was tough. I felt like I had a lot to offer, I was a young educated professional, a CPA, and beginning a career in commercial real estate. There was a debate inside me whether I should wait for an unattached woman to come along. At the same time I thought this woman was amazing and I didn't want to let her go.

When they first moved in, my initial reaction was "Wow, this little girl is going to live with me!" I was actually surprised that over the 4 year period I became a better father than I initally thought. We really became close and developed a father/daughter relationship.

Now the problem with the relationship can be summed up in how she initially told me she got pregnant in the first place. This of course was 4 years before I met her. She told me that the illegal drugs that she was using at the time interacted with her birth control so she inadvertently got pregnant by a guy she was having casual sex with.

BIG RED FLAG!

The OP said that his girl told him she had two kids from her "Clubbin Days"

BIG RED FLAG!

Utimately, my ex decided her partying drugs days were'nt behind her just as the OP found out that his ex still wanted to go clubbin.

I think these situations are a little different than than the woman that loses her husband to an untimely death or someone that walks aways from a bad relationship. I guess it really comes down to the emotional health and stabillity of the woman. Although the single mother scenario is not my ideal, I think I would consider it depending on the situation, number of children (preferably no more than 1), and the woman.

I had grown to a point to where I found my place as a father. I would still be a father if it wasn't for the drug addiction and infidelity. Bye, the way she did leave me with all the debt as well. Its funny how that seems to be common amongst the divorced men on this thread.

My other observations are that yes unattached woman do seem to be more flighty and noncommital and my experience dating Japanese woman has been simiilar to the OP. I never met a Japanese single mother.
 Frisky Monkey
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 22
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 7/30/2008 9:57:21 AM
It isn't an opinion. It's a fact. Having kids makes you less desirable. Except to those who want an instant family or something like that.
 esteban91075
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 23
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 7/30/2008 10:11:05 AM
I never said there were no Japanese single mothers nor did I claim to be an expert on the subject. My observation was based upon my experience dating Japanese woman who where in their 30's. None of the Japanese woman I dated had children and none of their friends were single mothers either. This was just my experience. I'm sure they are out there. I'm not exactly sure how the % of Japanese single mothers compares to the country as a whole. I'm sure there is some research on that subject somewhere on the net but its really not worth the effort to find.
 esteban91075
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 24
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:58:18 PM
Its an individual choice. Some guys can deal with it some can't. I tried it once; I won't do it again. I co-sign Randy's posts. I'm single, educated, and unattached. I'm looking for the same.
 esteban91075
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 25
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:11:25 PM
I did notice something that seems to allude to my preference when it comes to dating single mothers. I've found that its typically a lot easier dating a single mother if they have a good relationship with ex husband/boyfriend and if they have a good support system. Without those things in place it seems very difficult for them to break away.
With those things you have a better opportunity to share time alone on a consistent basis.

For an unattached single guy like myself, its easier to deal with woman that have less time constraints be it kids or other commitments.
 Fried Chicken
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 26
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:15:16 AM

Single mothers taking care of their children, especially those doing it full time while holding a job or (gasp!!) tryong to also get back to school are horrible and should be avoided at all costs by every single man.

Oh they're not horrible, just not worth the time. They make great friends though, but as a dating partner? No. They just don't have time to take off on random adventures.
 Fried Chicken
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 27
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 8/9/2008 2:56:20 AM
Single moms aren't bad people. Just that some of us guys really don't want to have to deal with the extra baggage they refer to lovingly as 'kids.'
 esteban91075
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 28
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:02:28 AM
Ok, my experience having dated and married a single mother is this. If your a single unattached guy you better be very giving because this relationship requires a lot of sacrafice. Make sure she's worth it. Especially if she doesn't have a support system in place. No friends, family, or supportive kids dad = no alone time or fun trips.

Its not worth it for me. No more single moms until there are no unattached women left.
 Fried Chicken
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 29
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 8/10/2008 1:15:44 AM

Exactly, being a mother is YOUR situation. Just because a young-childless man doesn't want to be involved in your SITUATION, doesn't make him an idiot ,moron nor makes him close minded.
We can smell the anger and desperation from your posts. You have to realize that NOT everybody thinks or feels the same way you do.

Perfectly said!
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 30
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 9/16/2008 8:45:29 AM
I think that closing yourself off to anything like "has children" is shallow and foolish. It's not like every woman (or man) with children is the same. Find the person that makes you feel special and fortunate to have them in your life. Accept the other factors in their life (like children or the lack of children) as a part of who they are.
 the_write_stuff
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 31
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:11:46 PM
A few years ago I would have preferred dating a woman without children in hopes of the two of us having our own together. However, given the fact that I'm now nearly 40, have diabetes and have never fathered a child, I think the chances of that are pretty remote or at least far less likely. So, in light of that, and seeing as how I love kids, I have absolutely no qualms about dating a woman with children.

I suppose my only reservation would be those who have unruly teenagers or adult children who continue to cause problems for their mothers. You know the types....juvenile delinquents (literally) or those who never leave the nest or get a job (they just suck off the familial teet until its dry), those who are just otherwise incorrigible and make their mother's lives a living hell. Other than those type scenarios, I have no problems as I stated (although I'd prefer the children to be younger just for the fact I'd enjoy helping raise them and watching them grow).
 good
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 32
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 10/29/2008 5:16:43 PM


Single mothers taking care of their child(ren), especially those doing it full time while holding a full time job or (gasp!!) trying to also get through full time school while supporting their small family are horrible and should be avoided at all costs.

Just say no!!

I mean, look at the values those horrible women display on a daily basis!
Who in his right mind would want a strong, responsible for her choices woman, who's (can u believe the nerve) willing and capable of stepping up to the plate in place of some small-time loser crook deadbeat daddy!

Pfft!

Those women are totally evil.


I said it before, I'll say it again.
Some women (who happen to have had a child) just want a man for themselves, not a "daddy" of any kind.
I'd personally avoid anyone who has more than two "baby daddy" or "baby mamas" or the long-term welfare crew though.

 mcfly762
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 33
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:10:58 AM
That's a pretty bad thing to say. I'm not judging anybody and people have to deal with with their own decisions in life the best they can. Not you. Get off your moral BS."

The truth hurts, but the dude was right.
 mcfly762
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 34
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:22:37 AM
"That goes for guys too, after all it takes a man and woman to make a baby.
I'm just uterly sickened with all these stupid comments from stupid men.
Asian women stay away!!!!"


The guys who are making these comments are not the same type of guys that are getting these women pregnant.
 mcfly762
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 35
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:34:11 AM
"yeah your right hun.. let the morons stay away from us and our children thats what i say.. so yeah avoid us at all costs.. cause we dont have the time to deal with idiots like these men.. small minded****eads.... go find your single girls with no attachments men!!!! and "

Funny how the guy calls you on your irresponsible, immoral behavior (if there were no truth in it, why would you be so insulted?)....and then you band together and attack him like a pack of wolves.
 mcfly762
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 36
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:34:45 AM
"Excuse me kush..but why is it that women only are responsible for birth control, especially when it fails and produces a child..It takes two to tango here..Men do the impregnating so lets hold BOTH of them responsible for birth control, not just her..All those American women didnt have kids by themselves"

No, but when they sleep with dirtbags, what do they expect?
 mcfly762
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 37
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 11/23/2008 12:11:40 PM
Here's a youtube video some dude made that discusses this topic:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gn2toLBHJa8
 kusho50
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 38
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 1/9/2009 1:42:48 PM
QUOTE--- "Excuse me kush..but why is it that women only are responsible for birth control, especially when it fails and produces a child..It takes two to tango here..Men do the impregnating so lets hold BOTH of them responsible for birth control, not just her..All those American women didnt have kids by themselves"
-------------
Do you remember the part about "I DON"T HAVE KIDS!!!"

So yes, Shame on the boys that did it as well.

That said, I can't begin to tell you how many women that on first or second time are all like, you don't need that, I don't like condoms... I'm on the pill... Hell I've been shown a thing of pills, to find out that was her moms pills... Oh please cum in me, I love the feeling... etc.. etc..

Now theres not a quicker way to turn me off than saying that line.

Had a chick that said that because she was on her period and it KILLED the mood for me.
 kusho50
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 39
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 1/9/2009 2:18:49 PM
Rolling laughing at the post. I've had this discussion with friends who are also women, asking about this... and normal I hear is women like to date guys they feel like will protect them. So are attracted to as*holes....

His is with more anger than my post. WOW. Lol.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=gn2toLBHJa8

And yes, I have gotten hate mail since I started this forum. 1 year later, and I have basically figured out the online odds tend to be 20/1 (guys to girls) and even of that it tends to be more the single moms online as they don't go out... etc... etc...

Was being hopeful for the non club scene... but tend to meet better people at church, college, orchestra, friends, etc... etc...

Wow on this link. His rant is just too much. There's something to be said about this as well though.

So the women let the stupid as*holes have their offspring, and us smart nice guys who know how to protect themselves get stuck raising the kids of the guys that run. Thus breeding the traits of those types of guys into the gene pool.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 40
Date women with or without kids
Posted: 1/22/2009 5:59:26 AM
I am 38 with no kids. And that has been by choice. I realized during my marriage, he was not the one to get knocked up by and have to deal with the rest of my life. I did not want to end up a single mom or a "statistic". I am finding however, some men will not date me because I do not have any kids. And that is fine, really. Dating someone with kids means if it becomes serious, they become part of your life. And also, you have to be prepared to be dealing with an "x", past in laws and a lot of things come into play that some people do not really think about. The one probelm I have found when meeting men with kids is they sometimes act like their new "mate" comes "second". Here is the deal. If you want a relationship, sex, housework, all that happy horse shit, treat the other person as an "equal". Sure, your children need to be taken care of but so does your new mate. When you married your x, I am sure he or she was not chopped liver!! If people want a new family scenario, then everyone needs to be treated as such. I think you can date someone with kids, just be prepared for a lot of added things. Sometimes I think I am pretty fortunate I do not have any. I see more people going through more bullshit these days over kids and "x's". Like life is not hard enough as it is. I have even seen relationships end over kids. We are supposed to enjoy life, not complicate it. I would date someone with children as long as it is an under control situation. Meaning, they have mutual agreements on the children and how they dicipline/ raise, child support is being paid, ...basically an under control situation. If there is constant fighting, disagreements and drama, I want NOTHING to do with it. Not only does this affect the people starting the relationship, the kids are normally pretty messed up as well, and it just is not a good thing.
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