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 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 346
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?Page 15 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

At the bar, there was no question that she wanted me to take her home. We only spoke for about five minutes and she said, "Take me home and f*** me.

Excuse me! Lets stop acting so pious shall we!?? I`m going by what this woman stated to this man.. Nothing more nothing less. Her primal urge was to get laid that night and she succeed. maybe, you need to re-read the OP`s post, before you attack anyone here.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 347
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 11:41:25 AM
I never felt comfortable taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex because I felt it was taking advanatage of the girl being drunk.



This past weekend I did for the for the first time. At the bar, there was no question that she wanted me to take her home. We only spoke for about five minutes and she said, "Take me home and f*** me." She was definitely drunk, but not completely wasted. If she was drunk on her ass, I would not have taken her home. The next morning, I took her home. She barely said a word to me and it appeared she regretted what happend the previous night.



He should have stuck with his own
rule to begin with considering he knew
She was drunk and he would be taking
Advantage of her.

Then he changed his tune to suit his choice
To f*ck her by claiming she wasn't "completely
Wasted" or drunk "on her a$$".

He had no idea how drunk she was or how in capable
She was of giving consent,all he heard was her
Drunken words.

"Take me home and f*ck "me after 5 minutes
Of talking to her!

Good rule of thumb?

No sober enough chick will ask for that within
5 minutes.

Red flag: she's too drunk to f*ck.

And just because your friends rape wasted
Girls doesn't mean you should.

What you did is no better than them.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 348
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 11:59:22 AM
http://blogs.findlaw.com/blotter/2013/03/what-is-rape-by-intoxication.html
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 349
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 12:06:44 PM
"Take me home and f*ck "me after 5 minutes
Of talking to her!


I am going to disagree with the ladies on this one.

There was a time when I was younger and I went to clubs. There were women that went to these clubs to dance, some to get free drinks from guys, some to get free drugs and drinks from guys, and some that went there to get laid, and some that went there to get both.

I have absolutely no sympathy for these girls. You could see one stumbling out of the club with a guy they just met 5 minutes ago. You could see the same girl the next week with someone else. These women were not raped, they wanted to fvck, they got fvcked. They did not want conversation, they wanted to get high, they wanted to fvck, just that simple.

I had a roommate one time and he picked up one of these girls at a club. Him and some other guy took her to our apartment and fvcked her all night. When I got home that evening, from having no luck at some other club, they were drinking on the living room. They told me about the girl and that if I wanted I could go into the bed room and fvck her as well, she didn't mind, they said.

I was disgusted by the idea. Half an our later she came out of the bedroom smiling in a semi state of drunkenness as asked if anyone had any coke.

As nasty as this may sound, they, ALL OF THEM were consenting adults doing what they wanted to do. Not too long after that, I saw the same girl at a different club with someone other than my roommate.

I never developed a taste for club girls.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 350
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 2:19:25 PM
1)kudos for you, basilisk. I did a similar thing back at university. More should act like men, and not worry about what others think about ruining the party.

2)that being said, yes, I HAVE had female acqaintances mentioning they used booze as an excuse to be a not-so-nice girl. They want what they want, but they don't want to "get the blame" for wanting a hot guy's bod. They also weren't the most secure women around, and--to further annoy women:)--I will say again that an insecure drunk woman isn't going to be good enough in bed to risk doing the wrong thing in life. Even if you can't be concerned with what she thinks, why trade legal hassle for mediocre sex? Might as well just do the right thing, and stay hands off....so you can go home and get hands on in peace :)

BUT, I'm a dude who likes to avoid problems by not asking them to show up on my front door. As I like to say, Every day, I have to shave--I might as well like what I see in the mirror.

Sometimes, doing what's best for you actually DOES end up being what's right for others :) But everyone's mileage may vary.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 351
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 7:33:53 PM
Let me guess, no protection was used, right?? Correct me if I am wrong. Of course she regrets it, apart from the STDs you may have given or gotten from her. You took advantage of her, so dont try to justify your behaviour. I think it is pathetic that you would choose to have sex with a girl that did not have all her wits about her.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 352
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History
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 9:49:16 PM
1st, as an attorney, currently inactive, the current state of the law, and which is being hammered into our college youth (perhaps a bit overwhelmingly) is there has to be an affirmative agreement to engage in any manner of sexual activity. As I understand it, the local U is teaching there has to be a continuing affirmation for each escalation. "She didn't say no," is not an acceptable argument. There's more to this - but it's late and I would rather not bore anyone with case studies and classroom arguments.

For me personally, having never been an aficionado of the bar scene, I cannot testify to the proclivities of bar women. Frankly, that is a breed of woman I would rather not know. If that is the only type of woman a certain type of man can get ..., perhaps they deserve each other.

I, though, prefer a sober woman - a woman who can give her assent with not only her body but with her mind, heart, and, dare I say it, her spirit. I'm not looking for an oblivious hole to copulate with - isn't that what the fleshlight was made for?, but to lovingly and respectfully engage in physical intimacy.

TK
[I knew there was something I missed]
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 353
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/24/2014 10:13:16 PM
1). Go to a bar or club and try to find someone sober enough to legally consent to sex. Around here that can't be done after 10PM (unless you count DD's, but the national DUI rate implies those aren't being used much).

2). People go to bars to "hook-up" all the time. (not really the best place to look for your next LTR)

3). Following the logic of some other posts here, I draw the conclusion that anyone who goes home with someone from a bar and engages in sexual intercourse is raped.

Does that only apply to females? Because the men are just as incapable of consent and, yet, sex was had.

Are men, in the infinite wisdom of the universe, expected to be "less drunk" than a woman "incapable" of consent?
Where is the line?
Isn't it odd that we tell men: if you go out drinking and looking to get laid, make sure the woman is sober (enough for sex).
And we tell women all the ways to attract men INSTEAD of telling them not to get wasted or men will try to have sex with you.

But it's okay. Blame men. We can take it.
Go ahead, call me a rapist, too.
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 354
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/25/2014 4:50:27 AM
Lots of denial going on here in regards to this topic. Women have urges just like men do, and sometimes use alcohol as a way of gaining confidence to walk up to a man, and say what they feel.. There isn`t anything wrong with doing that, nor, is it wrong to be attracted to someone and just have sex, with no strings attached.

Yet, it seems this forum is so PC, that anyone who has a different opinion is attacked and grilled for not being just like them...
Taking a woman home and having sex isn`t rape, nor should it be considered such... I believe a person is responsible for their own actions, regardless of their intake of alcohol...
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 355
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/25/2014 4:54:26 PM
It may not be considered rape. But if a woman was completely hammered, I wouldn't try to take advantage of that particular situation.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 356
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/25/2014 7:05:54 PM
Charminc, absolutely brilliant. You said it all. There is a double standard, men are encouraged to get laid as often as possible as a proof of their manhood but denigrates the woman who wants it too. Totally screwed up, if you ask me. Only those who respect themselves can respect others. Enough said.
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 357
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/26/2014 4:26:01 AM

There is a double standard, men are encouraged to get laid as often as possible as a proof of their manhood but denigrates the woman who wants it too
..
If this was the 1930`s i`d agree with you, but, its not! Today, an independent woman, more often than not drinks way more than a man, and, does as she pleases..
There are no more double standards, in society and there are plenty of women who are on the prowl, looking to get laid, just as much as there are men, seeking the samething...
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 358
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/26/2014 5:07:23 AM
When she says NO....


Taking drunk women home and having sex with them is just sleazy and irresponsible on BOTH parts imo...
If you need to get drunk in order to have a sexual encounter then you seriously need to have a look at the reasons behind that, regardless of gender...
I spoke to a guy a couple of weeks ago on the phone prior to meeting and he told me that HE is that way...Said that he really can't have sex unless he's "had a few"...Needless to say ...There was NO meeting...
As an adult it IS your responsibility to own your choices whether you are drunk or sober...
Note, that I said CHOICES...
Anyone who is not conscious and or too drunk to give/ask for consent, should have the presence of mind of ANY adult to not put themselves in a potentially compromising situation, nor take advantage of someone who HAS...and err on the side of caution and just say no...
As someone else said...drunk/semi conscious PEOPLE are really NOT that fun to have sex with in the FIRST place...unless you're into necrophilia and/or too insecure to have sex otherwise...
If you are incapable of making good choices when you are drunk, as MOST people are and don't want to pay the consequences for that, ie.STDs, false allegations of rape etc.
Then you are responsible for assuring that you do NOT get drunk in the first place...
As for men being equally drunk in those situations...read above....
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 359
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/26/2014 11:03:40 AM
Nowadays, unless the girl is straight, sober, and has a letter of legal permission from her lawyer, it is considered rape.
 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 360
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/26/2014 8:09:18 PM
Only fools seeking prison time will have sex with someone who is drunk. Drunk = Unable to Give Consent. It's not worth it.
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 361
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 3:26:30 AM
An alarming number of Australians believe that violence towards women and rape can be excused and blame the victim, particularly if she is drunk, a new report shows.
About one in five Australians agree that a woman is partly responsible for rape if she is intoxicated, and one in six agree with the notion that when women say "no" they actually mean "yes".
A nationwide VicHealth survey of 17,500 people about their attitudes towards violence against women discovered that although most people understood that family violence was a crime, a sizeable proportion believed there were circumstances in which it could be excused


Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/one-in-five-say-drunk-women-partly-to-blame-for-rape-survey-finds-20140916-10hu5q.html#ixzz3HQyhBeBX
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 362
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 7:43:54 AM
Excerpt from the same article SD2132 posted:

"There was a growing international consensus that the causes of violence against women could be eliminated if attitudes shifted, VicHealth chief executive officer Jerril Rechter said.

On the whole we haven't improved much since the first survey was completed (1995)," Ms Rechter said. "But what we're seeing is more people who now understand that violence is more than a bruised eye or broken bones."
People needed empathy and education to understand how difficult it was for a woman in a violent relationship to leave, she said.
"They feel they don't have anywhere to go and they have been so excluded from their peers and friends over a long period of time that they are often very isolated."
Ms Rechter said she was heartened by the fact that 98 per cent of people agreed they would step in if they saw violence against a woman they knew.
There was no significant difference in attitude between states and territories or low, middle or high-income earners, the survey found.
The main influence on people's attitudes to violence against women was their understanding of the issue and how supportive they were of gender equality.
Young people between 16 and 25 generally had poorer attitudes about sexual assault, while older people (65 and older) were less likely to support gender equity and had rigid ideas about a woman's role in a relationship.
The survey involved more than 17,500 20-minute telephone interviews with a cross-section of Australians aged 16 and older.

Even the person who conducted this survey does not support the stats and believes attitudes need to change
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 363
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 1:30:36 PM
Listen, I speak on behalf of romantic gestures, the expectation of men to make the first move and be "charming". Romantic ambiguity.

This crap of screwing pretty much a corpse has nothing to do with that.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE for violence against women, drunk or otherwise.

Statistics on this topic are warped because of the number of people unwilling to participate or unwilling to report things. They have ATTEMPTED a variety of studies, but every study I've ever read on the topic has a little * and some fine print about bloated statistics.

To hide behind naturally occurring encounters (ie: we were both drinking at the bar) just so someone can screw a corpse like victim is disgusting.

There needs to be a line drawn so those of us who have no intention on raping anyone won't get lumped in with the perverts.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 364
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 2:16:01 PM
Good for you!!!!
I really DO appreciate the acknowledgement that rape IS actually an act of violence...

I have hope for you yet.....

And btw...NEVER thought or said that YOU yourself are any type of "rapist"....

You're obviously a young man who is still learning and that's ok....

You should strive to be the man that you would like your (someday) daughters to be with...and you may actually be on your way to that....
I can appreciate that you are trying to engage in critical thinking....even if you don't agree with me...

I just hope that continues and the conclusions that you come to are the right ones in regards to this subject....I'm sorry if I was harsh with you, but this is a topic near and dear to my heart as are ALL women's issues....

I DO try and be empathetic towards men as well, as I understand that changing the mores of a society can produce "growing pains"....and many men are confused as to what their roles as men are in today's world...
We're all still trying to figure that out my friend and it can be difficult and contentious at times....just continue to try and be a part of the solution ,rather than part of the problem....
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 365
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 2:44:27 PM
See, I'm sorry about before, I slipped into a defensive mode.

I really mean what I say.

Rape is terrible. Violence against women is terrible. AND I'm not being sarcastic. No matter how you spin, women get it worse than men. Men get it too, but women get it more often.

I don't seek to enable men with excuses. "Oh she was drunk..." "No really means yes"

I really want a world where there is a clear classification between going too far and being persistent.
Because, I AM young, I go to bars, have fun, and...hit on women...sometimes.

I don't want these people with disgusting intentions jumping on the backs of those of us who want to have a spark of romance in our lives.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 366
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 3:25:27 PM
I apologize as well...I can get quite"militant" sometimes and forget that some men are just trying to get a handle on how to BE with women, today...

Make NO mistake, I DO have empathy for men in that their roles once so CLEARLY defined are ANYTHING but, at this particular point in history...
I really DO feel for those men who are just going along trying to figure out how to deal with "today's woman" without fear of ending up in jail etc.
And especially for young men such as yourself....

Yes young women are sexual creatures, who don't always have the best judgement themselves...I know, because I used to be one of them!!! LOL

As I already mentioned, it's just about treating someone with respect and empathy....I think that you have some of that and if you continue along the way that you are, questioning and challenging...I think you're going to make a fine husband and father one day....who teaches his children that respect for others is paramount, regardless of gender....
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 367
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 4:27:27 PM

I never felt comfortable taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex because I felt it was taking advanatage of the girl being drunk. This past weekend I did for the for the first time. At the bar, there was no question that she wanted me to take her home. We only spoke for about five minutes and she said, "Take me home and f*** me." She was definitely drunk, but not completely wasted. If she was drunk on her ass, I would not have taken her home. The next morning, I took her home. She barely said a word to me and it appeared she regretted what happend the previous night.

Most guys, my friends included, don't have a second thought about taking a drunk woman home from a bar. I have heard stories of men being accused of rape for doing this.


If a person is not capable of giving informed consent, you should not be having sex with them. If their judgement is impaired, you shouldn't do it. They are incapable of giving informed consent. It doesn't matter if they are telling you they want to do it. Be a gentleman. Tell the woman involved, "Listen, I find you attractive and I'm flattered you want to come home with me, but you've had a bit to drink and I don't want to take advantage of you. Why don't you give me your phone number and if you still want to get together with me when you're sober, we'll go from there."

It doesn't matter what your friends do. What matters is what you do. Do you want to take advantage of a woman whose judgement is impaired? If you do, then you are not a very nice person. You are also taking the risk that later, when she is sober, she'll regret it and cause you trouble. So don't do it.

Be a gentleman. Act with integrity. Always make sure there is consent. It will be a lot more fun that way and a lot less hassle.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 368
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/29/2014 11:26:35 AM
Well, a man probably should not be having sex with a woman on date one. You should take the time to get to know her, and make sure she's sane first and not a whistle-blower. If you don't know who your dealing with because you moved too fast, it's your own darn fault. Only fools rush in. Cry me a river!
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 369
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 11/7/2014 10:37:09 AM
Uhm.. Makes me wonder if you can't get a woman to have sex with you the normal way. Ask her out for a date and get to know her before having sex. Seems like rape to me and the only way you can get any sex from a woman. Try growing up and acting like a man.
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 370
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 11/8/2014 3:08:34 AM
Last night i went to the martini bar in boca to meet some friends..I would say the range of ppl there were between 35-60. It was a good crowd and everyone appeared to be enjoying themselves. I can`t begin to tell you how many women were at the bar, dressed to the NINES and wasted off their rockers. At one point, a woman walked up to my buddy and draped her arm around him, claiming he looked very familiar...Anyway, she sat down with us and we all started talking and laughing.. My friend ordered her another drink, and honestly, at that point didn`t think anything at the time. Anyway, she asked him if he wanted to dance and they did.. Abt 45 mins later i recieved a text from my friend that she wanted to leave and invited my friend to her place...I would say this person is between the age of 42-45, and seemed a bit tipsy, yet, she knew exactly what she was doing and zeroed in on my buddy... To believe she wasn`t interested in a one nite stand with him, would be a lie..

I got a text from my friend around 3am telling me what a total freak she is and how much they`re both enjoying being with one another...
I think many of the opinions here are totally incorrect, to claim a responsible woman who`s drunk, doesn`t know what she doing is an out and out lie...
I have news for you, she wasn`t the only one on the make last nite, we watched several doing the same thing. In a situation like that, whereas a woman invites a man to her bed, i have a very hard time believing having sex with someone at that point would be classified as rape, and placing the onus on a man who also might be a bit drunk, is wrong... Things happen between adults and thats the way it is sometimes... But, to believe its rape, is wrong...
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