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 Onyxbutterflies90
Joined: 10/14/2014
Msg: 360
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?Page 19 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Only fools seeking prison time will have sex with someone who is drunk. Drunk = Unable to Give Consent. It's not worth it.
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 361
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 3:26:30 AM
An alarming number of Australians believe that violence towards women and rape can be excused and blame the victim, particularly if she is drunk, a new report shows.
About one in five Australians agree that a woman is partly responsible for rape if she is intoxicated, and one in six agree with the notion that when women say "no" they actually mean "yes".
A nationwide VicHealth survey of 17,500 people about their attitudes towards violence against women discovered that although most people understood that family violence was a crime, a sizeable proportion believed there were circumstances in which it could be excused


Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/one-in-five-say-drunk-women-partly-to-blame-for-rape-survey-finds-20140916-10hu5q.html#ixzz3HQyhBeBX
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 362
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 7:43:54 AM
Excerpt from the same article SD2132 posted:

"There was a growing international consensus that the causes of violence against women could be eliminated if attitudes shifted, VicHealth chief executive officer Jerril Rechter said.

On the whole we haven't improved much since the first survey was completed (1995)," Ms Rechter said. "But what we're seeing is more people who now understand that violence is more than a bruised eye or broken bones."
People needed empathy and education to understand how difficult it was for a woman in a violent relationship to leave, she said.
"They feel they don't have anywhere to go and they have been so excluded from their peers and friends over a long period of time that they are often very isolated."
Ms Rechter said she was heartened by the fact that 98 per cent of people agreed they would step in if they saw violence against a woman they knew.
There was no significant difference in attitude between states and territories or low, middle or high-income earners, the survey found.
The main influence on people's attitudes to violence against women was their understanding of the issue and how supportive they were of gender equality.
Young people between 16 and 25 generally had poorer attitudes about sexual assault, while older people (65 and older) were less likely to support gender equity and had rigid ideas about a woman's role in a relationship.
The survey involved more than 17,500 20-minute telephone interviews with a cross-section of Australians aged 16 and older.

Even the person who conducted this survey does not support the stats and believes attitudes need to change
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 363
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 1:30:36 PM
Listen, I speak on behalf of romantic gestures, the expectation of men to make the first move and be "charming". Romantic ambiguity.

This crap of screwing pretty much a corpse has nothing to do with that.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE for violence against women, drunk or otherwise.

Statistics on this topic are warped because of the number of people unwilling to participate or unwilling to report things. They have ATTEMPTED a variety of studies, but every study I've ever read on the topic has a little * and some fine print about bloated statistics.

To hide behind naturally occurring encounters (ie: we were both drinking at the bar) just so someone can screw a corpse like victim is disgusting.

There needs to be a line drawn so those of us who have no intention on raping anyone won't get lumped in with the perverts.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 364
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 2:16:01 PM
Good for you!!!!
I really DO appreciate the acknowledgement that rape IS actually an act of violence...

I have hope for you yet.....

And btw...NEVER thought or said that YOU yourself are any type of "rapist"....

You're obviously a young man who is still learning and that's ok....

You should strive to be the man that you would like your (someday) daughters to be with...and you may actually be on your way to that....
I can appreciate that you are trying to engage in critical thinking....even if you don't agree with me...

I just hope that continues and the conclusions that you come to are the right ones in regards to this subject....I'm sorry if I was harsh with you, but this is a topic near and dear to my heart as are ALL women's issues....

I DO try and be empathetic towards men as well, as I understand that changing the mores of a society can produce "growing pains"....and many men are confused as to what their roles as men are in today's world...
We're all still trying to figure that out my friend and it can be difficult and contentious at times....just continue to try and be a part of the solution ,rather than part of the problem....
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 365
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 2:44:27 PM
See, I'm sorry about before, I slipped into a defensive mode.

I really mean what I say.

Rape is terrible. Violence against women is terrible. AND I'm not being sarcastic. No matter how you spin, women get it worse than men. Men get it too, but women get it more often.

I don't seek to enable men with excuses. "Oh she was drunk..." "No really means yes"

I really want a world where there is a clear classification between going too far and being persistent.
Because, I AM young, I go to bars, have fun, and...hit on women...sometimes.

I don't want these people with disgusting intentions jumping on the backs of those of us who want to have a spark of romance in our lives.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 366
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 3:25:27 PM
I apologize as well...I can get quite"militant" sometimes and forget that some men are just trying to get a handle on how to BE with women, today...

Make NO mistake, I DO have empathy for men in that their roles once so CLEARLY defined are ANYTHING but, at this particular point in history...
I really DO feel for those men who are just going along trying to figure out how to deal with "today's woman" without fear of ending up in jail etc.
And especially for young men such as yourself....

Yes young women are sexual creatures, who don't always have the best judgement themselves...I know, because I used to be one of them!!! LOL

As I already mentioned, it's just about treating someone with respect and empathy....I think that you have some of that and if you continue along the way that you are, questioning and challenging...I think you're going to make a fine husband and father one day....who teaches his children that respect for others is paramount, regardless of gender....
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 367
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/28/2014 4:27:27 PM

I never felt comfortable taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex because I felt it was taking advanatage of the girl being drunk. This past weekend I did for the for the first time. At the bar, there was no question that she wanted me to take her home. We only spoke for about five minutes and she said, "Take me home and f*** me." She was definitely drunk, but not completely wasted. If she was drunk on her ass, I would not have taken her home. The next morning, I took her home. She barely said a word to me and it appeared she regretted what happend the previous night.

Most guys, my friends included, don't have a second thought about taking a drunk woman home from a bar. I have heard stories of men being accused of rape for doing this.


If a person is not capable of giving informed consent, you should not be having sex with them. If their judgement is impaired, you shouldn't do it. They are incapable of giving informed consent. It doesn't matter if they are telling you they want to do it. Be a gentleman. Tell the woman involved, "Listen, I find you attractive and I'm flattered you want to come home with me, but you've had a bit to drink and I don't want to take advantage of you. Why don't you give me your phone number and if you still want to get together with me when you're sober, we'll go from there."

It doesn't matter what your friends do. What matters is what you do. Do you want to take advantage of a woman whose judgement is impaired? If you do, then you are not a very nice person. You are also taking the risk that later, when she is sober, she'll regret it and cause you trouble. So don't do it.

Be a gentleman. Act with integrity. Always make sure there is consent. It will be a lot more fun that way and a lot less hassle.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 368
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 10/29/2014 11:26:35 AM
Well, a man probably should not be having sex with a woman on date one. You should take the time to get to know her, and make sure she's sane first and not a whistle-blower. If you don't know who your dealing with because you moved too fast, it's your own darn fault. Only fools rush in. Cry me a river!
 2whiteangoras
Joined: 8/6/2014
Msg: 369
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When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 11/7/2014 10:37:09 AM
Uhm.. Makes me wonder if you can't get a woman to have sex with you the normal way. Ask her out for a date and get to know her before having sex. Seems like rape to me and the only way you can get any sex from a woman. Try growing up and acting like a man.
 SD2131
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 370
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 11/8/2014 3:08:34 AM
Last night i went to the martini bar in boca to meet some friends..I would say the range of ppl there were between 35-60. It was a good crowd and everyone appeared to be enjoying themselves. I can`t begin to tell you how many women were at the bar, dressed to the NINES and wasted off their rockers. At one point, a woman walked up to my buddy and draped her arm around him, claiming he looked very familiar...Anyway, she sat down with us and we all started talking and laughing.. My friend ordered her another drink, and honestly, at that point didn`t think anything at the time. Anyway, she asked him if he wanted to dance and they did.. Abt 45 mins later i recieved a text from my friend that she wanted to leave and invited my friend to her place...I would say this person is between the age of 42-45, and seemed a bit tipsy, yet, she knew exactly what she was doing and zeroed in on my buddy... To believe she wasn`t interested in a one nite stand with him, would be a lie..

I got a text from my friend around 3am telling me what a total freak she is and how much they`re both enjoying being with one another...
I think many of the opinions here are totally incorrect, to claim a responsible woman who`s drunk, doesn`t know what she doing is an out and out lie...
I have news for you, she wasn`t the only one on the make last nite, we watched several doing the same thing. In a situation like that, whereas a woman invites a man to her bed, i have a very hard time believing having sex with someone at that point would be classified as rape, and placing the onus on a man who also might be a bit drunk, is wrong... Things happen between adults and thats the way it is sometimes... But, to believe its rape, is wrong...
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