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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?      Home login  
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 Jake52177
Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 26
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?Page 2 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
I haven't read thru the whole forum but when she says no, stop ,or don't men we must obey. Just to be safe and make sure shes all right . It might be good to us but she could be dry or the position is not right. You know that shit that makes us mad. Besides if your a real stud she'll make it up to you.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 27
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:08:26 AM
RE: Topic.

Only if you keep keep going. I mean... if its a serious no. I had a gf who liked to pretend I was raping her. That was.... well it was kinda fun actually. Freaked me out the first time mind you but then she explained herself... lol... I think the first time she was hoping Id actually rape her... Man... I miss her.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 28
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 11:23:46 AM
I seriously hope most of the women in here don't lure anyone into dating them if they think it's justified to do 15 years of hardcore time because a man took a few seconds longer to stop having sex when you suddenly for no reason decide you're done. In my mind it would take someone who's really sick and calculating to even remotely agree with this insane punishment for this situation. If it was actual rape I could see it but this situation doesn't seem like it even bothered the girl. It's also hypocritical, because on the one hand you are saying that what he did justifies his being beaten and ACTUALLY raped in prison for 15 years but on the other you are saying that no one should be made to have sex against their will.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 29
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 12:39:38 PM
How come none of the ladies have addressed this question or is the LOGIC a bit much.
***************
Let me paint a scene for the women here and see if they can see the logic.

You are REALLY into oral sex. You LOVE IT. You're gobbling some guy and REALLY into it.

He says "no. stop." YOU take ..... 5 SECONDS ..... to pull your mouth away.

Subsequent to that you are CHARGED WITH RAPE, you have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a lawyer, your name is printed in all the local papers and eventually ALL the National news too, you go to TRIAL and are CONVICTED (don't forget you can still get LIFE in some states for the DEVIANT ACT of oral sex) and sentenced to 15 YEARS in PRISON.

FAIR???

Or is it somehow "different" ????
*************

It seems to be "different" in some women's heads. 5 SECONDS of delay is equivalent to and needs to be punished by a sentence that most armed robbers don't get, that in FACT most REAL rapists don't get.

I don't GET IT.

If women (some anyway) see it as THAT cut and dried what makes my scenario (above) different? I think if the discussion was of some WOMAN who had just been convicted and sentenced to 15 YEARS in prison for not "STOPPING" a BJ for 5 whole SECONDS the attitudes and posts would be DRAMATICALLY different.


YA THINK?
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 30
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 1:40:44 PM
^^^ Dude, did you read the thread? He DID stop. We all agree with that. The argument here has devolved into whether 5 seconds is a reasonable amount of time to stop. To me convicting someone of such a serious crime when his intent was, from what I can ascertain, fairly upstanding and right is absolutely ridiculous.
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 31
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 2:04:10 PM
Oh GAWD / ALLAH - you mean this discussion is going to deteriorate into whether SHE should be stoned to death for being such a TRAMP in the first place.

Couldn't we find a little middle ground. He gets 15 YEARS for 5 more seconds HERE and THERE she would be put to death ... BOTH are almost as brainless and extreme.

STILL not one woman (ooops *EDIT * laughing posted while I was still typin' - sorry - everybody BUT you, OK?) will tell me how my scenario of a delayed BJ termination is different from what happened. Com'on ladies. Give us an insight into how your logic centers process information if you think the two are different.

**************
And what VYPER said at the top of this page makes way more sense than a bunch of us trying to guess what REALLY happened to cause the first dude to plead guilty to rape. .... "Plead guilty to 2nd degree and and testify against your buddy OR we'll hang your ass and BOTH of you will get 10 to 25. Your choice. Make a decision ... NOW!!"

Happens all the time. DA & Crowns just want a short day. They could care less if what they're doing in court in ANY WAY resembles JUSTICE.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 32
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:03:05 PM
God what a stupid case. Pig sex stinks *LOL*
 Vyper®
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 33
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 8:27:38 PM
I like the way you think, Ninki. I'm on my way over ... and I'm bringing the TUMS!
 Vyper®
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 34
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/24/2008 9:17:30 PM
OK, OK ... no more snarky, under the breath comments about me looking like a rapist!


Singer James @ msg 96:

It appears from the testimony provided that the convicted teenager never actually penetrated her, but persisted to to try for a few seconds after she told him to stop because his efforts to insert his penis was hurting her. The following is an excerpt from the judicial opinion of the first-level appellate court, including direct questioning from the prosecutor:

(the victim/complainant in this case is "J.L."; her girlfriend (who was initially with the victim and the two perps, but left the group because the boys had expressed an interest in having sex, and she was not interested) is named "Lacey"; "Mike" is the first teenager, who later pled guilty to some sex-related charge and was sentenced to 18 months; and the "appellant" is the convicted boy ("Baby"))

Q. Now when you told [appellant] if I say stop,
something like that, you have to stop. What did he do
after you spoke those words?
A. Well he got on top of me and he tried to put it in
and it hurt. So I said stop and that’s when he kept
pushing it in and I was pushing his knees to get off me.
Q. You were on your back and he was on top of you?
A. Yes.
Q. Did he stop pushing his penis into your vagina?
A. Not right away.
Q. About how long did he continue to put his penis into
your vagina?
A. About five or so seconds.
Q. And then what happened?
A. And that’s when he just got off me and that’s when
Mike got in the car. . . .

J.L. testified that appellant continued for five or ten
seconds, but she did not believe that he had ejaculated. She
testified that, as the trio proceeded back to McDonald’s, appellant
asked her to “jack him off,” but, although she refused, she did
give him her telephone number. After obtaining Lacey’s cell
telephone number from appellant, J.L. called her and said she was
okay and would be there (at McDonald’s) in a couple of seconds.
Mike [apparently driving J.L.'s car] parked the car across the street from McDonald’s and hugged J.L. before he and appellant departed.
Thereafter, the complainant drove Lacey to Shoppers Food
Warehouse, where they met J.L.’s mother and then proceeded to
Lacey’s house after helping J.L.’s mother to shop. Upon arriving
at Lacey’s house, the complainant responded in the negative to
inquiries about what was wrong from Lacey’s brother, but related
what had happened to Lacey’s mother. After the police were called,
J.L. went to the hospital to be examined.
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 35
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:32:36 PM
Stop means stop is correct. This is exactly what he did and it took A FEW SECONDS. This IS stopping right away. What was he supposed to do, snap his fingers and instantly appear across the room like a genie? Why can so few people see how serious what happened to this poor guy is? He showed a lot of control to stop that quickly. I'm assuming he felt comfortable enough with her that this wasn't much of a problem. Obviously she was comfortable with him (and probably a lot of other men), driving him around afterwards and then giving him her number.
Any judge that would do this to somebody in this type of scenario should be put in prison for a long long time because they definitely have a god complex or some other issues. I may just pull this stunt myself when I'm having sex and get too sore to continue. I'll have my stopwatch at the ready and my fingers set to dial 911. ANYONE who thinks this is fair for the way this happened is very very sick and disgusting in my book.
 Evenor
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 36
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 3:25:09 AM
If it's consentual to begin with then no, but if she says stop then STOP!!!. It's bad ju-ju to continue.

Plus I know someone that was thrown in jail for 6 months all on a woman's word for rape. He never touched her and she was just trying to get revenge on him for leaving her which she came out and admitted to authorities 6 months after he was in jail. Yet his whole life was ruined from it...
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 37
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:13:45 AM
kthyg: If you think 5 SECONDS to regain your composure and stop is worth 15YEARS of torture, beatings and continuous rape of the other party (because that is what he will have to endure), not to mention ruining a life, then you have some serious vengeance issues and aren't thinking clearly. Not to mention it's a hypocritical line of thinking much like believing in the death penalty. She's inviting guys to have sex one after the other and it doesn't read like she was very "scared" afterwards. I would NEVER have sex with a woman without knowing their personal history of abuse etc. at this point and after reading some of the cold opinions in here. It seems to create a huge chip that never goes away. It also seems to create a desire to lock up any man within arms length for almost any reason to pay for the original abuse. There's obviouly a dangerous twisted logic to this that I want no part of. If this guy was just a "violent rapist" he wouldn't have stopped at all and she would have had to fight him off. Also, who's to say that she wasn't incoherent for a few seconds because she was breathing heavy and he didn't quite make out what she said in that length of time? No matter what happened there is no sane arguement whatsoever to justify what this boy is going to have to endure. I guess it doesn't matter in this society though because he's just a male and we don't seem to have the same rights anyway. Very sick place we live in.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 38
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 7:42:57 AM
I can see different sides of this issue. On the one hand, I don't think the first kid should have gotten charged with anything. She did consent to having sex with the second kid but said 'ok, if he stops when I tell him to'. (Red flag right there...that kind of says that she wasn't too hot on the idea but was willing to go along because she'd already gotten herself in over her head-she should have said no then, but that's not what happened so it's moot). He did pull out, without further physically dominating her, hitting her, or controlling her. Five seconds is not that long in the grand scheme. I think the sentence was a little harsh on him too.

On the other hand, the only other thing as invasive as intercourse that I can think of to compare with is the dentist. It is generally implied and sometimes even spoken that when the dentist is hurting you, he'll get out of your mouth. If you make a gesture that you want him to stop, and he is still doing his thing even though he's hurting you, five seconds can seem like a lot longer time.

This conversation has turned further away from the original topic, and I can't recall all 5 pages of posts I would like to address, but stop does mean stop. Just because a man is heated up and the woman may have even gotten him that way, does not mean he has a right to continue. There aren't that many people saying that he does have a right to continue, but to the ones who are saying "do you know how painful it is", I say boooo. lol I tried to do the thumbs down, but when you edit your post, it turns into a thumbs up, so you get boooo.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 39
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 9:53:47 AM
I saw a debate on a news show regarding this earlier today.
I have to ask this question:

What if the woman says "stop" and he doesn't stop for 4 seconds? 3? 2? 1?

and he's going to be put in prison 15 years for this as he would if he'd held a knife to her throat and forced himself on her with no consent at all?

I can understand why women might not see this at first and are afraid that if someone is not obligated to stop when they say, then they could easily become a target for people who won't stop no matter what... BUT...to consent and then holler rape because the guy didn't stop less five or ten seconds later?

That's ridiculous...
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 40
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Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 10:24:51 AM
Let's see now......
You and the woman are doing the in/out, in/out.
And, she tells you she's got an attack of diarrhea.
And, she says she's got to get to the bathroom right now or else she's going to take a dump right there in the bed.
Do you stop or do you keep on going ?
 good second man
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 41
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:22:49 PM
Hum......well I think if she let him in then she is f__ked.
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 42
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 1:37:03 PM
Your question is a good valid one, and the very reason that I have not dated in over four years.

I have heard that the woman had consensual sex with a fellow, then weeks later claimed that he raped her.... and it was clear from some of the cases that it was only said because he had made her angry with him. In most of the cases, she won.

The result of her accusing him? Ten to twenty YEARS in prison!


Each of the cases? No proof other than her word against his. And in court, HER word is always given more weight than his.

I once met a prostitute that was cute and sweet.... on the surface. She would sleep with the guy, then as soon as she was done, call the police. She would tell them that they had to give her ALL of their money or she would accuse them of rape and they would be in prison for years and years. She had about ten men arrested before the police caught on. It's un-telling how many were robbed blind.

So should the man stop when the woman says stop? On the down stroke? One more second? Five? Let me tell you....

The safest way is to draw up a contract, get it notarized, then have an impartial witness.

That, or never put yourself in a situation where you can possibly be accused of anything. That means no sex, no alone time, no cuddling, no making out, no kissing.

So women, you want to say "It's MY body, and I have TOTAL control." Yes, you shall have that control when you deal with me. Because I frankly don't want you anywhere near me. You are just not getting it. We are tired of being abused. That’s why you rarely meet any "good" men anymore. THOSE men do not want to fool with you.

My last straw was a woman that invited a man to a hotel room, drugged him, shoved an "Ejaculation Machine" that was designed to make cows and horses ejaculate up his butt, then turned it on. He did, she turkey basted herself and got pregnant.

He was hit with child support, forced to pay it, and NOTHING was done to her. If the roles had been reversed, he would have spent the rest of his life in jail.

No thank you.

I would rather be single and celibate until the woman that wants to submit and be a part of me comes along. After all, I want a woman of her own free will for the rest of my life… but I also demand that once she makes that decision, she have the guts and self control to honor it. No more, no more. I’m sick of traitors.
 Casey Jones53
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 43
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:19:05 PM
Basically, the moment one individual in the sex act decides to act selfishly, has the thought in their own mind, and puts their own needs ahead of the other, then, at that moment, the sex act has now become RAPE.

It doesn't matter what kind of relationship one has with the other -- they could be married to one another or it could be a one-night-stand, or the sex act could be completely against the other's will.

It doesn't matter what gender the participants are, male/male; female/female; male/female.

It doesn't matter under what circumstances they came to be together.

Since it's not possible to read a person's mind, we are left with the law's clumsy attempts to discern, with various means, the mindset of the individuals involved, as to whether one of them has committed rape.

If their thoughts could be read, and they both acted selfishly during the sex act and put their needs ahead of their partner's, then, as absurd as it sounds, they have just raped each other.

Such is the nature of RAPE.
 gingernuts
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 44
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:07:54 PM
Well Hi my views are this

Being a Australian and agree with the law it is my understanding in Australia that if anytime a women say's no and a Guy or a Women continues having sex it in eyez of the law is Rape.

As it may have been consentual at first and what ever reason the person has not consented.
So end of the day can argue but what if's and what about!

But Key word is No Go beyond NO and in this particular case its Rape.

I just would hope anyone who was intimate with a person, new the persona and was consentual.

I do remember many years ago read aarticle in the Sydney paper that a Prostitue brought charges against a Client who picked her up off the street and had sex with her, he payed her, During the Sex she decided that she didnt want it and he kept going.
That guy got charged for rape as She said No even if the women was a prostitute and was payed. true stroy

presently allot of tv adds on tv encourgaing women to report crime against them if abused
 wesleyscott
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 45
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/27/2008 8:38:50 PM
What happens when she is screaming "dont stop dont stop oh God dont stop" would that be considered rape if some of the neighbors heard it they could claim I heard her say "dont and stop". Just trying to lighten things up no mean no so pull out and get off of her before you spend the next 10 to 20 years screaming no to your cell mate.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 46
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:08:53 PM
NO MEANS NO; and you have way too much time on your hands.
 man4u2xplor
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 47
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:20:33 AM
It does not matter in these cases. It is 15 minutes of fame to put someone away for a long time. I can just see us ALL here arguing with the court and a jury at the moment of climax that you DID pull out when she said NO but they would still have your fluids if she went to the hospital....Just don't have sex with drunk girls and you might be alright.

AS SOON AS SHE SAYS NO IT "COULD BE" RAPE....doesn't matter how many more 'plunges' you get in. As long as she feels violated the court will be in her favor. (Even if she wore that sexy miniskirt)
 man4u2xplor
Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 48
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:22:38 AM
They should change condom ads to also suggest that "condoms do not prevent the possibility of being charged with rape."
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 49
Is It Rape If She Consents and Changes Her Mind During the Act?
Posted: 4/28/2008 7:57:30 AM

Doesn't matter......she says yes and changes her mind, well it's simple...STOP!

No.. it's not in this case. The people who have chimed in on this thread of late with the simple "No means No" repetition need to go back and read the thread BEFORE commenting and making yourselves look ignorant.

Everyone to a person has agreed that no means no in a general sense so you're not adding anything to the discussion to continue to repeat that.

This is a much more complicated case that resulted in 2 boys being sentenced to YEARS in prison and having their entire lives ruined for engaging in consensual sex. All because some screwed up young lady decided that she had been "raped" after the fact. Because one boy continued to try to penetrate the girl for 5 SECONDS after she decided to withdraw her previously given consent, he was setenced to 15 YEARS IN PRISON!

The judge in this case is the one who should be in prison.

I totally agree with an earlier poster. What p!sses me off about this situation is that claims like this really only hurt those who have legitimately been the victims of rape because it cheapens their pain and legitimate claims.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 50
textodd11
Posted: 4/28/2008 1:39:20 PM

And what do you mean by "try"?

Zachariah, go back and read the thread you are trying to comment on and you will have your answer.
Ignorant- definition- uneducated in the fundamentals of a given art or branch of learning; lacking knowledge of a specific field.

By not reading the thread you have rendered yourself lacking of knowledge in the specific field that is this discussion and case. Are you sure you still want to talk about ignorance?

NOBODY IS DEBATING WHETHER "NO MEANS NO". Everyone here to this point in the discussion has agreed that it does.

What is being debated is this: Once consent has been given, how long is a reasonable time for the individual involved to stop the act once that consent is withdrawn? Is 5 seconds reasonable? Is it 1 second? Should the man be able to dematerialize instantaneously once the woman says, "stop"? Some on this thread seem to think so. Personally, I don't think 5 seconds is extreme and some consideration should be given to circumstance before destroying a young man's life and sending him to prison for 15 years over 5 seconds of delayed reaction.
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