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 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 47
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
i just did a forum thread search on AIDS. seems others have raised this issue, as well as provided some educational tools. i would suggest that people peruse and read. the very end of my search, a person asked if s/he could meet others with aids. sadly no one anwered. if you know of sites where people "with" aids can chat and meet, maybe you can provide it, so we can pass it on to those who need it AND the woman who is the OBJECT of this thread, can find some solace. hopefully she can see that many of us here are rooting for her. maybe she won't make her name publically known, but can contact us privately. i believe that the better way for her to meet people is to get out there and get involved. that way people can be exposed to ALL of her as she is not her disease.

i know that with one other controversial disease, that people have a code that they tuck into their profiles if they are looking to date or talk to others who share this problem. i guess they found it on a self help website. not sure how it started, but it's a great idea, i think. hopefully, there is a similar secret flag for others with other issues.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 50
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:13:49 PM
I think you are a jackass

Why should people with any disease or disability NOT be on POF. They still have hearts.. they still need to find love. They still DESERVE to be loved. The wording of the OP sounds like you think somehow you are above people with HIV.. superior somehow.

I hate prejudice, in ALL it's forms. If you have EVER had unprotected sex (and even if you have, accidents happen) you have risked HIV infection... so for all those out there.. YOU too could be in her shoes, and if you haven't been tested lately, you might be now.

I applaud her for her courage in being honest. Must be awfully painful for her to put herself out for rejection like that, and no doubt she is aware of how many are going to reject her, yet here she is still reaching out. Brave lady.

Did you consider that? Not only does she have to deal with a potentially fatal and painful disease, but all the social rejection and misinformation. She might have to face dying alone and untouched, like so many others have, because of prejudice and fear.

No one said you have to date her, but at least show some common human compassion and decency. YOU are no better tha she is... don't fool yourself.
 aspiring_angel
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 58
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/25/2008 1:48:37 PM
OP I can sympathize with what you're saying; you're gun shy now; at least she told you and was up front. There are others who have had bad experiences online, you aren't the first, or the last. You are probably not even alone in this situation (finding someone has a life threatening disease).

You live, you learn.

As for the topic of AIDS / HIV, there by the grace of God go any one of us who have had un-protected sex, blood transfusions or ...

Best Wishes ~
 simplicity42
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 60
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/25/2008 2:13:26 PM
Well said ~Rain~

She was up front with you, now it's up to you what you want to do....
 lukin2bcherished
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 64
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 4:33:43 AM
I just sat here and read this entire thread and I have to say I'm simply amazed. OP, what made you post this to begin with? Are you not man enough to handle the situation and make your own choice about the matter? She told you this in all honesty, then you made the statement I have no faith in dating anymore. Do you want to be with someone that is a liar?

The saddest part of all, is how she is feeling reading this. She should be the one to lose faith in dating and trusting someone on this site. She was more than women enough to tell you the truth.

OP, my advice to you....

1. Educate yourself! Whether you believe it or not, there is millions of HIV+/Aids patients living life and being in a healthy relationship

2. Learn the meaning of TRUST!

3. Decide if your man enough to handle a real relationship. I'm sure you have had unprotected sex at least once in your life. Who knows? You could find out that you have it yourself.
 Kiss_My_Karma~
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 69
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:19:42 AM

I am thinking now it is time to give up on sex before I seriously get caught out.


I am thinking if anyone you talk to reads your posting history you won't need to worry about it, it'll be taken care of for you.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 72
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 2:26:56 PM
in my day, women were accused of putting a hole in the condom to get pregnant and get the "boys" to marry them. today teen boys, if not interrupted by knowledgeable parents to talk some sense into them, are putting holes in the condoms to get the girls pregnant because they think it's a "funny" way to get even with them for something or another. they know they don't have to marry them and no one has money for child support to glean--let alone there are so many partners, no one knows who the father really is. thus, another avenue to catch aids...

it only takes one naive party to catch aids. it could be any one of us and if you are not regularly checked, it could also be someone right now, who doesn't even know s/he is HIV+ !!!!

i guess the question, aside from how terrible OP is, is what one would do if they fell in love with an HIV + person? so many are looking to hook up or get whatever from a relationhip. when i say love here, i am talking about something way past sex. what if your two souls clicked on all aspects of life? if that were possible, what would you do? there are ways, i am told, to deal with the sexuality. but could you deal with the pain as well?

the woman in question, must be happy we all ZONKED op, but most say they would be her friend and perhaps that may not be what she is looking for. so are we hypocritical? i am not sure what i would do. having lymes, i am way more immune susceptible than most. but to meet the love of your life? and then turn him/ her down? that is an interesting question that is beyond practicality.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 78
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 4:48:27 PM
697989, one of the posts above says there is such a thread. but if there is not, feel free to coyy and paste. i assumed this was in keeping, if not with the original question, the responses. i also was thinking of the "victim" of the revelation, as i'm sure she'd be interested also. i''ll be sure to post on it, if you so venture! but dam-n-ed if i know the answer. i "guess" to find that kind of love, is worth anything and everything. fact is, that many with HIV who marrry a non HIV person whom they meet after the infection, are probably pretty lucky to have that true kind of love. dontcha think? i know there are ways around it, but it's the stigma that gives so many problems. that assumes the person is accessible to today's modern medicine-- that so many third world countries do not have access to , or at least the whole of it.
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 84
She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:40:33 PM
I doubt that she has any diseases other than being sick of you (for whatever reason).

(boo)
 Black velvet 46
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 85
She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/26/2008 6:47:45 PM
Hi Janet, the Op really showed very little class making this thread...breaking someones confidence




BOO
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 88
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:47:20 AM
atleast she told you, there are hundreds if not thousands of people out there that have one sort of std or another but do not yet know about it or they just don't give a damn, and if your the lucky one to get to meet this person, you may go home with something you wish you never even heard of.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 90
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:32:43 PM
OP - I'm sure there's plenty of folks with AIDS, STD's, and the likes, floating out there on any dating site. Always live by the philosophy "no glove, no love". Choose your partners carefully. Think with the big head, not the little head.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 95
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:52:43 AM
Whether the OP, or the girl is fool of crap, this is still a good point that many avoid. First of all the national institute of health came out with their latest statistics that 25% of teens have an STD in the U.S. and among African Americans its 45%.

Never before have people been so wreckless with sex. If you look at the female profiles many are very young with children. In fact a 24 year old with 4 kids from 3 men emailed me tonight saying she wanted stability in her life. mmm I can't believe people still have unprotected sex.

People forget, when you sleep with someone, you are being exposed to EVERY partner that person has ever been with, along with all their partners. AIDS is on the rise again and STD's are very much on the rise and the numbers are scary.

You have to be EXTREMELY careful. When you get serious with someone, testing isnt' a bad idea. I know in the girls gone wild generation we live in its not cool, but sleeping around can cost more than a heartache.
 Love_on_Fire
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 100
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She has AIDS and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:30:57 AM
OP, I am very sorry to hear this. I am also sorry for this lady who is infected. I still would maybe say that you can be friends, but thats as far as it should go.

I must be honest, this is one of the things that deep down in the back of my head I fear, and I pray that none of us come across this. This is one thing that is very good to know as soon as you can.

As for her being on POF, I don't know what I can say, other then she may be looking for friends or something? She has the right to be on here, but she also has to tell others about her situation, and I think it took alot of courage from her to tell you this and I would be thankful to her that she told you in time.

This is something that is never easy to hear. One of the first things I would be thinking is how I could help them and that I wish I could. It's a very difficult situation to be in.

I hope you find someone who will love you because you deserve it. You sound like a great guy. Also, as I said earlier, you can try to still be friends with this lady, you can't help but feel sorry and want to atleast help in some way.
 sirlothie
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 105
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:03:58 AM
Could be just a brilliant way to get rid of you...

 garden-artist
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 116
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 12:52:23 PM
No point in becoming a hermit.

Anyone you meet anywhere can have an STD -- even full-blown AIDs. If you are lucky, 1) they know already, 2) they will be honest with you.

Practice safe sex. Don't exchange bodily fluids. Have a talk with your doctor. Ignorance is not bliss.

Be safe!

Garden Artist
 ronnie54
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 119
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:19:14 PM
don;t be silly; at least she told you and just because she has AIDS does make her abad person; and you stil can have safe sex;you do you know how she got it ;so always give someone the benifit ;and don;t let it put you off; their;s worse things in life so get your chin up and get on with it; good luck. ronnie J
 kindheart8
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 120
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:40:02 PM
At least she told you. She is a good and honest person. The hard part is how many are out there that dont tell anyone. Those are the ones that are mad at someone else and are taking it out on others. All you can really do is keep dating and be careful. If you feel you need to ask them to get all the tests of std,s out there and show you the real doctor,s report. There is no point in hiding just be safe.
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 121
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:50:14 PM
If she doesn't have aids, what a quick way to get rid of someone.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 127
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/4/2008 3:35:55 PM

People with HIV and AIDS have enough to worry about in the road ahead of them without having to deal with ignorance as well!!

Thank you ~rain~

~OT~ She was honest. Let's not forget, millions of people are infected and don't even know it. You risk your life if you have or have had unprotected sex once in your lifetime. Plenty of people forge healthy, happy and successful relationships after diagnosis. Some with partners in the same situation, some with un-infected parties. It's a very personal thing to open admit to having a disease of any nature ~ add ignorance and lack of education and you have the very reason HIV/Aids has spread so rampantly. Much like Hep, Herpes and multitudes of other STDs. Wow, I can't believe so many are still so fearful of that which they have made no effort to understand.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 135
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:03:48 AM
So people with an STD don't deserve to find anyone??

Nice.
 mysticaries
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 143
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 3/1/2010 8:07:13 AM

Just think. At least she told you. What about all the other people you've met and slept with, who didn't tell you, or who didn't know?


Exactly. OP, did you miss sex ed 101? How clueless are you? Are you not aware of the large percentage of people that have STDs? You ought to be thanking your lucky stars that she told you. Maybe you ought to think a little more realistically about the risks you take everytime you sleep with someone.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 146
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She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 3/6/2010 5:00:59 PM
The only thing you should be thinking, is the same thing you should HAVE been thinking all along: that you need to educate yourself on how to have safe sex for your, AND the woman's safety. It's going to be the same concern no matter how you go about meeting people.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 150
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 10/27/2014 11:27:26 AM
88% of the population is STD-free.... and you only need to find one. It's not the end of dating.
 dardikadrake
Joined: 5/10/2010
Msg: 151
She has AIDs and is on POF. Is this the end of dating ?
Posted: 10/27/2014 5:25:08 PM
Look...this is not a good thing to hear. It is a choice now for you. I can't say how I would feel. I have no disease and I have never had one. Living through the sexual revolution of the 80's I would say I have been blessed.

Having said that, I have two friends who actually met and married HIV partners and neither of them ever got it. One of their partners has now died and the other is living happy and seems to be healthy.

I understand why you came here but if she finds out she might drop you. This is extremely personal for someone to go through and it took a lot of gumption for her to tell you. Your fear does not give you permission to talk about her life. If you want to be with her explore the relationship. If you don't, leave her be. But be a gentleman and tell no one else. It is not your life to talk about.

....and

No! It is not the end of dating. There are many people who are DD free even in todays world.
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