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 airplane_geek
Joined: 5/9/2005
Msg: 10
A question for you larger ladies...Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Fatty I agree with Zgirl. You're really selling yourself short.

Do yourself a huge favor and ditch that name. It will benefit you greatly to adopt a new one.

Also don't let anything stop you from showing interest in someone. (within reason, I don't want to read about you stalking someone!)
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 16
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/4/2005 8:22:31 AM
I really think Buni has hit it right on the head. I couldn't have said it better myself. If you like somebody, go for it!

How much you weigh in no way takes away from who you are. If people are too petty to look beyond your weight, then the loss is theirs, not yours!!!

There are several guys out there who are not supremely turned on by walking anorexia cases.
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 17
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/4/2005 8:45:26 AM
Fatty - you are selling yourself supremely short.

Reality check from the male community:

You are absolutely knock-down gorgeous - just the way you are. You are also very witty and highly intelligent. You have put together one of the most fascinating profiles I have ever seen on any of the dating services.

Your handle is likewise one of the most brilliantly conceived I have ever seen. It certainly does draw a great deal of attention. I'm a little bit divided on that; in addition to attracting the weirdos, I do think you might also be scaring off some of the good ones with that as well.

If you see someone you like, go for it! I know I would absolutely be on cloud nine if someone like you wrote to me.

You've got a great deal to offer; please don't ever lose site of that fact. We are often, and most unjustifiably, our own worst enemies and harshest critics.

Knock 'em dead
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 18
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/4/2005 8:57:50 AM
on all counts.
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 19
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/4/2005 9:02:34 AM
That is to SWontGURL. (Sorry, relatively new to the forums but I'm learning.) I really don't think it could be said any better.

I really have to give a full score to everyone on this thread. A lot of good old-fashioned common sense from everybody.

Supremely well-done. Thank you ever so much, gang.
 WESTCOASTBABE
Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 20
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/8/2005 9:30:10 PM
Well I am Fat not fluffy chunky plain fat. Now i have been around the net for a few years and i have found that there are not many men out there who I have message feel i am a match for them because i am fat. I get alot of good lucks. The one i love the most was i am sorry YOU do not ski... hello... why could you just not say you are too fat for my liking... I am not hard on myself i am honest and truthful and i am who i am and if you do not like it.. well click next. I am here not because i am not loved or liked i am here because who loves me and likes me are not what i am looking for in a mate they know that they may not like it but that is the way it is. I have decided a long time ago i would rather be alone than be with someone that does not rock my world... so the question is do i message men and i do if i see something in there profile that interests me
 DropDeadGorgeous
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 24
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/9/2005 12:39:35 AM
You know what? I have a boyfriend right now, and I think he has a bangin body. (He doesn't think so, but I sure do) He has never been with a girl that had a kid. Which that means that I am a little bigger, I can't seem to get the weight off, and I have hidious stretch marks on my legs. I still wont have sex with him with the lights on...or even a night light. I'm ashamed of my body. I am afraid once he sees my ugly legs, it'll be a complete turn off. He wants to see them, but every time he tries to lift up my pant leg, I slap his hand away. But you know what? I am debating letting him see my legs. I'm scared to death though. But I guess if he doesn't like it, well, there's nothing I can do about it.

I say go for it, Girl. E-Mail that hunk you wanna get to know. I have a pretty face, and that's good enough for my man..::cough cough:: Hopfully I can still say that once I decide to show him my legs. lol And girl, if he doesn't write back, screw him...aparently he's not worth it.
 MasterBart
Joined: 6/20/2004
Msg: 31
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History
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/11/2005 2:46:42 PM
Perhaps this could be a good time to throw in some kind words.

Take a step back to look at the big picture. Why are there guys and girls on this site? MOST of us are here to find a date -- and we "resort" to internet dating because we have poor luck in the outside world. I imagine that most people who put up a profile do little more than that; they put up a profile and then wait for something in their e-mail inbox saying "you have new mail from PlentyOfFish". They probably do this on a bunch of sites, and then -- like everyone else -- say, "whoever wrote to me probably writes to everybody and isn't really intereste in me," and you don't hear back from them.

This is the only site of it's kind that I use, and I've been on it for about a year now. In reading the forums, what I see over and over is GUYS asking why they don't get good responses, and GIRLS (sorry, "LADIES") asking why they get so many weird messages. What I don't see is any sign that the ladies are taking any initiative to send the first message.

SO, CONSIDERING THAT MOST GUYS ARE WAITING FOR A POF NOTICE IN THEIR E-MAIL INBOX, WHY DON'T YOU WRITE THEM?

**********

Earlier in this thread someone mentioned that she didn't bother writing to guys who call themselves "athletic", because those guys are probably interested in meeting likewise "athletic" women. While this isn't set in stone, it is true that people respond to in others what they can see in themselves. Then consider that most of those guys aren't necessarily telling the truth either -- they want to appear as attractive as possible, because they're here BECAUSE they're single BECAUSE they think they're not attractive enough to find a date in the "real world." Now come to find out that they just shot themselves in the foot doing so.... gotta love the irony, huh?

A WORD ABOUT MEN
Men tend to size people up, even us non-violent types. It's survival instinct; when we're out doing business or making friends we still get input from our caveman-gland, however outdated it may be, and we silently ask "Can this guy take me down, or am I big enough to take him on?".

I think women do this too, based on the number of women who are solely after the tall guys. Notice that in comedy, it's usually the bigger guys who seem funnier, who "make it to the top" more easily.

point is, SIZE = INTIMIDATION.

The reason guys don't pay much attention to BBW is the same reason that the supermodel-type get a disproportionately small amount of attention: men are intimidated. We come to view you as an inherent authority, but we as males want to be the authority, so out of confusion we ignore you.

==========

In both of the two good relationships I've ever had, it's been with women who were very overweight. Their weight had always caused them to be self-conscious, leading to some some bizarre esteem and social behavior. When they found a guy who wouldn't judge them on that and love them anyway, they went nuts and clung so tight that they smothered out the relationship. I think a lot of guys are afraid that this will happen to them too; I know I'm more careful now. I'm still not predjudiced against size, but I know that people who have always been treated "differently" (or think they have) often don't make for good partners.

To wrap this up...
Know who YOU are, and be confident in this person. Don't sell yourself short. Some people are locked into their size regardless of diet and exercise (yes I do mean beanpole-chicks too). Keeping one's body healthy is a key part in keeping one's head screwed on straight and one's heart in the right place; it's a package deal.

Meanwhile, CONFIDENCE is the key to finding friends and mates in the meantime. If you need to do something to boost your confidence, find some kind of activity. Maybe being the one to do a singles search and YOU write some letters out, or maybe just leave the house, go anywhere, for the purpose of complimenting just one person. Learn to make people feel like a million bucks when they're around you and you can become a million times more popular, no matter what you look like.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 33
view profile
History
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/11/2005 9:07:08 PM
i've emailed people because their profile sounds interesting, but get very little interest back.

i don't know if it's a function of weight or age - and i only email people in my 7-years-each -way age range.

i keep hearing about how women get SOOOOOO many emails on internet dating sites. this is my third one in just over a year and i get sooooooo few....

just tonight i removed someone from my friends list because i read his profile and a) he smokes and b) he likes his women "on the thin side".

ooops! counts ME out!

 smilincaligal198
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 35
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/12/2005 3:47:46 AM
yea, i have been hesitant to talk to a guy because of my weight. thats why i usually wait for them to come to me
 4rum guy
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 36
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/12/2005 10:14:33 AM
I know i'm not exactly what you'd call a "larger" lady.
In fact, i'm not even a "lady".
I'm a guy.

And as a guy, i say, that if your messaging guys with similar interests to your in your general area and they don't respond : F**K 'em, you don't need that sh#t.

You have a good profile and photos, i don't see any problems here.
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 37
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/12/2005 11:10:42 AM
Tuc Biscuit:

Amen brother! Couldn't agree with anyone more.

Smilincaligal

I would like to encourage you to just go for it. If you see someone who interests you, by all means write to them.

The only thing you have the possibility of losing is the amount of time you invest in putting together the message. Not really that much to lose, is there?

I used to be very hesitant to write to people myself. But no more. Write to the most attractive one you can find. You just may be pleasantly surprised.

As you write to more and more people, you will find that you become more and more comfortable with the whole process. And yes, you will also constantly be finding new ways to refine your approach. With this will come increased confidence on your part. Sure, there will always be rejection and non-response. That is no reflection on you. There is quite a magical process which goes on as to whether two people "mesh" or not. It goes far, far beyond your size.

If I lived closer to you and was a little closer to your age, I would write to you without hesitation.

Hang in there. It will happen.
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 38
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/12/2005 11:12:13 AM
Smileymas:

 pinkrosesinbc
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 39
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/12/2005 12:08:35 PM
Hey there zgirl,

I been there b4 about messaging a guy...should I or shouldn't I thoughts came 2 me, esp. about wheather to meet a guy cause well I am fat...

I am ok with being fat, But I am not happy with it.

I've been in situations where a guy have told me, they thought I do whatever just because I am fat. Which isn't the way I like 2 be treated.

I try 2 read a guy's profile and see what he's looking for and compare it to what I am looking for esp. about body types.

I try 2 avoid those types of guys if I see a sign that they don't like fat/bbw/chubby etc. girls cause I figure they're not going 2 respond to my message.

Hope that wasn't 2 much 2 read :)
 tunesman
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 40
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 6/12/2005 12:44:35 PM
Divinebovine:

I see a truly wonderful person who is being far too hard on herself; this is very sad.

I have put together some thoughts on your profile, which I was going to e-mail to you. You unfortunately do not accept mail from outside your area.

If you'd like to write to me, I'll gladly share that with you.

Don't give up the faith.
 bestyet
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 49
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 7/5/2005 9:12:24 PM
i would say that it all depends who the person is obviously every person would want their mate to be hot and its a completely natural phenomenon so there should be nothing personal about it.
 diverse33
Joined: 7/5/2005
Msg: 51
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 7/6/2005 5:28:22 PM
well when its all said and done, the fact remains a fit athletic guy is not going to settle with an overweight 250lbs woman and vise versa...... but if it does its very rare!!!
 mx2947
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 55
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 7/7/2005 8:26:04 PM
Wow, I've just read all the posts... I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with this problem/way of thinking... I look at myself and wonder why a guy would bother with me when there are so many other beautiful women out there, but then I look at all of you girls's profiles and think you girls are crazy. You women are all so beautiful and I think you should be confident and proud of who you are. I'm a big believer in not conforming to society's unattainable ideals, but yet i feel that I have to. I would love to be able to think that about me, but i don't think i ever will... hopefully one day i'll be able to look at myself in the mirror and accept and appreciate what i see. For now i'll just sit back and wait for some guy to like me for me.
 SweetKristine
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 59
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 7/8/2005 5:11:58 AM
well when i look at my pics and ratings, and I have seen some really nice looking men rate me at 10 (I think I'm far from that) and I think they are just making fun


^^^amen sister!!...i am about ready to take down my pic for ratings..i look at the guys who have rated me a 8 or higher..and im like i think they are just doing it to make fun of me...my average rating is like a 2.4 LOL


Argh! If i had my choice id put Yea im fat deal with it...i dont consider myself beautiful because im big..i think i have a great personality and big heart which makes me beautiful in some eyes.

As far as emailing..I have given up...I dont email anyone anymore..there is only so much rejection a girl can take...and rude emails the same way!
 SweetKristine
Joined: 8/26/2004
Msg: 61
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 7/8/2005 1:24:28 PM
WHY am I doing this?". I want to live...and if it happens to be living in a plus sized body, so be it

^^amen...why i have lost 25 lbs..im not gonna STOP living my life b/c i happen to be in a big body right now....I can still be beautiful to myself..and in someone's eyes
 zanzibar196
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 69
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 7/16/2005 2:33:42 PM
My answer to your question from a man's perspective:

I don't want to date barbie (or one of those super-models). Sorry, but I find those types of women repulsive. Give me a normal sized woman any day of the week!! So... can I get your phone number, baby?
 maxxoccupancy
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 72
view profile
History
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 4/6/2009 4:01:48 PM
In reference to one of your asides, OP, I think that skinny people seem to have more issues and obsession with weight that softer/larger men and women. I am thin and athletic myself, and I notice that I obsess almost constantly over health. Still, even I don't mind receiving the occasional complement or chat from plus sized women, even ones who are a generation older than I am.

So I would say yes, that women (or men) who are not getting enough hits should send out messages and see what kind of responses they get. If beautiful people have to wade through too many messages, sucks for them.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 74
view profile
History
A question for you larger ladies...
Posted: 4/6/2009 6:08:00 PM

Do you hesitate to mail a guy thinking that he wouldn't like you based on your weight?


yes.

there are so many men in this area with great profiles and i'd love to send them an email based on what they've written... but i won't.

and i've recently shed 50 pounds and i still won't do it...
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