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 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 26
First Meeting Coffee or??????Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I agree with Wanna.... ^^^^^^

Notice, that we haven't had one person who insists on dinner as a date respond to this thread and justify their position? I find that interesting...

At one of the recent events I did hear one woman say that she insists on dinner out because guys who are too broke to afford car insurance will rarely ever take someone out for a nice dinner so it was her way of making sure she didn't waste time on "loosers" - hmmmm....
 geminidandan
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 27
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:40:27 AM
I agree, the Lady Fish's who insist on Dinners,Drinks, High End Resturants... have not replied, if you say NO! you are tagged as being cheap, but if they would put themselves in our shoes I wonder how they would feel??????????:
 someonesx
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 28
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:45:13 AM

the Lady Fish's who insist on Dinners,Drinks, High End Resturants... have not replied, if you say NO! you are tagged as being cheap, but if they would put themselves in our shoes I wonder how they would feel


Simple solution-don't date those kinds of lady fishes and they won't be able to call you cheap...
 Cajun3149
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 29
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 4/29/2008 4:11:16 PM
I usually try to have more than one conversation with the ladies. E's and leading to talking on the phone. If I talk enough (either e's or phone) and feel that we might click or at least be friends, I try to take them somewhere and being old fashioned, I pay. It's my choice of what I want to do. I've had ladies say "dutch" and I wait till they are not looking or bathroom, etc. and pay the bill LOL. Again, I'm old fashioned LOL.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 30
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:46:57 PM
funny, I usually try to keep the emails and phone calls to a minimum for two reaons:

1) I dont want to waste time when, 90% of the time, they will show up not looking anything like their pictures and that part in the profile where they are a flight attendant/model/lawyer/doctor/pick a career - and you learn they haven't worked in that field in 20 years.

2) It shows a lot about a womans self confidence when they will up and meet quickly and be comfortable in the surroundings.

I have been burned on #1 tooooooooo many times and on #2, self confidence is at the top of my list in desireable traits.
 bocadeb
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 31
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:44:06 PM
I have found men do the same thing Pete. It makes no sense to me as to why people lie on their profiles. Once you agree to meet the lies will be pretty obvious. Makes you wonder.....if they lie on profiles, what else are they deceptive about?

I have no problem meeting someone after one phone call or with short notice if I can make it. My profile is honest. A woman must be comfortable with herself and who she is in order to portray a positive attitude. Those who lie on profiles are dealing with much deeper issues. Its not fair to the person you are going to meet. They deserve your utmost respect and honesty. I would expect to get the same in return.

So for all of you that are not being honest on your profiles, please take the time to edit and be truthful. You will find that you will have a much better chance of meeting someone who accepts you for who you are. Don't cater to the world we live in today that pressures us to be something we are not or makes us feel like we have to be someone other than ourselves!! I like being ME!
 Cajun3149
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 32
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/3/2008 1:57:09 PM
Froggy, I have to disagree with you on especially that 90%. What I've found is that the ones that are reluctent to meet and say that they like your profile, picture, etc. are usually the ones that have the older pictures or something else that is not the exact truth in their profile. Those are easy to weed out. Those without a picture usually say something like they don't know how to put them in or they don't have one. Either way, I see no problem with them getting a picture with all the people these days with phone cams. Again, easy to weed out. A few years ago, on another site, I met one my age that said she had the normal looks of a woman our age. Heck, she was the twin of "Granny" on the Beverely Hillbillies LOL. One I've talked with the last couple of months put me off 2 years ago with excuses over excuses. I did not talk with her for some time and now, she contacted me and also has been giving excuses for not meeting. Guess her pictures or something is not up to date or hiding something. Thus, I don't need much to put up a "red flag" and that 90% can go out the window if you read between the lines and not bother to meet them LOL.

I have to say that I've met some really nice and lovely ladies from this site and another site. I've met more of them than the ones you count in that 90% because of weeding out before meeting and using common sense. I've just not found the right one for me, but, some have become good friends. I'm still
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 33
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:12:15 PM
That's the part I'm missing!!!! The common sense part! LOL

Actually, in almost two years on here I have had coffee with 7 women and had lunch with one of those about 3 months after we had coffee. Not exactly been a good fishing hole for me but because of all the events I host I have made a lot of great, great friends and that's worth more than gold to me.

I too use another site and I only post my profile there when I'm looking for someone to date and I always end up meeting a stellar woman in less than 30 days. Hasn't been one from there that I've dated for less than 6 months... in the end, all great women (testified by the fact that we are all still friends) but just not the "stuff" needed to last for the remaining 25 or so years I may have left... although this current one shows some serious promise!
 catbaloo57
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 34
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:22:56 PM
I don't think it's a bad Idea As the man say's it's quiet. I am not the type that would take advantage of a guy. Your there to meet the guy!
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 35
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:12:52 PM
so take her to McDonalds -even let her supersize her food... any woman who insists in her profile, she be bought a meal on the first meeting should be passed over and be left home alone with her 39 cats.
(drinks/coffee and snacks) are the way to go for the first meet -that way if you have to run screaming from the restaurant,
-at least you have your dignity in tact.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 36
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:29:44 AM
Well... lets not forget that a Venti Mocha, 5 shot, carmel machiato costs about $7 plus what ever she eats... you could easily be out $20 for coffee! LOL

My rule, for the longest time, is that I never spend more than $20 per date for the first three dates. I have always endeavored to find activities that were fun, cheap or free, easy and where you could spend some quality time getting to know the person.

And I guarantee you, if she hangs around for 3 dates where you dont spend money on her, she's interested in YOU and not anything else. PLUS if it bothers them, you find out real quick whether they have the relationship skills to discuss the matter with you or if they make judgments about you and disappear without a conversation. It does a lot of weeding out in a very effecient manner.

And that strategy has worked quite well for me as the LTRs I have had have all been with completely stellar women.
 oceanblueatbeach
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 37
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/7/2008 10:23:17 AM
Hi everybody!
I believe that coffee or ice-cream are great for a first meeting. It's important to allow ourselves time to talk and exchange ideas. I don't like to spend a lot of time with somebody I don't enjoy. It's important to treat everybody's time as precious, so let's find out if a "first date" would be worth our time.
Good luck to everybody out there!
Ocean
 nobrumski
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 38
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:01:15 PM
Hmm whenever I go out on a first date I always went with a casual dinner something cheesy like Chili's. Then again I don't drink coffee.
 geminidandan
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 39
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/7/2008 11:54:51 AM
So I must be pretty stupid, Last nigh first meeting with a lady from POF, we meet at Barnes&Noble on Glades in Boca, she already had her coffee ddi not bother to ask if I wanted one, I bought mine offered her another and we sat outside and talked for about 45 mins, she kjept asking if I wanted to have a drink and I just continued the conversation, finally she said she had to use a bathroom and instead of going into the bookstore proceeded down to the Local rest/ with the HUGE BAR, I waited by the door and then she said she was going to have a drink, so we sat at the bar I ordered a Vodka Rocks she orders LONG ISLAND ICE TEA..Ok...we talked some more I was getting hungry it wasalready 9:30 so I ordered a salad and so did she the most expensive one on the menu, guess what she orders another LI Iced Tea.. She could not finish the salad so asked for a doggy bag and if she can have some bread to take with it and if it was free!!! Bill comes $67.00 plus tip= $77.00 first meeting, and of course never even offers to pay towards it.....so bang me over my head I still have not learned the ways around this.,.............Dan
 bocadeb
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 40
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/7/2008 2:28:58 PM
OMG Dan...come here...let me hit you over the head!!! I was down the street at the Boca Ale House last night. You should have gone there and bought her the $1.oo drinks!! You are such a softy. Thats a great quality in a man, but there are just too many women that know how to use that to their advantage. They are nothing but piranhas! When she said she was going to have a drink that was a red flag!! She was going to have that drink with or without you! It makes it so hard for the rest of us women who show respect and don't want to use and abuse a man just to get something.

How come the "good guys" end up with the "users" and not with the women who would treat them like gold? So hard fish in the pond and never know what kind of fish your going to reel in! Maybe thats why I tend to dip my toe in the pond and not dive into the deep end. Now if only someone would teach me to swim!!! LOL

Dan your a sweetheart. I am so sorry that happened to you last night. Hang in there and next time wear your running shoes just in case!!!
 geminidandan
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 41
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:13:28 PM
Deb... The softy in me is now gone, these females are PRO'S at this, think it is about time to let the Fish swim and maybe take a breather from this, It is starting to be a crock of S**T.. Danny
 bocadeb
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 42
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/7/2008 6:49:12 PM
Don't let the bad ones drive you away. I know I would greatly miss seeing you here! It renews my faith that the good guys still exist. Not sure if you were at the Safari Club Thurs night but would have been honored to have met you and said hello. Hang in there Dan!!
 wolfie34761
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 43
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:42:31 AM
EEEEEgads!!! i have been on this site for almost two years, and i have dated only a few people, i have had several "meetings" and even a couple of lunch meets........i am amazed at the audacity of women who use men to get a "free meal"......"free drinks" etc. i went out to lunch with a guy twice, and i knew he was "not my type" and i felt no connection with him......i offered to pay for my own meal, but he wouldn't let me..........and i actually felt GUILTY for him paying when i knew i was going to tell him i only wanted to be "friends". well, he paid, i felt guilty and never heard from him again..........

i have also been at the other end.......i have been stood up SEVERAL times and have now made it my "rule" that i don't meet for anything.......not, coffee ( i don't drink it) or drinks (been there done that) or dinner.......unless i have had a LOT of conversations with the person first.....and even that doesn't ensure a "pleasant experience".........Now, i tell them if they want to meet me, they should atttend a POF function where i will be and that way, if they don't show, i'm still having fun, and they should not feel obligated to buy my food or drinks, because i was planning on going anyway..........and if they do show and we don't hit it off, i can introduce them to everyone else......and everyone has a good time. i have not made a "love connection" yet, but some of my friends have and i have made some great new friends, male and female......and isn't that really where it all starts, with friendship ??
and if there is no party planned, i plan one!!! for the guys who say "i don't do well in crowds", " i prefer a face to face, private meeting" or even the "but i want to meet YOU not everyone else...." i say.............."if you want to meet me, you will be there...." sometimes they show up, some times they don't. but i figure they have done me a favor.............

happy fishing y'all !!! Wolfie
 Skyliner1001
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 44
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:45:50 PM
The tradition that a male pay for the date goes back to a time when men made more money than women. This put woman in a subserviant position and gave men more control and power. It's the age-old "sex for money" deal. Thankfully, those days are gone, and women have their own financial freedom. Still, though, the expectation is that the man pays. This may be a "gender role" that many have grown up to accept.

I would think that a relationship is all about sharing. Good times, bad times, Happiness, Sadness, and financial issues that involve the couple. Each person should pay their share of the costs of a date, since both are enjoying one another's company and the meal/drinks/movie. This idea is often met with accusations of being "unromantic" or "cheap", but I think it is practical, realistic and breaks the sex-for-money expectations.
 geminidandan
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 45
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:46:30 PM
I understand the old role that the male pays, ok..but on the first meeting she can be courteous to offer and give me the chance to say yes or no!!! sometimes even leaving the date or meeting without even a THANK YOU!!! and when you bring it up to them they say OH I FORGOT!!! How the hell can you forget!!!!!Dan
 Sunscent06
Joined: 6/23/2007
Msg: 46
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/12/2008 2:54:43 PM
I paid for my last date.He invited me out................I offered to pay and I did.
I have a rule...don't date if you can not afford to.If I do go out for a dinner date I will pay for my share.This says a lot about a person...
I just totally HATE the coffee at Starbucks!Sorry guys!
 LINDEE-1
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 47
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:30:59 PM
Guys how about a nice walk (beach isnt needed) walking and talking go hand in hand...no across the table interview or mouths full of food.. any takers????
 Skyliner1001
Joined: 5/26/2007
Msg: 48
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/13/2008 6:08:13 AM
From: MsChef (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hello Sent Date: 6/12/2008 11:03:34 PM


Perhaps this message I received after meeting a lady once will answer the question. Note that she had agreed to see me again during the lunch and that she automatically assumes that I can't afford to buy her lunch:

"I thought about our meeting today. You asked me to be honest and I will. I was considering going on another date but I have decided to change my mind. I don't think that I have the chemistry necessary for a relationship and although I would have given it another date I've decided not to. I must say that I was surprised when you asked me to lunch that you didn't offer to pay. I can well afford to pay for my own lunch but I would have been a nice gesture. I guess I am just old fashioned. Perhaps at this time you do not have the funds and I have been there before. But I am not comfortable in that type of relationship. I hope you understand and I did appreciate the opportunity to meet you."
 CoffeeGirl63
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 49
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First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:57:19 AM
Wow Skyliner, at least you know now what she's like before you invested any serious time/money into it.

Me I prefer coffee, drink, tea, ice cream for a first date. Somewhere that you can actually talk and get to know one another. After that who knows but in the beginnings I don't think a lot of money should be invested by either party. If you want to take someone to dinner (male or female) early on, there are a lot of extremely reasonably priced restaurants. But there are other options as well, 2nd or third date - picnic, outdoor free concerts, beaches, etc..... I would love to be asked on a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th date, etc....to any one of those things! Hmmm maybe I am a cheap date!!
 TipTopGal
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 50
First Meeting Coffee or??????
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:45:37 PM
Why would anyone want a first meeting to be over a dinner that could last 3 hours when you might not want to invest more than a short time with each other? Sometimes first meetings need to be a last as well - if it's working, then set up the next one.
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