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 janni62
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 159
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a PartnerPage 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Yep.. been there done that. To NOLA, andserendipity and liz - Thank you for saying and explaining this so eloquently. It's difficult for most to understand.

Been a long road. Was married for nealy ten years. Had 4 babies in that time and we moved about 8 times. Ex was charming - most addicts and abusers are - master at finding someone to take care of them. He chipped away at me and I was slowly but surely isolated from family and friends. When I began taking care of me - all the money I had to use to counseling had to come from tutoring I did. Household funds were used mostly to cover his bar tab. The fact that I was going to counseling was used against me. At the time I did see the emotional abuse, finally. I also finally realized that he and I were teaching our children by example, that this is how men and women treated each other.

I'd like to say I left. I didn't. The kids and I moved 2 states away for a job that I found. Six months later he admitted that he was not moving down here to be with us. In some ways I was very lucky.

Went to counseling for a while. The girls have been as well. It is a slow process, but so worthwhile. I still deal with triggers - a fowl smelling drunk or someone who is alcoholic and has "that" smell coming through their pores, an abuser yelling at their SO or kids. What I didn't even realize until I finally started dating again was that there had been sexual abuse. Thinking about getting close to my guy brought it back. Luckily for me, he is extremely kind and understanding and has been helping me overcome this part of it.

Seeing me now, most people cannot imagine the mouse I had become before. Still... you come to a point where the curtains are lifted and you see the abuser for who they really are. While I wish my kids had not had to see the things that they did, we worked hard to have them be as healthy as possible. They do not know all of it.

All good wishes to those who are in the midst of this, have been through or are supporting us. If you're in it now - you DO have the strength to get out and be on your own. You are worthy of being loved and will be.
 firegurl61-17
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 160
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:58:07 PM
Janni NOLA, serendipity and liz and all who have endured this and continue to...you are strong formidable women and CAN survive this...don't let their fear tactics stop you....thanks once again also for mentioning this happens to men as well...I find it interesting how someone like this can trigger mental breakdown in their victims...my hand is out to anyone who needs help up to never be a victim again. Its hard work but you will be better alive and happy for leaving it behind. Brings new meaning to Living strong! Hugs all.
 sweetgirltech
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 161
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History
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:44:55 PM
12 years of hiding and living like an animal...gun to my head when i was sleeping, breaking in, totalterror

I m free now....
 chrisann23
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 162
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/11/2008 6:32:25 PM
Mentally first and then physically. IT took two years of counselling for me, after I threw him out and called off the wedding to get my head back on straight. It made me a strong woman. I think that scares off guys now, because I am very self sufficient. I never want to be in a position again where a man has complete control over me, my finances and my life.
 Athena82
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 163
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:30:47 PM
Here's my story in a nutshell, at 14 I was very young and stupid met a guy fell in what I thought was love walked up to him at school he slammed my head into a brick wall for interrupting him... I thought that was supposed to not happen to people but of course I forgave him when he apologized 2 days later, a couple weeks later he slapped me in front of some friends at school laughed about it... i broke up with him again, he tried to convince me to come back I didn't want to he had his friends blow up my home phone he molested me in school in the middle of class I thought that it wasn't right but was stupid as he continually apologized and got back with him then serious violence started, including use of weapons and death threats. I'm not going to go into the details of the rest of the relationship but just know it turned out even worse and I somehow survived.
Every relationship after that followed with some sort of physical sexual or mental abuse from a partner, I've been beaten cut raped choked kicked punched just had the immortal shit beaten out of me hit by my own car tossed out of my house and put in the hospital before, all in the name of love. I've gotten away from every one of these relationships alive somehow. I was with one guy for 4 years the abuse didn't start until year 3 and I stayed with him that extra year hoping and praying he would go back to when I first met him but it didn't happen.
The last guy I was with I was engaged to had the audacity to slap me choke me and slam me against the wall in front of my at the time 2 year old daughter. He apologized and realized what he did wrong he also backhanded me at a friends place outside the complex in front of several people I just sat down and gave up at that point. I wound up staying with him until recently he of course hadn't touched me since then but still the fact is every relationship i've ever been in has ensued some sort of physical mental sexual or emotional abuse.
 marianda10
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 164
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History
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:18:03 PM
After 30 years of verbal abuse and controlling behavior (the reason I stayed is to complex), my husband finally asked me for a divorce because he found a girlfriend 30 years younger than him. I know the progression will be the same and I am almost sorry for her. After two years on my own, I am finally starting to come to terms with the fact that I am a worthy human being and he was the slimeball because of his actions and enjoyment of them. The divorce was the best thing he every gave me. I am extremely sensitive to men I date and if any of the red flags go up, I am gone. The funny (not really) is that now he is extremely nice and can't show enough how much he wants me to be his friend. I am not real sure but I think 30 years of hell excludes the friendship thing. Thanks for listening. The ones who have not been through it can not understand how horrible it is and how you realize that when it is over. I wish strength to everyone facing this and courage to get out of it.












how much he still cares for me (like he every did)
 marianda10
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 165
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History
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:18:20 PM
After 30 years of verbal abuse and controlling behavior (the reason I stayed is to complex), my husband finally asked me for a divorce because he found a girlfriend 30 years younger than him. I know the progression will be the same and I am almost sorry for her. After two years on my own, I am finally starting to come to terms with the fact that I am a worthy human being and he was the slimeball because of his actions and enjoyment of them. The divorce was the best thing he every gave me. I am extremely sensitive to men I date and if any of the red flags go up, I am gone. The funny (not really) is that now he is extremely nice and can't show enough how much he wants me to be his friend. I am not real sure but I think 30 years of hell excludes the friendship thing. Thanks for listening. The ones who have not been through it can not understand how horrible it is and how you realize that when it is over. I wish strength to everyone facing this and courage to get out of it.












how much he still cares for me (like he every did)
 firegurl61-17
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 166
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:12:11 AM
Thats just it...they don't care at all. They just try to give you the perception that they do...its a trap everytime. I think its so common place these days and wasn't talked about as much back in the day..that no one has a clear comparison of what should be normal behavior. Abusers take advantage of this... are never held accountable unless they do something very public/or are reported. They also have their network of people in their lives that continue to enable their bad behavior...like family members friends ect. I say if something doesn't feel right it most likely isn't right. Trust your gut its there for a reason.
 slonce55
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 167
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 10/12/2008 3:13:25 PM
Yes, well once I had a bf, we lived together. He had a temper but was not really violent until one day he hit my nose. It was not really hard. His excuse was he wanted to garb me and accidently he hit me. My nose really did not hurt but there was blood everywhere I could not stop bleeding.
I gave him three days to move out. I said if u do not move out I will report you and get a restraining order.
It is was a sad story, he was not some kind of low life person. He was a physicist and a Mensa member. I did not drug, smoke , or used drug. He had just a lot of anger inside.
 familygal2
Joined: 2/13/2009
Msg: 168
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 9:42:58 PM
yes very! he was a real cooter triple 6. physically and mentally verbally to people , my family,animals. Always threatened dont make Gwito come out! stole fuel from job sites. Had no respect for women! nor did his freinds. two timed belittled women . His hole life was a lie.the house he said he owned was rented he lived off his son 23 and his nephew. Never held a job ,enough to get I.E.Said he was a mechanic had no certification.The hunting mounts on his wall were from a garage sale and given to him . Mother had said, his said! Always gave other women compliments in front of me and I never received one.Id ask him why he`d say, stop being insecure.Never was allowed any signs of me around his home! found womens sun glasses clothing around his room . H e tried to convince me they had to be mine . Never any pics allowed of us two. Late night phone calls from women ,said it was his sister.never would leave his phone unattended. Freaked if it rang and I went anywhere near it. Stocked my home if I was at home. get pissed off if I was in town . CANCELL DATES LAST MIN. HEAD STRAIGHT TO MY BEDROOM AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY OR NIGHT TO SEE IF SOMEONE WAS THERE. iT WAS A LIVING HELL! The coldstream will never be the same!
 MandaKay
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 169
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:08:01 PM
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner


Yes....and it ended with me having to shoot him.
 Ameerra
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 170
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:25:08 PM
To this thread for breaking the silence. To think, someone on POF tried to tell me that abuse was a rare occurrence.
These are the types of stories that need to be told -- it is how people can begin to break the cycle, by being honest.
 Kindredpage
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 171
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:45:57 PM
You are a strange man
 daydream angel
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 172
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History
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:50:08 PM
Yes I was once in an abusive relationship.I came close to death several times .I was under his control .I couldnt leave .He was good at psycological warfare. I was a zombie running on autopilot.It was mental sexual and physical abuse. The turning point was when he threatened to kill my kids .I ran to the neighbors busted in their door hid my kids under their beds called the police.
My abuse was hid so well.I couldnt let anyone know I failed my 2nd marrage.I got good at coverin bruises black eyes I had his foot print on my stomach many times.I wore long sleeves . was scared to go out in my yard for fear of explaing to someone who saw me about the bruises.Towards the end the beatings were more often and worse.Id get so Id blank out ,pretend I was in another place.Id smile and bounce around like a rag doll as he beat me cause if I faught back he would draw blood. or worse do it in front of my kids. (remember we couldnt leave there was no help we couldnt leave we'd die)
it was getting rough he was chokingme one night I go in and out of concious.the went for my kids .I dont know where my strength came from but I caught him off guard and faught him like a man.Grabbed my kids ran for help and kept running .We left with nothing but the clothes on our backs and never stopped.
Its been many horrid events some I know I blocked out many too grusome to speak of to an audience were you cant see the compassion in their eyes (on forum instead of in person)many events hard to talk about.
This was 13 years ago.Ive been happily divorced ever since.I had to do alot of counceling along with my kids .The one thing I needed to know was why .I desperately needed to know why.It haunted me for years .I could never heal until I knew why.
I found this book "why does he do this to me"by lundy ????? sorry I made an earlier post of it in the forums I forget who the author is. this book answered all of my questions.I read it and cried it all out .For a couple days all I could do was hold the book and cry.Now my past no longer makes me cry.
Its been 13 years I feel healed .It was my choice to heal .Hes not controling me now.Im happy my kids are happy. Its my choice that he no longer decides my fate or happiness.
 Kindredpage
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 173
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 10:58:37 PM

Yes I was once in an abusive relationship.I came close to death several times .I was under his control .I couldnt leave .He was good at psycological warfare. I was a zombie running on autopilot.It was mental sexual and physical abuse. The turning point was when he threatened to kill my kids .I ran to the neighbors busted in their door hid my kids under their beds called the police.
My abuse was hid so well.I couldnt let anyone know I failed my 2nd marrage.I got good at coverin bruises black eyes I had his foot print on my stomach many times.I wore long sleeves . was scared to go out in my yard for fear of explaing to someone who saw me about the bruises.Towards the end the beatings were more often and worse.Id get so Id blank out ,pretend I was in another place.Id smile and bounce around like a rag doll as he beat me cause if I faught back he would draw blood. or worse do it in front of my kids. (remember we couldnt leave there was no help we couldnt leave we'd die)
it was getting rough he was chokingme one night I go in and out of concious.the went for my kids .I dont know where my strength came from but I caught him off guard and faught him like a man.Grabbed my kids ran for help and kept running .We left with nothing but the clothes on our backs and never stopped.
Its been many horrid events some I know I blocked out many too grusome to speak of to an audience were you cant see the compassion in their eyes (on forum instead of in person)many events hard to talk about.
This was 13 years ago.Ive been happily divorced ever since.I had to do alot of counceling along with my kids .The one thing I needed to know was why .I desperately needed to know why.It haunted me for years .I could never heal until I knew why.
I found this book "why does he do this to me"by lundy ????? sorry I made an earlier post of it in the forums I forget who the author is. this book answered all of my questions.I read it and cried it all out .For a couple days all I could do was hold the book and cry.Now my past no longer makes me cry.
Its been 13 years I feel healed .It was my choice to heal .Hes not controling me now.Im happy my kids are happy. Its my choice that he no longer decides my fate or happiness.
Wow, that is hard to read. It's nice to know you and your kids got out and survived. Sorry this type of abuse has to happen to anyone
 daydream angel
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 174
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/11/2009 11:22:23 PM
Thank you Kindredpage its hard to talk about and sometimes seeing my scared body reminds me of a particular moment.However I hope someone experiencing my past gets the help quicker.There is help . You must be discrete when your leaving or preparing to leave its the most dangerous time. Go through your childs school .A guidence councelor has the info you need and resources to help.Its hard to leave you have a fear of having to come back and face him.Your self esteem needs rebuilding. Your kids are suffering more than you can imagine.
A womens shelter can give you a list of things to do to prepare for your uh break out.
They can tell you what to expect and help finnancialy and with protection.
The emotional roller coaster starts and can be overwhelming. You dont need to do it alone. Above all put your kids first .It will guide you and drive you. again get that book "why he does it to me"( I must recheck tittle again too, sorry)
The poster Ive seen realy breaks me down is the one with the bruised up woman with black eyes standing with a casket and roses in background saying"Today he bought her roses .I pictured my family standing next to mine casket many times not knowing about the abuse I suffered.And me knowing they would have helped if only they knew.Its a game of shame and guilt and fear.
My family know s some of it now but it took many years to get it out of me.some days iit flows like a river some days I can hardly speak of it.
 oskyangel
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 175
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 12:56:32 AM
Okay let me tell you something ,people wonder why woman stay or men for that matter in an abusive relationship ....

It is due to the fact they wear you down so bad mentally that you start beleiving it ...
Physically because they know that you are scared of them and all they have to do is raise there hand to you and you flinch....
Emotionally you feel that it is somhow your fault and who would want you after wards ....
This is how most abused people feel...I was one of them until 2003 when I met the love of my life .... we are not together any more but for 6 yrs I didn't have to look over my shoulder!!!!! I wasn't treated badly and that opened my eyes for even though we are not together... he showed me that there is more to life than abuse and that for the first time I didn't have to be afaid to live, and for that I will always love him ..So for those of you out there who feel there is no way out. There is you just have to say enough is enough and walk away!!! It may seem hard at first but I had to do it and if I can get out of 12 years of hell to find happiness and my self it was worth it ...
You are better than that!!!! Happiness is waiting go get it !!!
 mostlyhappy
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 176
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History
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 1:40:14 AM
I was emotionally and mentally abused by my husband. Little by little I accepted treatment and forgave things I never should have. When it happens very slowly, very subltly, you tell yourself that it's not abuse, that you are just overreacting.
Eventually, your whole personality gets erased. I'm working to recover mine, but it's hard to work through your past whilc trying to build a present and look for a future. Even after you get them out of your life, the issues they created inside you can come up and grab you or cloud your thinking just when you get a great opportunity for the present or for the future. It's such a part of your history that when you're getting to know someone, it will inevitibly come out. I see that a lot of people do not want to deal with anyone with any kind of history.
 Pinkribbonsinthesky
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 178
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 5:32:24 AM
It takes great courage to stay within an abusive marriage


and


tremendous strength to leave.


The relief and weight lifted from your shoulders when you become "you" again is priceless.

Remember: ALWAYS BE KIND TO YOURSELF...........YOU ARE WORTH IT.

FROM POLOR111...

BEAUTIFUL...
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 179
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 5:53:38 AM
I have been mentally, emotionally and physically abused by three of my husbands. One mentally and emotionally, the second mentally and emotionally and the third all three....Wow!

My children suffered from my indescretions and still struggle in relationship issues. I've felt deep guilt and shame as a result of it, even though I, myself was a victim.

I love who I am now...a much stronger woman deep in wisdom and much, much more aware of the possibility for that to happen again.

I've received counseling and have read several books on the topic, have come to an understanding of the way people think and behave and am much happier now than I have ever been.

Each man was charming, intelligent, but in street ways, not in true deep wisdom. None of them had a love for God or followed any tenet other than their own manmade one from their own imagination.

I'm now hoping some day to meet a man who is deep and caring, who is aware each and every day of his temporal existance and his need for guidance from an Eternal God. I want a tender man with morals and respect for women. I want a man who respected his parents and his mother and sisters in particular, who loves children and is a provider and protector.

I can and do make it quite well on my own and am a very strong woman, I could physically take a man down now because of the self defense classes I've taken, I am financially stable and surprise myself daily at how many issues in life I handle so very well and God has truly blessed me with an exceptional body.

My best wishes to you and my truest sympathy. Life can and will get better and you will survive, not just survive, but take the past by the horns and make it work for you. Don't remain a victim, be a winner in every respect.
 familygal2
Joined: 2/13/2009
Msg: 181
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 8:28:35 AM
To add more to my postMy 15 yr old daughter went to his home after the split His son 23 had flirted heavy with her. He already had a girlfreind 16 with a baby16 months old from another guy. They always told new people she was 23. She drank a great deal with them. She was a bad mother . The baby was a burdon when I met the girl.The guys always her offered her pot, drinks . She said all three were so creepy.They If I phoned there to check on her theyd lie that she wasnt there when she was. They took her places I`D NEVER APPROVE OF! Insisted they buy my 14 yr old a prostitute for his birthday. Sick! Always shot at the Canadian geese , beaver, neighbors dog. On Kal lake. Fire cracker thrown into schools of fish. Always threatened with guns.Have many threatening texts saved fro the nephew.In the summer the ex attacked my daughter 15 at the time. She asked him to be polite to us he was fighting with his son oiver a ski boat his son bought. He claimed it was his boat. He always claimed he bought !he owned every! He always wanted power and control! His attack on my daughter was witnessed by a off duty cop and his retired probation wife. they got us to safety. He had huge issues of erectile disfunction and no matter how supportive I was he raged it was my fault.The ex had a huge issue with the sons girlfreind always spoke he had to get rid of the ****!He wanted his son back . The three guys always belittle the girl for weight gain said shes going to look like shit in the summer.The son tried to control her! Like the father did to me .wE AS FEMALES WERE ALL TWO TIMED ON! Neither of us were letting it happen! THE THREE WERE CLUNG TO EACH OTHERS HIP! NO! FEMALE CAME FIRST NO MATTER WHAT !. THEY WOULD DROP FEMALES LIKE A HOT POTATOE IF ONE OF THEM WANTED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.i NSURANCE SCAMS THEY TRUMPED UP! TO PAY RENT. THE NEPHEWS MOTOR BIKE SCAM.TO SUPPORT A COCAINE DRINKING HABIT. THERE ARE STILL KIDS AROUND THESE GUYS AND ITS A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE ONE KILLS SOME ONE!
 familygal2
Joined: 2/13/2009
Msg: 182
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 10:27:57 AM
I AM A STRONG INDEPENDANT WOMEN! THERE IS NO MAN OR WOMEN WHO WILL EVER BREAK ME DOWN! I VALUE MYSELF AND OTHERS TOO MUCH! I POST PARTS! THERES ALOT MORE! OF MY ABUSE EXPERIENCE TO SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO ARE CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP OR COMMEND THE ONES THAT GOT OUT ALIVE! THIS IS A MESSAGE OF YOU CAN GET OUT SAFELY! I`M AFRAID FOR THEIR NEXT VICTIMS! I WAS NEVER AFRAID!!!!! I WILL NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO SAVE ANOTHER. THERE ARE STILL KIDS INVOLVED! THEY ARE NOT SAFE. YES!!!! MINISTRY IS NOTIFIED AS WELL AS RCMP.
 daydream angel
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 183
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 12:43:27 PM
Its a long road back to becoming" you" again.Most of the puzzel pieces have been rounded ,parts missing,picture roughed up.
I went through a spell where I played this game of testing your love. "hes mad now , is he gonna hit me or love me his time"sick game ,I know butI did this sabatoging my relationships for years .Not knowing I was doing it.Sometimes the guys would pass the test for a while but eventualy many tierd of the game quick.I did counceling and had to learn to trust in love all over again.
I occasionaly run into a person being abused and believe it or not you can sense the abuse radiating off them.You cant hide it from a fellow former abusee you see the hurt ,pain,shame. You want to grab them and run .Become a hero and save them all.You cant. Them leaving is their choice .They have to make that decission on their own. when your outside lookin in ,it looks like the obvious choice . But inside looking out ,its a scary big step.
You have many calling abuse , crying wolf when they are unfaithful themselves and causing extra tenssion in the relationship. Claiming abuse is the reason. You make the ones realy abused live worse .The athorities have delt with so many women with false claims they dont believe the abusee unless they see blood. or witness it.
 Icey43
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 184
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Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 2:26:12 PM
Yes, and thankfully he was the only one. And I learned from that horrible mistake.
I can see the signs much clearer and quicker now.
I have been single for as long as I have now in part due to the abuse I suffered from the person who was supposed to love, cherish and protect me.
I am very cautious about who I allow into my life.
 MikeM1968
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 185
Have You Ever Been Mentally or Physically Abused by a Partner
Posted: 4/12/2009 2:54:15 PM
Hey I stayed with a woman who cheated multiple times and even married her. I still consider what she did to be mentally abusive, however I do know that I was just stupid too. The other emotional abuse came from her after we were married. Why did I stay in it ? Because I had to *make* this relationship *work*. DUH!!

I'm willing to bet many believe they can make things work that they can't and that's why they stay in such crappy situations regardless of gender.

Many think that men don't get victimized by abuse either and that's just not true. It happens, we just don't hear about it all that much. Society (and threads like this - sorry for saying so, but it's true) would have all women fearful of ALL men due to the acts of a few real jerks. It's the old "one bad banana ruins the bunch" attitude. Hopefully many of you realize how unreasonable and unrealistic that way of thinking is.

I wish all of you who were victims the best and hope you learn that not ALL of us are like that.

Mike
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