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 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 72
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?Page 2 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
By the time we finally figured out the women didn't want us chasing them. They up
and wondered why we stopped chasing them. Enough years passed during the chasing
stage that we wore out and they wore out And then my darling ,my dear, the ladies
got indignant and wondered if it was their fault or our fault that they didn't seem appealing. Actually, we still promenade and chase...it's just at our own pace.
God ain't made nuthin' better for a ol' fool man than a woman. 'Cept maybe
an ol' fool woman.
Skunk...Just struttin' by with my Tail in the Air!


...This is uncanny. My gal pals and I were discussing this very topic at lunch today
Friend # 1....I think its all about the chase, men really love the chase.

Friend # 2...Yeah and as soon as they catch you they realize they really didn't want to catch you.

Me.....Did you two join POF?

BTW...Love the new pic skunky


...maeflowers
 Roxanne00
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 75
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:34:41 PM
"YES I AM SINGLE ASK ME ALREADY!"

lol! That was a great idea!
 kywindwalker
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 82
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:10:41 AM
i think that alot of us that were married for a number of years find it hard to get back into the dating thing...some may feel were not as good looking and the thought of rejection comes into playmabe we just revert back to thos shy teenage boys we once were
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 85
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/4/2008 10:05:22 AM

It all makes perfect sense, but as a woman I find the invitation to some activity confusing. Is he asking me on a date or does he really want someone to go bowling with? What do I say if I hate bowling? If I turn it down, am I turning down a date or an activity I don't like? Sometimes just being straightforward really helps.



...To me it would make perfect sense to go on the activity, if you don't want to go bowling, suggest a different activity. Don't complicate things by over analizing, is it a date or not....just go out and enjoy yourself.

...maeflowers



 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 89
men over 40
Posted: 5/5/2008 6:08:18 AM
IF , you ladies were to approch me . I would like it . I am still afriad of rejection . I am not good looking . NOT perfect by any means . there is one thing I DO miss and that is being in a relationship . I want a woman to fall in love with me , we live together . WE HAVE OUR OWN FUN . I am a stud yeah right I can't stop laughing that I said that . me a stud I look more like a oger .
 neo_anderson
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 94
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:18:59 PM
iam more inclined to speak to any girl now ..

Whats going to happen?
very few ignore me and walk off...

i talk to young girls /married women and even men...have a laugh
enjoy life

I love to meet new people
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 95
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/6/2008 4:40:00 AM
Yeah - I would say that over the years, I have learned to not even bother.

I mean - I am not looking for a neon sign hanging over the woman's head that reads "Come approach me - I'm availible"

However, it would be nice to see a bit of smile and a simple 'Hi' to know that she would be receptive to talking.

After approaching (i.e. just attempting to talking to) many women and having such advances rejected (they say a very curt 'hi' and look the other way), you get really tired of it all after years of it.

It happened this Saturday night. I was sitting at the bar at my favorite place having dinner. Two women trying to get a drink. I attempted to help them by getting the bartenders attention and strike up a conversation. No doing.

Hey, I don't really mind not striking up a conversation with every woman that I attempt to do so with, but jeez - the least you can do is be marginally friendly. That is the part of it that really turns me off on even trying ladies. Yikes. When merely saying a polite "Hi" or hello gets a nasty look snide look. Boy. What the heck is up with the world?

In order to get some responses I guess I need to get a polyester shirt, one of those gold horns and bath in Hia Karate to get women to talk to me. NOT!!! I would sooner put a bullet in my head than do that.

Ladies, a word of advice - when a guy says hello - be polite at least. If you don't want a date, that is fine - no one is saying that you do - however, I believe, that being polite is the least that you can do.
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 96
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/6/2008 4:57:24 AM

THEN ASK! Take a risk for once in your trap-door-spider-wait-until-the-one-comes-along lives.


I prefer the black widow analogy to the trap door version but I guess black widows are out in the open and act a certain way when they're horny. But I do see the similarities with the trap door version in some posts.
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 97
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/6/2008 6:33:44 AM

Now the average woman my age, if hit on by a stranger in a park, would know exactly how to brush him off and not worry about whether she was being polite.


Not afraid, just not worth the effort. Unless you indicate that you are receptive, why would anyone even bother to say "Hi" ?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 99
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:30:08 AM
I have no problem when I am out and about. I talk to both sexes. People from all walks of life. Never have been one to categorize due to others haves and have nots. Sometimes now though, being single? If I talk to a man I have to be careful if his lady is there. Even the simplest comment about say, perhaps a hammer, and next thing I know, his gal is right by his side! Wasn't a pickup line that I used either. I would like to think that I am approachable...least I hope I am!
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 102
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/6/2008 1:17:00 PM
and I get on almost never . well , the only one who does is my ex-girlfreind .
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 107
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:21:19 PM

Just curious My I, what kinds of things would be deemed a turn off??


One thing I shy away from are women who are my age (47) and have age restrictions of 30 - 49 and claim to be seeking "long term". It's not that I am judging her for "dating" younger guys. It's just the entire "Long term" premise seems off the wall.

Another turn off is a woman claiming to be working on her figure yet admits to eating cheeseburgers, chips and pop regularly. In other words... claiming to be what she isn't. I realise that is a very common occurrence for both genders... either way... it's a turn off - they are lying.

A barfly is a turn off.

Attention whores. In truth, I have little interest in befriending either gender with such behaviour.

I do find 40/50 something women with a sense of warmth, passion and sensuality to be very appealing. I think women at this age are more appealing than younger women..... but that's just me. My two longest relationships (14 years and 5 years) were with women 4 -5 years older than me. My only wish was that they were more mature (emotionally)... hence the "turn-offs".... I don't want a repeat.
 ginainarizona
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 115
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:26:30 AM
Yes I agree with Yepper it is the fear of rejection I think in my case. Also I look much younger so that might be it as well. Really we woman need to hear more from the mens point of view on this.
 ginainarizona
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 116
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:34:49 AM
I disagree with you on 4 and 5. I have very long hair will not cut it. Wear makeup, and workout. So not every women over 40ish is like that, but I will agree with you, that some women give up and dont care what they look like, and therefore wont be approached.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 123
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:40:24 PM
Terrified! We have all been caught before, and know the consequences. We are driven to approach them, but do so reluctantly, resigned to the inevitability of our fate.
 kwozi1
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 124
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:26:36 AM
You mean there is a rule?
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 130
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:07:45 AM
Just by the laws of probability, a good two out of every three men, age 40+ will have been falsely accused of at least one sex crime. From as mild as harrassment, to as serious as rape.

Tell me this ladies! If wearing sexy gear, and only wearing sexy gear, ran you the risk of being grabbed, on the street, by the cops, and charged with soliciting, would you continue to wear it without a second thought.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 131
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:16:20 AM

I am getting "gun shy" over the past 5 years because I have had close to 50 women tell me that I am a really nice guy,a good communicator,witty,intelligent etc however they always say "no chemistry" usually after the first date.I really do not know what constitutes attractiveness in a guy in his fifties to a women in the same age group.Personally ,I think online dating has been hard on my confidence.I used to have a little swagger when I was younger however reality has hit home for me.

I think many men my age are afraid of rejection because they know thier best days are long gone.Personally ,I am ready to grieve the loss of my youth & move on.


.... Yesterday I was pointing out a picture of Lance Armstrong to a co-worker and I commented on how handsome I thought he was. She didn't find him physically attractive at all ( she needs to have her eyes checked).....its all in the eye of the beholder.

There are a lot of people out there who have above average looks with zero personality. In my opinion, chemistry doesn't have a face, its usually the personality that attracts one person to another one.

...maeflowers
 totum_spirit
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 148
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/14/2008 7:00:21 PM
first my friend you are not to grieve your youth...embrace your wisdom and knowledge of living this many years. No chemistry is a sign that you are being too nice. Women in their 40's and up are mature sexual creatures and they love sex as good as any man. Take the knowledge of your sexual experience and share it with those women don't think that you are of no value but look at yourself as a man of value. Think about this one....33% of all females have never had their first orgasm...the sad part is this is the entire age range not just the older females but also the younger ones also. Be the gift to women...help her to achieve the most pleasure she can experience all women deserve that gift and all men should be the giver of that gift.
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 153
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:18:50 PM
I think we are more cautious over all.
 Beminetonight
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 156
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/16/2008 4:47:28 PM
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?

For me, definitely not. Back when I was a teenager or in my 20s I was petrified about approaching a girl/woman. The hormones pounding in the blood, the fear, the hope, it was an exhausting experience. Now it's much more relaxed. Flirt a little, suggest getting together, or even (ye gods!) hear her suggest getting together, or maybe it doesn't go anywhere at all, but the pressure just isn't there any more. I can't say for sure if it's the relaxation that comes with experience or sad to say, slowing down a bit, but either way, life is a lot calmer now. I can't deny that the rush was exciting back in the younger day, but I'm happy enough.
 chromeh1
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 157
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Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:48:41 PM
I am probably going to get a lot of flak from women over forty but I just have to jump up on my soapbox. When I was ready to start dating after my wife and I separated, I tried to approach women close to my age. I found them to be cold and indifferent or they were not interested in me at all. Purely by accident I met a very beautiful 31 year old and we ended up having a 6 month relationship. Since then I date women much younger than myself with a lot of success. The only people that look down on this behaviour are the same type of women over 40 that were not interested. I find women from 23 to 35 very affectionate and a lot of fun with very little expectations. To the gentlemen who think that they need the little blue pill, think again. nothing makes things work like they use to like making love to a woman that has not yet been jaded and doesn't bring baggage to bed. I recomend to any man over forty to look to younger ladies you will be surprised.Ok ladies, let er fly I can take it!!!!
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 159
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/17/2008 3:19:21 AM
Ya I can agree with the last poster I am kinda tired of chasing and hoping that women I do talk to would get the hint as the above poster says.

You got that women's lib thing going on so what happened to all that bravery that came out of all of that caterwalling over it.
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 160
Are men over 40 more afraid to approach women?
Posted: 6/17/2008 7:22:55 AM

What I was wondering is, are older men more wary of approaching women than they were when they were younger?


I'd say I was more naive when younger. But I would still pursue women now. It's just I am able to spot a problem sooner now because of experience. Does it take the fun out of things? No. It is I'd like for things to be easier than not.


Are there other factors involved that I'm not aware of?


Not really.


Are men really less inclined to take the risk of approaching a woman when they are older or is it just that they are no longer interested?


I think that if experience doesn't teach then that may be the bigger issue.
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