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 ther_mal
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 124
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?Page 4 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
most men show anger because they feel betrayed when they break up. i just got out of one and i proposed to hear and literally promised i would never leave. her trust in me after 9 months together way to get her sisters one in gov office and other in sale friendswith cops. to do a complete check on me my friends and family. i'll try and give you an explanation. for me i fall for you you get my honest love. from inside that place in my heart i guard very strongly. so when say you leave or i leave, its like men can't deal with lost like that. so we...them..use anger to deal with it . to surpress the emotion . sadness. lost. its easier to deal with a break up. if their a real human being the man feels great lost. i think its more severe and in that hard to comprehend and like what do i do how do i feel how do i go on. there are some who ( players) move from one woman to the next like trophies. once they get you they win ..on to the next conquest.personally i take it hard. been through a few. hard for me to think of her in the arms of another man. eats me up. but i deal with it tuck it away learn from it and get busy living or getbusy dying. i rather live. so i hope this helps.
 Dontmissthismiss
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 126
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:27:14 PM
Aint it the truth! This has happened to me, but I am grateful formy child!
 Dontmissthismiss
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 127
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:31:10 PM
A man like you is not good to find, the **** that hurt them make it impossible to bond with the right one that comes along afterward.
 Chagal116
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 128
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:33:02 AM
Thank you Psyche Doc,
Especially your point about how people know longer know how to date. I have noticed that people don't take the time to really court,to use an older expression.
I also think that the OP may have reached one of thoes turning points in that relationships where someone made the decision that had to be made . Does this relationship move forward or does it end. Just a thought.
 neaj28
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 130
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 5/30/2008 9:10:53 AM
I just wonder too ..HOW CAN MEN STOP HAVING FEELINGS SO QUICKL?

That's what i noticed from men they seem to be nice and show they're really true to what they're writing ..very touching words that made you believe in the end they stop so quick and i wonder again asking myself have i said anything to make them stop but i made myself patient just to wait anytime they feel like texting you or have a chat anyway i do feel this kind of relationship is UNBELIEVABLE sometimes it drive me crazy but now i am used to ...maybe men are really like that they're not contented of hurting ones feeling or they can't be sure who they're going to choose vice-versa also women but me ...i think i do stick to one when I can find someone who's loving and caring .....and would love me for what i am ...hard to find these kind of men but i can wait whenever.....I am just careful choosing coz i don't like to be hurt .....but i have to learn how men are.. accept the fact they're really don't feel how we feel...if they do they won't hurt our feelings I hope there are also kindhearted men out there
 simpleman20188
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 133
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:50:58 PM
It maqy not be gender specific.

Maybe some people just don't carry the baggage of failure any longer than they need to.
 Active14u213
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 134
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/2/2008 3:30:47 AM
The same way A Woman can!
NOT even an argument, go fiqure?
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 135
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:33:35 AM
I think it's especially easy for a man to move on when there is another woman around to put his attentions to. I would guess that in many of the "disappearing act" cases that they have found someone else, made a choice, and are too embarassed to tell the first woman, and don't want to go through that confrontation.
 theviking68
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 138
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/3/2008 2:53:31 PM
100% correct taralaraa men do not "show" their feelings any were near as much as woman,but believe me just because we don't show doesn't"t mean we don't hurt. so right about not telling friends and family.
 almostavgjoe
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 139
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/3/2008 3:11:51 PM
What I have gleaned from my two failed marriages, is that once a woman decides to leave, there's no turning back. A switch is turned off somewhere, and her ex is reduced to dirt on the floor. Not to mention that wife number two was extremely angry, despite the fact that she was the one who ended the marriage, with the help of her gym playmate.
I don't think this is a male oriented phenomenon.
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 141
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:39:51 AM
Didn't read all the posts, sorry. I don't think a man or a woman can stop having feelings so quickly IF they truly had any in the first place. I think women are far more adapt at processing emotions so when they do get to the point of leaving they have already worked through many things and are further along in the breakup. Men are more apt to stuff feelings (as one guy put - taught that big boys don't cry).

I think often it appears that men are hit harder by a breakup and women seem more easy to get over things only because of the difference in how we work through it. We women are emotional, we usually deal with our emotions more openly and men stuff. So who do you think will be healthier in the aftermath emotion wise?

That being said, I don't think either gender (if there are true feelings) is hurt any more or any less then the other party. And the anger that one might show (not just men, women too) is a mask to hide the pain.

In this area I feel sorry for men, they aren't as equipt to deal with emotions as we women and so they have a harder time. Just my opinion.


NOTE* Regardless of whether it's the man or woman, whoever is the one to initiate the breakup often has already gotten to some major point of working through things to even decide to leave so the other usually will have the harder time dealing with things. IMO.
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 143
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:58:06 PM
I interpreted her question as this: How can a man tell you that you're beautiful, sweet, love being with you, etc., etc., and then two days later end all contact? Are you that easily distracted by other women, enough so that you'll drop the one you're with to go chase after the next one that catches your eye? Men do this all the time.
 MLG42
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 144
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:37:10 PM
Phoenix1217
"I interpreted her question as this: How can a man tell you that you're beautiful, sweet, love being with you, etc., etc., and then two days later end all contact? Are you that easily distracted by other women, enough so that you'll drop the one you're with to go chase after the next one that catches your eye? Men do this all the time. "

And to say that women don't? I personally take some time to gather my thoughts. And I do mean a long time, Since most of my relationships have never lasted under 3 1/2 years. So yes it has been hard for me just to "END" a relationship, but for reasons that the woman has cheated on me.

And to let you know, Not everyone is as perfect as what you expect, I turned to my friends when I went thru my last relationship.(divorce)

"Are you that easily distracted by other women"

As for a answer here, I find that most women jump right back into a relationship faster than most males. And IMO most have someone lined up before they end the relationship.
 jeffreysearch
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 145
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:18:02 AM
Simple ! Guys can see whats coming ? and know the hardship of being with some women. I really dont think some women know how Difficult they are to be with, and how much Heartache and Stress they bring to us guys. It all comes down to the fact that ? Women can just `Stroll , into another relationship anytime. Well good ! but dont complain about your lives, if that is the Path you choose .... If you always think the `Grass is Greener on the Other Side ! you will never be Content. And you will ! till you are Past your use by Date and havnt got the Options you had in earlier life .
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 146
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 3:35:39 PM
I have never dated other women, so I have no idea what they do. I have never cheated. My question is, why do men OR women drop you like a hot potato with no explanation after professing attraction, affection, similar inetersts, good sex, etc?
 spiderette
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 147
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:37:21 PM
they don't if they weren't all that into you, it's easy (never any deep feelings to begin with). if they were really into you, they just hide it.

in the case of not interested or not interested enough: when people APPEAR to abruptly lose interest, it's rarely really as abrupt as you think. it seems abrupt to you because you didn't know what the other person has been privately thinking for months.

in the case of very interested: they won't leave. if they do, it's because YOU dumped them. in that case, many men will hide their feelings, but those feelings are definitely there.
 yuyu777
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 148
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:49:12 PM
hey, bcos

1 too many women in this world, you are not the only one
2 you are not the only special one
3 you are not the only special one for them

what you can do:
1 find a more stable guy
2 improve yourself
 viper11025
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 150
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:40:58 PM
Hummm, I still feel the pain from my last attempt at happiness.
XD
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 157
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 7/15/2008 10:15:44 PM
No, I don't think anyone can completely lose feelings that quickly. If someone is telling you they care about you or love you one day and the next day you have an argument and break up....to me that says they were not being truthful the day they told you they loved you. Sometimes men will starts arguments to break up with you. So, this might have been what has happened here. But, break ups are never really easy. It might appear that they are able to forget you and move on easily and quickly. But, usually before an actual break up the person has been thinking about it for awhile. I think there are usually a series of things that add up and the other person just does not want to be in the relationship anymore. So, although it might be news to you on the the day of the break up, it has been thought about for quite a while. Then after the break up the person is usually relieved they got it over with and can now start to move on again by immediately dating and going on with their lives. But, it looks to the other person like this all happened with in days or your case a day.

Sorry this happened to you.


Totally agree! Some also try to avoid or ignore a situation until they can finally do so no longer then simply make a decision and move on....honesty and communication are often lacking so although to you it seems sudden it has been in motion for awhile....also if feelings can be changed that quickly then they may not have the depth that truly made them real.
 latefifties
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 158
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:49:44 AM
We have feelings, the trouble is, we have all the wrong feelings.
We have lust, more lust, and where's my dinner feelings.

Love is something we possess the ability to give, or fleetingly feel, but most of us have no control over the effect you girls have on us, visually that is. You have no idea how totally distracting you are to us, totally.

When we look at you with love, that ever present lust is awoken, and whilst we'll tell you we love you so convincingly at moments like those, you'll soon realise, you've been the victim of the best salesman on earth, "an aroused male".

The reason we're so convincing at those times, is we actually mean what we say when we're aroused, we really do, but as soon as we've been satisfied, it's back to those "where's my dinner feelings".

What does that say about us? Selfish maybe, yes, there's a bit of that there, but I'd say, lacking in evolution and adaption to today's women, which of course, may also have always been the case, I can only speak as a current male, and I don't mean all dried up and wrinkly like a currant, I mean as a fully functioning male in this moment.

We're all still, basically primal. We don't want to be the way we are, but then, we do.

We're born basic and primal, and for whatever reason, we don't seem to progress a great deal from that in our lives.

It's all your fault girls, you're just to damn lovely, too damn sexy, and too damned confusing for this celibate monk, and I suggest, all other males to an extent, lol.

Oh and with regard to shutting off our feelings, we don't actually, but once again, maybe it's just our way of protecting you from our feelings.

I mean, instead of crying, we have a terrible way of letting out our emotions, and I suppose it's best if we take our anger and frustrations to a safe place to deal with them, rather than dumping them on natures most beautiful creation.

The problem is, we very quickly adapt to any situation, and very soon, we find a new direction, and yet another lovely female is left feeling sad.

My advice is to keep away from us, we're hopeless, we don't have a clue what we're doing, what we want, or what's expected of us.
 Swann85
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 159
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 2:58:39 PM
there is a very simple explination.

ever heard the term 'walk it off"?

that right there is the reason most of us just bounce back, we do as we have been told
from day one, just walk it off.
 attachnostrings
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 160
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:41:15 PM
I have not found some woman to be any different. I was engaged to be married. We were together for over 3 years. My girlfriend had a little girl that I helped raise since the day she was born. Last November, the day after Thanksgiving, on friday she made love to me. Two day's later, on Sunday she breaks up with me for what she said was no reason. I found out a week laster that she was screwing her boss. We lived together for about a month after that, sorta that is. I never saw her, but I took care of her daughter for her. We moved out from each other, and i raised the little girl by myself for 6 months. I raise her like she was my own. I never see the little girl anymore, and she still does not live with her mother. She lives with my ex-wife. I call that stopping your feeling quickly.
 attachnostrings
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 162
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:49:30 PM
P.S. If you didn't figure it out. The little girl in the picture with me, is the one I am talking about. She say's she is Daddy's little short stuff. I really miss her.
 taylor1965
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 166
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/8/2008 1:56:21 PM
It isnt easy for men at all and if they find it so easy to walk away then they have been insincere with their feelings in the first instance!
 Browneyes059
Joined: 10/31/2003
Msg: 167
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/8/2008 2:19:51 PM
I can't imagine losing all feelings even after an argument. Either he lied in the first place or is lying about not loving you.
If I truly care for someone I never totally get over them. Depending on the situation you may have to accept that you may never see them anymore but they are still in your heart.
Men are supposed to not show much emotion, but what he said sounds more like he is trying to hurt you by telling you that.
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