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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 166
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?Page 5 of 34    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34)
It isnt easy for men at all and if they find it so easy to walk away then they have been insincere with their feelings in the first instance!
Joined: 10/31/2003
Msg: 167
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/8/2008 2:19:51 PM
I can't imagine losing all feelings even after an argument. Either he lied in the first place or is lying about not loving you.
If I truly care for someone I never totally get over them. Depending on the situation you may have to accept that you may never see them anymore but they are still in your heart.
Men are supposed to not show much emotion, but what he said sounds more like he is trying to hurt you by telling you that.
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 169
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/8/2008 8:31:19 PM
Well, I'm not one of those young men/men that would tell his girlfriend one day that he loves her and then the next day he just dumps her or makes her feel horrible. To me that is the most horrible thing to do to a women of any age. I would at least tell her about my feelings and we can discuss them. but I do agree with what people say, that women mature faster than men, and have a lot more intelligence then men as well.....still I think it is wrong to hurt your girlfriends feelings and for him just to go get another girlfriend. well at least thats what i think
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 171
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:07:19 AM
Is there a site somewhere to post the names of men who continually pull this kind of thing on women? or to ask if anyone has had a bad experience with a certain person? If not on this site, do you know of any site like that? Single women cannot always afford to pay to have background checks.
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 174
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/22/2008 1:11:18 PM
I dont understand men anymore then anyone else. I used to blame myself for them leaving or for them not talking about their feelings. I used to think that it always had something to do with me even if they told me it didnt. I dont know what to believe but how can someone just leave you and not give or know the reasons why? That is the problem I keep coming across. They tell you they like you and that there isnt anything you have done or could have done to prevent the breakup but yet they dont have an answer on why they felt the way they did or what made them leave. I think they know they just dont want to cope to it or admit it. I wish men could just give a straight answer and just be honest about the reasonings. I still have a problem with blaming myself because things are good one day and shit the next for no reason at all. Something had to have lead up to it. I would like input on this from a man's point of view but other women who feel the same way or have gone threw this too are more then welcome to help me figure out what wamo means lol. Things are good and then wamo! Thanks
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 177
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:45:41 PM
If the man really liked the woman, he can't turn his feelings off easily. If he didn't really like her, sure he can and very easily.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 178
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:38:03 PM
the writer that said men are better at compartamentalizing is probably correct.

Swift break ups may cause sharp pain but they also allow you to move on sooner. If the men linger and explain, it wont help the pain. just draws it out.

YOU can do better. Read and Read everything you can about relationships. knowledge is power. even in the dating arena.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 179
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 8/27/2008 6:36:11 PM
at 37 y/o most people might not be able to move on quickly or compartamentalize, but others can . Us ole' folks know time is flying by and we know its important to move or and save time.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 181
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:05:09 AM
Men Bashing Penalty! 20 yards.

Sorry honey - but women do this too.

I'm VERY bad about it.

When I am done.
I am DONE.
No if's, no ands, no buts.

We're not gonna talk it over.
We're not gonna take a break and think about stuff.
If I get pushed to the point where I am done - then it's over.

I can't say why that happens.
But, I can say I am very tolerent and it rarely happens and it takes a HUGE amount to push me there.

But once it happens - I'm gone.
And worse? That's in ALL relationships. With friends, platonic, girlfriends, etc.,
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 182
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:09:12 AM
Men stop having feelings? How about women? I've seen it first hand happen to me. After the heartache, I'm left amazed on how some women can "switch gears" so easily.
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 183
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:36:42 AM
I have just broken up with a woman PR who had little or no feelings whatsoever. She seemingly was only nice when she wanted something but as soon as the going got rough she ran. I was to have a 'real' heart attack (for those skeptics) a few weeks later and a scare a week after that and she was by my bedside in a flash on each occasion.

As soon as I was out of hospital each time she completely blanked me and deliberately and knowingly upset me........ it does take all sorts so take heart.

Her favorite saying turned out to be, "It was not meant to last forever". I said a friendship could have done but that was never in her itinerary at all.

To those out there who have gone through upsetting times, there are others who have had much worse time and those that have had a very civil end to a relationship.

Is it because they are expected to say those magic words to their partner so as to make them feel happy!

Sorry ranted on but I was bought up to be honest and think of others but must admit I now fight back as a human and will not accept bad manners and think it it wrong to hurt others knowingly when you are aware of their true feelings.
Joined: 10/24/2007
Msg: 184
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/17/2008 5:08:02 PM
So then you have dated all men,please dont put us all in that section,as i have seen women do the same thing.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 186
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/17/2008 11:11:07 PM
Hello Op, my advice is not even to hope that he's miserable. I have found that to move on, you have to wish them well and the pain will go away slowly.
Always keep busy with new activities, too.

As for your question, we men do grieve, but differently.

My previous relationship some years ago, I was able to walk away without shedding a tear. I guess that's how you know the guy did not feel the same way as you did.
But once we genuinely love, we grieve too, just in different ways.

In my most recent relationship, my grief came in one big, massive blow. It just overtook me in the bathroom the day after the breakup.
It was a drop to your knees and weep in agony kind of sorrow. I have never encountered emotions that intense. After that torrent of emotion, I attempted to resuscitate the relationship. That's when I grieved again. After that, I finally acknowledged that it was truly over and I moved on.

Been fishing here ever since.

Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 188
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:56:09 AM
hahha. thats so true on some levels. but also a stereotype. but kinda true.
I find rrelationships ive had, looking back, ya guys like girls to do what they want, on time, and they feel happy about it. for sure. but like thats not what the loves based off of. and not all guys say "i love you" to get laid. the ones that do are ***holes ! and the girls they are usually trying to fool are idiots for beleiving it. you cant "love someone" first week - then once you hear it from the guy, throw yourself at him. thats a bad scenario for both sexes.

the last part just to be comical,it should say "they are out on the water fishing" hahaha. :) like get angry... storm off... go fishing... ;)

the only thing i disagree with is the sex part - most guys (decent guys), arent like that. only stupid ones who do it on purpose. or inadequate guys that only know that as their tactics. , and guys that dont have real feelings. I persoanlly have to have feelings for a girl to even sleep with her (wayyyyy before saying i love you) . but thats just me. and once im "in love" in a longterm with someone... i say randomly. not ALL the time...but in all different scenarios. like maybe out of the blue. maybe cuddling. maybe out doing something together. maybe during sex. maybe for no reason. maybe for something simple (like when they "do what they want, on time, and love them") hahaha :P i dunno. theres no rrules to love . just find the RIGHT GUY!! :)
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 193
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:28:40 PM
Believe me we hurt, but we try to keep it on the inside.
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 197
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 9/30/2008 4:38:43 PM
Oh my god. Oh my GOD sweetbordercop. I'm seriously wondering the same thing. I was dating a really amazing guy, we had so much fun together and got along SO well. Things were going incredibly well. A few weeks ago we went to Niagara Falls for a romantic weekend away. Just this past week he started telling me that he didn't think our relationship would would out. On Sunday we broke up. I am so confused. I thought our relationship was going very well. The only problem was the distance. We lived an hour or so away from each other.

I honestly don't understand....I don't. When I changed my facebook relationship status, I had so many comments from my friends. Asking what happened because we seemed so happy together :(
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 199
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:15:41 PM
Ummm..I haven't read alllll 25 pages of this thread, but men DO NOT have a moritorium on this. I think that women do the same thing...they just do it in different ways...I can say this from experience!! One day you hear all the wonderful things they think and feel and a few days later, they are so scared of what the feel for you, they go back into their protective bubble or shell to make sure they remain safe from ever getting hurt again. Men tend to not show the pain or the fear they have, so it comes across as anger or not having any feelings at all and they tend to move on rather quickly to mask that pain. Many of the men here have said the same things about not showing emotions, but I suspect most of the "older" guys have changed their perspectives as they have experienced the hurts this way. It doesn't make it right to handle it this way, but unfortunately that is the roller coaster we have all experienced.
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 202
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 11/22/2008 2:11:14 AM
Men? ULP......... because they're all shallow (apparently). I think you should have a pet. That way you would have unconditional love all the time.
 A Teddy Bears Arms
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 203
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 11/22/2008 11:52:09 PM
Ahh do not be so quick to point the finger.....there are two sides to every fence.

Women are not innocent of this character flaw!!!

All you need do is tell majority of women what she wants to hear...and after a some conversation and concentrated listening, a player has all the ammunition they need to talk a women into anything....including her life for a one-niter.

STOP BEING THE accountable for your decisions

My advice to all women finding they have this trouble is.....Take some time to get to know the person........ not weeks.....more like months, ask well thought out questions and pay attention to the answers, watch the situations you encounter with them....actions, habits, body language, the way they present themselves. Watch who the know (friends, acquaintances) ask more questions to find out who they really are.

STOP BEING THE accountable for your decisions

With the way relationships run today, its like fries at McDonalds, nothing but a constant turnover, I mean really why bother with all the heartaches and wasted time.

Ponder this: Think how long time will be sitting in the rocking chair of age facing only regrets!!!

I am still going to keep fishing for my soul mate but I will pay attention and be accountable for my decisions on the path to finding her.

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 207
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 12/16/2008 7:05:01 AM

Men don't show hurt because it would also show vunerability, and that is a taboo in the male realm.

I won't show emotion either publicly, especially vulnerablility. That's not a male thing, that's a personality thing.
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 208
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 12/18/2008 6:14:29 PM
hey my name is ben and i have had some experience wit relationships..

some guys do show their emotions " I for one do " cos the only way to get to know the real person u have fallen for is to understand their feelings and atleast try to understand. If you are unable to understand their feeling you should still be able to love and be loved for who the person is.. some guys dont show them cos they think it makes them weak and vulnerable.. and some think it gives them bad image showing emotions. and from my experience they lose all feelings cos they choose to to hide from it all.. if all guys knew that if they show their emotions life would be alot easier. and u would really find the one u love. well thats all from me. if anyone disagrees thats their opinion and u are entitled to it. catch ya's
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 211
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 1/5/2009 12:54:37 PM
How can women? I have thought that I found the ideal match a couple of times here to be left out in the cold-maybe it was too soon, maybe something else, but the pain stays the same and hurt is, I keep Ramblin' On!!
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 212
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How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 1/5/2009 11:06:18 PM
sounds like you still like men. i dont know ware to start. i think you have to go by a set of rules, basically everyone has to go by that set of rules. the best of us dont know the whole set yet. you have to dig deep, or far, or wide, ask, read. you will have to get painfully honest with yourself. [its called painfull because it hurts more than getting punched in the face], honest is the hardest part. you will want to quite [bad speller] but go on, the rewards are there!! once you accept yourself, it gets more than a little bit easyer. accepting yourself does not mean you approve of all of yourself. if your phsyque isnt kinda right [there are rights and wrongs] much of this wont make any sense, and you will get mad at the writer. no sex before marrage, going on a date is an interviue, you have to get to know each other to a big degree before doing it and or getting married. [you have to accept ALL of thier bad stuff,] again not approve , there is a difference. there is some reason that this exercise is easyer and actually even more fun to do before that intimate step. dont you think?????? i am flatered in advance by all of the readers that will think i came up with this. its a learn as you go thing, and it could still screw up, but whats wrong with trying to improve the odds? did i diggress from the topic.? what triggered this out burst? o yaa, its been 5 years since my only woman of about 35 years said i am outa here! i was devastated for the first 4 years, even though i started prossesing it right away. if you dont process it, it will go into hiding and rear its ugly head at all kinds of wierd times in your life. dont you think?????? denial is where you put it until you have the fortitude to deal with it. and lets rise above the animals. once again sorry for the bad riting!! i am all ready for my second broken heart! maybe i will be numb after that one . not if i process it, right? i wonder how many years that one will take. good luck searching for the truth, whaaa?
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 215
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 1/7/2009 7:10:16 PM
I don't know what ur talking about... it's been 6 months and I still cry out loud several times a week but it has more to do with no longer having my daughter in my life than her mother who canceled the wedding with 3 weeks left and moved out of state the following Friday...

the feelings are there... the question is allowing you continue to feel them too...
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 216
How can men stop having feelings so quickly?
Posted: 1/8/2009 9:59:16 AM

we men DON'T stop having the feelings quickly, we keep it inside and find other sometimes really bad outlets for our hurt.

This is SOOO true! My ex (who broke up with me) is now doing some really shady things because he's all about not actually giving in to his feelings--he's avoiding them by doing the risky stuff and relishing the risks. He's depressed, too. So now, even though he dumped me, *I* am the one trying to cajole HIM back to "normalcy".
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