|AddictionPage 3 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4)|
|good for you. that is awsome. and a wonderful poem|
Posted: 7/16/2005 8:41:27 AM
Posted: 8/12/2005 9:43:01 PM
|What am i here to be fixin|
cant find it here so im blitzen
the shit i now do doesnt fit in
blame in all on the addiction.
Posted: 11/16/2005 11:12:11 AM
|LONGBEACHMVP (MESSAGE24).. THAT poem was written by someone else. I read it on another site .. here; i'll copy and paste it: (oh and i can see that u changed it up just a little bit.. but its still the same one):|
The windows are covered,
I hear a knock at the door,
I just zipped the baggie,
“You can’t have anymore!”
I knew someone was watching,
Spying on me today,
They are always outside waiting,
Am I going to jail? No way!
Yesterday is my Today,
I been up for days and weeks,
Food is nothing special,
I can’t even eat.
I’ve lost 60 pounds or so,
It’s only been a month,
I needed to diet anyway,
I was looking like such a lump.
People at work don’t know I use,
Hell, it’s only enough to get by,
I sneak off in the bathroom,
Sometimes I even cry.
I used to have a nice home,
Now I live on the street,
I’m trying to get my car fixed,
I sold the engine for money last week.
The phone rings off the hook,
It’s that dealer guy again,
He’s got an ounce of goodies,
Damn, I want some, too.
I’d give anything to score a batch,
Then sell it to have my own,
I’d have drugs at my beck and call,
Yet, I have no freaking home?
What happen to my friends from school,
Did they give up on me so soon?
Oh I didn’t call them,
No wonder I’m alone in this room.
My husband left me long ago,
He took my kids away,
He said they don’t need a Mommy,
That get’s high everyday.
I don’t know why I do this,
It calls my name each day.
The Meth Monster loves me.
At least someone does I pray.
I’ve got scars and scabs on my body,
I pick at them all the time,
I sit upon the bathroom counter,
Eight hours- yes, while doing lines.
Picking and digging with needles,
I‘m completely in the zone,
It doesn’t matter where I am,
I can do drugs anywhere,
No one ever notices,
No one ever cares.
My family has given up,
I’ve given up myself,
The police would rather put me in jail,
Than give me such desperate help.
I called one day for a bed date,
Down at the counseling center,
As always the wait was six months away,
What do they think I am, a mentor?
How the hell can I wait that long,
I know that I will still be high,
Doing drugs -getting by,
This horror is my life.
Each day goes by and I have no idea,
If the next day will come,
I am simply not myself,
What have I become?
I used to care about my dreams,
I used to be able to love,
But nothing means more to me now,
Except my next baggie of drugs.
When I was living at home with my man,
We had both been high for a while,
He could quit,
Tried to help me,
But, couldn’t take the lifestyle.
I have become a worthless piece of crap,
I see in the mirror,
I am what I used to despise,
I have become so evil I fear.
Obsessive compulsion has embedded itself,
In the core of my gut it seems,
I constantly move,
I can’t stop talking,
Tomorrow, I’ll sell my wedding rings.
Paranoia and hallucinations,
They both live inside my head,
I take them to work,
They are my voice,
I see visions in my head.
Last week I got some cocaine,
It made up for the meth I couldn’t find,
If it’s not one drug it’s another,
I do that all the time.
I’m depressed at times,
I know I am,
I can’t afford a doctor,
But would I even go to them.
Hell no, Meth calls- Where’s my blotter?
My friend meth has many names,
But she is all one thing to me,
Meth is the destruction of my core,
This person I have come to be.
I can’t get away,
I’ve tried before,
They say I have to hit rock bottom,
But what the hell am I living in now?
A mansion? I think not..
This is rotten.
I do the lines,
They burn my nose,
The flesh get’s eaten away,
My teeth are rotting,
I can’t afford the dentist,
Again, Would I go anyway?
I remember once I had great goals,
Although what they were is a secret to me,
I’ve all but forgotten the life and mind I had,
It’s hell just being the “meth” me.
Some people would choose to say I have chosen this life,
But, I so badly beg to differ,
I may have done the first line of crap,
But, she’s had my ass ever sense in a quiver
I wish I was clean,
I wish I didn’t need her so bad,
I wish I could break free from the pattern,
God, I can’t even pray anymore,
It’s hard when nothing seems to matter.
Life is so disgusting at times,
So much pain and grief out there,
I guess living within myself,
It’s my way,
This is my prayer:
I pray to God I can break away,
From this life that has left me blind,
I wish I had my kids to hold,
To put them down at bedtime.
I wish I could make dinner again,
For the man that was in my world,
I wish the dog I once owned,
Was in my lap all curled.
I wish I had finished college,
I wish for all my dreams to have come true,
I wish that life wasn’t such a mess,
So this is what I will do:
I guess I’ll keep on waking everyday,
Being the me I have become,
Walking through this world alone,
There’s no one like me, or is there some?
I’ll keep sniffing lines,
Injecting those needles,
Buying my dope on the run,
Life as an addict isn’t that great,
No life, No home, No fun.
This isn’t what I wanted to become,
This isn’t the me I once was,
I barely remember that person,
She’s slipping away, almost gone.
I hope something happens soon,
That helps me get out of this life,
I’m slowly dying,
If not already,
I’m killing myself in my strife.
I don’t want to be an addict,
I don’t want to live in the gutters,
All I had wanted was to be a great person.
And great mother.
If all I have is the meth in my life,
That means I have no vision,
Everything will remain a blurry mess,
Getting clean will take some precision.
If I have nothing else,
I have a few memories, that I can take to the grave with me,
I wish I had never done this drug,
I hate it,
I hate life,
I hate me.
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Posted: 11/16/2005 11:23:51 AM
|wait.. THAT WASNT THE POEM (THE ONE I JUST POSTED..) BUT!!> That poem WAS copied from someone else.. i read it about a month or so ago and i thought i saved it but it turns out i didnt. so i guess without the poem to post i just look stupid.. but whatever. it is a great poem though.. and i know u didnt claim it as your own exactly.. i just want to make sure u arent taking credit for someone elses work is all. I know I put my everything into my work and id hate for someone else to do that to me anyways... and im not trying to be a B.&I.&T.&C.&H honestly. i just wanted to make that clear is all. anyhoo.. everyone have a good day|