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 LaDame9909
Joined: 10/10/2009
Msg: 151
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.Page 3 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
I like that list, skunk12pu n is something I have taught my boys. They will all give clues and cues about the woman along with ..time will reveal all... and is a method I use also, lol.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 155
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:59:08 AM

What I look for in a woman that I want to have a relationship with is simplistic with encompassing details that are still pretty basic,,,
Respect:
for others; meaning not looking down on others less fortunate or working in a service capacity
for herself; holds herself to certain standards that make her reliable, stable and humble
Tolerance:
for others; those who tend to trepass on others without regard
for herself; to have a limit where she will decide to put someone/something in their/its place
Consideration:
for others; how her actions will affect them
for us; how we will (she or I) be feeling down the road from an action today

So in other words, no sociopaths.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 157
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:25:14 PM

What I would be looking for is stability. How do people in our age range deal with the uncertainly of a break up? Would you want to be lets say for example 57, be in an LTR for 6 years and then at 63 have it end and do what, start over again? This is Ok when in your 20's and 30's but 50's and 60's? Do people in our age ranges actually enter into LTR and make successes of them? It almost seems to me that time has run out. I see the men and women pushing 60 that are now single after 30 years of marriage. If I knew we were all going to live to be 150 I would not be writing this. Sometimes this whole thing seem surreal.

I understand what you are saying here PP, but what happens if for example someone of 57 enters into a LTR and it lasts for 6 years and then at the 6th year mark their partner passes on? That constitutes stability but that stability is ended due to death. Excuse the pun, but that's life. In order to grow, one needs to risk and when one risks, one grows. If one is not open to the risk of being open to a relationship that willl not last, then one simply stagnates in their own fear. As we approach the latter segment of our life, there are no guarantees of what life will bring us or how long we will actually have life. Enjoy what you can, while you can because if there is no tomorrow, then you may have missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime.
 BunsofSteel
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 159
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:57:57 AM
Here we go: I want
Humor: she has to laugh at my stupid jokes and actually find them funny and in turn must be able to make me genuinely laugh.
Passion: passion about her convictions and mine; passion toward me and toward her where both of our hearts skip a beat just because we touched or talked or texted.
Intelligence: I want someone I can talk with ... not at.
Kindness: kind toward those less fortunate (not a bleeding heart though), kindess toward animals and kindness toward me when I've had a less than wonderful day.
Understanding: must be understanding of my flaws and accept and understand me wanting to be there on her less than wonderful days.
Sex: Pretty self-explanitory but would like her to be the instigator once in awhile, walking in naked with a glass of wine and a Viagra ... hell yeah!
Tolerance: must be tolerant of of life in general, of me and of herself.
Beauty(inside and out): must be attractive and attracted to me ( see "sex" above)
Adventurous: Must be willing to try new things, keep life exciting.

I'm sure I can think of more but these are the most important.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 162
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:38:10 PM
Ahh but Mister Pitt?
Who really knows? A man just may like the gentle voice of a mature woman reading Shakespeare at bedtime!

OT: I don't really spend much time thinking about what a man looks for after 45. Truly I don't. I am me, I am who I have been for the last 51 years. I am not going to change anytime soon! This man will either love me for me or not...pretty simple if you ask me?
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 164
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:42:30 PM
I want someone to yell coffee really loud every single morning.
That sings silly dirty ditty's........
They play one love song every Sunday over and over and over until we get out of bed.
They play with my hair until I fall asleep.
They call me for no reason.
They make me laugh until my ribs hurt.
They share secrets and keep mine.
They think I am perfect for them
They are perfect for me.......
They are honest with me to a fault....even when my butt looks big.
They write silly love poems.
They are proud of me and I of them.
Right now he is lost.......if you find him send him my way.......
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 165
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:47:54 PM
I look for a girl who wants a car with cup holder arm rests.
I look for a girl who gets up early.
I look for a girl who uses a machette to cut through red tape.
I look for a girl who knows what's best.
I look for a girl .................................................................................................................................................................................. with a short skirt and a long, long jacket.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 171
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:02:51 PM
Stop complaining, guys. All these women who are rejecting you are doing you a big favour. Just imagine the consequences if they actually accepted you. You could very well end up married to them or living with them. By rejecting you out of hand they are saving you a lot of grief, as well as a lot of money.

There are plenty of women out there who would be quite delighted to have you. Stick with them and don't waste time and energy complaining about the ones that aren't interested.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 172
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:04:31 PM

Would you want to be lets say for example 57, be in an LTR for 6 years and then at 63 have it end and do what, start over again?


I see you and I think alike here.. I know this will be it for me.. So if a man tells me that his 3 month relationships that he had were successful I start to get my sneakers on.

Yes I do know several people our ages that have had great success and years later still going strong. However they are not on this site..This is their last chapter and they both are well aware of it. They cherish one another know this is it.

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 173
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:07:41 PM
Goodness! Is life over at 63? What a bummer!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 174
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:07:57 PM

One of the many reasons I am single. I get a few emails and they do not have anything to say. Just quick one liners and almost impossible to make any conversation so what the hell is the point? They can just move on form one guy to the next so what the hey.


It sure beats the forwards? At least you get one line.. I think you really have to maintain a sense of humor to hang in there.. cause you never know when someone might just write an entire letter..

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 175
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:12:59 PM

Goodness! Is life over at 63? What a bummer!


Is it over at 63.. Gosh I hope the heck not.. but I highly doubt I will be dating by that age. But you never know I am kind of like molasses I move very slow.. We might well still be courting..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 177
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:05:57 PM
I look for passion.
 Drgnctchr1
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 186
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:26:07 PM
I'm going to go with the thoughts of Pirate and HI-Way......
A Bassboat along with peace and quiet.
 PacificStar
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 189
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:24:56 PM
While I find a detailed punch list of must haves too rigid I would hope people have some values and behavior standards in mind. To me it seems like they are contributeing to the process. I would hope they would take enough time and ask enough questions to draw a fair conclusion on how I really am. First impressions are important but assumptions made on a first date rarely are totally accurate .

I think how a person treats people is really important . Not all families are ideal but many people go on to be family centered and that would be important to me as long as our relationship was protected. I do believe how people treat the dependent or helpless says a lot about character. I do think someone that bullies others is a good bet for bullying you in a relationship. If you are a volunteer at heart, like I am , I would have to be with someone who would not have to own my every moment.

Same goes for how people treat animals. Lot of people claim to be in love with their pets and treat them terribly. An animal is not a child or an assessorie to dress up and neither is a spouse. Pets take a lot of care and someone who ignores their care tells me how they will take their vows.

I agree how a person sets up their home is important. If you put and avid collector with a person who is a minimalist it will drive both crazy. For example I really love my garden so someone who hates yard work and doesn't care if the weeds are taking over the place or finds spending money on those things wasteful would be frustrated with my priorities.

I think being comfortable with another person is important too. I don't think good relationships should feel like they are a great effort. If you can't naturally feel comfortable with someone even if they are nice it just won't work.

I also think there has to be some basic chemistry. That isn't totally about looks but if you don't feels some attraction wheater it is a smile or how they move or their overall look it is going to be very difficult to want to be intimate. Everyone has their own taste.

I also believe that love can occur at any age and is worth whatever time is allowed. Ageing is not for sissies but I would hate for people to have given up on me the first time someone told me my time was up. Keep the Faith fellow fishes.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 190
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:50:36 AM

Fifth, how she decorates her house or apartment says worlds about her.


So if that is your home you are in..should we run now?

Did Walmart have a sale on shelves with no back?

When you meet the one that makes your heart flip flop you won't care about her decorating.

What if her parents are dead and she is an only child? Not worthy???
LMAO

You will reject a woman because she paints Fluffys' toenails?
I call BS op
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 191
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:06:56 AM

Yep, it's over. I'll send you your official "it's over at 63" card when you get there. And you are probably right about not dating by that age. But, you can set on the porch in the rockin' chair next to me, as long as you rock with me, not ag'in me. Can't stand rockin' 'gin sumbuddy.


Hi there geezer,

Sounds like a plan.. Should I bring my chair cushion with me?

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 192
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:18:14 AM
Well, let's face it, all those things sound like fun right out of the box.

Of course, not nearly as much fun as eating popcorn in front of the TV with puppy dog slippers on while kissing your sweetheart on a cold winter's night.....
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 193
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:02:22 AM

Does a man over 45 actually want a relationship? Damned if I can find one...
ONS yes,
Casual fling yes,
FWB yes,
Intimate Encounter yes,
Relationship? Not so far...


Yeppers.

Although I've found a few who want a relationship. Unfortunately, the relationship they want is one via email only. I'd prefer to have the kind where it's actually possible to have some physical contact, if it's nothing more than just holding hands...
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 194
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:04:02 AM

Does a man over 45 actually want a relationship? Damned if I can find one...
ONS yes,
Casual fling yes,
FWB yes,
Intimate Encounter yes,
Relationship? Not so far...


You might have to check out another planet..

thecatsmeoww
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 196
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:43:42 AM
Women tend to not see men they have no interest in as if they were invisible. I guess that's why so many women are answering this thread bashing men. Women will only find out what the men she has not rejected want, not what all men want. If all the men a woman does not reject are abusive or only want FWB, a fling etc. and no real relationship, that is her choice in men. By choosing such men, they are rewarding the very behavior they complain about.

I know it's picky and perhaps hopeless but I look for a woman who's brain, not her chemistry, chooses her relationships. Chemistry comes from the sexual attraction to the most dominant genes and that tends to favor the bad boys and taller men. Studies of online dating say 80% of women will reject men of my height for no other reason. Of that remaining 20% who don't reject me with the old unread delete, I want intelligence, courage (yea, I still do a few scary things), and passion. I don't need pampering or a mommy. If chemistry is that important, I will loose to some tall lying player who has your formula. Women bare the children and thus care more for the nest than men, unless he's gay or a player, so I'll leave the home decor to her, even if the kayak has to leave the living room.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 197
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:51:19 AM

If all the men a woman does not reject are abusive or only want FWB, a fling etc. and no real relationship, that is her choice in men. By choosing such men, they are rewarding the very behavior they complain about.


A whole lot of women do not choose these men at all.. To the contrary the avoid them like the plague. (disease)

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 198
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:24:34 AM

That's just my point; I'm not choosing those men. My profile clearly states looking for Long Term. (Your height would not be a problem as I'm only average height myself.) I'm rejecting those that only want the casual stuff in favour of a proper relationship; dating, getting to know the person, in other words progression and not just jumping into bed with them.
My post wasn't meant to be bashing men in general, just the ones who don't want anything meaningful and they are legion!


Yes these type of men are very very easy to flesh out..

thecatsmeoww
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 199
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What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:59:57 PM
We ar not talking about guys who are honest about motives or concern themselves with the damage they leave behind. They appear to be exactly what you are looking for as they are very practiced at it. The guys you "see through" are those not practiced at such deception. Their approach is competing with a well polished approach and the honest one looses. In a simple demonstration, the player will profess to find something wonderful about you even though he doesn't know squat about you. Already, he has your interest and the guy who might like you, if he got to know you, is in second place.

Your own confidence that you can see through deception is working against you. The player quickly finds the tell-tale things you are looking for and plays them. He is practiced at finding such weak spots. Its a game to him. He knows what he wants and knows how to get it. This line in so many profiles is a dead giveaway for an easy mark. The other guy didn't get to meet you and you likely consider him a looser if you even remember him. Now the player appears to sacrifice something for you as he is so "enamored" with you. He seems to place his heart in you hands. You're done, time to serve up the turkey. At this point, you are the one under his control even though you think it's the other way around. His "mistakes" are ignored and he can do no wrong. The other guy is forgotten by now and is invisible. The player is already working another target but will put up with you as long as he gets something for the hassle. The honest guys have two choices. 1 Become a player but suffer the learning curve. 2. Stay honest and suffer the "unread delete".

The most successful player I ever met was an old college room mate. He played so many girls, he had to keep notes of the lies. I didn't believe him when he bragged he could get any woman but he proved it. They bought his meals, did his laundry and homework, and kept the room clean, at least his side of it. He did not bother with average or lower girls. The various posts in various threads saying men do this or that prove to me that the behavior of his type is alive and well even at our age. They have lots of practice by now.
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 201
What a man over 45 looks for in a relationship.
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:22:17 PM
I think a man looks for various things in a relationship;

A woman who doesn't mind cooking
A woman who does some housework
A woman who is great in the sack
A woman who holds down a decent job
A woman who respects his free time

and the wherewithall to keep these five women from finding out about each other.

Just paraphrasing an old groaner here.
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