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 smhrgs3000
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 26
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
It really just depends whay you're looking for. Also, while fantasies and kink are technically different, they usually overlap, and both are healthier when openly discussed with someone you love. If you truly want a lasting, healthy, satisfying relationship, and you feel that sex should be a part of that relationship, then absolutley, on both parts (man and woman).
And yes, women have just as many sexual fantasies as men, and quite possibly even more. But you also need to actually practice totally honest, open, constructive and NON-JUDGEMENTAL communication, so as to never hinder or deter your partner from offering or suggesting new things that he or she may be curious about, or even want to try. Even if it's not for you just now, a simple answer like "hmm, I'm interested and curious, but I don't think I'm quite ready yet. Let me mull it over some, ok, and maybe sometime soon ", will keep the imagination, and the sex life healthy & exciting.
If on the other hand, you prefer a sexless relationship, then I have a St. Bernard I'll rent you by the hour, cheap! Here Morty, got ya another live one buddy,...woof woof.
 thecheekychick
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 27
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:15:58 PM
being honest is best! if they are not into it, they are not for you ;)
 shadowknyght
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 28
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:26:13 PM
No, no, no, no, no!!!! Never!!! You should probably take your time and gauge the woman. Bring it up in casual conversation. Blame it on a buddy at first. Like so: Okay me and my boy Tom where chillin' out and we started talking about one of his old girlfriends. He was talking about how she used to.... And see how she takes it. Just make sure to keep your tone neutral so she can't tell if you're into it. Friends are always good scapegoats as long as they're not mutual friends.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 29
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:38:29 PM
Depends on the time, place and mood. It's not something you should just blurt out. Wait until you're both relaxed, touching each other and in a sexy mood. Then subtly, sexily hint at all the things you'd like to do.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 30
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:43:32 PM
I like a partner that can express their desires openly and freely without hesitation at any given moment that feels right! You never know what you will get unless you open up and express what is really inside!
 valleyguyaz
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 31
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/13/2010 5:56:57 AM
i think that it would be best if you are always honest and open with someone that you are in a relationship with.

these things need to be brought up as soon as possible in my opinion.
 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 32
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/13/2010 7:29:20 AM
OP: Absolutely you should be straight up about your kinks and such. Not everyone will be open to partaking in some or any.................may be a deal breaker.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 33
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:03:40 AM
If you are going to pursue a relationship with someone, it is important to be honest but, you are certainly under no obligation to share every intimate detail of your life and sexual piccadilloes with every person you go out with.

I have a gf that feels compelled to talk about her past sexual conquests and current sexual skills with every man she dates and it usually ends up being a big turn off for the guys and there is no second date. I have told her that while being upfront with a potential mate is important, using every date she goes on as a sexual confessional is not a good idea.

My advice would be wait until you know the person as least somewhat and they have gotten to know you somewhat outside the sexual realm before you start introducing elements of your sexuality that in the past may have been a deal breaker. In other words, don't let it get serious before you come clean about your submissive side but, don't talk about it over dessert on your first date either.
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 34
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/13/2010 9:37:25 AM
MY fantasies Is falling in love and get married.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 35
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/15/2010 11:08:38 AM
"should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?"

No, a gentleman should keep his sexual fantasies to himself, but a woman definitely should.

 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 36
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/17/2010 6:08:29 AM

No, a gentleman should keep his sexual fantasies to himself, but a woman definitely should


That probably is Operating Rule #1, but-

1. If a gentleman is to keep his lips sealed about his preferences, should a "lady" do likewise?
2. It's usually pleasant to deal with ladies, and gentlemen, but for the full throttle stuff, I prefer a woman, earthy woman, Erda, reborn/personified. "Lady", and "gentleman", strongly suggest etiquette, and while etiquette generally shows respect for others, it can and often does keep others at a distance. Except for rare occasions, I'm not looking to distance myself from a woman.
3. I like upfront (although I'm pretty much a backdoor man, lol). Cut to the chase, and solid progress is probable. I know, I know, you gotta be able to do the dance, and seduction, both ways, is usually fun, and a waltz is a beautiful thing to behold. But upfront and open is solid ground, and it's best to build on bedrock.
jmho
 AlbertaBeef
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 37
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/17/2010 1:06:36 PM
The correct answer is that men with fetishes should be public about them. Women should be as well. Whether people like to admit it or not, sexual compatibility IS a must for a good relationship. When I was single, I met several very nice women on POF. They had everything going on except they were "Ms Quaker" in the bedroom. I tried to imagine dating them and then asking them to paddle my ass or peg me during sex. It would have been immediate revulsion. Yet, if I was forced to have plain vanilla sex I'd be bored out of my mind and become disinterested.

This begs a deeper problem in society. The "fear" of being open with sex. It's like it's some mystery, a game of hide and seek. I believe it's why so many relationships fail. Sex is taboo when it should not be.

I love reading the "H**ker" threads on here. No man admits to using them, yet, being a person very close with the sex trade I know this is utter nonsense. The lies shall continue....
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 38
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/17/2010 5:26:29 PM
This reminds me of an experience I had many years ago in San Francisco. I was in a restaurant with a large gay clientele with my sister-in-law, who shared an apartment with a gay man. She was telling me about a system that had developed in gay bars that easily let people know what you were into and whether you were a "top" or a "bottom." It saved a lot of time & conversation. A red handkerchief would mean a particular thing and whether it was in your left or right pocket signified which role you preferred, blue meant something else, etc. She was going through the lists of colors and the activities to which they referred when she got to, " . . . and yellow is water sports." Never having heard the term before, I blurted out, loud enough for anyone withing a 10 foot radius to hear, "Water sports?! What's that?!" I felt slightly embarrassed when she explained it was people who are into pissing on each other.

Shoot, I'd lived with several gay men myself and never heard about it, but that was a long time ago and we're in the Midwest.

Just tell 'em up front. First your name, then your kink. Better yet, make a button and wear it on your lapel. It will keep away the uninterested and you might get attention from unexpected places.
 shanetheguy
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 39
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/23/2010 9:08:39 PM
I've got this deep-seated fetish I hope I can find some girl to fill for me.

It's kind of a wish-fulfillment thing. See, I come home. Maybe I was at work or working out or something. Anyway, I get home, and she's there. And she looks at me, and she -- get this -- smiles. She smiles, because she's -- can you handle this -- she's happy to see me.

God, isn't that hot? I've gotta stop thinking about it, gotta get to sleep soon.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 40
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 9/24/2010 2:55:42 PM
Well I'm glad I looked in on this thread....I feel much better now about my desire to have sex with a 1958 Impala convertible.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 41
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/1/2010 11:39:59 PM

I've got this deep-seated fetish I hope I can find some girl to fill for me.

It's kind of a wish-fulfillment thing. See, I come home. Maybe I was at work or working out or something. Anyway, I get home, and she's there. And she looks at me, and she -- get this -- smiles. She smiles, because she's -- can you handle this -- she's happy to see me.

God, isn't that hot? I've gotta stop thinking about it, gotta get to sleep soon.

I'm pretty liberal, but that's just sick, wrong, and perverted. ;-)
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 42
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/2/2010 5:24:13 AM
^^^^LMAO. Arwen, quintessential pof poster lady, stepping on any and every thing.
Yeah, I have a blonde lab that delivers Shanetheguy's kind of welcome to me, whether I've been gone for four days or four minutes, but, he's a boy, and a eunuch. 'Course, I haven't shared any of my fantasies with him. Never hooked up with another human who could quite match his welcomes, though.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 43
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/2/2010 9:54:11 AM
If the truth be told, I have a list of fantasies, but they would require going back in time twenty five years.

#1 I would like to do doggy style without having to see #3 tattooed on one cheek and a photo of Dale Earnhart on the other.

#2 I would like to fondle breast without that liquid sloshing sound or getting my tongue caught in a nipple ring.

#3 I would like to kiss a cootchie that didn't look like my old drill sergeants mouth turned sideways.....five o'clock shadow, red bumps and platnum crowns.

#4 I would love not having to run from a 10" strap on....or at least only sell them to heavy girls with short legs....and give me a head start.

#5 A woman who doesn't talk in her sleep....or at least has something to say besides "mandingo, mandingo.

I know.....maybe in another life...huh?
 fetishcdaz
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 44
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/11/2011 3:33:33 AM
they should be upfront and as honest as possible from the start.


 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 45
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/16/2011 1:09:25 PM
ya but dont let it be your first message but casually drag it in..if a guy has a thing for lets say example wanting to get s hit on or enjoying vomit ewww or having his head shoved into a toliet these are things id like to know up front so i can say NEXT!!!
 Angelicastar
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 46
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/17/2011 1:05:14 PM
women want a man in men clothes. I wouldnt be interested in going out with my man and he is dressed like me. This is just a case of sickness on your behalf. You should make a choice to wear the dress or wear the pants. You can do both but most likely you will be alone and lonely while doing them. Sad, Sick, weird, and dam right disgusting.
 Angelicastar
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 47
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/17/2011 1:08:37 PM
Mtn....I assume they call that car sex or tin can sex.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 48
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/17/2011 3:53:09 PM

women want a man in men clothes. I wouldnt be interested in going out with my man and he is dressed like me. This is just a case of sickness on your behalf. You should make a choice to wear the dress or wear the pants. You can do both but most likely you will be alone and lonely while doing them. Sad, Sick, weird, and dam right disgusting.

I'm really hoping the use of the and emoticons mean you have a sense of humor and aren't really meaning what you said. I'm secretly hoping you've got a fetish for your man to crossdress, otherwise you're being rude.

SOME women have no problem if their men like to dress in women's clothing. Hell.. I might pay money to see my guy in a pair of rhumba panties and thigh highs. He wouldn't make it out of the bed room, let alone the house if he did though.

I just took my temperature... nope, no fever, so no.. I'm not sick. YAY!! I was worried there for a minute.

Oh.. and on the "you will be alone and lonely while doing them" front.. one of my guy friends that likes to dress in women's clothing (I know probably a dozen of them) got married this year to a woman that loves and supports his desires to explore his sexuality in such a way.

"If you can't say somthing nice.. shhhh.. say nothing."
 Becoming_Me
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 49
should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/17/2011 7:50:54 PM
I think honesty should be present on both sides’ not just men. Maybe I’m wrong, but in America we seem to have a hard time talking about sex and what we really want. We seem to feel that our partner should just know. I’ve been guilty of this myself, more than once. However, though I’ve had mixed results being honest upfront I still think it’s the best way to go. I mean isn’t it better to know if what does it for you does it for the other person or if they are even willing to consider it, before you’ve invested yourself too deeply into the relationship?
 Angelicastar
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 50
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should men be upfront about their sexual fantasies/fetishes?
Posted: 10/17/2011 11:44:31 PM
Sweetie, I care less for you being in the real world and i also care less for being in yours. I think you would be just as sick as your man. Both of you idiots will be sitting around looking weird before sex. I love this icon Just remember, a mind is a terrible thing to waste....that is if you have one. Most likely it's the size of a piss ant and all you can do is run around dressed like an idiot before sex. My opinion, but to each his/her own. That's the reason we keep meeting people all screwed up.....plenty on the social websites. Waving from Texas
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