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 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 17
Broken Hearted...need advice, please?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I think you shouldn't do anything; I think deep down inside you dont want to lose contact because you still think there is a chance. I think you should move on and not do anything. He doesn't want to be together, he does care for you as a friend, but you need to move on.

You are only 21 and there will be other guys. Again, move on. Its so hard but its the best for you I think.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 18
Broken Hearted...need advice, please?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:32:50 PM

It is a proven fact that women need closure and men do not(Now don't get all crazy men--not bashing you) Statisically speaking women have a harder time letting go when there was no apparantl reason for the break up. I have been through it and even after 2 years it was still hard to deal with. All I did was waste 2 years for no good reason. SOmetimes there simply is not a reason. However--a man that leaves you for no reason and then comes back--wil only surely do it again. Trust me--this is true


First of all you are wrong. I wanted closure and I didnt' get any. A while back after years of a relationship she broke up over the phone and then when I wanted to see what the heck happened, she ignored me so I just had to let it go. Turns out she didn't want to be committed and wanted to party. Making any generalization about people in dating is ridiculous. I know many friends over the years that got no closure and had to move on with a hole in their heart.

She's only 21 and she's very much into this guy but its obvious he isn't into her. She is trying to keep contact with him for the chance to be with him. Friendship is just a smoke screen. She needs to move on.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 28
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Broken Hearted...need advice, please?
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:51:50 PM
how could I have let this classical story pass by this long...

Yep, everyone pretty much summed up, more or less, the basic facts. So, what do you think now?

In a few weeks (pick a number and stick to it). You can contact him, NOT TO BE FRIENDS, but more like, "Hey Joe, I hope you are doing well, my life is moving on without you believe it or not, and I am HOPING, you can please be blunt with me and tell me the real reasons you broke up" etc

You will need a pen and paper to prepare (ie, write down the "cliches" he told you already...so they don't get repeated...and write down what he says, so you don't forget it in two weeks). I tell everyone this, no matter how unique they think their case is.
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((( a proven fact that women need closure and men do not...a man that leaves you for no reason and then comes back--wil only surely do it again.)))

{{{{First of all you are wrong. I wanted closure and I didnt' get any. .. she broke up over the phone and then when I wanted to see what the heck happened, she ignored me so I just had to let it go. ....many friends over the years that got no closure and had to move on with a hole in their heart.}}}

I didn't get much "closure" recently, that's for sure.

In the future, for everyone, when you meet someone you might click with and before you start sleeping together. ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR PREVIOUS BREAK-UPS, hopefully that will be a clue when (hopefullynot) it happens again....and write it down in your private diary.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 30
Broken Hearted...need advice, please?
Posted: 5/29/2008 6:15:58 PM
First of all you are not looking for an answer, you still want him and its painfully obvious.

He does not need space; he doesn't want to be with you. end of story; no matter how sad you are, or how you try to spin things to make it look like he wants you, that is the sad truth.

Also you didnt' have a perfect relationship and then magically at the end it unraveled. Obviously he was not happy and wanted to move on. There is not crime in that. If he's not attracted to you anymore or if something else like that happened, he didnt' want to tell you straight up because he didn't want to hurt you.

Again, he just wanted to move on. He's probably in his 20's and you have this magical future planned out and he just wants to date and play the field. Most guys in their 20's do.

There is no advice to give; he's not coming back no matter how much you contact him; He wants to date other girls. He did nothing wrong.
 chrisibo
Joined: 12/9/2005
Msg: 33
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Broken Hearted...need advice, please?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:23:42 AM
hi there sweedegirl,xx ya from sweedon lol xx well by the look of ya profile babes ,,,, ya wont be on ya own for long i would have welcomed ya with open arms put it down to experience and when ya ready for a genuine romantic guy that will be there for ya give me a shout lol chris xx X MWAAAH X xx XXXXXX
 nybratde
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 34
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Broken Hearted...need advice, please?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:40:36 AM
Step away from that telephone young lassie. Forget him, I know easier said over actually being done.
Remember him calling you is the way for him to quell his demons (conscience) and will serve to do nothing more to you than give you that false hope.
Settle for no ones crumbs.
Delete every email, every photograph every everything whether from your memory or technology, otherwise each time you only force yourself to re-open the wound. Otherwise you are destined to live in the past, and might miss out the very next best day. Hearts heal, I know it doesn't seem like it, but they do, but broken dreams do not.
This is a bit harsh, I know I'm battling this demon right now, trust me on this one, he's not pining over your. It is your path for now, walk it the best way you can with your conscience clear.

Stay safe
Be well

ny
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