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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?      Home login  
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 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 381
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?Page 17 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

am I shallow for saying that I am uncomfortable with marrying a woman that much older than me?

Yes,but the real question you should be asking yourself is are you ok with being shallow about this?We are all a little shallow I guess so your no different.The other question you should be asking yourself is,is she still the same woman you fell in love with and does those eight years really matter?

What you do is up to you.I truly don't care either way.You asked so I answered.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 382
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/5/2010 10:36:43 AM
Glad you are happy and willing to overlook it...good for you.
But i would be concerned about someone lying about age......thats one lie i cant stand......its part of who you are...how long you have been around and how amny years iof life experience you have. being so insecure about her age that she has to lie about it would be a red flag. I have had men in their 40's claim to be in their 30's in the past (i run background checks on men that want to get serious).........it baffles me..i will poroudly claim my age at any age.
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 383
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/5/2010 1:18:41 PM
I would be extremely disappointed that someone perpetuated such a deception. A relationship with a foundation of lies cannot survive. I would wonder what other lies have been told or what may come in the future. Continuing in the relationship would be very difficult as it would be an indication of the lack of faith he put in our love to begin with.
 curmudgeon_ed
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 384
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/5/2010 3:15:17 PM
grr..why to people insist on asking a bunch of strangers in a forum for permission to do anything??

thats what posters of post like this are after...permission to make a dicision that would tend to make them look "shallow" in the words of the poster..or like an unrealistic a-hole for rejecting someone ..period..its not the age thats the issue, the poster is asking us for permission to ditch someone..who cares what the "reason" behind it is....

just freaking do it and get it over with..you have MY permission..now go away
 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 385
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History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/5/2010 5:07:05 PM
just recently I had a new contact slip in some numbers and realized that they had lied about their age. It was like "by the way how old were you when you had your first child?"
They had shaved like 5 or so years off their profile...Why do people feel the need to do this? Like they even said when they realized I had caught them "A lie is not a good way to start a good relationship is it"
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 386
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:31:22 PM
Some of the responses are hilarious, age is just a number?? are you kidding me with that? look the lady LIED about her age, relationship based on dishonesty is doomed to fail, better to find out now vs the night of the wedding

Dave the best thing you can do is kick her to the curb and find someone else that actually wont lie about her age.
 clockwork lime
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 387
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/6/2010 8:58:36 AM

I met someone, fell in love, and proposed marriage to her. She accepted, and then after six months of engagement tells me she is actually 8yrs older than me. I am 53 she is now 61(she had told me she was 53).

The initial lie was bad enough. To accept a marriage proposal without coming clean at the time was worse. To allow you to live with this misconception during 6 months of engagement is the worst of all.

How many other prevarications must she had to have pulled off to cover up the initial first lie?


am I shallow for saying that I am uncomfortable with marrying a woman that much older than me?

Not in the least.
 DemonLeather
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 388
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/6/2010 10:09:55 AM
Geeze,.. look, I tell everyone here,. I lied about my age,..if you don't like it,. sue me, and quit frikkin talkin' to me..Now,. if it's THAT much of an issue for you,..Fine,. go away, & let her find someone who likes her for her,. women have been lying about their ages FOR-EVER! umm GET OVER it,. My Mom (who was actually my Grandmother... Mom ditched me when I was a month old),. God rest her soul was 39 till she died @ 67 .. So..I say again.. get frikkin' over it.. if you're that shallow that a few years is a deal breaker,. I believe the other person is better off if you DO leave.
And No,. it's none of your business just how much I lied about MY age either,.. now,. if I was Dating someone and it got serious I'd have to come clean.. till then.. it's NOBODY's business.. My photos are current,. what you see is what you get,. no promises oon anything, and I have no idea where My "expires by XX/XX/XXXX Date is located at,. so,. I guess I'm still pretty fresh,.Now,. leave me be,.. I'm outta here.. >grabs onto wheeled walker & moseys out the door<........
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 389
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/6/2010 12:28:00 PM
If I find her appealing enough to bed her, then age of no issue.

HOWEVER, **LYING** is a SEVERE issue. That would back me into a corner regarding TRUST. If she lied to me about one thing, it would convince me that she would lie about ANYTHING.

AGE is of NO concern. DECEPTION, however, presents itself as the most DESTRUCTIVE influence in ANY relationship.

My relationships have TWO rules.

Rule 1: Deceive me and you lose ALL, **REGARDLESS** of the circumstances.

Rule 2: Tell me the truth, and you have a 50/50 chance of maintaining the relationship, PROVIDED that you dance by MY rules.

Few men will provide women will "manifestos" filled with their personal desires. I DEFY that convention. MY woman will be the ESSENCE of my desires, REGARDLESS of her physical appearance. She WILL obey my every command WITHOUT hesitation. She WILL be my willing slave.

Note that through this presentation I force NO ONE to comply with my wishes. I have simply expressed my desires. NOTE, however, that my demands regarding some future relationship ARE BINDING. If you want me, you WILL accept my demands. If you choose another, please accept my blessing. I have NO desire for one who truly has no desire for me.
 iamthstuff
Joined: 10/13/2004
Msg: 390
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/6/2010 12:47:18 PM
Well, at your age 8 years does not seem that big, but if you wanted to retire at the same time, etc, I could kind of understand.

The lying part is a big deal though. I mean if she lied initially, but fessed up sooner, rather than later, it is forgivable, but to wait until a proposal seems a bit much.

musingsandvisuals blogspot com
 DeliveryRN
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 391
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/6/2010 11:34:15 PM
The age reduction thing that goes on around here has been the most stunning event I have encountered. I was out of the game for 30 years so, just when did men start altering their age?
The first thing that comes to mind when I entertain the thought is "how would I explain my children?". I would rather someone think I was too old for them, before pretending I gave birth to my children when I was age 12 and 14.
Some people can get over it, some just lose respect and move on.
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 392
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/7/2010 9:26:28 AM
there are many reasons for being untruthful.other than just malicious deception ..we lie to ourselves as often as we lie to others ..I do however think it a deal breaker if she lied about being a woman .other than that I row with the flow
 tchofclas
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 393
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/11/2010 7:55:43 PM
One of my best friend's aunt was 15 years older than her husband, and NO one knew until after she died. They were married for more than 40 years, and I believe she survived her husband. So was she a habitual liar? No! Seems to me it shows that a lot of things people have roared from their soap boxes are just that, hot air. Seems a lot of people have trust issues when they do searches on people they are involved with, too. Maybe they should be dropped like a hot potato too, when found out? And my "Auntie", not a real aunt, but a title I was allowed to use as a child, went to her grave with no one knowing her true age. And I don't mean she lied, just never divulged it. Personally, I agree once you are past the age of having children, age really is just a number. Where all the paperwork in the world to just disappear, after a few years, how old would everyone be? And how much would it matter?
 tchofclas
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 394
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wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 12/11/2010 10:20:33 PM
I also meant to mention, my father was 16 years older than my mum. When he got diabetes 2 years after insulin was discovered, the doctors told my grandmother he wouldn't live to be an old man. My mother had her first coronary at 50, and died at 68. My dad was doing most f the housework, and cooking. He died 4 months before his 83rd birthday, and had my mum been alive, he'd probably lived longer. he lost all interest in life after she was gone. So just someone is older, even a significant amount, is no guarantee they will need a caregiver, or die first!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 395
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 1/19/2011 3:15:18 PM

I'm a little perturbed that people are adamant that if someone lies about their age they must be a pathological liar in all other areas of their life.
oh please of course she's a liar and logic would dictate if she lied about one little thing as age what else is she lying about? its just stand to reason ? no.

If I slam my penis in a phone booth, wouldn't you think I was weird? and then ponder what other weird thing will this guy do or has done? making me one weird guy? yes.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 396
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 1/19/2011 3:24:25 PM
^^^^^Not too many people go around slamming their penises in a phone booth ( I presume you mean the door ;)) so that would indeed be weird. I think we would all say, yeah, that's one weird guy!

Now, many people do lie about their age- I'm not saying that's OK, but it doesn't really follow that they must be a pathological liar. It would bother me though, in a dating context, because I do think age is relevant. Now if some stranger asked me my age, I might not reply.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 397
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 1/20/2011 4:25:31 AM
I'm a little perturbed that people are adamant that if someone lies about their age they must be a pathological liar in all other areas of their life.

I think as others have said, you have to judge how someone is. Do they come across as always being a bit liberal with the truth, or do they seem honest and dignified?


Okay, "pathological liar" might be a bit of an overstatement. Let's just call it "dumb" and "superficial".

If I wanted somebody who was "liberal with the truth", I'd date a politician. I don't think so. "Honest and dignified", but they lie about "little things" like their age? Oh come on. You mean like a car salesman?

There is one really cool way to lie about your age though, and that is to be so outrageous that it becomes a joke. That would require either completely refusing to state what your age is, or to exaggerate it to the point of ridiculous. If you can carry lying about your age off like Phyllis Diller or Zsa Zsa Gabor did, then people won't peg you as a dumbass just for lying about your age.
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 398
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:14:29 PM
I had a meet and greet the other night and this gal lied about her age. Never did tell me her actual age. She looked nice enough but I could tell she was creeping up a bit. She said on her profile she was 57 and then went on to tell me everyone lies about their age. Not me... what's the point?
 holaPOFxo
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 399
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:55:43 PM
She lied and that is NOT OK.
Once a cheater, always a cheater and once a lier always a lier.
I just have no respect for dishonesty.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 400
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:03:14 PM
Age different is not an issue for me but the honesty. What else that she will lie to gain her own benefit. A red flag for me. If you can overcome the issue either she is older or she is not being honesty, no one can make decision for you. Just remember that you have to be comfortable with your own decision.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 401
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:09:49 PM
Thats not really much of an age difference. But its the fact she lied to you about it.
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 402
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/8/2013 4:12:08 AM
If you are in love what does it matter. Okay she has confessed to you about her age, there is so much prejudice against ageing women that I dont really blame her. Has she changed because she told you the truth? Love is about acceptance and tolerance. Why you want to marry at your age, is beyond me, anyway.
 JGirlSD
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 403
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/8/2013 6:31:20 AM

Geeze,.. look, I tell everyone here,. I lied about my age,..if you don't like it,. sue me, and quit frikkin talkin' to me..Now,. if it's THAT much of an issue for you,..Fine,. go away, & let her find someone who likes her for her,. women have been lying about their ages FOR-EVER! umm GET OVER it,. My Mom (who was actually my Grandmother... Mom ditched me when I was a month old),. God rest her soul was 39 till she died @ 67 .. So..I say again.. get frikkin' over it.. if you're that shallow that a few years is a deal breaker,. I believe the other person is better off if you DO leave.
And No,. it's none of your business just how much I lied about MY age either,.. now,. if I was Dating someone and it got serious I'd have to come clean.. till then.. it's NOBODY's business.. My photos are current,. what you see is what you get,. no promises oon anything, and I have no idea where My "expires by XX/XX/XXXX Date is located at,. so,. I guess I'm still pretty fresh,.Now,. leave me be,.. I'm outta here.. >grabs onto wheeled walker & moseys out the door<........


YEP. So true .. the sad part of this whole debate is that a woman feels the need to lie at all! If our society accepted aging women the way they do aging men, there would be no need for anyone to shave a few years off of their age. If these same men met a woman in real life where age isn't announced .. they wouldn't care. Yet on line, they limit their search for women 'under a certain age'.

To get rid of this problem, society needs to rid itself of the stigma of aging.

LOL..yep. My Mom just turned 84..but don't tell anyone, to the world she's 39. HAHA...
 All2rosie
Joined: 2/3/2013
Msg: 404
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:26:34 AM
For some of us age is really important. Why? I have no idea - it just is.

You have already made the age thing an issue....maybe she lied because she liked you and in the beginning you madae it clear that you were age specific. What else concerns you? Is this going to be the straw that breaks the camels back?

In my humble opinion I find that a woman over 45 often matches better with a younger man. When I was younger I could not tolerate guys my own age - I always seemed to date up (at least a few yrs). Now at over 50 it is a challenge finding a guy in this age group that:
-Doesnot want just eye candy
-Who can keep up (I'm not dead yet!)
- Only want you for sex and maid skills (yawning - ho hum)

I admit to having that age issue thing -BUT I'll be damn if I'm going to let the potential of a great relationship go because of age (older or younger).

Sounds like you want it to be a deal breaker - - - I hope you can get past it if it is the only issue you have with her (I'm not saying she is right or that you are wrong). I'm saying you seem to love each other and this is an issue you both will have to work through.
 Treasured_Smiles
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 405
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:45:49 AM
The only time I'd really tolerate lies is prior to meeting from online, once we meet face to face any lies I figure out I'd have a problem. My perspective is if the person is lying about one thing, what else are they lying to me about? If I was the OP I would consider if the age bothered me, if not I would focus on the lying as a red flag. Certainly much communication is needed.
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