Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 151
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?Page 7 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
The Op has to think about the future as he has questions if she wont lie again to benafit her self, if he feels he cant belive her than its not worth trying to make the realtionship work all it will do is build antomostiy and its all down hill from thier. Trust is one of the main things in making any realtionship work and he lost his trust how is he to belive what ever she says.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 152
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 6:34:21 PM

My husband passed at the age of 60 I was 58.

Mine was 49, I was 47. We actually discussed plans for the next day on Jan 22. At about 4AM Jan.23, I was calling 911.

I hate to see you abandon what you've developed with this lady over the date on her birth certificate. Because as I understand it, THAT is your issue, NOT the falsehood of her being 8 yrs younger than she actually is. Many posters have sorta MENTIONED that( ) (ya THINK??) so OK we GET that, but apparently the falsehood isn't what's got your shorts in a knot...it's the fact that she's 8 yrs older than you. If she looks and acts younger than her actual age, I don't see what the problem is, unless you are looking to have more children?? I didn't think so.

Yes it could hit a point were suddenly she ages faster. And you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.
I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do,but this much I do know; it's damn hard to find a loving relationship that wants to be serious when you get up to AARP age.
I'd hate to see you toss this lady aside and then spend the next 5 yrs dating around and not finding anyone that really walks in your soul.
But it is your life...if her age creeps you out so much that you can't remember how much you LOVED her 2 minutes before she said "I'm really 61", then I guess you'd better move on. You have to live with yourself and your decisions...I DON'T.
Cindy O
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 153
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:12:14 PM
Dave: My mother-in-law was 6 years older than my father-in-law (I caught them uhm "going at it" on the living room couch.. at the ripe old age of 80 (her) and 74 (him) *acknowledges everyone trying to get that visual out of their heads*.
She died at 90.. exactly two weeks after him. They reached their goals and beyond. Take it One Day At a Time.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 154
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 7:25:25 PM
OP....

I believe in all cards being on the table. The age I have posted is not my actual age, but I have a notation to ask me about it if you talk to me.

In your case, to know she was deceiving you for so long was wrong.... but.... if you were truly in love with her, you might be upset about the deception, but you would continue to love her because real and true love doesn't just go away because one person is that much older than the other person. Have you asked her why she lied? Maybe she was afraid of losing you? Has she lied to you about other things?

Lying is an issue, but it's something you can work on. Relationships are like that... always working to make it stronger/better.

Bottom line is, you're the only one who can make the decision whether you love her enough to work though it, or not.

Sharzi
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 155
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:18:11 PM

in your case, to know she was deceiving you for so long was wrong.... but.... if you were truly in love with her, you might be upset about the deception, but you would continue to love her because real and true love doesn't just go away because one person is that much older than the other person.


What a self-serving load of b.s. You would think true love doesn't go away just because you're older, given that you're looking for guys substantially younger than your stated age of 50, which you're also lying about.
Seems like you have a problem finding 'real and true love' with guys your own age (whatever that might be), but I guess that's a different story.


Lotta folks in their second childhoods here on PoF.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 156
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:37:42 PM
^^^ Okay, Lets do this differently.
You meet a girl. You're both the same age. You fall in love. You get married. Two years later you both find out that the government made a mistake on her birth registration and she is actually 5 years older than what you both thought. Her mother and father were killed in a car crash when she was a baby, and none of her remaining relatives had clued-in to the error.

Do you suddenly stop loving her because she's 5 years older than you both thought???
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 157
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/14/2008 10:49:20 PM
: ^^^ Okay, Lets do this differently.
You meet a girl. You're both the same age. You fall in love. You get married. Two years later you both find out that the government made a mistake on her birth registration and she is actually 5 years older than what you both thought. Her mother and father were killed in a car crash when she was a baby, and none of her remaining relatives had clued-in to the error.



She didnt lie for her gain like the OP SO did. Its the lieing and deciving that is where it all is at. it makes a person wounder what esle she would lie about.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 158
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 8:43:32 AM

Seems like you have a problem finding 'real and true love' with guys your own age (whatever that might be), but I guess that's a different story.

I'm not sure it IS a different story...perhaps some women report themselves as being younger because have found that a significant number of men their own age are rigid, judgemental, set in their own ways as solid as cement, it's their way or the highway...??

I cannot say that this has been my personal experience,but I hear about it a lot.

Lotta folks in their second childhoods here on PoF.


I never made it out of my first childhood and I believe that's what keeps me out of institutional situations.


You would think true love doesn't go away just because you're older

Well, it's not SUPPOSED to.But then a lot of us are here in singlehood because something that wasn't SUPPOSED TO happen, DID.
Cindy O
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 159
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:58:41 AM
No the thought has crossed my mind also when I was asked to move in with someone older. 1st of all she did lie. Once a liar in my book always a liar. It is a big red flag. She is not secure with her self to be honest so feels the need to lie. I say dump her!
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 160
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:57:36 AM

4dutyandhumanity, Im curious why you have on your profile....."Actually, you can fib about your age, but phony pictures are just rude" Yet your stance on this thread has remained strong and one quote "You don't like the fact that lying about age matters - well, it does. Be honest or accept the consequences".
Ha ha..Busted! Nice catch decent m.. I've tried looking at 4duty's profile, but it's been hidden.
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 161
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:22:20 PM

4dutyandhumanity, Im curious why you have on your profile....."Actually, you can fib about your age, but phony pictures are just rude" Yet your stance on this thread has remained strong and one quote "You don't like the fact that lying about age matters - well, it does. Be honest or accept the consequences".



Easy question to answer. I went through a period where, of four women I met, three had shaved a few years of their ages. Unlike 'Jane', they told me right away, and they'd only subtracted three years. I figured if I was going to be a stickler about age, I might as well give up online dating, since most women seem to be unable to honestly state their ages.

This thread is making me reconsider that - I'm finding the thought of a woman together enough to present herself honestly as being kind of hot. On the other hand, the ladies on this thread, who seem to spend most of their time staring into malfunctioning mirrors (you're aging too, girls), are making 'true love' sound a lot like manipulation. Hey Dave - if you were 61, do you think Jane would be interested in *you*? I doubt it.

As to those who can't find 'appropriate' men their own age: you can have all the momma's boys, and all the clowns who go after older women because women their own age tell them to go to hell. Send decent_m and email and find out which category he falls into.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 162
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:43:43 PM
4dutyandhumanity wrote:

****** What a self-serving load of b.s. You would think true love doesn't go away just because you're older, given that you're looking for guys substantially younger than your stated age of 50, which you're also lying about. ******


This is exactly why I don't date men over 46 anymore.... nasty, condescending, and angry pretty much sums it up. Instead of simply asking me why I have 50 on my profile or why I date younger men, you choose to attack me instead. I would never treat someone like that, and especially someone I don't know. I have a feeling so many older men are so touchy because women in the age range they're looking for are looking for younger men. But maybe we wouldn't if men over about 45 or 46 were a little bit nicer. Sorry, but I've had my fill of being treated like this by men around my own age. And, I'm not the only one who is experiencing this. All of my friends and women from work are telling me the same thing.

I do have a real problem with men my age because most of them act like you.

Sharzi
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 163
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:55:43 PM
ladyc4 wrote:

******perhaps some women report themselves as being younger because have found that a significant number of men their own age are rigid, judgemental, set in their own ways as solid as cement, it's their way or the highway...?? ******

Thank you!!! Exactly. The attitude of the guy who responded to my post is exactly the sort of thing I come across all the time with men around my age or older.

I date men who are younger because I've never been treated as badly as I have been by men over 46. I promised myself I would never go out with anyone older than that again. I have made exceptions and every time I have, I've been sorry.

I report myself as 50 because the men in the age range I date never seem to search over 50. I tell any man interested the very first time we talk that I'm 53. I'm not ashamed of that or trying to hide it.... just would prefer to come up in searches for men in the age range I prefer.

My experiences with men over 46 have been horrible. I've been called fat right to my face, told they didn't like my makeup or perfume, my hair or even the shoes I wear. Rudeness seems to be the norm. They have been rude to waitresses, impatient in just about every way.

Also, many times men around my age haven't updated their look.... still wearing those huge glasses they bought in the 80's, have the whole combover thing going on, dressing like my father, and I am just not attracted to that. And I'm for sure not attracted to that attitude.
Sharzi
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 164
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:48:05 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^

I know this is hard to hear ... but you lot having a tough time being attracted to guys your own age ... we're having the same problem with you. Try getting over yourselves.

50 year old bodies, 17 year old attitudes - not pretty.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 165
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:30:36 AM

50 year old bodies, 17 year old attitudes - not pretty.

Why would someone with a less than perfect body and an apparent ancient, outdated attitude throw such stones? *shakes head at the hypocricy*

I'm thinking the Op doesn't appreciate you hijacking this thread with your own totally unyielding agenda. If lying about age bothers you as much as it apparently does, then why not start your own thread about it... where you can insult people under your own time?
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 166
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 6:56:26 AM
^^ I agree. I don't want to mis-represent. I would rather feel that someone contacted me knowing how old I actually am. However; I understand the premise of this thread and why some of the women do not state an actual age... Some people however, can only see one opinion.. Their Own and are unwilling to concede anothers arguement... Those types, no matter how old, I prefer to keep my distance from.

Edit to 4doodyandinhumanity msg 390... once again, you prove my point!
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 167
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:10:59 AM

Some people however, can only see one opinion.. Their Own and are unwilling to concede anothers arguement


Hello pot. Meet kettle.

Yes, swarms of early forties men are dying to meet early fifties women.

I wouldn't be interested in meeting you either - fantasy-land is too far away.
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 168
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:13:46 AM

If I see they have an age range on their profile showing less than their own stated age, I will point out to them that they are being hypocritical in not being willing to even consider someone their own age and are seeking someone as much as 8-10 yrs younger...

I very bluntly tell them, if you're not interested in even giving a person your own age an opportunity to get to know, don't ask me to give you a chance either. You don't want to date someone older and while I would, its ARROGANT HYPOCRITES like you I'm not interested in...then I put them on block and wipe the "jerk dust" off my hands and keyboard


Exactly right. And that goes for women too.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 169
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 12:42:31 PM
SHARZI

I am sorry you have had bad meetings with some men over 50 but i am offened by your saying all men over 50 is that way and we are not. i have went out with 3 ladys since my wife passed away and each one has said i was a perfect gentleman, and my daugther tells me I need to act a little bad and its not in me, i dont even know how to act that way so. Just a question if you want to answer if you dont that is ok but is thier something you could be doing to have men act that way? Granted even if you did that dont give them the right to treat that way.
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 170
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:34:29 PM
4duty wrote:

******I know this is hard to hear ... but you lot having a tough time being attracted to guys your own age ... we're having the same problem with you. Try getting over yourselves.

50 year old bodies, 17 year old attitudes - not pretty. ******


I don't need to get over myself 4duty.... I don't think I'm anything particularly special (to all but the one who will find me so), but I do deserve respect because I treat people the way I would like to be treated.

50 year old men don't have the best bodies either. For me, it has nothing to do with that anyway. Attraction comes more from a smile, the eyes, and a kind and loving nature. I actually prefer stocky men.... don't give a damn about physical imperfection ... but I do care that someone doesn't treat me like I'm beneath him... as you seem to have no problem doing.

Sharzi
 Sharzi
Joined: 10/6/2007
Msg: 171
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:39:18 PM
anyoneouttheir...

I wasn't talking about all men over 50... just the ones I've had the unfortunate misfortune in having gone out with, or anyone who acts like 4duty.

There are always exceptions, and it sounds like you fall into that category.

I'm a really nice person, fun to be around, and very patient and easy going. I have just walked into a restaurant and the guy would be rude to the waitress. After some light conversation, I've had men tell me they didn't like my makeup or felt I was fat, etc. That was totally unwarranted. I would never talk to someone like that.

I'm holding out someone who is a nice guy.

Sharzi
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 172
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/16/2008 7:35:40 PM

50 year old men don't have the best bodies either. For me, it has nothing to do with that anyway. Attraction comes more from a smile, the eyes, and a kind and loving nature. I actually prefer stocky men.... don't give a damn about physical imperfection ... but I do care that someone doesn't treat me like I'm beneath him... as you seem to have no problem doing.


Hmmm ... am I the one with a dating age range that ends seven years below my actual age? Nope.


I hate to break it to you, but I'm 59 and, on average, am contacted twice a week or more by men in their 30's and 40's ....and probably once a month on average by some in their 20's.


You know, I live in a college town, full of twenty-somethings. I don't think many of those young ladies are interested in me, and I don't think many of the young men are interested in you. I have no idea what email you're getting, how sincere the inquiries are, or whether they'd turn into dates. I'm from Missouri on this one (ie, show me).

Anyone notice how 'guys over 50 only want to sit on the couch and watch movies' morphed into 'guys over 50 are closed minded'?

And I ain't giving up my comb-over and my polyester leisure suits for nobody.
 4dutyandhumanity
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 173
view profile
History
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:05:42 AM

4duty.. u realy look like my dad and its not just the polyester its ur energy field


Yeah, ramdael - how about y'all post a photo of yourself, so we can see what you look like - a current photo, btw. Or at least one of 'ur' energy field.



And yes, if the ladies try to improve in their looks, why is that men, who normally look older than their age, have never bothered?


What - you want guys to wear make-up? If you mean staying in shape, some people work at keeping themselves in shape, and some don't. That cuts across both genders. Go to the mall and have a look around.
 dave4754
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 174
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:17:23 AM
Wow, what an incredible slice of human opinion on this topic of age.
Sharzi,,, I went to your profile and looked it over, you are a very attractive woman and as for your profile well it reads right there that you are not a Barbie. Great, no surprise then when you meet, only a jerk would say you are fat! As for your not recieving emails from people over 50 well again you are up front ... right on!

I posted this as I was really hurt and noone to turn to in the small town i live in. The opinions expressed here helped to make me feel human at least in that I SHOULD still love her as only her age changed. The Fact is though I have been LIED to for a very long time over very intense conversations concerning time, something she has less of than she told me. This takes time to absorb, analyse and why should I when I was so honest with her about everything, she asked about all of MY dates, relationships etc. Where was her honesty, why not be forthright with me.

It is true that if she had told me she was 8 yrs older I probably would not have continued dating her, that would have been my loss as this lady has taught me many things. However, if she would have told me around the first month of our engagement I might have felt better and willing to continue marrying her, other issues since have come up regarding totally honesty and her ability to see things only from her perpective. This and the age are the reasons I regret to say will spell the death knell for this relationship, I am hurt and sorry for any hurt I have caused but we are still talking and she still is a great catch. Age does matter .........to some!

Honesty for the most part seems to matter (as expressed in this thread) TO ALL!! Be honest and good luck fishing, thanks for your comments

Dave
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 175
wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?
Posted: 5/21/2008 9:56:09 AM

something she has less of than she told me.

And you know this because...?
Every day we hear about people living to be over 100. We also hear about people of 24, 35, etc dying by accident, misadventure, catastrophic illness. Unless God has revealed to you the exact day that this lady's life will end, how can YOU KNOW how much time she may or may not have left.

other issues since have come up regarding totally honesty and her ability to see things only from her perpective. This and the age are the reasons I regret to say will spell the death knell for this relationship


Meaning you no disrespect, I think what's really going on here is another damaged man who suddenly realizes he's ventured an "unsafe" distance into a committed relationship and is now looking for a reason to backpedal, without actually totally exiting the scene.

Please, Dave, sh*t or get off the pot.

If you do not want to be in a committed relationship that has a FUTURE(however long or short that may be) then don't leave her twisting in the wind
we are still talking and she still is a great catch

Lay your cards on the table,dude. If she is OK with continuing to see you in a relationship that is going nowhere,fine. But don't dink around pretending you are still considering marriage while you get your nookie fix and look around for a woman of a more suitable age that you will dump her for. OK she lied about something.If you can't let that go, then WALK AWAY NOW. Don't let your diminished respect for her be an excuse to play sh*thead games.
Cindy O
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway?