|Paren-talesPage 17 of 17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)|
Dec. 8th will be the ONE year mark of Elijahblue being removed from his original school. Not only is he almost completely mainstreamed into the 2nd grade classroom, but his grades are all As with one B & he is batting 1000! This isn't to say that the bad days aren't bad, but merely alot less so than they once were.
And I, dear ones?
Recieved word that I have a scholarship that will pay the rest of my college degree plan in FULL!
Posted: 12/9/2009 8:51:41 AM
MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!
Are you awake? I want to snuggle, Mom!!!
Flip flop, pounce, jump, flip flop, pounce!
The bedsprings are rattling my brain as I open my eyes...
Wrap your arms around me & snuggle like ya mean it!
Nose to nose he whispers to me,
Love me, Love me, Love me!!!
He backed up against me, put his head on my arm & sighed...
Good love, Mom. That's what it's all about.
And went back to sleep.
Posted: 12/17/2009 9:31:18 AM
|My 7 yr old "officially" has ADHD & ODD. He has a Rule Out of Aspberger's/PDD(Spectrums of Autism) Along with the above, he has an astronomical IQ, last tested two summers ago (age six) @ 115. He passed the Iowa test with above average scores & his school considered skipping him from first to third grade. At age seven, he's reading my college biology & pre-algebra books & explaining them in detail to me. |
He flourishes on & HAS to have routine. He HAS to have scheduling down to the letter-almost to the second.
October to December kills us every year. This year is no different. His principal told me yesterday that the alternative learning enviroment that he was moved in Dec. '08 may be moving him again as he has shut down completely. If this happens, he will slide so far backwards I may not be able to pull him back out of it.
I'm not sure why I'm going into detail with all of you other than to hold myself together.
I know from years of learning & growing alongside him, we are a stealth combination of strengh. In watching him handle situations differently @ different times, I'm acquiring wisdom. I've learned from seven and a half years that the worst times that break my heart & rip me to shreads...the temper tantrums, the shredding of both of our souls....are the times he needs my love the most.
Posted: 1/5/2010 1:41:05 PM
|It's going downhill quick, fast & in a hurry. E's sliding backwards & the admin in his school district is balking thinking they might be moving him to a different school to see if they can do anything for him.|
Good days are good, bad days are not balancing out.
I met someone over the weekend that was an absolutely, completely a true gentleman.
Things are getting interesting in the house on the hill.
Posted: 1/5/2010 11:39:21 PM
|aww, hang in there sweets...and pull your little mannie close. Perhaps the back slide is because of Christmas Vacation? His routine is shot...|
I have my fingers crossed on the gentleman. And on your baby...
Posted: 1/12/2010 11:47:35 AM
|I contacted Disability Serviecs & got them moving on helping Elijah get the modifications he's needing for school. After the appointment with DDS, I made a referral to Cir/Cuit, a group of teachers, therapists & other professionals that might possibly get the ball rolling for E to help him with school. |
Posted: 1/25/2010 6:29:24 PM
|We struggle. We fight uphill battles. We slay dragons & demons with swords made of aluminum foil. We brace ourselves for the inevitable. We fight tooth & nail for a handhold...to stay in the game of life. The sick feeling of dread from giving all you have only to see it pour through your fingers like water trickling into the ground...racing against time to provide the roof, the four walls internal that create the stability, the home, the life that we want our children to have. Never wanting them to have a grasp of worry, fright or pain... |
Watching as they grow. Laughter richoecting off the walls of the home made together. Soft kisses in the morning. Cocoa all over the where. Toothpaste on the bathroom door. (I read somewhere it helps make the door shiny, Mom)
Step by step. Inch by inch. Hands creating. Minds learning.
Love holds it all togther
Posted: 2/3/2010 8:53:37 PM
|Thursday when I picked him up from school, it was a bad report day.|
I hung my head & cried my heart out. I think that scared him worse than any harsh words or raised voices could've ever come close. I held his hand & told him I was NOT giving up on him, that I knew he was better than that. He bowed his head & cried with me for quite a while.
We left town Thursday night to beat the snow/ice storm in to find Friday morning that schools were closed here. He went half days Monday & Tues & had exemplary days
with today being even better.
I held his hand on the way home from his sitter's tonight as he yawned hugely. I said lay your head back & rest sweetie. He closed his eyes, squeezed my hand & said thank you for calling me that. I love being yours.
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:07:48 PM
|I did everything to get in trouble and the worst I recieved was banned from the bus and it was a pretty aggressive decision of mine to urinate in a glove and fling it at a wanna be gangster who thought he was the s.hit. Turned out he was the s... wait he was just p.issed off but all he called me was a phycho :P.|
But it got me thinking how many chances I recieved to turn my life around and these pricks at a school board get more prickish by the second at the good kids. Hang in there momma. Your other son, Brand
better to be pissed off then pissed on? Or both haha
With blood shot eyes I watch you sleeping
The moment calls can she hear me
Can she hear me
If I calls her name
Would she know me
Would she feel my shame
Your tears don't fall
They crash around you
The sound may cause
But the memories deny you
Your tears don't fall
They crash around you
Posted: 2/8/2010 9:16:25 PM
It started snowing here around 3am...or so the text from a dear friend said anyway. When I woke @ 6am, there were three inches of white stuff. When Eblue woke @ 830am, he came flying under my covers to whisper I'm SOOOOO late for school!
Get UP! I said man....go look out the window & see if the sun is shining.
MOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! OMG! It's...MOM! Look-it's aghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! All over the place!!!!
11am, dressed in three layers, a scarf, a pair of gloves & boots, he ate lunch & headed out to tear the neighborhood kids up in a massive snowball fight.
1130am, I walked down the stairs to the car to get sideswipped by the neighborhood heathens...Eman @ the helm. ATTACK!!!!!!! I may not be as good as I once was, but I gave them a run for thier money!
He made snow angels, he played hard finding every unfrozen puddle & managing to tromp through it finally coming in to thaw for a second or two before heading out for one last reign of snowball king
I tucked him in tenderly & snuck over to his window pulling the drape back to see more snow falling as the ice continued to freeze.
Tomorrow...he's in for it.
Posted: 2/11/2010 10:04:26 AM
|Every parent quietly prays for thier babies to shine out of the starting gate...to be the smartest, cutest, hit the baseball the furtherest...the one with confidence, friends...you know of which I speak whether you might want to admit it or not.|
The genius has ADHD/ODD with a faint trace of Aspberger's & dysgraphia thrown in to keep me on my toes. Transitions upset him, (new teachers/subs coming in, holidays & not keeping in routine), structure turned inside out hurts him in a way he cannot express. He has sensory overload issues that tear me apart...for him. My car stereo is NEVER to be above levels 2 or 3. School bells ringing take him to his knees. He hasn't seen the inside of a Wal-Mart store in quite sometime as it is too busy for him to take in. His meltdowns are often full frontal assaults of epic proportions due to his lack of filtering in the sensory arena that you & I take for granted. Seconds later, he is curled up in my lap, his arms around me as I hold him, apologizing over & over again for his actions.
You wouldn't realize his strengths during a meltdown because all you would have to judge him by were his weaknesses & failures.
The genius is a combination of such shining intellect that it almost makes my heart ache to be around him. A few days shy of age 8, he is reading on a college level, comprehending & discussing with me Galileo's theory, Newton as well as Nikola Tesla's theory of radio and modern electrical transmissions systems.
He scores above proficienct in all areas on standardized tests on state tests & is willing, able & ready to help anyone with reading, math (he "helped" my teacher teach my basic math class or 12 & knew what he was doing) & anything else he sees a need for. His empathy knows no bounds.
He is my 4ft2 eyes of blue boy in my pictures. If your eyes slide over his blue eyes, his turned up smile or his honery streak, you won't physically *see* any deformities. You won't see his synapses exploding in a million different areas & coming back together painfully…fragment by fragment.
You wouldn't know that his IQ is 115, that he is ambidextrious or that he is twice-exceptional…until you talked to him & had to force yourself to remember he was 7, not 47.
Please know that inside that little mind thats is working in overdrive, there is a frightened, oft overwhelmed little boy that wants nothing more than to please, love & be loved.
Isn’t that what we all want?
Posted: 2/11/2010 5:13:55 PM
|wow....no words. I'm swallowing the lump in my throat...|
Posted: 2/12/2010 1:46:40 AM
|Well Tonya he is a sure genius for sure. Don't forget even Eighnstien was diagnosed with major depression and was considered a lunatic in his days for example. Now we look at him as the brightest minds ever! Point is it's stressful living everyday no respect and no chance to prove how smart your son can truly be and everyone just wants to make money off a cause of how to satisfy their own needs. Those who don't know I am diagnosed with schizophrenia paranoia no one could help me till I helped myself then everything just clicked. I've been through so much stress I could feel my hands gripping my heart from the pain that stigmitized from there. So much stress on my head that I felt my brain on fire at times. And sometimes so much stress in my chest I had to go to the ER cause it felt I was having a heart attack. Luckily just stress. But so much pain and frustration it brought forth of suicide and murder I didn't want to live I just wanted to go out the hard way. Joined the Corps for a day regardless of my condition to kill or be killed. That's when they shipped me away back home after finding phychotrophic drugs in my system. Basically it made me more bitter more depressed and I tried constantly to slit my throat. I needed help!|
It wasn't until I found strength through poetry I found such beauty in myself and others I found on Plenty of Fish for example. Thank you all for all you've done and I can never repay your generosity. Truely thank you Tonya for taking me under your wing and sharing my story with you and now others can see my frustrations I endured. I only hope I can save another life out there.
Once more Tonya in 8th grade I scored a 14 on the ACT in 8th grade! :) Sometimes it takes a brilliant mind to endure the strengh the weak minded can't handle. Again thank you I only hope to make everyone happy that I can. thank you.
|Paren-Tales of a Jujubee |
Posted: 2/22/2010 8:24:12 AM
|I'm planning a summer away.|
An entire summer of laketime, fishing, arrowhead hunting, fishing & pure BOYdom summerness. I'm praying that this will be the best thing that could ever happen, that we'll pull together & that E...will enjoy being a kid in the countrym spreading his wings & spending time with people he doesn't have alot of extra time with during school.
There's more to say, but not @ the moment.
Namaste, my friends.
|Paren-Tales of a Jujubee |
Posted: 2/25/2010 12:20:12 PM
|Thank you for listening to each nuance & inflection in my voice as I spoke of my son's condition to you. Thank you for observing each minute thing that might't matter to someone else, but YOU caught them all. You cared enough for him to validate each & every thing I've read up on, thought & poured over for hours on end the last three & a half years in regards to him. Thank you for giving him the opening to trust someone besides his mom, to realize that he HAS potential & to help him create that potential.|
Thank you for giving me hope.
|Paren-Tales of a Jujubee |
Posted: 3/20/2010 9:57:16 AM
|Ever read the email asking if you know the name of the custodian @ your child's school or your place of employment? They, too, contribute, no matter how inconsequential thier part might seem in the grand scheme.|
In January, I stumbled on Partners for Inclusion near where I go to college everyday. I spoke to a woman that might have shut me out, told me to make an appointment-that her schedule was immense & she'd call me after I went through the proper steps.
She didn't. She took the time to tell me she was in a meeting, could I be back by 1 that day & bring any documentation I had on Elijah with me?
She was instrumental in changing everything in his life & someday when he's older, I'll explain that to him. She listened. She asked questions. She validated my gut instincts & gave me a huge amount of emotional support in the span of an hour.
She recommeneded an Occupational Therapist that works with kids like E, telling me she's an Autism/Aspberger's Whisperer of sorts.
After putting him through a battery of tests including IQ, Occupation Therapy, Speech Therapy as well as testing with a Neuro Psycholigist, we are finally finding out what is going on with Elijah...in his mind, through his eyes...
He is officially Gifted with both Memory & Sensory Disorder, which makes him Twice Exceptional or Dually Gifted. Having been given labels doesn't make everything perfect & probably won't ever, but it gives his Mom & his care team a good place to start.
All because one person took the time to open a door & listen. We each DO make a difference in someone else's life.
|Paren-Tales of a Jujubee |
Posted: 4/1/2010 5:45:33 PM
|Every parent's heart glows with all the good things, doesn't it? Attaboys, praise to the heavens, well done, kiddos?|
How does a tiny crack in the lining of the strongest of hearts set of a firestorm of the deepest unmaginable pain ever created? How is it, I, as a parent, can't fill all the minute tears in his heart & mind & save him from pain?
Tonight was the first karate lesson for an eight year old I know & love with all my heart. He wasn't sure going in, but as it began, he took his place tentively. As noise levels gradually got louder & louder, he stopped. functioning. moving. participating...tears ran down his face as he looked for me.
As I held my safety spot by the back door (for him to look back & see that yes, his mom was near), my knuckles were white, my breathing possibly as painful as each of his.
Should I go to him? Let him work it out in his own way? M.Victor noticed immediately, softly speaking to him around the activity for several minutes, stood, put his arm around Elijah & led him to me gently to me where he laid his head on my shoulder & cried his heart out.
When he caught his breath, he said I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm embarrassed, but I'm not leaving. Can I please stay & watch? It's new, but I might want to try again next time.
As we sat there, quietly watching & talking, I told him that he would never be a failure in my eyes because he cared enough to try-to stretch his bounds of comfort & do his dead level best.
|Paren-Tales of a Jujubee |
Posted: 4/6/2010 5:41:19 PM
|Hi all! I'm gearing down for the meeting I've been prepping for for the last couple years...my second chance @ redemption for the blonde haired blue eyed one, Elijah. |
I might be back someday, but for now...I'm needed on the homefront.
Thank you ALL for supporting me & loving me & mine through the years, laughter, sadness & tears.
Love you muchly,
17 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)