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 Vanilla Scent
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 4
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
On a dating site. I think children picture's should just be left out. Why can't they just word it say they are kid friendly. Open minded about it. Instead of posting pictures of anyone kids? Isn't that what m.y.s.p.a.c.e. is for!!! Since you have that option set as private! Family and friend's and all the above? Where this is a dating site. And should use words to express! Even though most people on this site. Have kids and aren't even honest about that one as well!!!!!

Phone text? wtf? This is 2008 get over it LoL Opps was that shorthand?
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 7
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Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:01:36 AM
Save the kiddie pics for your my space account in a private folder that only limited people can view. Why is it wrong? It's less about wrong than family security. If there were no such things as identity theft or pedophiles it would be far more acceptable. Since we don't live in a perfect world, protecting your children is more important than trying to show people that you care. You actually show MORE caring by not USING them to attempt to attract a mate IMO.

Yeah, I love my kid, but you won't find a picture of her on a dating site, that's for darn sure!
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 10
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:28:18 PM

We are here to meet someone and we write a profile about ourself; not one about ourself and our children.


I would have to disagree,, My son is a big part of who I am,, therefore,, a woman should know that from the get go,, and not latter on...

I don't use my son to attract woman,, but I would rather say,, my son is a extension of me,, and we, together are a team ,, and have fun,, that should be part of a profile,, an expression of who we are...

Children meet strangers everyday,,, it's one thing to expose our children to the world or the Internet,, (in bad taste) but here,, I protect my son,, both in the real world and the world of the Internet,, Matter of fact it's safer here than the real world,, in my opinion..
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 12
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Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 7/26/2008 3:26:52 PM


I would have to disagree,, My son is a big part of who I am,, therefore,, a woman should know that from the get go,, and not latter on...

I don't use my son to attract woman,, but I would rather say,, my son is a extension of me,, and we, together are a team ,, and have fun,, that should be part of a profile,, an expression of who we are...

Children meet strangers everyday,,, it's one thing to expose our children to the world or the Internet,, (in bad taste) but here,, I protect my son,, both in the real world and the world of the Internet,, Matter of fact it's safer here than the real world,, in my opinion..


Why not just get a puppy and take a picture with it? Women dig cute animals right? So if you happen to be in the picture with one maybe they'll look again and think you're an animal lover, right?

My Daughter is VERY much an important part of my life. To use HER as an attraction would be wrong, period, end of story. It's a morals issue. If a woman is interested in me, I will bring up my Daughter and feel them out on kids. In no way, shape or form are you unique in that your Son is important to who you are, but it's not appropriate to expose him to the Internet and all the creeps out there.

I'm an IT guy. Security is one of my jobs. Do you have ANY clue how many kids have been approached indecently on the Internet? WAAAAAYYY too many for my comfort. There's no magical software to protect them, only good common sense.

So it's up to YOU, the caring father that you profess to be, to protect your child from possible harm and this is one such situation where you need to put your child AHEAD of your goals to meet someone. It's not worth the risk to your kid. Ditch the picture and show that you really do care about him.
 nzgara
Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 14
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:46:52 AM
You should never buy a nice car, someone will steal it...

You should never talk to anyone you don't know, they might rape you...

You should never be nice to anyone, they'll take it for weakness...

You should never socialize with unknown people online, stalkers stalk more than children

You should never agree to meet people you've only met online, they'll rob, rape, abuse, stalk, target you

You should never date anyone you don't know already, you can't be too careful

You should never get friendly with anyone and communicate frequently with them online, they'll steal your identity

You should never use computers for online banking, they'll steal all your money

You should never try so hard to give others your fears, they have enough of their own...
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 15
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:39:33 PM

First, You are using your son to attract women. That's sad.

That is quit an assumption,, but I'll let you have your opinion,,


She's not going to date your son...she's going to date you. Her maternal instincts will take over if she's a good person.

Your right she is not going to date my son,, my son and I are a team,, I'm sure this will just blow your mind,, But my dates include my son,, you can jump all over that if you like,,, but date are just people,, like any other we meet day in and out,, whether it be a brief conversation,, or a friend of a friend who my son and I meet for the first time,, no difference,,


You are putting your son in danger by exposing him on a dating site .

It's inappropriate. Boys get abused and kidnapped as much as girls do.


Right,, my son has no access to this site or any others,, except for PBS kids,, Noggin,,

Yet we can send our children to school,, to church, where as a parent,, we are led to believe our children are safe,, But yet they are not,, teachers have been convicted of molesting children,, bus drivers the same,, Our religious leaders have done so as well.. those people we are supposed to trust,, even if it's a rare occasion, but it dose happen,, can you say what child is next,, I can't, Yet those men and woman do have access to my son, and other children,

Yet on the Internet,, no one has access with out my permission,, don't give me the crap they can find me,, so can't anyone else,, all you need to do is a phone search.. and he or she could live just two blocks away,,

I think some people are just to paronid...


Second, with over 125 people who put you on your favorites, how many of them are not men?


I see to relevance to that statement,, yet there is one man out of the 125 ,, who has put me in their fav,, are you suggested just men abuse children,, I don't think so,,,
Geeze should I include over 200+ clients who over the years have met my son,, should they be considered as people who are unfit,, just because I personally do not know there entire back ground ,, I think not,,

You have fears built into you,, therefore you need to project them on others,, where I believe most people mean no harm,, yet keep a watchful eye out,, without the paranoia..

Good luck to you,, and I will continue to do what do,,
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 17
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Posted: 7/30/2008 12:33:49 PM
I've been in computers since the first PC came out. I will guarantee that I can go through most everyone's computer used on this site and find some sort of security breech that the user was unaware of.

I don't need a phone to find you, your computer uses the internet. You log in and you have an IP address. Just by looking at the range and a quick search in one of the MANY databases available I can tell who your carrier is. Now I do another search and I can tell what area that carrier uses for the range. I then further refine my search and do a trace on it, now I have a direct line to your computer from mine.

Knowing this information is child's play out here. I will not further explain how I can trace you because I don't want to teach any nut cases around here how to track someone, but you SHOULD be getting the point by now.

Proud is one thing, I can understand that, but being ignorant of just how easy it is these days to find someone is inexcusable. I'm telling you it can be done and there are programs out there just for this.

There is no excuse not to arm oneself with knowledge as a child's protector. Go research it. In fact, go read the book "Hacking Exposed" and you'll have a whole new and different thought process on the Internet. You will NOT feel very secure, that's for darn sure.

I HAVE to keep current on the attacks our network face every day. I trace them back to the source and get in touch with ISPs all the time and have people's accounts suspended because they were being used as SPAM machines and had no clue they were infected. I bet most of people aren't even using a firewall and have no clue just what it does.

Ignorance is Bliss...
I'm not paranoid, I'm an IT profesional.
My warning wasn't a "Whim", it was good advice from one parent to another.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 18
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 7/30/2008 1:11:51 PM
dday555,, I sure your were not addressing me,, but if you were,, advice is something that is asked for,, I certainly did not ask for any,, advice is like drugs and a hour glass,, once given,, the giver is gone,, then you are left in time with more crap than what you started with,,,
I do happen to agree with you,, someone can find us on the Internet,, the same way they can use a phone search, go through a people search,, motor vehicle,, public records at city hall,, and the list goes on and on,,

If someone want to live in a compound, in fear of life so be it,, with tall fences,, and security guards roaming the grounds,, with a chance that guard may be a child molester,, so be it,, I do not fear what you suggest,, yet I am aware,, of most if not all things and issues that may harm both my son and me,, I will confront any issues that should occur,, however in doing that I will not, nor will my son live in fear of what might happen in life,, but rather live life,, and learn from it,, again,, with my watchful eye,,

peace,, we will live life............
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 9/1/2008 12:21:52 PM
The one you want - the big enchilada, head honcho, site owner - all that - is Marcus, also known as Bigfish. He does read his emails - has responded to mine on more than one occasion. However, your local mods, as well as the admin, can be reached at this site:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts70399.aspx

As many times as I have seen similar threads - and my own feelings are similar to yours (kids shouldn't be on a dating site) - I have not seen anything akin to making that a rule. Good luck to you with your quest
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 24
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/15/2009 5:33:43 PM
goaliebns
Thanks, hopefully, I'll stop getting nasty emails telling me how wrong I am having pictures of my son "our" profile..

I have always said my son is safer at home with me, than he is in school..Internet access is supervised by me,, PPS kids, and Nickelodeon.
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 25
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Posted: 1/16/2009 2:46:01 PM
You can lead a horse to water...

Just remember that if 98% of the time you kid is safe, there's STILL a 2% chance that they will become a statistic. That is still WAY to high a risk IMO.

Call me protective, but I work in the field and have a much better idea of the risks. There's no need to post a picture of ANYONE under the age of 18 because they're minors and you are *Supposed* to be their protector and mentor. What are you teaching your kid by posting a picture of them on the Internet about safety or privacy?

And really... We don't want to see those pictures anyway... MOST people aren't here to date your children...
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 27
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:19:45 AM
There is something about it that's just creepy when I come across a pic of a guy with a baby in his lap here. When men have pics of their kids here I always wonder if his ex would be ok with that or if those were the only pictures he could find after she kicked him out. I just think if someone is going to present themselves as so "family oriented" they wouldn't be cruising online for someone new. Now if they're widowed that's a different story, but seeing someone here who is divorced and has a bunch of kids is like a cold shower to me.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 28
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2009 1:12:49 PM

There is something about it that's just creepy when I come across a pic of a guy with a baby in his lap here.

Is it you find a guy who has a baby in his laps or arms creepy because,, a man is not supposed to love his child. What is creepy about a dad and a his child,,


When men have pics of their kids here I always wonder if his ex would be ok with that or if those were the only pictures he could find after she kicked him out.

The first part I get,, but to assume his ex kicked him out,, I have issues with that,, a lot of women are poor moms,,as well as a lot of women are good moms,, same as a lot of men are good dads,, and some suck..


Now if they're widowed that's a different story,

Why is it different,, I'm sure loving your child and showing it has nothing to do with being divorced or widowed,,


but seeing someone here who is divorced and has a bunch of kids is like a cold shower to me.

OK,, that's is not you thing,, but from what I read, it's ok if a man is widowed,,Hmmm
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 29
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2009 2:46:47 PM
Is it you find a guy who has a baby in his laps or arms creepy because,, a man is not supposed to love his child. What is creepy about a dad and a his child,,


A man trolling online for women with a baby in his arms IS creepy. I have seen a couple of profiles where they are looking for intimate encounters.Some pretend to be family men in their profiles but are real players in person. Putting a picture up for complete strangers in an online adult dating site is not proof that he loves his child. If he really loves his child he wouldn't have abandoned the child's mother so fast.
There is always CONSTANT cases of males who will boldly put their children in danger or neglect to satisfy their sexual needs somewhere.
Recently there was a case of a guy going to meet an underage girl while wearing a t-shirt saying "World's Best Dad". Hillareous but at the same time, sad.


The first part I get,, but to assume his ex kicked him out,, I have issues with that,, a lot of women are poor moms,,as well as a lot of women are good moms,, same as a lot of men are good dads,, and some suck..


That is why anyone should choose very wisely who they have children with. It is the commitment of a lifetime. A man who will desert the mother of his children for some minor infraction like "her body wasn't as hot after she had kids" or "she was frigid after having kids" is just sad. I feel sorry for the children of divorce. The best dads are the ones that love and respect the mother of their children and visa versa. If they can't love or commit to their child's mother why would they ever love, or commit to me? Also if they have just had a child with someone in less than a year, don't you think dating should not be their top priority?
This is just how "I" feel and although it may not be right, my instincts have not led me down the wrong path with a man.
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 30
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Posted: 1/23/2009 3:03:23 PM
While I agree with some of that, I see some glaring problems...

First off, just because a couple cannot live with each other any more, it doesn't make either of them bad parents. If both separated\divorced parties are actively working together to be the best parents they can be, REGARDLESS of personal issues between them, they should be applauded, not flamed. A child IS a life-time commitment, but to the CHILD, not the other parent.

That being said, some people grow apart, or some other event happens that makes staying together possible. It seems very judmental of you to assume you understand everyone's situations, no?

The gist of most people's argument is that it's in poor taste and makes the parents look desperate to convey that they are family oriented when some good wording in your profile would do the same thing.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 31
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2009 3:25:57 PM
MissM..
I under stand what your saying,, but it's one sided,, meaning not all cases is it the mans fault, and you make it sound that way,, ( a woman kicking the man out) or (leaving for a hot body)or 9leaving because she might be frigid)
I agree, those who say together might be best for parenting,, only if there is love in the home,, other wise if a failed attempt,, because the child will learn what love is not,, yet learned to call it love and kindness,,


I think in all fairness, both the man and the woman are equally as blame for a failed marriage with or without children,, it's not just the men as it seems you suggest.. I say that because you haven't said anything negative about a woman ( if I missed it I'm sorry) but your negativity about a men is evident.. Where as, there are an awful lot of unfit mothers out there,, just as there are fathers,, so lets not forget that..

There are a lot of men who have sole custody of there children,, I would guess the list why is endless,,a mother who abandoned her child and husband, drugs, etc..those issues are not gender related,,

Again I would agree, pictures of children could be used for the wrong reasons,, just like anything there is always that bad seed,,

But there are some of us,, me included who have pictures of there children, not to prove they are good fathers,, but rather to say,, hey my child is part of my life,,and you as a potential partner should be warned,, this is who i /we are.. like it or not,,

Because there are some woman who are selfish and want to always come first,, that statement comes from my experience,, but I'm smart enough to weed that crap out before the first date..

My point is what ever men are capable of,, so aren't women..

Don't get me wrong I have no negativity about women,, I love them,, but when men are blamed for things,, That is where I can always show women can and do the same things as men..... so lets be fair,,in my opinion..
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 32
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:00:40 PM
rdcnrom,
No - women are not blameless. My father left when I was 2 because my mother had a violent streak and was mentally ill. I blame her for driving him away, and I blame him for being a coward and leaving me with her. I looked at your profile and there's nothing creepy about it as long as you are nobel in your dating pursuits. I think single mothers displaying their children in their online dating pursuits are more at risk to pedophiles, which is really what this thread is about. It is a safety and discretion issue.

Both people should make sure that there is love in the home and they have a lasting relationship BEFORE children become a part of the picture. I often wonder why now it seems to be fashionable to make babies first and THEN later decide to marry or figure out if the relationship will work out. For that reason men should be just as careful about premarital sex as women are suppose to be. My thought is they had to be compatable enough to MAKE the baby so they didn't think the other was that horrible or repulsive then. I do not envy single parents and thank God every day that I am not one. I have peace in my life now that I never had when I was growing up in a broken, fatherless home. I don't want to step into a hornet's nest with someone who has freshly left a relationship with the other parent of their children.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 33
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:25:23 PM
^^^^ MissM you are right it's about pictures of children in someones profile,, it's not about who is the better parent, why they have children, why they separated, divorced or widowed,, ,, it's not about a good or bad fathers or mothers ,, so why bring it up,, there are forums all over to discuss that,,or start your own,,

Thank you for your comment on my profile,, but again,, it's not about me or my intentions,, others,,, I'm am sure have there reasons as well, good and bad,,

Personally I have no issues with a man or a woman who choose to have their children's pictures in their profile,, it's says nothing about there past relationship,, so why assume..

just my opinion,, I mean no offence MissW
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 35
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Posted: 1/28/2009 4:21:23 AM
Would you take your child to a Singles Meet Event? Same rules apply IMO. People are not here to date your children nor should they be used as "Bait" to show that you care about them. You can broadcast that through solid communications to whomever you Email, so there's really no excuse. Or, *GASP*, you can write it in your profile and spend some time actually writting something solid! Holy smokes, can you beleive you actually can do that and have that option???

They should ban all pictures of people with their kids here. If you're Separated or Divorced does your X know that you've posted pictures of the kids? Better watch out for how that would go over in court. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels it's inappropriate. Why not ask a Judge what they think during your custody battle?

Stupid is as stupid does.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 36
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/28/2009 5:17:23 AM

Would you take your child to a Singles Meet Event?

Yes, I would. Matter of fact my son and I will be doing just that this weekend.

However it's not called a singles meet. But technically a bar is where people go to meet people. It's not normally a place where we bring our children.

What we will be doing attending a uphill snowmobile drag racing, early in the day children will be racing their sleds, as well as adults, Who will attend, single, married, divorced, separated, widows. Out of that group I just mentioned, there are 4 possibilities that I could meet someone and date. Yet at the same time I will know people there, both men and women.. The event will have food, soda, drinks, a band, activities for children with prizes..

This is a social gathering like any other, only it's not a fair or a circus, as a parent I would worry more about those two places. Because of the shear number of people who have access to my son, All a parent needs to do in blink, and their child could become an abducted / missing child..

POF is not just about dating, there are quit a few choices that someone can choose. Such as married, friends, not looking, etc..

I have said this before, My son is an extension of me,, therefore it is "US".. We are a team.. No one dates a child, "True" but a child can be included in a date, how else are people going to learn to interact.

Communication plays a very important part in any relationship,, but lets not for get so doesn't actions, many times those actions speak volumes,, that words can not express. Lets not for get body language and facial expression, such as a smile, laughter, those are not expressed in words, yet it is a very important part of communication..

The idea of banning picture in profiles is flawed, because my son is safer at home with me, than he is anywhere else.
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 37
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Posted: 1/29/2009 4:44:39 AM
A Singles Meet Event like the ones planned here are usually at bars, include drink and dancing. That's what I was referring to. An event that's about snowmobiles and the like is NOT specifically just for single people as an event and therefore isn't the same for obvious reasons.

As for taking your kid out with you on a date... Good luck with that...

I notice you dind't answer my question: Does the MOTHER know that you posted your child's picture at a dating site?

Nice job of skirting the issue and trying to justify your reasoning though...
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 38
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 1/29/2009 5:21:14 AM

Does the MOTHER know that you posted your child's picture at a dating site?
Nice job of skirting the issue and trying to justify your reasoning though...

I didn't realize that question was directed toward me..
To answer it,, My wife, my sons mother passed away when my son was 1 yr old. i assure you, if that wasn't the case we wouldn't be here,,


As for taking your kid out with you on a date... Good luck with that...

Thanks,, just happens I'm taking a woman to this event, with my son..
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 41
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Posted: 4/3/2011 9:50:27 AM
You can't believe how many profiles of women that I've seen lately featuring photographs of them with their (or someone else's) children. I agree with the original poster of this discussion. It is inappropriate and irresponsible to post a child's face on an adult dating site. You don't know who is looking at your profile at any time (there's an invisible feature, remember?) and these pictures can very easily be copied and saved into someone's hard drive. In the wrong hands these pictures get traded among perverts around the world. Not to mention, it is an incredible invasion of the child's privacy. The picture that I have on my profile was actually taken with my nephew under my arm, but of course I cut him out of the shot when I posted it here. There's nothing wrong with showing potential dates that you are family-oriented, but you can share photos of your children through e-mail once you've established trust with the other person.
 hemingwaycaddis
Joined: 9/17/2012
Msg: 45
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 10/10/2012 1:21:20 PM
I would never post a picture of my son here; if you don’t like kids or have issues with him, we won’t be dating, but you do not need to see a picture of him to know this. If seeing a picture of him changes your mind about how you feel regarding him, we WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT BE DATING!!!

Having said that, I do not mind seeing a nice family picture, but I really do think multiple pictures of kids or pictures with only the kids are creepy. I have viewed profiles with one fuzzy out of focus picture of the lady and then tons of her kids (or pets!). Same as with kids, if there are pictures of pets, I’d prefer them to be You & the pet, not just pictures of a cat sleeping on the couch. I really don’t want to find a dog to walk or a kid to babysit, although I enjoy both & wouldn’t mind doing either, I simply don’t care what the kid or dog looks like. (well, not entirely true, I might hesitate to walk a Chihuahua that has ribbons or clothing…)

HC
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 46
Profile pictures with CHILDREN!!!!
Posted: 10/10/2012 1:52:55 PM
WOW!!! this topic has been closed for yrs,, Hey,, my son is part of me,, it's that simple,,
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