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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Do men hate it when women they like have kids?      Home login  
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 singledad13b
Joined: 9/25/2003
Msg: 100
Re: DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
four children alone ten years

and no one gives a hoot

it sucks
 TexKJ
Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 101
Re: DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 5/9/2005 6:49:31 PM
I dont' mind women that have a child. Not trying to offend anyone, but more than one I do have a problem with. I have a child of my own, and I hope one day to have another with a woman I love and can spend the rest of my life with. Never cared for a big family. Three kids at the most is what I want.

I'm sure that would go out the window if I felt a connection with somebody, as it should, but there's so many issues in dating someone, and throwing a child into the mix has it's problems, not to mention if there's more than one.

No need for any women in here to jump my case. If I fell in love with a woman it wouldn't matter if she had 10 kids. It's just not something I'm looking for.
 Jroch
Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 102
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 5/11/2005 7:37:36 AM
Normally not an issue. When we first meet, we talk about each others 'situation', and how we handle it presently. Then go from there, mutually making plans together (all involved), then one of us makes time for personal time together.

I don't offer suggestions too early, as she may not have same sentiments/beliefs as me
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 103
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:01:29 AM


I have two daughters (pics on profile) and it seems that guys who start to talk to me, don't ever call when I tell them that I have two kids. I don't know why, but I find it hurtful that a person would just not like somebody because they have kids. Guys and girls, what do you think?


Opps. Didn't realize a thread like this already existed. Here's my take:

1) Women that have kids can't go out.
2) Women that have kids can't do anything at home (ie: sex).
3) Women that have kids have their priorities on something other than me.

For a guy that's single, I want to be the most important person in my partner's life. I don't want to take a backseat to anybody.

I also want a woman that can get up and go at a moments notice without dragging a kid behind her. You have to be free to go out and do things. You need to be as free spirited as I am.

I guess I just don't see that happening.


 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 104
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:11:26 AM
1) Women that have kids can't go out

They can and do. The thing is,the GOOD 1's don't do it every weekend.
) Women that have kids can't do anything at home (ie: sex).

Why not just say exactly what you mean instead of putting it in parenthesis? The sad thing is some women do.The GOOD 1's would never have sex with someone who is not the kids father and/or to whom she is not married with kids in the house. Actually,there should be more people praising those single parents that place their children at top priority.
3) Women that have kids have their priorities on something other than me.

Thank goodness. Isn't that what the whole whine is all about? Wouldn't a balanced person have their priorities on things other than her "male friend" with or without kids anyway?
I also want a woman that can get up and go at a moments notice without dragging a kid behind her.

The good 1's don't drag kids JK
I understand where you are coming from. I am single also.Yet,I've never felt as though I NEEDED to be the #1 and/or ONLY #1 priority in all things at all times. The world never starts with me and never ends with me. I've never found single women to be unable to put me in a priority that made me feel my back was covered,simply becasue she had other responsiblities of being a mother. Single women without children can also place other things at top priority BTW.Still, it is simply a matter of prespective good or bad. Everyone has their right to choose criterea for dating,of course you are no different in that.
This is why there are Plenty of Fish
I just posted here because the post seemed to be an indirect slam on single mothers. You perspective while self centered is honest and that can truely be appreciated for what it is.

As for me,I seek a woman of high character with or without children.
 cpupro_4hire
Joined: 6/6/2005
Msg: 105
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 6/25/2005 10:18:05 AM
I wasn't trying to "slam" single moms. I just wanted to present what I thought were the issues as to why is just doesn't work out. :)
 marathonman11x7
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 106
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:35:24 PM
Marathonman, I think you're missing the point


yes, some men want those things, so what? Why should you cricitize anybody's priorities? Is he hurting anybody because that's what he's looking for?

Perhaps,I have "missed the point". The only point I noticed was "I don't date single moms because I'm into ME" in a nutshell. Why critique a post?.....the same reason you attempted to critique mine. BTW,you kinda missed my point as well. I did say:
"Still, it is simply a matter of prespective good or bad. Everyone has their right to choose criteria for dating,of course you are no different in that.
This is why there are Plenty of Fish "
 josephg
Joined: 4/19/2005
Msg: 107
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 7/14/2005 1:43:46 PM
If you love the mom, you love the kids. End of story!
 mycorosso
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 108
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 7/14/2005 8:21:52 PM
I don't H**e or even like the word for starters. Heck no! In fact I feel it's best if a woman has children when I consider carrying on or not. It isn't a "requirement", but looks good on the resume. I have children and it's important to understand that demand and priority from each person. From my perspective anyhow, for what it's worth.
 mycorosso
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 109
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 7/14/2005 10:12:33 PM
Not neccesary...you're just fine
 Needs_love8
Joined: 4/21/2014
Msg: 110
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 9/26/2014 1:37:14 PM
Well, some women, use a man to take care of their kids, I'm not that gullible, and damn 4 daughters? I bet they have 4 different fathers as well huh? sounds to me like you've got around.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 111
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:55:35 AM
[Quote]Well, some women, use a man to take care of their kids,

...while some men take advantage of single mothers by promising them love, then ****ing and leaving them, when their whole intention was to do just this. Just because a woman -- particularly a younger woman -- is a single mother isn't automatic permission to sexually harass her.

As a single woman and a mother myself, though I'm a co-parent my minor child, more than one 'gentleman' has contacted me with the intention of invading my home and leeching off what I and my children have -- and that's a safe, clean, warm home, with plenty of food.



I'm not that gullible,


And you expect single mothers to remain gullible? They have a lot more to lose, and it would behoove them to be as selective and as picky as they deem necessary; for the sake of themselves and their minor children.



and damn 4 daughters?


Have something against female children that you aren't shagging?


I bet they have 4 different fathers as well huh?


What's the difference between having adopted children and having your own children by multiple parents? The sex part is none of your business, unless you'd like to discuss how many single mothers you've shagged and possibly resultant children of which you may or may not be aware you have? See how that works?



sounds to me like you've got around.


Or you.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 112
DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 10/3/2014 5:58:19 AM

Really curious about this point.... is there any data anywhere to back it up? As in something like "single mothers get a lot less message spam every day". Sounds like a good thing to me since that seems to be the main problem with all dating sites (no limit on messages so every guy has to play it like a numbers game). ....unless it wasn't b/c the guys who spam messages never read the profile in the first place and then only realize she has kids AFTER she responds back.


They never read the profiles and they are the type who harass younger, single mothers for sex, anyway. They view single, young mothers as damaged, used, and not 'datable.' Scum of the Earth sorts these on-line harassers are.


...yeah that could be really off-putting for the single mother, I bet!


Indeed.



From a personal perspective, I've always thought that helping to raise someone else's kids would be more fullfilling as long as they weren't even more A.D.D. than I was as a kid myself. If I knew for sure that it might actually be possible to get messages through and get a conversation going with some single mothers, it's something I'd really wanna try. I have way more respect for what they're going through than I do for the Facebook dwelling hotties who keep complaining that they can't find a non-douchey Bieber clone or that they're getting all this attention from the wrong guys as if those kinds of guys aren't exactly what their pictures would most likely attract.


^^This!
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 113
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 10/20/2014 3:04:05 PM
I think this issue is over-thought of.

I will say that I don't HATE women with children. I don't think MEN in general hate them, either.

Before children enter the picture, think of what a man is actually responsible for. House, job, car...a few bills. Food...
(Food is one of the last things I ever thought of when I was in college. I ate a lot of Ramen...)

So it's possible that a man's lifestyle is just not conducive to having children in the picture and he's doing you a favor by excluding himself.

The flipside of the coin. Men often overthink the "children" situation. In my experience, you don't meet the children until SHE decides. Aside from a line on their dating profile that usually says something like 'my kids are my world' or 'my kids are my first priority', I don't really notice a huge difference between dating mothers vs. ...um...not mothers.

I've never really understood the mentality of excluding women simply because they have children. The 'ex' being in her life could be a problem, I suppose, but that's situational.

If she has kids before she met you, she shouldn't REQUIRE you to help take care of them. If things get serious, yeah, you might not want to buy the lego-lifesized-death-star, but trust me, she'll handle taking care of them up until that point.
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 114
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 10/22/2014 8:30:52 PM
I had to think about this for a minute...you're right.

I haven't dated anyone with teenage kids. I've dated some that had adult kids and some with babies....no teenagers.
That's odd and unintentional.

Thanks for the incite, I'm sure now that I've been made aware of how painful it can be, it will happen to me and be...painful...cuz life likes to teach me things that way.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 115
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DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 11/9/2014 7:25:33 AM

while some men take advantage of single mothers by promising them love, then ****ing and leaving them, when their whole intention was to do just this. Just because a woman -- particularly a younger woman -- is a single mother isn't automatic permission to sexually harass her.

As a single woman and a mother myself, though I'm a co-parent my minor child, more than one 'gentleman' has contacted me with the intention of invading my home and leeching off what I and my children have -- and that's a safe, clean, warm home, with plenty of food.


Eternity,

I certainly respect a lot of your posts and your intellectualism. But the bottom line is that a run-of-the-mill single mother of young children that doesn't want more kids, has exclusive custody and is perpetually on the razor's edge of financial straights can only really offer sexual intercourse. They have no free time for companionship and its thier own fault for being taken advantage since they are putting themselves in the dating world knowing they have nothing substantially to offer. Essentially they are looking to take advantage of a guy (prospects) when they have no prospects of there own.

You are inadvertently confirming that women (with children) provide sexual intercourse as payment of services rendered ( the guys provide love, house and home, assistance of rearing existing children) and are leaving the women without services rendered. See what you're saying?
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 116
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DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 11/11/2014 4:19:04 AM
I like the way some women make the judgment that a man who is not interested in them because they have children is morally inferior when the same man could get married and have his own family and be a good husband and father and not have to deal with her ex husband,her children that may or may not accept him,her family that may or may not approve of him....its a mistake to judge people simply because they chose people and situations that don't involve you or think that any problems or obstacles a man might face by being with you is ok because you're worth it...well,to him you may not be.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 117
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DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 11/14/2014 12:14:59 AM
It's not uncommon for men to tell their guy friends to burn the woman's phone number if they go on a date and she says she has kids. Obviously, there are men with and without kids that are comfortable dating single mothers, but not all men are. Most of the time, the mother has full custody, so it's something to think about before making a commitment.
 jrb1979
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 118
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DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 11/17/2014 9:10:37 AM
I have no problem dating a woman who has kids but I prefer one that doesn't. It more has to do with going out to do things. I find when you are dating a woman with a kids you have to plan a lot in advance in case a babysitter is needed. I have nothing against it but when you date a woman with kids you spend a lot of time hanging out at her house.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 119
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 11/17/2014 4:13:39 PM
You have pics of your kids on your dating profile?? How foolish is that!! Some men don't want to be bothering with someone' else's kids. They are entitled to that. They know that you wont be available very much, may want them to contribute financially and that the kids are your top priority. Not hard to understand.
 Yamanu
Joined: 7/9/2014
Msg: 120
Re: DO MEN HATE IT WHEN WOMEN THEY LIKE HAVE KIDS???
Posted: 11/21/2014 6:24:34 PM
I think it depends on the woman, kids and situation...but can also be vice versa.

Just be honest! I think what people don't like most is games or anything that can come across as dishonesty.

And someone who is really "into you" won't let kids ...or anything else...be a factor.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 121
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 11/24/2014 1:51:05 PM

You have pics of your kids on your dating profile?? How foolish is that!! Some men don't want to be bothering with someone' else's kids. They are entitled to that. They know that you wont be available very much, may want them to contribute financially and that the kids are your top priority. Not hard to understand.


I disagree. My girlfriend had a selfie with her kids in the background that cut part of her face off. The photo was weird and intriguing. It clearly said, take me, take my kids.

The thing is, there are men that do not mind that in a relationship. And then there are others, like me, that I wanted the whole package deal so I actually welcomed the idea of a woman with kids. So, while the kids are going to discourage a lot of men, this is good for the woman, since she will not have to waste time with guys that do not understand the package deal.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 122
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 11/24/2014 11:22:07 PM
I like intriguing photos.

Unfortunately and responsibly, I must agree with the aforementioned position that photos of children shouldn't be posted, on _dating_ sites. For serious reasons, it's dangerous and irresponsible. (To me, the absurdity has less to do with what a prospective partner my think and heavily more to do with disgusting ***holes on the site who might target the woman and her children. It is tough enough to be a parent in the dating world. If somebody doesn't want to partner with somebody who's raising children, stuff them and so what -- that goes for me, too, since I'm not inclined to date men with young, minor children.)
 yamen987
Joined: 11/10/2014
Msg: 123
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 11/25/2014 7:35:05 PM
Eternityboresme I liked your posts and agreed with all of them. Who was the a$$hole you were quoting in post 238 and 239? I tried to find those guys posts and didn't see them guess I missed them when I was looking. Single dad 1 daughter here.

To the OP I have had as many or more difficulties as any woman with kids to be honest. Not just a single dad but a custodial one as well. Spent several years with sole custody. So I know what single mothers go through and more. Been turned down by some due to being a full time father and not the weekend warrior. I would often find it ironic that a single mom would turn down a single dad but would complain about a completely single man turning them down. Although some single moms actually would actively seek a guy like me because I've been and am currently there. I think most guys who are single as in never had children and never been married don't have the experience to know the true issues of dating a woman with kids. I love kids and most kids love me. So when breaking up due to mom and me not meshing for one reason or another it creates extra issues. So I learned early on to avoid meeting children till things are more serious.

This and many other issues like the fact that I never intend on getting married have created problems. I feel like if she loves me she can love me without a piece of paper. If I can love her without it she can love me without it. So many of us have it hard. Just keep trying. :)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 124
Do men hate it when women they like have kids?
Posted: 11/29/2014 4:02:20 PM
Yes - Is the answer.

Having to deal with someone else's kids is annoying, makes dating much more difficult.
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