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 mytfineman
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 101
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She is a complete mindf*uckPage 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
You...

(regaining composure)

you deserve better than her. You can be weak and take her back and accept the chance that she'll cheat on you again or leave you again. You also take the chance that there will be no drama at all from the alternate guy she put in YOUR life by virtue of your choice to stay with her. And to get this potential misery what did you do? Love !??! Not a fair deal, Love for Misery.

like i said:

You deserve better than her. Bite your lips, deal with the heart ache, cut her off and continue with the new girl knowing she brings none of the drama of this drama queen. I say this from experience of having fallen for a girl that cheated on me, it only ended after I told her to f-ing leave me alone and cut her off. You have to be able to say that otherwise she'll use her power (your Love) over you to sidle her self into your situation.

Does new girl know about this drama with old girl? You either need to tell new girl what is going on NOW or cut old girl off NOW if you are to maintain a level of integrity in this situation as far as I can see.

Much success on your choice.
 Sumo_sumo
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 102
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 9:31:16 AM
Dude, your ex is getting her justice and you're still to p*ssywhupped by her to enjoy it.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 103
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 9:39:48 AM

but she is bearing a child that is not mine


To me that right there says it all. Move the fvck away from this woman. She needs to figure out what she did and try to get together with THE FATHER, not you. You in the other hand needs to stop being manipulated by women that now wants you so she would have a sense of stability for her baby, regardless of you. Once all this is done, she will cheat on you again.

Dude, women have two instincts. One, is to find the best genes possible to reproduce. The second is to create the most stable nest to nurture her off spring. The first and the second one, are not necessarily the same man.
 TeresaP1020
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 104
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 9:47:37 AM
Don't take her back. It's a bit convenient that "she wants you to be with her and that she loves you and you are the only one for her." Maybe she should have thought of all of that before she cheated on you and got pregnant with another man's child, got kicked out of her apartment and quit her job. Most likely, he has moved on and wants nothing to do with her or THEIR baby. You are doing fine and well on your way to healing by learning to trust this new girl. Sad but true, if you take her back, once she has had HER baby and is feeling "settled" she will again cheat on you.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 105
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 11:15:09 AM
without knowing any more details, it sounds like she's mostly wanting someone just to be there for her to provide her with a place to live and a father for the baby

and because she knows you like her, she's chosen you
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 106
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 11:33:11 AM
Jesus...it's better to be alone or with someone a bit more stable than be subjected to this kind of torment. I think the ex is after you for money to help raise her kid (which is not yours). I know you have feelings for the ex, but don't let yourself be used (again)...have some self-respect and healthy anger to protect yourself from this kind of nonsense. Tell her to lose your number, don't call you anymore.
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 107
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 11:43:12 AM

Any and all information would help me.


Knowledge alone is useless if not applied. You have all of the information. It's in the title of this thread...you wrote it. Use it.
 Ice-ey9
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 108
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 11:59:22 AM
Follow what your heart tells you, and go back to her. Don't listen to what anyone else has to say. In fact, you should give up your own room for the baby and start saving up for the kid's college fund. What kind of man do you think you are? Start by immediately giving her at least 50% of your monthly gross earnings as well.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 109
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/7/2009 12:34:37 PM
Any updates from the heartbrokenkid? Or is this just an ongoing situation?
 ripley65
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 110
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 3:23:36 AM

Any updates from the heartbrokenkid? Or is this just an ongoing situation?


Yup briar,,,,but no one ever scrolls the pages to seek out the OP's other posts! lolol


From the OP:
I have also ceased all ties with her and i clearly stated that i do not need her saying things that she probably does not mean at all.

Thank you everybody that replied. I think this kick in the rear really helped me.
 elizabethnotliz
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 111
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 4:10:11 AM
dear original poster (Heartbreakkid):
Please look up co-dependent and what that means and how dangerous it is to live that way.

You may have loved her, but she broke your heart (or as Aiden said in Sex and the City) YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get over this user. She crushed you and now is in a bind and knows you would provide her with anything she needs. Narcissistic USER biotch that she is.

If you stay with her you will cement a pattern of being manipulated and hurt by her for years to come. When something is painful it is because it is hurting you.

Codependency and Narcissists are a match..made in hell

EDITED TO ADD: that I regret that someone kept this post alive after the OP updated (thank you above poster for finding the update)and said he had moved on. I don't like to post to irrelevant threads, Sorry 'bout that. I think the advice is good however. lol
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 112
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 12:16:31 PM
Heartbroke, I just want to give you a great big hug. Letting go of someone we love is the hardest thing we'll ever have to do. I know you wish you could just go back to the way things were before. But that chapter is over, and even if you took her back, things could never be the same. How cruel of her to try to walk in and out of your life at her descretion with no thought to how these things make you feel. I think you need to step away from her and let her take responsibility for her own life. Try to get yourself disconnected from her, physically and emotionally. Focus on the things in your life that bring you joy. It will take a little time, but you will move past this. You deserve to be with someone who will love and respect you. I wish you the very best.
 Incuubus2113
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 113
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 12:21:21 PM
Get out and have sex with at least 10 different women and see if you still feel the same.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 114
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 1:37:03 PM
I understand what you're going through. You fell completely in love with someone who is emotionally unhealthy and she always will be. DO NOT GO back for the little "inch of maybe" that things will change, because more than likely your heart will get ripped again. The way to deal with this is called NO CONTACT and it is a prescribed method for dealing with sick partners with whom you are still emotionally engaged. Bar her from your phone contacts and email contacts.

I'll bet that you will be hurt by how fast she will replace you with another if you stop being available to her but in the end it is so telling. Expect her to drop into your life every few months or so to see if she can establish a "hoover" for an emotional "fix". Ignore it.
 Daisey Duke
Joined: 1/2/2009
Msg: 115
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 2:43:18 PM
oh man KEEP HER... go bad to all the crazy sh*t...let her fuk with your mind over and over .

sounds kind of sillly , doesnt it
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 116
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/8/2009 3:03:37 PM
THIS IS A DEAD THREAD PEOPLE!!

Back in MAY 2008, post 76, the OP said this...

well let me give a complete update on the situation and fill in some details that i may have left out.

I have told the girl that i am dating in the past when we started dating that i have problems with my ex. I have also told her that my ex has currently been talking to me which really offended her but honesty is the best policy for me to get over all this. I did not start dating the girl i am with until months after i was cheated on and prior to officially dating we knew each other fairly well and has helped me in the past.

Now with my ex. She is not a homeless junkie or anything of the sort. She simply was kicked out cause she could not pay rent and lives with her mom. Also the father of the child supports her fully but apparently it was not the way that she needed, hence her contacting me. I have also ceased all ties with her and i clearly stated that i do not need her saying things that she probably does not mean at all.

Thank you everybody that replied. I think this kick in the rear really helped me.
 mischief3178
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 117
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/9/2009 6:06:59 AM
sounds to me like she wants you to raise someone elses kid, don't do it dude you met someone else already she cheated her turn is over...if your with someone else stay there out of sight out of mind
 coffaga
Joined: 1/2/2009
Msg: 118
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/9/2009 8:35:38 PM
Some learn it the hard way. She made a horrible mistake and she is regretful now. You should never let her take advantage of you and there's no future for you two. If you get back together with her, will you be able to love that kid as if he/she's your own child? I don't think so. Each time you look at that kid, you'll see betrayal, infidelity. She screwed up things for good but that kid has no fault in this. Just move on. At least for the kid. She'll be fine and maybe she'll never do this mistake again in the future. You have your own life and you didn't do anything wrong. There's no point of living with somebody else's mistake. Everybody is responsible for their own actions. Stop feeling responsible for other people's faults.
 janus20
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 119
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/9/2009 11:22:58 PM
Plan B failed so now you are good enough to come back to? She is worthless piece of shit. Tell her to go **** herself.
 nan465
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 120
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/10/2009 1:32:10 AM
You're all scheduled for the Maury Povich Show in two weeks. Be there and have your insurance card handy.

Young'un.... She's using you. Plain and simple. She know's she f***'d up and she's trying to make sure that if at all possible she has a place to live with her new baby, where someone else pays the bills. This girl is trash. If you so badly want to hear someone say "I love you", then here.........

"I love you", "I love you", "I love you", "I love you", "I love you", "I love you", "I love you"

Now, does that help you see that anyone can say that they love you and not really mean it? If not, then your appointment at the next taping of the Maury Show is a go!
 Nothin2it
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 121
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:45:58 AM
If you live in Detroit, and she does to....MOVE TO MEXICO.

Seriously, "party barbie" isn't ever going to be anything more than "party barbie" until she loses ken and the barbie camper.

So you gave your heart to her....move a thousand miles away from her NOW

RUN

BEFORE YOUR HEART MAKES YOU BUY A RING...
and someone else's child
and the heartbreak of constant affairs from her
and someone else's child
and alimony
and child support
and a summer house
and a new fur coat for the winter
and a new swimming pool for the summer
and a face lift
and a boob job
and
and
and

RUN AWAY NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

p.s. I have a fold out couch, but you have to be gone in a month...




I just saw that this is a dead thread, HOWEVER I know of a guy that's going through this very situation...if you ever come across this question, ANYBODY going through the same situation...please

RUN
 chloeinny
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 122
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She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:50:21 AM
Stop talking to her all together.

When ex-boyfriend/girlfriends keep in contact with their past significant others, it only means one thing: they're keeping you on the back burner. This woman doesn't respect you because if she did she wouldn't be bending your ear night-after-night with her whining. The next time you see her number on your cellphone, for the sake of your sanity, do not pick it up.

That's all I can say.

Good Luck!
 Nothin2it
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 123
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:53:04 AM

TY Margot so this begs the question?? why do the powers that be here? NOt delete the old threads..hello!!??? anybuddy home? .................................................................................................................................................................................................................


I think that the reason some of these old threads remain might be that the questions presented are valid enough, and apply to enough people that some answers can be found by people just in reading through them. No need to post, just search the questions and read. That's the intent of forums on any website, to compile information from as many valid sources (or invalid as happens) so that decisions can be made based on a wider range of opinions than otherwise available. Redundant threats are deleted commonly if the question has already been asked elsewhere.

Just guessing.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 124
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:57:28 AM
Go to therapy and try to figure out why you are attracted to losers and not stable women. Then write a book about what happened when you either went back to her and it was a disaster, how she changed and became a marvelous woman, or how you decided to persue a relationship with a mature, responsible woman, but since she had no tolerance for men who didn't understand why she was a prize and who still talked to a loser ex girlfriend, she dumped you. Best scenario might be to figure out why you are attracted to unstable women, give yourself time to heal and work on loving yourself, then date stable women who understand the importance of being emotionally healthy.
 ohthereugo
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 125
She is a complete mindf*uck
Posted: 1/10/2009 5:59:44 AM
Well my man time to look into the future

Dont look at the present or the past .

Without her .
The future
You have a good job a good wife that loves you and supports you and three lovely kids great friends and a lovely past .oh yes and a lovely home

With Her
changed job 4 times she has one kid to u and 2 to somebody else your divorced paying child support hardly any friends and you look like shite living with a buddy .


No Brainer really
what you do today becomes the memories in the future what you did in the past

Your decision right now will alter the future

You know which path to take ..take it and smile on your walk
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