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 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 59
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I cannot relate to guys in my age bracket. I like older men. My first serious boyfriend was 16 years older than me and all my boyfriends have all been older than me. I have gone out with younger guys, but it just does not do anything for me.

Funny, because now as I get older, the younger guys are coming out all over! I went out with a guy ten years younger than me and he was so CUTE! It was like going out with a puppy. I ended up giving him advice and I wanted to tuck him in at the end of the night. I did not want to sleep with him though.
 Saler Sailor
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 60
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/15/2010 9:01:52 PM
I'm sorry hun, you're living in a fantacy world or thoese boys are just plaoin stupid. You donot look anything young at all. Don't get made when you read this, it's just live in reality baby. Counterculture and all that to the side, you're 50 and yo0u are acting it. You feel your youth slipping away and want to think your young again. That's the breaks. Enjoy what ever age you are, it doesn't mean a thing, it's only a number. Just don't give out the BS about men your age blah, blah, blah. You are not HIP. Also, don't blame it on the south.
 Ayesha40
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 61
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 4:44:08 AM
Well at least I'm realistic in my views. As a 40 year old woman I only date men 60 and up. Sorry ladies but women age quicker than men, it's a fact. Too many disolusional women on this site. How can a woman 40 and over expect to be with men their age or younger?
 PcolaSteve
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 63
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 7:04:58 AM
I can relate to people my age, but have no desire to "date" them.

I am 52 and have been mistaken for being 10 years younger, which I don't mind. You say you have had 12 to 15 dates with men in their 20's; what time span were these dates? This seems like quite a lot of dating, but it could be me as I don't enjoy dating that much.

Anyway, my few lady friends are all in their 20's and I am comfortable with this, but others look upon me as a letch. Why do women get away from the age difference but men don't?
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 64
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 7:43:35 AM
I've always been fortunate to be able to relate well to most anyone of any age .

However , when it comes to dating and mating - I seem to naturally draw those that are younger - even my friends of both genders, in general .

I find when looking for a partner , I just don't fit in so well with the grandkid junkies, the golf addicts, the habitual buffet frequenters , the afternoon nappers , the six packers ( not their muscles either ! ) etc. Those that sit around saying they're "too old to ..." , while watching their bellies grow !

And I KNOW there's plenty of exceptions - I just haven't found them so far ...
 LOSTIN60S49
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 65
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 10:29:08 AM
After reading your post I can agree with you.Women my age(& men too) often feel that being a granny(grampa) means that certain stereotypical behavior comes with the title.For instance,a lot of guys that I frequent car shows & cruise-ins with feel that turning 60 automatically means that it's time to get a riding lawn mower & they look at me like I'm nuts when I tell them I still do it by hand.I can't help it -I'm not ready for that stuff yet.So,in any event,you go girl! Don't worry what others think.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 66
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 12:40:26 PM
Nope. Nor older or younger peeps either. And never have. However, I'm deeply wary of those who contend and proclaim that age is only a number. . . . If anyone actually thinks that, they've been avoiding their life lessons assiduously, lol!

And I'd have to say the profiles of PoF reflect this more than any other sector of my life. . . . I have *never* seen so many peeps who look like they've been rode hard and put up wet way too many times proclaiming that they're younger, more active, more open, more attractive than the rest of us. . . . And wonder what their mirror sees that the camera doesn't?

Long long time ago, in my twenties, there was this wonderful poet who wrote I book of poetry that imprinted me, really. . . . It's Hard to Be Hip Over Thirty and Other Tragedies of Married Life by Viorst, Judith. Pub. Date: 1968. It was true then, even truer now :grin: *She* grew up, finished raising her family, became a shrink and wrote a wonderful book on grieving. Someone who didn't cling to her teenaged self in desperation, nor join the crowd on the barge poling down the banks of de Nile. . . .

Guess I feel sad that so many wish to live the lives they should have already experienced; live them over and over as if caught in a time machine, instead of growing, learning the next new thing to be learned. . .

Live long and prosper kiddles!
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 67
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 4:44:18 PM
I don't have any problems relating to someone my age, or younger, or older. I have varied interests and enjoy many activities. Though I have noticed the really younger have a hard time getting off the couch away from the TV or computer games. It isn't the age, it's the individual.
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 68
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 7:42:41 PM
How I relate to someone has nothing to do with their age. It has to do with their outlook on life, their awareness of self and others, their priorities, their ability to connect, their desire to share the journey, their willingness to be real.

It really has nothing to do with age. Age is nothing more than a number. I don't give a damn about age. Ageism is the same as sexism and racism. It's an irrelevant circumstantial prejudice.
 DeliveryRN
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 69
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/16/2010 10:16:17 PM
I relate well with people of all ages. They all have their own special wisdom. I prefer to date men my age or older. I have age blocks in my profile that exclude much younger men.
I am not the least bit stuck in a rut. And the truth be known the most passionate, exciting and fun men I have dated were in their early 60's. They had vast wisdom and experience. Both possessed an extremely youthful approaches to life.
Grandma's and Grandpa's just ain't what they used to be.
To the OP. live and let live, if it works for you, go for it.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 70
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 12:19:39 AM
i agree wooby. vorst also wrote an interesting book on marriage. the milfers, filfers, cougars and lechers are all around, bragging and advertising. the ones who protest too much against their peers are usually the saddest. the other day i was at a dance venue, where a collegue was hitting on some young boys and vice versa. one came over to "shake my hand". i just wanted to smack him. i thought of my son. others were flattered. i just shook my head. i give up. to each his/her own.

sure, nine out of ten-twenty people you meet are "NOT" going to be even close to being "the one". the older, the wiser? or are people that much more desperate? it just seems to me, that most adult people who are reasonably attractive and well groomed and have something to offer, can find equally attractive, potential mates within 5-10 years of similar age. those who are geographically challenged will just have to widen their search radius, get creative and off their couches.

sure, it "may" happen otherwise and be "true love" or it may take you longer. but, to state that ONLY young men or women are attracted to you, or vice versa, tells much more about someone's IQ than how knockout, gorgeous they are. just about any woman of reasonable stature today can pick up a young ditzy male in a bar. it's fashionable. but, who the h-ll wants to?

sorry, hearing people boast about it, is indeed getting "old".
 *LadyLinda*
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 71
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 3:35:18 AM
I had a situation recently where I was at a public event and one of the guys who I knew when I was 18 approached my family and I...my mom thought he was a potential date since they had known him for so long and he appeared interested in catching up.....but all I saw was an old man......both the way he was talking about his health issues and what he enjoyed doing.
Might be...and as my mom so nicely put it....that I am having difficulty accepting my age because inside I don't feel my age.....translating to not being attracted to men my age....both physically and mentally.
I tend to scare them off when I start talking about the types of hobbies I have and the kind of work I do on my farm.
Personally...don't want the conversation to be about health issues....grandchildren issues....etc.
When you can still do things rather than watch them being done....why not participate....but many people my age do not still participate but rather watch....that is where I have difficulty relating to those my age.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 72
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 3:46:05 AM

i agree wooby. vorst also wrote an interesting book on marriage. the milfers, filfers, cougars and lechers are all around, bragging and advertising. the ones who protest too much against their peers are usually the saddest. the other day i was at a dance venue, where a collegue was hitting on some young boys and vice versa. one came over to "shake my hand". i just wanted to smack him. i thought of my son. others were flattered. i just shook my head. i give up. to each his/her own.


I have now been here about a year and have found my opinions have changed a whole lot..
Still do not know what milfers and filfers are but do know what cougars and lechers are..

Really have a problem with the cougar label since it is often not the women doing the chasing but rather the young gentlemen. However if someone wishes to label me that if I happen to date a man more than 10 years my junior so be it!!!

My children certainly do not and in fact they encourage it. They do not think I should be dating a man my age.. But the main thing is I am comfortable with it and if there was anyone in my own age bracket that suited me just as well I would also date them.

Not a boast just a toast to reality..It really says nothing about one's IQ but rather speaks to one's lifestyle IMHO
thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 74
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 4:53:35 AM
Far as I can see, anybody over the age of 21 is an adult and while the younger ones certainly have a way to go in life before getting to the same kind of mental state as those in this age group, there is no particular reason to consider age when deciding on relationships.

In this age category there are a lot of typical characteristics: Children have come along, divorce has come along, the time for Olympic tryouts is long gone, raw physical attractiveness is on the wane, and habits, tastes and activities have usually moved beyond spending all night in the disco. Most of us are pretty much alike and in more or less the same boat.

That said, I see a lot of stuff on these forums that is oriented towards some kind of denial of who we are. On the other hand, I, like I suspect most of us, actually live most of our social lives with people in a rather broad age category bracketing our own age. Those who are still working likely spend their days with other adults of all ages. Some of us do specific activities with adults who are much younger, or older, and think nothing about it.

The specific issue of a sexual partner, something that in most cases takes up a relatively minor amount of time in life, is here magnified way beyond due. Of course you all don't have trouble relating to people your own age! If you really do, its because you have trouble relating to people of any age.

If you are having a good time with any adult, and they are having a good time with you, do for it. That is entirely normal, and probably something you do daily anyhow. Live with who you get along with. The only certain thing is that it will change.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 75
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 6:11:16 AM

The specific issue of a sexual partner, something that in most cases takes up a relatively minor amount of time in life, is here magnified way beyond due. Of course you all don't have trouble relating to people your own age! If you really do, its because you have trouble relating to people of any age.


How we relate to people is usually through common interests or experiences we both might share.. That is a good starting point in my books.. Experiences probably easier shared with people around my own age.. common interests more easily shared with those younger than myself. There are very few my age that have like interests, and most of them are female.. Since I live in the now, common interests are more my focus... That is because in fact that is what I am enjoying now. Past experiences have passed and my eyes are focused forward.

thecatsmeoww
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 77
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 9:13:37 AM
No, I don't have this problem. I have always been able to relate to people---all types--all ages. I've never seen a real divide for me along age; as I tend to form interest in people in how they relate and share in what I'm into doing or activities. I find it hard to understand why someone would have a problem with relating to people who are in their general age group; as an age band is rather inclusive in span.

There have been a few times in my life where I've been struck by someone to the point where I can't believe that I'm in the middle of some fantastic connection and conversation with a person...and sometimes I've had a tinge or two of regret that the person I'm really clicking with is either quite older or younger than me...and it's all really kind of a shame. There's a sense of a kind of missed opportunity around it, because the 'clicking' that's happening and the interest that's percolating is around dating...but I feel it wouldn't be right to go there. I'm not one to date very young men, or men that are significantly older than me, and I do not go out of my way to encourage them. I have a kind of personal comfort zone for dating relationships that works for me and it's been around 10 - 15 year span of whatever age I am.
 ColumbiaSingle
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 79
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/17/2010 11:39:30 AM
Must be the South as I almost get the same thing but not quite as young. Seems men my age want younger women and you know what? I am not really bothered by that anymore - each to their own.

I used to be really hung up on only dating my age (lots of pressure to find someone my own age to date - once again the South and its own stupid gender rules and regulations) until I spent two years without a date. Now, your age is not my issue, as long as my age is not your issue.

Be happy you have men interested in you and pay no attention to their age (as long as they are legal) Beats not dating at all, at least here in the South.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 80
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/19/2010 12:30:48 AM
I have trouble relating to some people my own age, and usually wind up not associating with them very much as a result. I pretty much think the same way, and do the same things I did twenty years ago. I have no interest in discussing grandchildren, retirement plans, age related medical issues, and such. Nor do I want to wake up at six a.m. and go through the day doing everything early, and wind up going to the senior's early bird specials at buffet restaurants at 4 p.m.. I also find it weird that some people think that they must 'act their age'; women who wear oddball grandma outfits, cut all their hair off, etc.. Guys who start pulling their pants up past their belly button just are weird, and probably were when they were younger as well.
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 81
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/19/2010 1:52:26 AM
widowinloveagain wrote:

<div class="quote">Who remembers transistor radios. Someone in their 20s or 30s has had such a different life experience I don't think I could relate. Now if all you seek is sex, more power too you, but I want more than that.

Wow...so if I don't want to live in the past and recall what grade I was in when Kennedy was shot then all I seek is sex? Interesting perspective.....I guess?!

Actually I'm far more interested in living today rather than recalling ancient history and trying to place myself in it. Who cares about Kennedy - he's dead! Relating to someone is about the now not some half remembered distant past. I want more than that...much more.

Your post actually helped me understand why I seek and enjoy the company of a younger crowd. They tend to talk about what we did today and what we'll do tomorrow.
 A Religion Of One
Joined: 3/4/2010
Msg: 84
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/19/2010 8:48:44 PM
I have no problem relating to people of any age. I'm not an age challenged in my relating. That would make life kind of boring, cutting out whole segments of the population from your relating.
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 85
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/19/2010 9:47:07 PM
To each his own indeed.

I'll take the Now.....it seems to serve me well. I have no prejudice against any age. But I have absolutely no interest in sitting around the fire and re-living the past. I'll have time to do that when I'm dead.

I know where I come from but I'm more interested in where I'm going. On that note - it's generally younger people who have a similar outlook but certainly not exclusively (which is refreshing).

What anyone else wants to do is entirely their concern......best however that they evaluate their own motives rather than judging that of others.
 MaccaFan
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 86
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/20/2010 5:59:04 AM
Yes, I do.
It seems people my age are fascinated with their illnesses, surgeries, aches and pains.
Many wear them like a badge of honor.....
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 87
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/20/2010 8:03:58 AM
Relating to them no, finding them yes, now therein lies the problem..
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 90
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/20/2010 4:47:16 PM
From some of the comments here it appears that some people may think ignoring your age is living in some kind of delusional denial. I guess the ironic thing is that I would say, putting so much emphasis on your age is delusional denial.

Why is age even an "issue" ?

Oh well....as has been said - to each his / her own :-)
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 93
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:11:56 AM

but hopefully the person is on the same page...do not be with somebody who does not have children it is not fair to them and to you


Interesting to note.. Usually I do not date men that are more than 10 years younger than I am.. On one or two instances I did. When I stated what you just did to them their reply was they did not want any children. In fact it was one of the reasons they stated as to why they liked to date women that were older.. No children still underfoot that they might well find with a woman in their own age bracket.

thecatsmeoww
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