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 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 81
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
widowinloveagain wrote:

<div class="quote">Who remembers transistor radios. Someone in their 20s or 30s has had such a different life experience I don't think I could relate. Now if all you seek is sex, more power too you, but I want more than that.

Wow...so if I don't want to live in the past and recall what grade I was in when Kennedy was shot then all I seek is sex? Interesting perspective.....I guess?!

Actually I'm far more interested in living today rather than recalling ancient history and trying to place myself in it. Who cares about Kennedy - he's dead! Relating to someone is about the now not some half remembered distant past. I want more than that...much more.

Your post actually helped me understand why I seek and enjoy the company of a younger crowd. They tend to talk about what we did today and what we'll do tomorrow.
 A Religion Of One
Joined: 3/4/2010
Msg: 84
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/19/2010 8:48:44 PM
I have no problem relating to people of any age. I'm not an age challenged in my relating. That would make life kind of boring, cutting out whole segments of the population from your relating.
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 85
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/19/2010 9:47:07 PM
To each his own indeed.

I'll take the Now.....it seems to serve me well. I have no prejudice against any age. But I have absolutely no interest in sitting around the fire and re-living the past. I'll have time to do that when I'm dead.

I know where I come from but I'm more interested in where I'm going. On that note - it's generally younger people who have a similar outlook but certainly not exclusively (which is refreshing).

What anyone else wants to do is entirely their concern......best however that they evaluate their own motives rather than judging that of others.
 MaccaFan
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 86
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/20/2010 5:59:04 AM
Yes, I do.
It seems people my age are fascinated with their illnesses, surgeries, aches and pains.
Many wear them like a badge of honor.....
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 87
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/20/2010 8:03:58 AM
Relating to them no, finding them yes, now therein lies the problem..
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 90
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/20/2010 4:47:16 PM
From some of the comments here it appears that some people may think ignoring your age is living in some kind of delusional denial. I guess the ironic thing is that I would say, putting so much emphasis on your age is delusional denial.

Why is age even an "issue" ?

Oh well....as has been said - to each his / her own :-)
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 93
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:11:56 AM

but hopefully the person is on the same page...do not be with somebody who does not have children it is not fair to them and to you


Interesting to note.. Usually I do not date men that are more than 10 years younger than I am.. On one or two instances I did. When I stated what you just did to them their reply was they did not want any children. In fact it was one of the reasons they stated as to why they liked to date women that were older.. No children still underfoot that they might well find with a woman in their own age bracket.

thecatsmeoww
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 94
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:17:06 AM

do not be with somebody who does not have children
it is not fair to them and to you
Some younger men don't want children. So fair, um I think that is a personal choice. I can still have children, but do not want any more. The guy I have been seeing for about a year and a half is 39 and has never had any natural children or adopted any.

I have been working with people that are 37 and younger for about 5 weeks. I am the "grandmother" of the group (no I don't have any grandchildren in real life). Two of the women I am closest to are 20 and 31. They don't look at me oddly, they accept me for the person I am and I accept them for the people they are. Not sure I would hang with them outside of work, probably not, but inside of work, we get along great.

Look at people as people, don't be so hung up on age. 30 years older means they have more experience in some things, 30 years younger means they have less experience in some things. But we are all people with different experiences and lives. It isn't our age that makes us who we are, it is just one of the many pieces of our whole.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 97
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/22/2010 8:33:21 AM
Goodness......

If you like her and she like you, why not go for it? Age is nothing to worry about. You don't have to worry about the future, as when it
arrives, you can decide what you want to do about it. Deciding now is deciding about something that may never happen. She may date you for a day, a week or 20 years. You don't know. All you are doing is creating unhappiness for you and her based on assumptions
you have about the future.

If you are looking for support on the "age differences are bad, naughty, perverted,...etc", you will find a wealth of support on the forums. A simpler solution is just to say "really, I think you are wonderful, but I prefer an older woman for a girlfriend", and start having coffee regularly with your maiden aunt, or something. Otherwise, you are kicking yourself in the head for absolutely no reason and to absolutely no benefit.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 98
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/22/2010 8:53:30 AM
I know what you are talking about, it is so hard to find men in their 40s and over that aren't tired old men. I seem to draw the younger men too and that's alright with me, although it would be nice to find just one man my own age that hasn't resigned himself to the rocking chair!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 99
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/22/2010 11:15:32 AM

Did I mention I have a S/O


Duh.....what a non-problem. Just show up with the SO regularly. Only the seriously insane out there won't take that kind of a hint!

 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 100
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:31:46 PM
...re tired old men...
I know exactly what you mean. The relating to people for me anyway has been about finding someone who is similar to me in energy, curiosity and enthusiasm. We don't have to share the same interests, but having someone that prefers to keep the rocker at bay for just a few more years is the ideal.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 101
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/22/2010 12:48:20 PM

To bad, you won't be there. You could maybe learn a thing or two still -at your age.


Talk about having trouble relating to people one's own age......

One thing I don't have trouble with is relating to the ladies.....

(Just SOME ladies......)
 Smileatyou2
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 102
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/23/2010 9:57:11 AM
Hello slowredwhisper,
sorry that I don't have any advice to offer, but thought it might encourage you to know that there are others out feeling the same.
I can completely relate - you pretty much described my experiences.

Adding one: when you go on dating sites where you are matched only and can't search yourself, they will match you with people your age! In itself this would be wonderful if they would not think that it is the only criteria

Hope you are not giving up but having fun waiting for the right one
:)
 treselle
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 103
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/23/2010 10:19:05 AM
I met 2 men over 40 who were not tired old men. The first, a 60 year old was very fit, very attractive, very funny, very intelligent. But as soon as on the second date he had to share with me:" You can not imagine how it feels to be invisible to girls in their 20s..." I saw tears in his eyes. Another guy was 1 1/2 younger, a high-school teacher, unattractive, 5'6". Once he was looking into my eyes while saying:" I am old and ugly...." He was so sad. Because he could not get young girls any more. Could not stop talking about: "I love 8th graders....the girls are sooooo cute. Many do not have boyfriends, some even fathers - they are starving for male attention. I was cute to them, many had crash on me." He wished. And both acted like teenagers. Mo maturity at all!
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 106
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 3/23/2010 4:43:29 PM
^ Reminds me of my Mom making sure she cooked healthy meals for my Dad. Meanwhile, Dad had cans of peanuts, etc, stashed away in his car.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 108
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/3/2010 7:01:53 AM

I am one of those people who was never told I was adopted. In my late teens I realized something wasn't right. I went through all kinds of hell because I was seeing something in the music I was listening to that no-one else seem to see


I am really sorry to hear your parents never told you that you were adopted.. You see I was also adopted as a young baby.. However after it was told to me it was not to be discussed again..


I started digging into my birth and found no record of my birth at the hosptal I was born at. There was a friend of my parents who was an obstetrician at that hospital, who signed my Birth certificate, plus I found family photos showing my my Mom was not pregnant around the time I was born, leading to the conclusion that the lady was indeed my birth mother and that I was adopted.


How you got to the above conclusion really does surprise me.. Even in private adoptions there are records of them. What you may find false is the fact you were not born on the day you think you were or at the hospital stated.. This sounds to me like a private adoption. Get the courts to unseal the records if you can..

Remember if you are in fact adopted there is a triad... a missing piece of your life. I went in pursuit of finding mine after my mother passed on. I did not wish to do this is her lifetime simply because I worried this may have cause her some pain. But I wanted to know my heritage ..

Good luck on finding your missing pieces

Always remember this as an adoptee
One gave you life
The other gave you love

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 109
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/3/2010 7:28:00 AM

At age 45 I stumbled upon a lady in her late 60's on the internet who was so much like me and saw so many coincidences between us, that the only category I could put her in was "Mom". Then I started communicating with her and she started communicating back in a really strange way because she is famous and does not want the wolves to make things worse than they already are. She was in the music biz so my life started making sense.


Are your parents still alive if so get a DNA sample from one of them. You can do this by simply picking up a cup that they just drank from. If both of them have passed on do have a brother or sister get their DNA see if it shows you are related. If that shows no match then get one from this woman you for some reason you believe is your birth mother?????

You want to find out this is really easy to do the more I thought about it. I knew I was adopted you are not sure if you are ..

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 113
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/3/2010 10:54:41 AM

I was advised against it while they are both still alive.


I understand but do try and get a hairbrush and drop it in a plastic bag and save it.. I gather you have no brothers or sisters..

Now how about the woman who you believe to be your birth mother.. I am assuming you have some kind of relationship and that she would like to know as well.. Perhaps she would be willing to provide you with a sample of hers privately..

By the way staying on topic have you joined any adoption support groups that might have people around your age that you might well relate to?

thecatsmeoww
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 114
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/3/2010 11:40:55 AM
Unfortunately, the problem I find with older men is that they just don't care if they're with someone or not. They tend to just "let it happen....or not". Older age happens to everyone, it's your attitude that makes the difference.

 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 115
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/4/2010 9:23:40 PM

Making the club scene itself has nothing to do age - I thought clubbing sucked when I was thirty. Vapid conversation, shallow idiots and nasty vibes.

That's the way I see it too, and I'm 30. Are you my future self?


I went out with a guy ten years younger than me and he was so CUTE! It was like going out with a puppy.

Funny you phrase it that way, because that's what young women want. Puppies. Or dogs, certainly (look at women's profiles 20-35, count the "love dogs"). That's why in my case, if some girl's profile has a photo of her dog only, or of her cradling her dog(s) like baby - next. Real relationships take real work, you can substitute a pet for a baby in some ways, but substituting a pet for a man and then expecting a man to behave like a pet? No thanks...

I was surprised at all the nonsense slung at OP. Both my most wonderful relatioships have been with women in their 50's. More than anything the roots were enjoying each other's company and having real trust and understanding of each other... still good friends with both to this day (yes, those were "short-term" relationships <2 years and recognized as such since the beginning. Turns out we were adults that can make adult decisions).

I get along better with mature women. That's why I also tend to get along better with older women. Girls my age, if I speak with them it's like they think I'm trying to get them to cheat on their cell phones with me. Of course, that's me, with Mr. Hot they turn into Sweetness in a split-second. I'm not even interested in most women my age, but it's just so blatant that I get discouraged from even attempting to establish a conversation, much less a friendship. Older women don't behave like that. So yes, there are plenty good reason why younger guys might go for older women, and sometimes they don't have to do with superficial criteria at all.

And as for older men, plenty of them are still behaving like stereotypical 20-yr olds - trying to get into a woman's pants, no commitment, all about him, never a surprise or romantic detail, not interested in what she has to say, etc etc. So I hear from my ex's, might want to pay attention guys...
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 116
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/5/2010 1:58:55 PM
I don't think anyone should be stereotyped.

For a year and a half I have been seeing a man that is 10 years younger. I don't see him as a puppy. He is just as mature etc. as I am and has more gray hairs...

At work I choose to sit next to, and she chooses to sit next to me, a 20 year old. She and I get along great. Always can talk and laugh. It helps the evenings go by faster. I wait to walk out with her or she waits for me.

I have friends that are older and friends that are younger. It is the person, not their age, that makes them who they are.
 sosdd
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 117
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/5/2010 3:59:23 PM
My response was because of the reference to a puppy dog...10 years younger male above my post. However since you wished to say something about age differences; I am 49, my ex husband will be 61 next month. We were together for about 20 something years. I repeat, it is the person not their age.

A friend isn't an age. A friend is a person you bond with. They are different than people you fall in love with. It is a friendship and we have many through out our lives, or at least in my experience I have had many friends of many different ages. I lost a 70 year old friend last year, I knew her 35 years. Yeah, I'd say I have enough experience to talk about age differences.
 tjrogelio
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 118
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Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/5/2010 6:45:58 PM
Older women with younger men....
Older men with younger women...

Sounds like a plan!
 PregnantLady
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 121
Does anyone else have trouble relating to people their own age?
Posted: 4/30/2010 8:42:55 AM
In answer to your question yes I do have trouble relating to people my age. I was never the party type and didn't drink, smoke, cuss. I have always been more comfortable talking to people 10-20 years older than me because they usually had their lives more together and were past all that party stuff.
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