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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?      Home login  
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 BlaqButterfly27
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 1
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?Page 1 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
This question is a comeback question to all of the men who keep asking the eternal question, "why do women overlook good men?" and so on and so forth. I have heard it a million times before and I have sympathized many times providing the best advice I could give. However, I would like to know "why is it that men overlook good women?" Because remember, the question {and the situation} goes both ways. I know "good men" who also have issues in their closet and have a hard time holding on to a good woman due to their own issues. So let's talk about that.
 AustinTyler
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 2
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:37:42 PM
Lust!!! No big ole cosmic reason.

Lust is nothing more than deception of what they THINK they want. Yet they complain months to years after that they keep getting the wrong kind of girls. HE picked the girl lol!

Learn a way to get the man to look past the lust and see you for yourself.

Thats the answer to your question. Yes, it is always simple when you know all the real answers:D I am wise beyond my years!!!
 bob2013
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 2:52:08 PM
There seem to be very many reasons. First you must look at the fact that there are probably 7 men to every woman on any dating site. A number of these I would think to be 20% are player types. There would seem to be more of these because some learn to blast emails. So 1 player can contact 150 women multiple times maybe 5 or more times a week. While you may ignore them if 10 players do it that's 50 emails to deal with. Next women are better at dealing with the end of a relationship. They will stop mourn the passing and reflect on what went wrong, men will try and stuff their emotions and any baggage they might take away making them not ready to move on. Still they want a woman in their lives so they start dating right away and most will fail miserably. In addition some have deep financial issues from the divorce and find themselves not solvent to be in a relationship. While these are not all the reasons it will constitute a larger number of men when viewed in the ratio of 7 to 1. So early contact here may make a good woman feel there is nothing of quality out there. Men will contact her and then disappear when their emotions or financial hardships hit home. Let's not forget many of us both men and women bring demands to second and third relationships, things that they believe or were missing in earlier couplings. These bring a level of stress to the new budding romance. In the end though, there are many good men looking for good women and therein lies some of the issue. 1. finding each other with that many other suitors chasing that woman, 2. How many come here(and I'm sure there is larger number than you would think) meet a man or woman, start a relationship and simply leave without a word. I suppose you could boil it down to attraction, but I believe there are multiple partners out there for everyone. It is the bumps in the road that make it hard to navigate. Most of what I said can be seen in the daily posts in these forums. Just my 2 cents, Bob
 Yesterdays Hero
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 4
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 3:07:05 PM

This question is a comeback question to all of the men who keep asking the eternal question, "why do women overlook good men?" and so on and so forth. I have heard it a million times before and I have sympathized many times providing the best advice I could give. However, I would like to know "why is it that men overlook good women?" Because remember, the question {and the situation} goes both ways. I know "good men" who also have issues in their closet and have a hard time holding on to a good woman due to their own issues. So let's talk about that.


This question is a comeback question to all of the women who keep asking the eternal question, "why do men overlook good women?" and so on and so forth. I have heard it a million times before and I have sympathized many times providing the best advice I could give. However, I would like to know "why is it that women overlook good men?" Because remember, the question {and the situation} goes both ways. I know "good women" who also have issues in their closet and have a hard time holding on to a good man due to their own issues. So let's talk about that.

Notice the difference? Notice the similarity?
 BlaqButterfly27
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 5
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/20/2008 6:14:48 PM
Hey there,

It's me, BlaqButterFly. Just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to post a comment. I enjoy reading what everyone has to say b/c I find it to be very interesting and intellectually stimulating. Keep em' coming!
 Studio289
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 6
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:29:57 PM
It depends on how you look. Men are visual beings FIRST... Then we look at other tin gs. When are you going to get it???
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 7
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:44:23 PM
Very simple; most people are more into the looks than anything else. I see thousands who want only the best looking person; men or women; thats why the broken hearts section is full with break ups.
 mr internet
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 8
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:47:22 PM
The problem with women is they imagine a relationship, and to have one they need a man, but it's not a man they want; they want a relationship. There are men by the zillions right and left, eager to love women. Women do not want men, they want relationships.

The man says to the woman, I want you! And the woman replies, go away you pig, I am looking for a relationship!
 Jim33903
Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 9
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:52:36 PM
First, who is to describe what a good woman is? .............What do you mean by "good woman" moral values, religious values, or what "good" thing about her do you mean?

What I would consider a good woman is one that is good for me and good to me.
She may be not be considered a good woman to the some or many.... But for me...she is a good woman.

I am sure there are women that would not consider me a "good man". I may not match their values, interests, desires, and wants and needs. I may not be either the age or physical specimen a woman considers a good man. And that's OK. Because I know I am a good man....based on my own set of values, ethics, honor and morals.

I would bet Clyde thought Bonny was a good woman....to each their own.
 GREENEYES269
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 11
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:36:17 PM
It is really simple. We are to the point that every one belives that thoes that sound to good to be true probably are. to many times we are hurt and the next one we meet clicks a switch in the back of the head. That says what are they up to . We have seen to many people hurt by people or been hurt ourselves. and the cant trust issue is there most are'nt bad but get hurt bad enough and all of a sudden all the oppsit sex are bad. you know all guys are dogs or all women are golddiggers and other things we call each other. After you have been hurt you trust no one for a while then you still have it there what are they up to . The bad thing is that person might not be bad but because of the past we still don't trust. I say give them the bennefit of the dought that might be the One for you. Its like food you never know till you try it if you get a fresh fruit or a bad apple. GOOD LUCK
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 12
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History
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:46:02 PM

It depends on how you look. Men are visual beings FIRST

And women aren't? Both men and women are equally visual, we all tend to look a the person, most people that is, and then decide whether or not they want to try to get to know the person, kinda sad too, might be passing up a chance to get to know a great person if they don't measure up in the looks department. I tend to be willing to get to know nearly anyone as long as they are willing to allow me to do so.
 Ms.Classy
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 13
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:58:05 PM
I don't think ALL men overlook good women. That said, I do believe that it has something to do with them and not the other party.

Perhaps its a self-esteem issue where they don't think highly of themselves and to have someone reaffirm same keeps them coming back for more abuse.

I say get off the emotional roller coaster, if a man cannot appreciate a good woman entering his life then and there, than why throw your pearls at swines?
 sarasotagal76
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 14
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:17:01 PM
I do not really think that great guys who are ready for dating do overlook good women. I would say relatively few indeed have very major issues that will block them from persuing a good woman. Of course there have to be a physical spark.
 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 15
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:27:19 PM
Would someone please define "good woman"? I have dated many different kinds of women, and many believe themselves to be 'good" when in fact they are all the same. They are all pretty much control freaks, they are always right, and it is always the man's fault. Some are just nicer about it than others. I would love to be proven wrong, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
 JamesP166
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 16
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History
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:27:40 PM
Women are complex being driven by their bodies desires and controlled by what society says is proper

they know that the good guy will not push them into making love and when he does - - he will not push her to limits she has not achieved before

While the other guy - lets it be known - - if you want to be with me - - here are the rules - - instead of her setting the rules - - - and when they make love - - he pushes her to new and different limits and makes it more exciting and consuming - - -

So it becomes a balancing act of wants and desires - - - that different women handle in different ways - - - - -

She is not simply after a good home, a provider but wants the passions and excitements that can occur - - - so complex aspects that in many cases she does not even understand.

Jim P.
 Calray
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 17
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:28:37 PM
Because they're so few and far between that we don't know what we're looking at when we see one.
 freespirit1970
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 18
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:36:14 PM
well mabey for you, your the pretty boy type!!! youll be stuck like that for ever untill you age and your a lonely solider
 TORRIC2007
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 19
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 10:54:57 AM
Great post! I would have to agree that its the LOOKS...
Some guys will put up with a girls crap cause she is "HOT" and that makes us "average" looking women "expendable" IMHO. But its not just the men its us women too (raises hand) GUILTY! I too have been known and prown to go for the "dark hair light eyes, Gerard Butler smile" . I think not such a big deal to be into looks but we all must admit that ultimatley (msp) we want the on that makes us weak in the knee and give us butterflies in the stomach and listens to us go on and on about our bad hair day..lol
So in the end the "good heart" or the "good man" or 'woman" prevails....Remember:
Tommy Lee-got tired of Pam Anderson
Ben Affleck-got tired of JLO
So looks don't always yield to what the heart wants...

Tori
 noorct185
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 20
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:09:25 PM
The easy answer is that a lot of "nice" girls are the ones who had to be nice growing up to get by. Hot girls and guys are inherently handed things and expect people to bow to their whims, and that continues later in life. Those are the profiles here with hot pictures and barely any text. Why bother writing about your hopes and dreams when the girl is already getting 100s of emails in a given day?

So I think when you're describing "good girls" you are probably describing a subset who grew up with average looks and learned how to communicate and compromise with people.

I think your point makes a lot of sense, but at the same time this is online dating. People post pictures for a reason, and guys like to be with the most attractive girl they possibly can. I'm not sure how much of that is biological, how much is cultural, and how much is personal preference.

I will say I've ended up dating people who I didn't think were physically attractive initially because after getting to know them I saw how awesome they were. It's just hard to get to know someone online the same way when the initial reaction to the picture is "pass"
 Bright Delight 4 U
Joined: 12/29/2004
Msg: 21
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Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:17:32 PM
Given the chance of it happening,......No way would I overlook a good woman.
I'm not picky, so I'm e-z when it comes to looks. Other items are more important.
To me; a 'good looking woman' covers 90% of the women on here.
I have no problem with almost any 'type' of lady.
If more ladies were to contact me, they'd find out what a good man is, and be treated like a lady ought to be. I'm flexible about how she likes to be treated, so I can, and will accomadate the best I am able.

====================================
I'm not sure how this gets interpreted; but here I go.
When it comes to the bottom line:
This is what I consider as a 'deal breaker' right from the start, when I am 'checking out' a lady...............;
'Will I be happy, or grossed out, when I wake up in the morning and have a fresh look at 'her' sleeping. '

This is very rare, and only happened once when I was real drunk.
Looking at her through a terrific hang-over was quite unsettling.
 dogs rule
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 22
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:31:37 PM
What are you considering a good woman? I would like to think most of the women I have met in my life are good women. Some of them/ or all of them were crazy but most of them were good women.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 23
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:33:16 PM
1) Define a "good woman"
2) Good for what?
3) Good for whom?

 degostyle
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 24
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/22/2008 11:52:53 PM
Regardless of what anyones responce is for a good man or woman, not everyone will agree and it will continue till the end of time. It will never change. Look at me. I know im a good person, but people will think different just by looking at my pic. Its never going to change so theres no point in arguing it
 Masked_Hero
Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 25
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:02:41 AM
^^^ Very well put by Noorct.... Online dating is defenatly ALL about looks.. In real life you meet someone you can be drawn to a person on how they carry themself, the vibe you get from them, maybe they have a great since of humor or you feel very comfotable being around that pereson.. Online though you just have a few pics and in a lot of cases ( at least on women profiles) a list of do's and dont's and must haves.. Maybe a profile may say Must not be look'n for.... or must be this height... must be this skin color.. this hair color... this eye color... Love Jesus... love kids... love dogs... Where as in real life we don't walk around with that long list of things in our hand and exchange list when we meet each other. There have been numerous times where I'd be chill'n in the club with my boy's and a chick comes up to me " Hey I your such and such, I seen you on the net" and its a whole new ball game when your talk'n in real life. Your no longer the "Creepy guy on the internet"

As far as overlooking the "Good" guy or girl... Im not quite sure what that is.. If I learned one thing from the internet its that ALL beautiful people are precived to be EVIL, BAD or RETARDS.. LOL All I ever hear on this site is how the sexy guy is just a dog that gets all the women... and the Sexy girls are just Brainless women with no social skills. One of the biggest Players I know is a Big ugly asss dude with a voice like Mickey Mouse LOL Its on UNREAL and you wouldn't belive it unless you seen it with your own eyes. I've met some georgeous women in my life time who were extreemly smart. Shyt I drive down the road 8 min from my house and see georgeous women on the USF campus all the time.. I think that if people kept more of an open mind about things and didn't generalize and sterotype so much, a lot less "Good" people would be over looked
 crayonzz
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 26
Why Do Men Overlook Good Women?
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:19:37 AM
They don't! And good women arent paticularily rare either. It's just that they are all happily married.
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