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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?      Home login  
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 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 1
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I almost met someone off of here who didn't want to ever get married again and of course, that is my ultimate goal, to have a life partner. So I didn't want to get into a FWB or casual sexual relationship and discovered another option, sensual friendship. I didn't realize there was such a thing and I wondered if anyone had attempted it and if it was difficult to abstain from sex. Apparently, you can do everything else but intercourse. I thought it was an interesting alternate, kind of like a FWSB (friends with some benefits). Would you be able to do this without getting too attached? I found the idea very arousing, even more so than sex itself.
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 2
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:07:37 PM
I look at it at least from the physical side as more sultry stroking of my partners body, kind of what you would experience in a sensual massage. I think that's what got me so excited. I like to do that if I wake up in the wee hours of the morning. You're in a drousy dreamy state of passion, sultry, slow, steamy...



But I also thought about what it would mean if that real special someone came along. Would I have to end the sensual relationship totally and lose out in that close friendship. My theory was that I would have to break up with the other person and stay apart until we were over each other completely and possibly return to a platonics friendship. Not sure if that's possible.
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 3
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:29:35 PM
I know sex has a powerful almost magnet pull but do you think it has become too much the focus of our love lives? I guess I have lived more for the foreplay aspect than the intercourse portion. Certainly foreplay can last indefinitely while neither partner can withstand the other without eventually tiring and worse getting very sore. But staying in the sensual zone could be done at any time for any length of time, although one would wonder if one could take it for very long. I personally have engaged in 24-36 hours of it but whether I could sustain that as the sole physical interaction would be an interesting challenge. It certainly elevates a couple's communication but the challenge is can two people be just friends without straying into a emotional relationship as a result of being sensual with each other. Would it be too intense for a woman to attempt? Is that the issue?
 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 4
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Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:55:22 PM
When you say "...everything else but intercourse..." the first thing that came to my mind was a concept from back in high school, "Technical Virgin", meaning everything but intercourse.

However, that definition as is would include naked bodies, mutual stimulation, masturbation, oral sex and orgasm.

I struggle with understanding the actual point of this.

If you met a marriable someone, are you are looking to say your penis was not in another vagina, because that would be important to her? I am assuming you would not consider a woman marriable if that was not important to her. With that out there, now you tell her you engaged in sensual friendships with other women, do you think she would consider that acceptable? If you met a woman who said she engaged in sensual friendships, would she be marriable?

This sounds to me like you are trying to "legally" push the limits of how much you can do and be able to be semantically correct when you make the statement "I have not had sex outside of marriage". Whether technically correct or not, this can easily be interpreted as being deceptive. For something of this nature, I would wonder how many other statements you make that are "correct", but are way into the grey area or misleading.

Bob

P.S. Have you considered a career in advertising or politics? >:)
 krookie
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 5
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/21/2008 8:57:04 PM
I know it's only been a few posts, but I'm very surprised. Since when did "sex" not include EVERYTHING you're talking about? You call it being sensual. Okay. Call it what you will ("I did not have sex with that woman!"). You also asked if you would/could/should continue if you found someone else who you considered long term prospect. Pretty simple question to ask here... Would that significant other allow you to be "sensual" with another woman? Would you want her being "intimate" with another man? We know those types of relationships exist, although, for the most part, they are in the extreme minority. However, it doesn't sound like you were talking about that.

I just find it interesting that you differentiate between the "act" and everything else leading up to the act. And how in the world do you believe that you would not have some type of emotional attachment to the person? How could you NOT? And, for me personally, what would be the point?
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 6
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:09:47 AM
the intention is not to have it lead to a relationship, it's just a very close friendship. I guess it almost feels incestuous to some degree because don't female friends sometimes feel like your sister? In a way, it's an interesting way to enact a taboo of sorts, crossing the line of friendship or deciding to do that from the start but trying to remove romantic love from the equation while trying to establish a more deeper platonic love at the same time. When I googled the term, the place that referenced it was a wicca site, perhaps it is more common in those types of religions that cater to more of the communal experience.
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 7
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:45:22 AM
Let let's simplify it even further, how about no access to genitalia, no hand jobs, no oral sex, no orgasms.

Now some people might still view this as sex but I think since the intention is not to pleasure your partner in that regard, I think it is a bit less than a FWB. I imagine it is the kind of stuff folks did before losing their virginity.
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 8
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:58:07 AM
No, I didn't "find" anyone, what I am trying to explore is a new type of relationship that is not so focused on sexual release as so many ill-fated relationships happen to be. I did propose this as an alternative way of hanging out which is what she was looking for. She didn't want a sexual relationship. So I inquired what she thought she would like. She mentioned she once slept with someone without taking it to sex and thought that was very nice. It gave her a sense that that friend was closer to her. Kind of like a bigger hug. Now, that friend wasn't doing what I am suggesting. And, sure this is very erotic and perhaps frustrating but I am just trying to define another type of relationship more than friends alot less than lovers. In this we don't broach topics that open our vulnerabilities up like lovers do, so it's more than just sultry touching it's a different type of friendship that crosses the line a little more but that consciously decides not to get sexual. Hasn't anyone gotten a sensual massage and found it stimulating but didn't mind that it didn't go to sex? I am more than certain both friends will find it very arousing. And it might only work with more open minded people that would probably have other open-minded sexual partners. So perhaps it would be a consideration for swingers and not the less kinky members of society as what seem to be hanging out in this particular thread so far.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 9
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Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:36:05 AM
If having this sensual relationship is what your whole friendship was built on in the first place I would be questioning that myself. The best thing in any sticky situation like that is to just cut all ties- in respect of your new partner
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Did you cut the ties with the BF who won't check in April? Actual inquiring minds want to know????
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 10
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Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:30:31 PM
This would be like reverting back to your teenage years before losing your virginity and doing "heavy petting" for me....I'm sure this could be fun for some, but I couldn't do it...would have to take the "plunge"
 isspringhere
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 11
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/28/2008 6:20:36 AM
If you don't want the FWB situation then you most definitley better stay away from this scenario. IMO it's the same thing!!
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 12
Has anyone tried just being sensual friends?
Posted: 5/28/2008 1:20:01 PM
I think live and let live as long as people are cool with it. If both are not married and they aren't hurting anyone, then fine they are adults. For me? Its' not something I would ever do, but to each their own.
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