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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dati      Home login  
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 BizDevEng
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 1
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have to speak up about a recent thought i had and that is; I think this NEW category of "SMARTS" is comical. Your formal level of schooling does not define your education or even less "SMARTS" (I would be more than happy to discuss this topic with anyone). Now for those women that require as well as fiter men by a minimum level of "SMARTS" I will leave you with this quote:

"The child is regarded as a sort of a little beast, a kind of young ape, at best a little savage. The child, accordingly, is trained to act not by the light of reason, but by the command of superior force. The child is ruled by fear. Our young generation is trained by fear into discipline and obedience. We thus suppress the natural genius and originality of the child; we favor and raise mediocrity, and cultivate the philistine, the product of education, ruled by rod, not by thought." -Sidis

I know some may find this hard to believe but men are actually better judges of the true beauty in a partner but I digress. Hit me up with thoughts.

-Rich
 Ando4232
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 2
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Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:36:06 PM
Yea, I did laugh about the smarts thing as well. I have a high fascination of learning, consider myself educated but not because I went to college for a few years. I have learned more in my spare time by reading and studying things I'm actually interested in than I ever have in formal education. Perhaps a generalization, but it seems a lot of times the education is important for financial reasons/ employability, not merely being "educated".
 Malley
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 3
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/24/2008 10:08:01 PM
OP ... LOVE the quote !!!

I've always said the true us is beaten out of us as youngsters (metaphorically speaking) and we spend years trying to find and reconnect with that child we once were.

The trouble with education is many don't learn a thing after they graduate from their chosen field.

With some, the higher the education, the more focused their field becomes. Often times, this leads to a linear vision of the world surrounding them.

Others attend the School of Hard Knocks and have a larger base of general knowledge acquired through hands on experience and reading.
Common sense, though not all that common, can't be taught or learned in a classroom.

The route for one is not always suitable for another.
It certainly is no indication of how smart someone is.

The education level of a potential partner isn't all that important to me.
Intelligence is.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4
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Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:45:12 AM
Maybe "smarts" is just to vague and frivolous????

Just as they have "age" categories that most times will not tell you about the "whole" of that person, the amount of education may not reflect the over all intelligence of a person either; but just as age will give you a potential indicator for what you are looking for, so will education.

OT.......The "smarts" category needs to be adjusted to "education", because we all know those that are very educated and not that smart, and those that have little education, and are very bright........JUST as we know some that are over 40 and look and act much younger, and some that are under 40 and could pass as one of our parents......

Just my opinion.......
 Spanish Lover XCLNTE
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 5
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:03:33 PM
A formal education broadens your horizons and provides a benchmark of sorts. It is very rare for intelligent people that bypass college to be successful. I have yet to meet anyone without a college degree to be able to carry on a conversation with me. I have dated and even had relationships, tried anyway, with women without college degrees. It drove me nuts! They were all very nice, beautiful in their own unique way, but I need my mind screwed as much as everything else. I imagine this is the case for women, too. Partners should be compatible in their schooling. Now, it is not as rare for people with only a bachelors to go on to work on graduate level work after several years of experience. So folks like that could potentially be able to date PhD's, but the PhD's I have dated had much wider vocabularies than me at the time. Mine has improved but not to that level yet. So just conversing with them was a challenge and a pain for me.

I think your post is a bit too specific. The real question is why do people with higher levels of education have trouble dating those with less education. It's all about communication and breadth and depth of knowledge.
 Lynsteph74
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 6
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:38:40 PM
I am of two minds on this one, but I cannot see how that ridiculous quote fits the topic-

.....If I can bust my tail, while raising two kids alone to get a degree, then I can reasonably expect the same of a partner, a college education denotes more than (and less than) intelligence, it shows the ability to set and work for a goal-consqequently a man with a degree may have more in common with me than one without, if only the ability to think critically and to (hopefully) be able to organize his thoughts coherently, as well as a certain quality of perseverance that I value....on the other hand, I knew, from early on in life that I wanted to go to college, and I knew from early on in my college career what I wanted my major to be...and that particular goal kept me going through many, many very boring, very tedious classes, I may well have quit if not for knowing, and being able to clearly visualize, what I wanted my end result to be. I am not at all certain I would have graduated if I only took the basics, and went in the traditional manner, planning simply to "get a degree to make more money" that would NOT have kept me awake through History, and certainly would not have gotten me trying 4 times to pass College Algebra, LOL.

That said, I tend to be more optimistic when dealing with a person with at least some college, but I do not close any doors once I have decided to open them, based solely on a person's educational level.
 BizDevEng
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 7
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:40:08 PM
Let me discuss my experiences with this subject as I hope to shed some light as to why I posted. When I returned to school for my MBA I quickly realized the attitude of the women had changed drastically from my undergrad days. I found the women in my program were quite contemptuous of men who weren’t seeking their level of schooling. This of course came out not through classroom time but over the occasional group coffee discussions. To generalize from my experiences I’ve found that women were more inclined to not date below their status than men. This may be due to many social issues like; financially supporting a man/family, the male ego…etc.

The reason I posted this in “Ask a Woman” is because I felt (in general) women are the likelier (my experiences) of the gender to be bias and I wanted the opinion of women. For example if I was a man that had been cheated, I would be more likely to post for a woman’s opinion asking “Why do women cheat on men” even though it’s obvious that men cheat on women as well. The reason people post in “Ask a Woman” is purposely to be more specific.

-Spanish Lover (msg 26)

It is very rare for intelligent people that bypass college to be successful. I have yet to meet anyone without a college degree to be able to carry on a conversation with me.


Wow….what can I say to that. Well, I can start off by saying that you haven’t lived enough yet. You seem to be close-minded to the world of experience and knowledge of those who are not as high and mighty as you. And believe me it’s a world that will never be open to you until you drop the pompous attitude. Where you have “yet to meet anyone without a college degree to be able to carry on a conversation” I have met many with far less schooling than me and have been in awe of them. Again you have not lived enough to experience this but you will someday.

By your reference of someone with “a bachelors to work on graduate level work” would it be safe to assume you are speaking about yourself, Hmmm….I wonder if you fall into the “folks like that” category.

You emphasize so much your inability to deal with the vocab of PhD women (chuckles) but TRUST ME on this one, those with PhD’s care less about vocab and more on the philosophical views you can offer them thus broadening their view of the world. Can you see that your insecurity with PhD women comes from how you treat/view women that are less educated than you????

Lastly your point about being too specific in my post….read my point located just above you quote! Read the posts for this string you are in the minority and you are the only one that stood out to me with such a hard line.
 24DegreeAngel
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 8
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Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:13:01 PM
An interesting trend is occuring with my playboy friends... they went to university and they milked their under grad for a long as possible but were eventually forced to graduate. Then, not wanting to give up their frat, bartending jobs, daddy's money and grow up they went on to graduate school. Now they are 30 year old career student TAs that chase 18 yr olds college co-eds. I'm sure by the time they are forced to graduate from their masters they would persue another degree if they are still hot enough to get the college chicks. I'm not sure what they will be skilled at doing after they finish their education since they do the bare minimum to get by and are working on masters in arts ... maybe they will become professors ... lol.

Anyway.... would these friends of mine make better husbands over my other friends that just have highschool and have been out making a lives for themselves? Hmmm... nooo.. not really

I have two college parchments.... there are a lot of people without them that can't meet me at the same level intellectually. There are people with them that can't meet me in different ways... our purely intellectual conversation turns me off. I don't think education is much of a issue initially for me... but if we're not on the same intellectual level suddenly it's a issue.

They do say that the more educated a woman gets the LESS likely she is to get married. They also say that the more educated a man gets the MORE likely she is to get married.
 24DegreeAngel
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 9
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Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:13:53 PM
Yeah.. I agree formal education doesn't mean a lot.

An interesting trend is occuring with my playboy friends... they went to university and they milked their under grad for a long as possible but were eventually forced to graduate. Then, not wanting to give up their frat, bartending jobs, daddy's money and grow up they went on to graduate school. Now they are 30 year old career student TAs that chase 18 yr olds college co-eds. I'm sure by the time they are forced to graduate from their masters they would persue another degree if they are still hot enough to get the college chicks. I'm not sure what they will be skilled at doing after they finish their education since they do the bare minimum to get by and are working on masters in arts ... maybe they will become professors ... lol.
 24DegreeAngel
Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 10
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Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:30:58 PM
Further, I have two college parchments.... there are a lot of people without them that can't meet me at the same level intellectually. There are some without them that I seek to learn from. There are people with them that can't meet me in different ways... our purely intellectual conversation turns me off. I don't think education is much of a issue initially for me... but if we're not on the same intellectual level suddenly it's a issue.

They do say that the more educated a woman gets the LESS likely she is to get married. They also say that the more educated a man gets the MORE likely she is to get married.

I don't know if she's more elitist, has different goals or if men are intimidated by her... or all of the above? Where as the men are they more successful, sexy or was it their wife paying for them to get through thier PhD?
 BizDevEng
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 11
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:40:29 PM
-Lynsteph74 (msg27)

I cannot see how that ridiculous quote fits the topic-


The Sidis quote is summed up in the last sentence and especially the final few words. If you consider this against what’s at the topics core it should become evident as the correlation is clear. (hint hint…formal education is not what it seems)


If I can bust my tail, while raising two kids alone to get a degree, then I can reasonably expect the same of a partner


This is exactly what I’m trying to surface as you take such a position in this topic. Do you believe that because you worked so hard in seeking higher education that you deserve no less than that in a partner? Do you see anything wrong with that? Where would our society be these days if men took that exact same stance with women before the mid ‘80s (there would have been lots of lonely women out there). I bring up the mid ‘80s because it was around that time that women out numbered men in college. Women now find themselves at the student majority of 56% in college and if they take your stance (there will be lots of lonely women out there…but that might work out better for us guys) where will that leave us. I hate using stats but it's just food for thought.

My point is that there is so much more to relationships than the “Smarts” and if you stress it from the beginning as much as those who do than it’s no different as those who stress THE PERFECT 10 LOOK (how do those relationship end?)! Hmm…hope that made sense.
 BizDevEng
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 12
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:47:24 AM
-ShadowOfEnigma (msg38)
I liked what I read in the study. Do you know if the study was kept up to date beyond 2001? If so could you post for us to read?

-Falling Ember (msg39) & nicenormalgirl (msg40)
I couldn’t agree more with everyone having the right to filter for whatever category is open to them. All I question is when does to stop being romantic. Could imagine meeting someone for the first time and because of the massive filtering we’ve setup higher than normal expectations? It might be a recipe for failure.
 BizDevEng
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 13
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:30:17 AM
-UnstoppableLoveMachine
Great post...I enjoyed the read.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 14
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Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:10:44 PM
I don't particularly care if someone has a degree or not... but I don't date dumbasses, or those who have no outside interests, or don't have the ability and desire to be witty, or who let their minds atrophy or never develop them in the first place.

I've met some very interesting and intelligent men, but honestly the majority are mental midgets who do nothing more than work and come home and watch reality tv, the 'game' and either mow the lawn or go fishing on the weekends. I want someone I can TALK with, travel with and share some of the things we love... and for me that's more than working and maintaining a home and raising kids.

That's the difference for me...I am a professional with some education behind me, and a kind of renaissance person also...I want a partner who can keep up with me.. sometimes that means a degree and sometimes it's native smarts coupled with a desire to learn that is a lifetime thing. The best is a well-rounded guy... specialists are just as boring as dumb people.

peace
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