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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > She said there was No Spark      Home login  
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 superlaf
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 7
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She said there was No SparkPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Like you, I don't know why she would expect to experience a " spark" w/ nothing more than emails to go on... soooo many variables w/ what goes on inside a person's head. Internet dating/ socializing tends to be merely two dimentional at best - people say what they think you want to hear.
 tam879
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 9
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She said there was No Spark
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:00:02 AM
No Spark? I have had that done to me several times. But, when I met a few women from another dating service in person I automatically thought that they were not the ones. So, even as I knew that I wasn`t interested I gave them a chance I talked to them for an hour or so and we`d have coffee and talk. But all the while I knew that I wasn`t into them. I tried looking into their eyes and talk about things that might be interesting to them. Still I felt nothing. After that we walked out and I`d say "I don`t think this would work" and they even sometimes would say the same thing.
I did meet one women, which was my last relationship and yes I did feel something for her and maybe she did the same. Next thing we dated and were in a relationship for over a year.
So, sometimes there is a spark and it takes control and things happen next thing your into each other. But, what happened to that spark after 1 year? I didn`t feel it anymore, I`m not sure if she lost it either. ( Maybe I was lucky to find her).
I haven`t felt that spark ever since. (Still looking).
But if you just emailed how could know if there is a spark or not? Yes, sometimes they might just be playing or not to sure if they`re interested in pursuing a relationship just yet. Who knows? Just go and find someone else since you`ve not committed to her.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 10
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She said there was No Spark
Posted: 5/25/2008 6:12:35 AM
Ah, the old "no spark". Hmm, quite possibly during your correspondence she rethought her position of having been interested in you, obviously. You never met in person so it has nothing to do with in person physical attraction.

I'm with *Kyn* on this one. If there is no mental stimulation to warrant further correspondence then the rest isn't going to fall into place.

So, cast your line again into the vast ~chuckling~ pool of the pond and see what next you catch. Take her at her word.
 horses44
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 11
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She said there was No Spark
Posted: 5/25/2008 7:45:12 AM
~Kyn~ correct

I have read a couple of threads on here where people feel they are "entitled" to some type of answer...guess what, you're not. I think this is especially true during the e-mail, phone, couple of dates. I would think all of us here have experienced at least once the *poof* they are gone scenario - especially during that time. I have done it, had it done to me. I believe that a few of these guys were jerks, but quite a few were nice guys who just lost interest.

OP, you sound like a gem, certainly insightful for a 20 yo. Dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle!
 hearttwoheart
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 15
She said there was No Spark
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:29:50 AM
Yes, so that can happen. Question is how you got so tied up into someone who was only a pen-pal (not even a real voice) in the first place.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 16
She said there was No Spark
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:32:34 AM
I think if you thought this girl was so beautiful, so does alot of other people, if after awhile you have only emailed and never offered to call her, she might have thought the NO SPARK was mutual.

In ten days time she could have started talking to someone else and then you randomly send her another message asking when she will move. To me going ten days without talking to someone you are interested in...makes it seem like you arent very interested ...like you found someone else and then it didnt work and now you are back to her. There was no progression...you emailed, talked on aim and then took a vacation ...she moved on based on the fact that there was not really a spark to keep you interested in that ten days.

PS make sure your friend Sarah doesnt have a reason to see this go in the toilet!...I mean you didnt ask her yourself....so whatever she told Sarah would have to be taken with a grain of salt. Not that she didnt tell Sarah...no spark but I know it would be a turnoff to me if some guy I was into asked another girl why I had deleted him...I would tell her something vague vs telling her something about her *friend...next time ask her yourself. I have had a guy's friend tell me how much they like him but he doesnt know it...blah blah blah and it is just wayyyy to much drama to keep being involved with him when his friend is always snooping around trying to find out what is going on.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > She said there was No Spark