Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cutepoet
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 3
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with TimePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I strongly do believe that love, passion, and attachments feelings last even longer until the end of time.

My experience.
My last relationship lasted for two good and half years, and every day i woke up, i felt brown new, and my love was renewed each passing day, i never got tired of the love. Bcos it was real, and meant to be. And she later left after two and half years. but i have to move on, so i found myself in this appreciated, educating, and flawless site POF.
So i believe it last even forever, and if your heart is true, then your love for her can never ever fade away.

Let us all see example of ROMEO'S LOVE TO JULIET! He never gave up, he kept on writing poems, and always left JULIET speechless. They both died becos of love.
 cutepoet
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 4
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 11:51:51 AM
It's over, because it wasn't meant to be. God has a plan for us all, he knows who trully is going to stay with us forever until the end of days.
 saggy ass and saggy tits
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 5
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:03:42 PM
well do you know the feeling when you first meet someone? the butterflies, the wanting to be with that person all the time, the thinking of them all the time?
i do believe that changes with the passing of time..im not saying it is worse , but it is different...that first feeling you only get with someone new, thats why i believe people cheat to get that feeling.
when you are with someone for a long period of time it does not mean you love them less or they become less attractive in your eyes...it is just different you love them for more or different reasons...like everything in our lives and on earth everything changes every single day.
 TheRealBigschmo
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 6
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:16:02 PM
It definitely diminishes with time.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years and it feels like we're roomates more than anything.

We rarely have sex, and when we do it's boring.

However, on the up side, we don't really fight, and there's no stress about having to impress the other person anymore.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 1:04:40 PM
here is a study that recently came out in the Journal of Social Psychology, written by a Harvard, an MIT and a Boston student on just the subject called "Less is More".
www.predictablyirrational.com/pdfs/less.pdf
I'm curious to hear your own opinion on the subject sarsss
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It would be nice if you just summed that up for us in a sentence or two instead of sidetracking this thread to an unknown website. So, back to the topic.....

Hmm, like the a couple above, two healthy people truly in love can keep the passion going. I can remember a couple of relationships after a couple dates, "Things really started clicking, and there were butterflies in my stomach, and she wore sexy outfits if I came over, and I wrote poems and showed up on time, and anything and everything we did was "oh wow"...and after a year or so, some of that slowed down....I still thought things were great, and "stable". Perhaps I let up, and what I think was "stable and in love" she thought was "getting boring and fading fast".

So keep up with the butterflies, and thoughtful, romantic gestures.......and it will always feel intense.

I really wish I kept a better diary of those relationships...to see where I or her or we got off track. No abuse, No drugs, No (obvious) cheating, etc...just less desire to impress the other person like we do in the first few weeks.

A lot of it is YOUR MINDSET when meeting. If you imagine butterflies and hot kisses, and how lucky you are (and you pull your own weight)...then that's at least how you will feel and give off a "vibe". Hopefully our lovers are so inclined, and are purposely giving off "The Vibe" too, and not just same ol same "lets go to a movie" or "come on over" etc.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 9
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 1:42:08 PM
It dimishes some but the problem is people are into the person physically and then when the relationship gets deeper its actually work. They then want to move onto something new which will be more exciting because its new. People are different and there are no time tables.
 tam879
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:08:29 PM
I do believe that is what happened to my relationship. It lasted for only 14 months. Is that a long time? I have never had a long relationship before and I think that my communicating skills are not up to task. As for the love and passion, I don`t really know if I had love for my g/f or a deep enough passion. I think that I was very comfortable in my zone as she said. I guess I didn`t see what was happening in the relationship and therefore I couldn`t stop the breakup.
How do you communicate when you don`t really know how to?
How do you keep up the passion and love? Relationships are hard to keep going especially if you haven`t been in one. Dating and seeing people on and off is not a relationship .
 Mirage111
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 11
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:29:51 PM
No if its true it intensifys
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 6:32:45 PM
I think they can not only not diminish, but deepen with time if both people are truly not taking each other or the relationship for granted.

(and for some, living together full time might not be the ideal situation to keep the passion alive.)
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 13
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 6:44:16 PM
The passion or lust that 2 people experience at the very beginning of a relationship ALMOST never lasts. Sex every day or more? Staying up all night and still going to work the next day or calling in sick. Doing crazy stuff, maybe even "dangerous" stuff. Putting off "obligations", family or friends so we can be with Her or Him! Almost nothing else on our mind... That initial Crazy phase, the bonding phase, is simply Evolutions' way to [hopefully] get HER pregnant. That type of Love is simply not practical for most people. Plus, the longer folks spend together and that lustful phase "passes", the more folks "seem" to notice the various personality traits of their partner. Actually that lustful phase "transitions" more than "passes" according to Helen Fisher, THE authority on such matters. Google her - fascinating stuff!!!!!!!!!!!

I do believe it IS possible to keep the Fire burning ever so Hotly, but I think it is both very rare and very special to find two people who can pull that off and not manage to let "life" get in the way. SHOULD be a whole lot easier without kids around is my theory for now. Never hurts to Dream Big!
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:17:45 PM
yes^^^what a beautiful post
 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 19
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 5/31/2008 6:32:56 PM
If your focus is love sex and passion, then any relationship you ever get into will fail.

If your focus is to build a solid structured household where you can enjoy, trust and rely on each other in a moderate and loving home, then you have a chance.

The love sex and passion are the first spark in a lifelong relationship. If you stop at the spark and try to keep it alive for years, then you cheat yourself of the solidity, peace and happiness of a lifelong relationship.
 thomas387
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:30:19 AM
My longest experience of being in love was about ten years long, and that was with a girl that didn't feel the same way for me; she just wanted to be friends. Friends we were, and great ones at that. I never understood why she didn't want more, but I was deeply in love with her all that time, and I have no doubt that if she had shown me the same affection it would have lasted forever. It hurt me very much to be in love with her when she didn't feel the same, but it didn't really matter for a long time. That, combined with moving out of state, and wanting to move on in life, let me get over her, but I believe love can last between the right people.

Perhaps the fact that we were never actually in a relationship is the reason it lasted so long. Things were never allowed to get complacent, as many people on this post have commented about. I think part of combating that tendancy is to be with someone you're afraid to lose--which just means don't settle for someone if everlasting love is what you're looking for. They say the best relationships are made when the woman is more attractive. That creates the situation where each is afraid to lose the other because the guy thinks he's with a girl that is more attractive than he deserves, and the girl gets a guy that loves her fully and treats her great. ...I believe it, but I didn't come up with that so don't blame me if you disagree

Happy fishing
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Intensity of Love and Passion Diminishing with Time