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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol      Home login  
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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 4
Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lolPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
And after this talk you two had, he is thinking. "Well, I may need more time away from this chic since she doesn't want a boyfriend and I am kinda developing feeling for her. So, who can I call to get my mind off her?"
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 5
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Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/6/2008 1:51:12 PM
well hmmmm i think you should just sit back an wait to see what happens,, i would just keep playin the cool role with him,,
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I can tell you whats gonna happen...Based on all the lies, selfish attitudes, manipulative communication, and married status of these two, they will be starring on the Jerry Springer show. Oh yeah, what about the "someone else" she told him she met or seeing. Real or imaginary....that says it all.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/6/2008 8:24:14 PM
You need to listen to what he says and not just what he does. He was married so he is used to having a relationship so on one level, you act like you are in one but he obviously does not really want to be in one so you could really be waiting until eternity for this man to want more. He has been separated for three years, that should be enough play time for anyone.

Whether he will be ready to commit later, it seems that in these situations when he will be ready to commit it will not be with you. You can wait but if he truly has it in his mind he does not want a relationship he is not giong to wake up one day and find himself so overwhelmed with you that he wants one with you.

You also cannot expect him to be honest with you when you are too chicken shit to be honest with him. You missed an opportunity to take it further by lying to him. Why don't you try that talk again. You both have feelings but you are both unwilling to act on them because of the subterfuge. The limbo relationship, it isn't a good idea.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 7
Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/7/2008 9:45:03 AM
This is why women have so many problems. Why can't you just be honest and tell the truth. You are sleeping with a guy who is technically married; Nice.

"I'm emotionally into him now, I'll play head games and tell him I met someone to see where he stands, and then manipulate him to see what he says." That is immature, dysfunctional, and absolutely ridiculous.

TALK TO HIM! Your so freaked out about first being rejected, then second if you really think it will work.

And what great thing do you have? You screw eachother without ties. Dogs do that too. Thats special?

You can't ask him and have an adult conversation to discuss your feelings; you know the situation because you are in it, but you want to ask total strangers on POF what's going on? Wow.

Tell him how you feel and what you want. He will then do the same. You have some growing up to do in the relationship scene.

Women, stop mind reading, insinuating, using head games, manipulation, jedi mind tricks, and asking perfect strangers how the person you are dealing with feels and what you should do? Wouldnt' it be so much easier to be honest and just talk it out?

I think personally you shouldn't even be doing this; he's separated. Maybe you guys do belong with each other. man
 QTpye16
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 8
Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:01:07 AM
AngelD_24,

You're wondering why the two of you aren't together, when the fact is you told him you didn't want a bf simply because you ASSUMED you knew exactly what he was going to say when you had "the talk". The best thing you could have done was let him finish his statement and then go from there, but instead you jumped the gun because you didn't want to be/feel rejected and now all that has gotten you is more unanswered questions. I wouldn't suggest being patient, but I would suggest you talk to him again about this situation (and be honest)...cause if this guy really doesn't want a relationship, then it's best to let go and move on...emotions are no joke.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 9
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Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:08:49 AM
I read your post, but I'm still confused.
Maybe multiple choice will clarify this.

Do you want him to be your boyfriend? YES OR NO? (If yes, then you messed up by saying that you didn't want to have a boyfriend).

Let him finish his sentences, so that he can answer:
Do you want her to be your girlfriend? YES OR NO?

It's really that simple.

It is not messing up a good thing just to check in and talk about what the two of you are at. It's called communicating and makes things much simpler. The whole casual sex relationship should be ALL about being open with what you want and need.

Why make him sad with the thought of another guy if you wanted him to be your boyfriend? That talk could have been great. Just tell him you have feelings for him and be done with it already. If he doesn't share them, then yes, just go out and find a real boyfriend.
 URLOVEY
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 10
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Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/7/2008 10:11:17 AM
IMO you are playing games. If you DO want him to be your boyfriend and you are lying saying you don't, than you will only get what you ask for. If you are saying no for fear of lossing him than you are still screwing yourself because your not being honest with yourself.
If you want to know where you stand with him, ask yourself what you want from him. Then see if he can bring it or not. If not than you are both wasting alot of valuable time.
 j4ym4n
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 11
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Bootycall that may have turned into a good thing? lol
Posted: 6/8/2008 2:02:08 AM
You, my dear, is what i like to call the common "headfark" type of shiela.
What ever happened to being honest? sigh. People like this are the exact reason why guys all over (incuding me) are gaurded with thier emotions.
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