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 PattyMan2001
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 4
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Dating Male VirginsPage 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

Well seeing how I've almost reverted back into one...it looks like I'm not going to see any action at all anymore.


Hahaha I know the feelin
 79dude
Joined: 6/8/2004
Msg: 21
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 6/15/2005 8:33:32 PM
i will never date a male virgin!
 mellowc
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 23
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/7/2007 2:49:25 PM
Well I am a male virgin, never even kissed either. Mostly because I am shy. I have been looking for the right one. Had a few dates but never gotten to that part yet. Not in a hurry or ashamed either.
 jpneok
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 25
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/7/2007 4:00:06 PM
As many times as almost this exact thread pops up on POF, as much as some people would like to say male virgins are unusual, I'm beginning to get the opposite impression. As far as being older (such as my 33) and being one and not having kissed, I think its fair to say there are likely some sort of issues (I know I have my own), but not necessarily anything major, just things that never were dealt with - a lot of people don't have any incentive or way to deal with some issues, if there is no obvious available potential that suggests they need to do so.

As for another post here referring to getting to know if a guy is a headcase before getting involved with him (the guy was a virgin) ... I think you pretty much ALWAYS want to do that kind of pre-planning, don't you?
 alexberks
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 30
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Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/8/2007 12:11:35 AM
Umm - you're talking to one right here.

36, was someone's rebound for 3 weeks - 10 years ago. Since then, been the Friend/Brother - but
*nothing* else.

Definition of virginity - complete virgin (done absolutely nothing). Last time I kissed a woman was the rebound thing 10 years ago, so in effect - that is distant memory.

Upping the ante -what do you ladies feel about a guy who not only hasn't partaken of PIV (the technical virgin), but hasn't held hands, kissed, or really done *anything*?
 Warpgirl
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 32
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/8/2007 11:56:51 PM
Hmmm a virgin what a turn on!
As a 40 year old woman i can say that I would most definetely have no problems helping that shaft blast it's load into orbit.
 jpneok
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 33
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:56:28 AM
Odd how the thread devolved into "poking" and "blowing loads". Nice job everyone.
 bosoxn07
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 37
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/9/2007 11:22:23 AM
Hey were all virgins at some point in time...if you ladies don't take the time to teach us, how do you expect us to learn? And think about it...would you rather be telling your girlfriends about your boyfiren Bob who is sweet and innocent and a virgin who you can shape and mold into the perfect lover or Chaz your hot boyfriend who has so much expirence from the 100 notches on his belt...but your are number 101 arne't you!!!
 tips2toes
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 38
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/9/2007 8:58:20 PM
Ah ha!!! Here I am, a 43 year old male virgin. The reason I have never had sex because to be totally honest, it never interested me. I have other odd interests that naturally wouldn't sexually fulfill a woman. Sadly, that's why most of the women I see have to take Visa and Master Card. Gee... seeing it in writing like this.... I need HELP!!!!!!!

But a few of the ladies above are correct. If you put "it" in front of me, I wouldn't know what to do with it...... Maybe pet it or something.... Do they eat??

Tory
Virgin Supreme
 §püngl䧧
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 43
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/10/2007 3:31:37 PM
Yikes Vinny...after that last comment, I'm guessing they all went running thattaway <<~~~~~~~~~~~ That was a bit harsh..but you're entitled to what you want.

OT: I wouldn't seek out a virgin. At this stage of my life, I'd aim more for someone experienced that can maybe introduce me to things I've missed out on.. If I really hit it off with someone, I wouldn't turn them down due to their virgin status though.
 iamasiam
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 44
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Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:19:28 PM
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ditch your self-respect to fulfill somebodies view of the world.

Develop a respect for their choices and a fcuk em attitude. But I guess that is the crux of this thread.
 *Rock*
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 47
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/11/2007 8:24:38 PM
I'm a re-born virgin, i need to be de-flowered, accepting resume's...
 §püngl䧧
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 50
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:49:51 PM
For the record, I didn't put anyone down at all. Just as you guys have made a personal choice to remain virgins, at 35 years old and right into my prime I prefer to meet someone that DOES have experience. Personal preference is a wonderful thing... I'm not looking for the happily ever after moment, nor am I looking to have more children or anything of that nature, so for me to say I'd love to find a virgin would cause a lot more backlash from you people than me being honest in saying I'd have more fun and gain more knowledge from someone that was more experienced than me... I don't think there's anything wrong at all with being a virgin until you feel the time is right. I just don't feel that would be something I'd seek out.
 JoeSki42
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 51
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Posted: 3/12/2007 4:45:05 PM
Originally posted by vinny low

all these things eqaul 1 thing....a bad ****ing self esteem which leads to depression which leads to poor physical health..lack of sleep ulcers fatigue and in time death.


Find yourself a good gym and develop a solid (ie, practical, realistic, efficient) exercise routine. Virgin or not, after you jog four miles and pump iron you're ready to tell anyone who questions your worth to burn. Exercising increases your stamina, makes you happier, and helps you maintain a healthy perspective on things.

And yeah, you have as fair a reason to kvetch as anyone else, but when you go about it in that tone it sounds pretty bad. You're brain hasn't been set in concrete, and you're not going to die from not getting laid. If you're going to sound morbid and dramatic, read some Edgar Allan Poe first so you can go about it with some pop.

Originally posted by iamsiam

Develop a respect for their choices and a fcuk em attitude. But I guess that is the crux of this thread.


Well, having that attitude certainly keeps you from becoming distressed about being a virgin, but it's not going to help you get rid of it. I've been told that acting like you don't care attracts the ladies like nothing else, but in my personal experience that seems to exude the sense you simply don't care and turns them off as a direct result. Can't blame them there, apathy is a pretty strong turn off.

Originally posted by tango-shoes

Virgins are overrated. They don't last long, they don't know what they are doing.


I've seen a number of posts like this in this thread now...and let me guess, you've all dated virgin men with Leprosy!

Am I close?

Seriously, who are these men that are unable to perform any kind of sexual act just because they've blown their load? I mean, jeez, I can only assume if I were in the middle of the act and my Long Thomas fell off I could still fool around with the use of my hands, tongue, and the rest of my body for at least half an hour before asking if the girl wouldn't mind driving me to the hospital.

And then, ya know, telling her that she might have contracted Leprosy.

Am I missing something? How does an orgasm drain a person of an hour's worth of energy? If the dude doesn't have it after the orgasm, I'm thinking there's a fat chance he was going to last long regardless of whether or not he get his before you yours.
 JoeSki42
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 52
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Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:18:04 PM
And yeah, 21 year old virgin here. I'm neither proud or ashamed. I'm not a virgin because I'm religious or because of anxiety problems. Used to have the anxiety stuff, but no longer. And for the record:

I have a backbone
A sense of humor
A brain
At least average looking
Artistic
Good at conversation
A student
Has a decent job
Pays my own rent
Works out regularly

And either confidence or arrogance, depending on whether or not you agree on the items above. Also, I'm not a self acclaimed "nice guy" who does nothing but complain about how women only date jerks. I'm not a jerk either for that matter.

So how and why? 'Bout a year ago I'd have a few answers, but as for now I really don't know. I lead an active lifestyle, but rarely is there a mutual spark between me and a member of the opposite sex. I have a mind open to everything, a lot of interests, and a seriously warped sense of humor, so the typical person tends to bore me. I think I could have gotten laid several times over if only I've had the patience to endure hours and hours of worthless small talk about sitcoms, celebrity news,
work gossip, and thoughts on the latest contrived pseudo philosophical movie over seven beers and five hours. I see a lot of this going on. The people that hang in there fare pretty well, sexually.

But I'm not much of a drinker, and the places where people go to talk about my type of movies, shows, and news (cafe's, Enzian theater, bookstores, etc) tend to be filled with couples.

I've had the "friendship zone" thrust upon me a couple times lately. It's not fitting. I shirked it for one girl but kept a friendship with the other because I felt we fit that role for each other better anyways.

Really, I'm over being a virgin. The low self esteem is gone, the anxiety that kept me indoors for so long is kaput, I'm done second guessing my self with women, and I have no hard time shunning a girl or telling her to go away if I think she's trying to play games. I'm no ones little metallic dog. I'm so over being a virgin, I'm even over the anxiety of being a virgin at 21 years of age. I'm constantly full of energy, upbeat, caring, adventurous, horny, and kinky as hell.

Why am I still a virgin? Dunno. Came close to losing it once, but that date ended with the girl crying because, surprise surprise, she was cheating on her boyfriend of seven months with me. And this was after I had already spent a considerable amount of time, thought, effort, and money planning said date. Pretty bad night all around really.

Still, I got my first few dates and kisses out of the girl. The kisses were pecks, but that still counts for somethin', eh?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 53
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:44:10 PM
Virgin guys (mid 20's+) are a rarity. I have a friend who's about a year away from 30 and he's a virgin. However, he's gotten to 3rd base a handful of times, alongside a few stand-up doubles. He doesn't mind getting on base at all if he just meets a lady. I think once someone ends the college-days a virgin, you can expect them to be a virgin until they get into a serious long-term relationship.

I think what women have to worry about is that if the guy is older (mid-20's+) and still a virgin, it means that you won't be having sex for a long time... but if you don't mind sexual escapades except for actual sex for a long while, you can be in business. You'll be able to tell right away if the guy is a wierdo-virgin or just someone who's accustomed to keeping homeplate dust free.

As far as virgin guys not knowing how to do it... well, I think that's probably true with younger guys with no sexual ("relations") expertise. Remembering when I lost my virginity, it wasn't some cum-in-a-heartbeat situation at all. The difference of feeling (for all you virgin guys out there) compared to 'everything else' was much like the difference between a so-so blowjob and an awesome blow job.
 Londinium
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 55
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:42:37 AM
Women are sexually selective and, generally speaking, drawn to the most attractive minority of men. This minority of men has it easy, whereas the majority of ordinary men have to work fairly hard to obtain sex, and there will, inevitably, be a sub-set of these men who rarely or never succeed sexually. It has nothing to do with male choice.

Male virgins are not as rare as some people here would claim, although they tend not to boast about it. Many men are forced to lose their virginities in brothels.

It was no co-incidence that one of the posters who expressed criticism of male virgins was called ‘Ms Picky’. Women have the right to be selective, but there are unfortunate consequences for others.

I was interested in a mention above of involuntary female celibacy: that really is a rarity. Where exactly is that thread?
 §püngl䧧
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 56
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:07:52 PM
Londinium, it might be a thread (involuntary female celibacy) that could be started that you'd be surprised at the answers to. Just because it's easy enough for a woman to find sex if that's what she wants...doesn't mean it's easy to find a partner she has a suitable interest in...
 Londinium
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 60
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:22:16 PM
“because it's easy enough for a woman to find sex if that's what she wants...doesn't mean it's easy to find a partner she has a suitable interest in”

That had occurred to me: inability to find a ‘suitable’ male vs inability to find sex. I can see that.

Having said that, I have known a few women, including a couple of university students, who claimed to be involuntarily celibate but were just inexperienced in life and did not realise the tremendous sexual power that they held. Once they found out how easy it was, they were off like a rocket.

What used to happen in the 1950s, when almost everyone got married, or so we are told? The vast majority of women must have settled for second-best. Actually, that does explain a lot.
 JoeSki42
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 62
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Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:32:30 PM
Originally posted by Vinny Low

thing is ppl keep saying how picky women are and that they choose "the most attractive minority of men" and thats comple b/s....in fact i find it the opposite...there are some ugly doosh-bag f ucking guys with doosh-bag personalities who have some damn fine women on their arms....if youre a crude jerkoff who treats women like snot and diariah vommited out of a buffalos****and are uglier than jfk..then you will get women galoure.


Well once you bite into this observation, you're getting into the whole "women only date jerks while us nice guys finish last" argument. Which when ran, torn apart, and ten put back together and consolidated in the interest of saving time and space looks like this:

Men date men with confidence.
Jerks have bad attitudes, but they also have buckets of confidence.
Jerks usually don't show their bad side until a good bit of time into the relationship.
And as a direct result, you see a lot of women dating horrible men.

As for the supposed "nice guys"...

"Nice guys" always complain and moan that women are always dating jerks, not them.
This shows a lack of confidence, which is horribly unappealing.
Also, by saying "women only date jerks, not us nice guys", a guy is essentially blaming his inability of attracting the opposite sex on women...which when you get right down to it, isn't nice at all.

This subject has been discussed to death over many different threads at a different board I'm a member of. It's good to have an idea of how the social schematics work here, because on the outside it really does look screwy.
 whispers_in_the_dark
Joined: 7/7/2006
Msg: 64
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:24:45 AM
I'm not so much the shy sort, that's a little bit of it with me, but I'm mainly just really picky. Was probably 11 the first time I kissed someone, came close to having sex with a gf at 18, but never went all the way and haven't dated much since. I've had offers both in real life and on here, and keep turning them down. Not a religious thing at all, just mainly because the girls who tend to want to have sex with me, despite often times being very physically hot, are also very emotionally cold. I'm not waiting for the girl of my dreams, just someone who won't be off to the next guy 10 minutes after we're done.

I met a 21 year old girl the other day in a chat room who said she'd had sex with 30+ men she met online and many more she met in real life. When I told her I was a virgin, rather than wanting to bang me as she had wanted two minutes earlier, she started telling me off for having waited, as if it was an insult to be talking to me. The more sexually aggressive women I talk to, the more I find that reaction.

A question for you virgin males- you meet a girl who is everything you want and you date for a while. She's fine with the fact that you are a virgin, but she herself has had sex with quite a few men in a short period of time (say 15-20 guys in the span of 2 years). Do you give up something that you've held onto to someone who is fairly liberal with her body, not knowing whether it'll be a relationship or if you might just be the next notch on her bedpost?
 Londinium
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 66
Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:18:11 PM

“..there are some ugly doosh-bag f ucking guys with doosh-bag personalities who have some damn fine women on their arms..”


This is true, but you are narrowing the parameters of attractiveness. These men clearly possess some attributes which women do find attractive: a man who is not conventionally good-looking or unversed in the social niceties might still be muscular, athletic, wealthy, confident, socially dominant, etc.

I agree with JoeSki42’s laconic assessment.
 born2bwild1900
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 67
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Posted: 3/14/2007 6:26:25 PM
I am a male virgin but ive done it only 19 times.
 JoeSki42
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 69
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Posted: 3/14/2007 10:59:43 PM
Originally posted by 6thfinger

Am I making a mistake by being so open about my inexperience?


Heterosexual guy here.

Well...yes and no in my opinion. I've had a fair number of conversations with women about my own virginity and the general opinion is:
"Holy crap, really? I mean...you have a good personality and you're not horribly deformed or anything..heck your sorta cute. Well...I think that's pretty cool...but you don't tell women that when you first meet them, right? I mean, you probably want to wait a while."

Which strikes me as about right, and as such is usually what I do. I understand that you want them to understand, but at the same time after you make it loud and clear you're a forty year old virgin you're going to have a women sitting in front of you asking herself what she's supposed to do with that information. Think of the questions she has to ask herself:

"Is he asking for sex?"
"Maybe he's insecure about it?"
"Why is he telling me this?"
"Is he trying to engage my sympathies?"

And so on.

I think it's important to show that you can be yourself despite the years of solitude. You don't want to come off like you're desperation or loneliness personified. Maybe going forty years without intimacy has partially shaped you into who you are, but by no means should you let it define you.

Also, coming from a heterosexual guy, you look fine. Plus your profile reads a lot better than most on this site.
 JoeSki42
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 70
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Dating Male Virgins
Posted: 3/14/2007 11:15:26 PM
Originally posted by 28_year_old_virgin

A question for you virgin males- you meet a girl who is everything you want and you date for a while. She's fine with the fact that you are a virgin, but she herself has had sex with quite a few men in a short period of time (say 15-20 guys in the span of 2 years). Do you give up something that you've held onto to someone who is fairly liberal with her body, not knowing whether it'll be a relationship or if you might just be the next notch on her bedpost?


Been there, done that. Didn't get to the sex bit, only the bit where she started crying half an hour into the date and confessed to me she was cheating on her boyfriend of seven months with me.

But I'd do it again. The only thing I regret is that she wasn't who she said she was.

It's a funny situation to find yourself in though. As a guy, my role in the relationship was to be the unflinching, steady, stoic and upbeat rock. And generally, the notches in the belt don't present themselves all at once, but rather little by little. But I always stayed cool as she casually laid on story after story about her past lovers. After a while though, I started thinking of each past failed relationship as a dead body. So she had a few at her feet; beside me, who doesn't? Then as she came out with more and more stories, the body count kept growing and growing...and I kept smiling and smiling....until after a while she was standing on top of a huge damned pile of corpses I was then standing in the shade of, still smiling like a fool, and asking:
"Eerr...say honey, I don't mean to pry, but exactly how did most of these things end exactly?"

And for the record dudes, you should never be made to feel ashamed, embarrassed, or any kind of weird for asking this question. It is totally legitimate and has its place.

Ya know, just in case anyone finds themselves in this scenario.
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