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 MaryAnn Singleton
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 1
Has this ever happened to you?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Recently I met a guy and wow! I don't know if it was love at first sight, but something about him just hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember thinking, "OMG, I really like this guy" and we'd only just met.

Here's the kicker. I see him sometimes - we 're definitely not dating - and each time we meet, I get the whole butterflies in the stomach thing and all weak in the knees and about a million other cliches. But he's just not into me. (There are various things he's done which show a lack of interest.)

This is the first time in my life that I've experienced such a strong reaction to someone and I guess I always thought that if I felt such a powerful attraction that it would be mutual.

So here's my question - has anyone else had something like this happen? You meet someone, go weak in the knees and they are just totally indifferent?

(BTW, this is totally out of character for me. I tend to be very practical and matter of fact - in the past I didn''t usually know if I liked a guy right away - I needed to get to know him and his character before I could see if I'm interested. And yeah, I know I sound like Little Miss Loneyhearts but it's ok. I'll get over the guy ... eventually!!!)
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 2
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Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:38:19 PM
Yes, this does happen to me at times. With a special lady friend I have been spending time with lately and I almost enjoy that feeling, been a long time since I have had those feelings.
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 3
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:47:42 PM
I call that a "crush"... It feels good when someone can make you feel that way by just standing within a city block of you... It doesn't feel good when someone you feel that way about doesn't feel that way about you but hey... It reminds you that you are a full-blooded, normal, passionate person and whets your appetite...

They serve pickles for the same reason in restaurants.. to stimulate your palate...

Let it be that... As long as you know who you are, what he thinks of you doesn't matter much... And it's pretty nice to have a crush on someone...
 oldiebutgoodie
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 4
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Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:01:25 PM
Thats probably happened to lots of people before. But you cant make someone like you. If he's not into you...theres nothing to say or do about it. Move on!
 Aurora747
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 5
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:16:41 PM
Yes...and I haven't been the same since. He left an indelible mark on my soul. I am, like you, normally very practical but this one threw me for a loop. I've lived a lot of years, most of it emotionally hum-drum, so imagine my surprise when I encountered someone who mattered. I had the same symptoms you described...for 18 months! Alas, he didn't have integrity and, long story short, he was not into me. I am trying to work through this now, without much luck. If I had to do it all over again, I would want more character insight and I would listen to the inner voices that holler "red flag". Perfection is subjective. Attraction is distracting. Pain is temporary. But failure is never final and happiness is never ending. Keep looking and the planets will align!
 MrMan999
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 6
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:29:12 PM
Harville Hendricks writes about this, with what I believe is a great deal of insight. There are unrecognized parts of ourselves that crave recognition, and certain people reflect those unacknowledged aspects of our soul back to us.

They bring out parts of ourselves that we otherwise wouldn't see, and the way they treat either themselves or us shows us a way of loving that can be very exciting.

It is wonderful when the crush is mutual, but even if it isn't, the significant other can teach us about new ways to love and appreciate ourselves. So, instead of focusing on the loss when the crush isn't reciprocated or comes to an end, we can choose to focus on exactly what it was that the person gave to us--the quality of attention the other person brought to us, and cultivate that same quality or ability within ourselves.

The people we have crushes on teach us how to love ourselves and others more deeply.

The loss of a crush doesn't have to be bitter, even if it doesn't work out.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 7
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:48:07 PM
Is this post copyrighted because I pretty much see this every day from a women somewhere.

You think he's attractive so you make it into some magical thing. He doesnt feel the same obviously so you should stop making it out to be romeo and juliet and move on.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 8
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:44:27 PM
Wow! I haven't had that feeling in quite a long time. I sure remember what it feels like though. Including the part where the feelings aren't reciprocated. Keep being friendly to him when you see him. Perhaps he needs to get to know you and your character before he becomes interested. Just something to think about.
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:14:53 AM
i wish that would happen to me, i get more turned on by food!
 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 10
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:27:09 AM
Wow...I've only felt that once in my life and I was in Grade 8...love at first sight...butterflies in my stomach whenever I saw him...my heart would pound a million times a minute. It took us 17 years to get together...so maybe there is a chance...just be patient...jk. I do know that sometimes I'm slow on picking up that someone could be special in my life...it's like not really paying attention to things/your surrounding...so like a previous poster said...just keep in touch with him...and you never know.
 Powervamp
Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 11
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 12:47:55 AM
Maybe the guy does like you, but doesn't reaally know how to express it. If you know him from work, he may feel he obligated to hide it.

I liked this girl once...my heart jumped when I saw her. I was told she liked me back, but I thought people were just messing with me at the time. Anyway I'm sure I came off as indifferent too; maybe worse.

If there is that much chemistry, he must feel a spark too. Take a chance, or you'll wonder what might have been years down the road.
 artigirl
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 12
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 1:13:57 AM
I have to say it has happened to me once. Wonder of all wonders we meet online, and meet in person the next night. I havent felt such a strong love towards a person since. I have loved him for the past three years. Wish I could say mine worked out. But alas, the more you love a person, the more it hurts in a mistake is made. It took two years, but we dated and ended in record time.

I have gotten goose bumps talking to a person when I first meet them, but that typically fades after a month.
 pikakegirl
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 13
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Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:11:31 AM
Yes this has happened to me quite recently and the feelings just aren't reciprocated.. it's best to date others until you are sure and the feelings are returned the same, you know? It's been tough, I'm currently dealing with it. But dating other people does help! ;) Best of luck to you.
 plumb5150
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 14
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:34:55 AM
The only time a woman made me week in the knees was the time I was on an elevator with 4 old ladys. Each was waring a gallon of perfume. When the doors shut it hit me hard. My head was spinning, heart was pounding, knees buckled. I thought I was a goner.
 MaryAnn Singleton
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 15
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:50:33 AM
Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

Most of my friends are married or hooked up and haven't dated for a LONG time so it's great to get a different perspective from the Forums.

It's funny thing about a "nonmutual crush" - I think my ego was telling me that the guy HAD to be feeling something too, despite his behaviour. So I'm glad I posted the question because now I know it was just my ego, and it'll be easier to move on.

In the meantime, yeah, the whole crush experience IS pretty cool. Man, it makes me feel really alive - which is great. I have a tendency to think too much, so it's nice to know that my heart (or sex drive or whatever) can take the driver's seat at times!

NOTE: this DOESN'T mean I'm going to jump the guy, ok??? I figure if I see him again, then cool, and if I don't then it'll be easier to get over him. So, it's all good.
 fresh_start4me
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 16
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:46:47 AM
Ive never been weak in the knees cept after riding my bike to hard. But id love to.!!! sorry he didnt have the same feelings. But Im sure you will feel it soon and it will be mutual!!! keep fishin there lots at sea!!!!
 iwantaniceguy
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 17
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:05:29 PM
I think there are people you will meet in your lifetime who you are somewhat of a "sucker" for. I used to know a guy who I felt that way about. Maybe it was his casual cool attitude, or maybe it was his sense of humor. Not sure. But I know how you feel. I'm not sure I would say what you're experiencing is love, but just a big crush :)
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 18
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Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:09:34 PM
I knew you were about 40 years old.
 Son Shine
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 19
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:10:23 PM
Ne'er a sadder thing than unrequited love...or something like that...Shakespeare ?

Too many times !!!

 Minau
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 20
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:14:53 PM
Ya for awhile I had to assess what was really going on with this love at first sight experience...was it really love or just infatuation. Considering it lasted for 17 years it must have been something pretty real. He was older then me and never got married...after we gave it a shot and it didn't work out...he got married a year later...now I sort of regret it and would have liked a second chance...oh well. But the problem was there weren't any lusty feelings...actually that part of it kind of lacked which I didn't understand despite the crazy emotional feelings I had for him. So I say it could be true love if it can stand the test of time...that is the true test...and if the feelings are that strong...there really could be something to it...that's how life works. He maybe just reacting oddly...just wait it out and the truth will come out :)
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 21
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Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:35:43 PM
ahhh..unrequited love.

but this is really sounds more like unrequited infatuation.
Time takes time, Love takes time

I've been in that situation where there is more of a draw from one or the other
and, honestly, I'm not sure it it ever is totally equal. you know 50 50.

but even when it's been lopsided, we've usually managed to pull something out of it..a friendship, Perhaps?

It's when two look at each other at the same moment in time, and both feel the draw, are able to laugh , touch, hold one another in a moment....That's when it's time to pay attention.

Yes, you'll get over this eventually...
peace
~~~~~~~~~~ 'Kimbo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 22
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:47:18 PM
This is why it's best to date "down". You will never have your heart broken and can be assured of being the dumper, not the dumpee.
 Son Shine
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 23
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:58:26 PM
She's so right ^^^^^ My secret shame is hanging out at senior citizen homes to check out the action !!!
 EastCoastLipps
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 24
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/12/2008 3:36:36 AM
Know exactly how you feel. Same thing happened to me, only guy showed interest in me before we met and during meeting, then after meeting, not so much, lol. Laughing now, crying before.
It is an unexplainable feeling you get, but your soul feels safe when you are with them and you crave them when they aren't there.
I always thought something that strong would have to be mutual too, just doesn't happen like that I guess.
Time to move on and just appreciate that feeling you did have and hopefully will have again with someone else. The next time hoping that those feelings are returned that is.
 antique knight
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 25
Has this ever happened to you?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:04:19 AM
i agree with everybody that has been thru it. the infatuations happen when we look tooo hard and try to grab the brass ring and find out later it was junk metal. i have friends infatuated as teens, split by parents and marriied later in their 50's . but that is love and understanding that will do that. infatuation is like a rain storm; a lot of hoop-lah at first then it just fizzles out in the end.
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